RE: Causing offense.

RE: Causing offense. (Full Version)

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ownedgirlie -> RE: Causing offense. (7/8/2008 5:13:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth however, this slave's job description does not include taking into consideration everyone's personal preferences on what sort of attire they find offensive before she leaves the house. only Master's and the constraints of our local "dress code" decency laws. if Master wanted His slave to wear only a pair of thigh high boots, a bright pink string bikini and a big black leather studded collar, with OR without leash for a stroll down the local public sidewalks, she would, and genuinely NOT care if it caused someone else "offense" by viewing her. I just love your posts. It is not up to me to decide what I will and will not do, based on other people's comfort levels. I have deferred that decision to my Master, along with any other decision having to do with me. As for the question about a collar and leash in public and how to not show it to the world, creativity comes into play. Master took me to a Broadway show in New York in a choke chain collar and leash. I wore a teal fitted jacket/blazer with nothing but a shelf bra underneath, and a black skirt, thigh highs and black semi-heels (thank God he doesn't force me to wear high heels!). The choke chain was covered in a scarf, the leash ran from the collar, down the sleeve of the blazer, to my wrist, where he held it and would yank it from time to time just for fun. It worked. I could hardly keep my knees from buckling and all anyone around us thought was that we were holding hands with him walking slightly ahead of me. He has done things with me in public that others would find questionable. But that is his choice and not mine. I have dropped to his feet and kissed them in the Las Vegas airport while about 200 people looked on, but I was oblivious to them because I was so excited to see him. I'm pretty sure people lived through such events.

missturbation -> RE: Causing offense. (7/8/2008 5:30:12 PM)
quote: It's a case of always being 'right' when the reference is in the first person. However, when the reference is 2nd or 3rd person, there should be a law against it! I'm sorry i missed the part where i said i was right and everyone else was wrong! quote: Well, the last time I was in London, I recall seeing many people walking around other people wearing harnesses and at the end of leashes. They happened to be 2-3 years old (those wearing the harnesses) but few gave them a second glance. I presume you are talking about baby reins here. Of course noone gave them a second glance, baby reins are socially acceptable to most. There are some people however who do not agree with their use for medical reasons and therefore find them offensive. quote: Being selective, or better yet selfish, about liberty insures one thing - eventually everyone will have none. I'm not being selfish about liberty if that was aimed at me. I would love the world to be the kind of place where walking down the road in a collar and leash was acceptable but it just isn't. And like i have said before forcing people to see it when they don't understand it will not help our cause.

missturbation -> RE: Causing offense. (7/8/2008 5:32:29 PM)
quote: In this ecconomy I hope the manger/owner's pocketbook can support his personal morality and/or prejudice. Does it really matter if it can or can't. He excercised his personal liberty to not have something he finds unacceptable in his premises.

missturbation -> RE: Causing offense. (7/8/2008 5:40:52 PM)
quote: Misst - for one, please do not take my words out of context. You simply prove my sons point by doing what you just did. Both these sentances are based on different posts, and are not related. *Sorry but they appeared to be related to me.* quote: The first sentance was about your insistance that I am responsible for anothers child. *Please, i never said you were responsible for anothers child. You are responsible for the consequences of your actions whatever they may be. The swearing and children was used as an example.* quote: I am not responsible for what a child does after they hear me swear - that is their parents responsibility. *Ah right. Ok so i'll teach your children behaviour you find unnacceptable and then just leave you to deal with the consequences shall i?* quote: As my boy said - words are just words and any word can be used against another to try and make it look bad. *I totally agree. However i think there are some words small children shouldnt have to hear.*

