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tsatske -> RE: Causing offense. (7/8/2008 8:39:03 AM)
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missturbation, i understand. i think what is being said is that, as dark said, much of it is in presentation.
at our most recent kink event, i was lead around on a leash by my collar, wore my cuffs, and sometimes chains. the hotel had given over an entire and seperate wing to the event. all kinksters stayed in the same, seperate wing where all claseses, vendors and events also were. my leash was taken off when we walked out of the wing to eat or enjoy other hotel amenities.
On Sunday afternoon, the hotel admin. sent word to the event mods that enough people had checked out that they were now opening the wing to other check ins - and they had just checked in a family with children. The leash came off. No longer approprate for hallways and elevators. still don't think it was the best decission on the part of the hotel - god forbid a two year old walk into the vendor room.
but i wear my collar all the time. it is a plain link chain collar. It has on two occasions been pointed out as a 'dog collar' (which it is) -once by the least subtle of my bio sisters, once by a child. I responded not at all, either time. i do not think the prescence of a chain around my neck is overtly offensive. no parent at work ( i work in child care) has ever commented.
at work and in the prescence of family, at church, ect. i wear my hair down, so my padlock is covered. i take care to make sure it is at the back of my neck at all times ( it has a tendency to want to work its way around to the front). but out and abuot shopping and running errands, i sometimes leave my hair up in a bun. some of my shurts ( even some - but not all - teeshirts) cover the lock, some don't. my work uniform did, so that was good.
the lock has on very rare occasion been comented on, and only by cops, interestingly enough. the last time i had to be in the courthouse in my hometown (where parking tickets get paid) i told the cop at the end of the line to the metal detector 'my choker will cause it to go off' (i always point this out going in, makes for smother transition) the cop at the other end said, 'It's your necklace' i said, 'i know. i told the other officer it would'. He stood there staring at me for a minute, till the officer operating the line next to him, and therefore standing behind me, told him, 'it's padlocked on' at that point 'my' officer growled at me and said, 'is there a reason for that?' i just gave him a calm, flat face and said, 'it's cultural'. he growled some more, passed a wand over me, and waved me in. I have to say, although i know he was offended, i do not believe that i am out of line to chose to wear my collar. it does not offend 'enough' to make up for what i get from it.
everyone offends someone. many perfectly lovely and devout muslem ladies, of both the mid Eastern sects and the American ones, offend people all the time just by wearing a burka. should they wear less clothes, and dishonor their own values, beliefs and culture, just in order to offend no one? we constantly have to measure - how much offense is given? and what od people really think - when we try to think like them, from their perspective, not our own?
i truly doubt that dark offended anyone. they probably did not see it as kinky - just as a joke about 'keeping order', in a funny. lighthearted way. now, if they had known the truth, some of them would suddenly have found it offensive!
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