missturbation -> RE: Causing offense. (7/8/2008 5:46:42 PM)
quote: this slave finds it offensive that men can walk around with their nipples hanging out, in public, and women can't, without causing offense and breaking the law...(except in Ohio, thanks BeachMystress!!![;)]) this slave finds it offensive that medicine prescribed by her doctor is not allowed to be consumed (smoked) in the same public places that allow tobacco to be consumed (smoked), without causing offense and breaking the law. this slave finds it offensive that folks regard wearing symbols of vanilla relationships (promise/engagement/wedding ring) as perfectly o.k., in public, but folks wearing symbols of an M/s relationship (collar, with or without leash) causes offense and does harm to offspring. I have no disagreement with you. But it still goes back to what is socially acceptable. It is socially acceptable to go topless on a beach. It is not socially acceptable to smoke anywhere in this country now so sorry but that one kinda goes out the window. It is socially acceptable to wear wedding rings etc, collars and leads not so much. Is it right? No. Can we change it? Probably not to any degree that really counts. Flaunting a collar and leash in public though probably isnt the way to get the change we would like.

Prinsexx -> RE: Causing offense. (7/8/2008 6:16:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NeedingMore220 This brings up a thought for me. Do people believe that others really need to understand BDSM? Do you feel a great need to get it out there and accepted? Read two and a half pages of thread and finally got to the crux of the whole issue. My answer is: not in the slightest. The only ones who need to understand their bdsm are myself and Master, what it means for us. (God knows between us we have spent an entire century trying to figure out what it meant within our own souls.) Even as a therapist I never assume to understand another person's issues....I only ever offer them the tools to go figure it out for themselves. So the issue really is what is the MOTIVATION behind having to understand how/why/why not/when/ and when not of conformity?...since there really is no escaping some form of conformity anyway? As one of my absolute heroes Frank Zappa once said in the 60s at the Albert Hall to the assembled crowd of hippies, social deviants and wannebe somethings..... “Everyone in this room is wearing a uniform.” Jeeeeez what's the big deal about to wear a collar or not to wear a collar? Get your arses off to Berlin where the wall inside people's HEADS has also come down. OK now going to read the rest of the thread..............

Prinsexx -> RE: Causing offense. (7/8/2008 6:29:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz Since I do not have the ability to draw the line for anyone else, I can only draw it for myself, and deal with whatever scenario presented based upon my own line. I will not worry about others line as they do not worry about mine. I have the ability to draw the line as a mother. That is an ability that defines one of my roles as a mother. But here we are consenting adults are we not? And it seems that others do worry a great deal about our lines not only worry but try to delineate new ones, erase ones we have each been creatively drawing for years and even bitterly twist our lines to look their own........but i absolutely agree that does not require reciprocity.

Prinsexx -> RE: Causing offense. (7/8/2008 6:40:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark I am not responsible for anyones upbringing, other than those I bring into the world myself. I do not expect anyone else to raise mine - do not force me to raise others. the.dark. I respect this. whilst on the surface it would appear to be selfish i have thought about this issue a great deal myself as a mother. My children do not do detentions at school. My daughter wears make-up and modifies her school uniform to suit her own needs. My middle boy has not attended schoool for twop years. i run the gaunlet of litgation, arrogance and petty mindedness of those who are supposed to be educators. Fortuneately i have educated myself enough to hold a reasoned case to explain why i feel i alone am an authority over my children whilst they remain as my children. Selfishness in this sense has in my opinion far greater integrity than enforcement of codes of conduct through negative reinforcement regimes like detentions. As i can wholeheartedly say i feel this to have integrity for myself and the running of my household in my role of mother i also feel it has spiritual integrity. we are as one pebble thrown into a stream. A multiplicity of personal integrities works in harmony far more so that inmosition of should or shouldn'ts. It's a weak argument if all that upholds it is because one shouldn't......

coupleowl -> RE: Causing offense. (7/8/2008 6:50:28 PM)
You can't please everyone. I figure is someone realldy doesn't like what they're seeing then they don't have to look. I really don't care what most people think, and so long as the law isn't being broken there isn't much of a problem .

Leatherist -> RE: Causing offense. (7/8/2008 7:02:14 PM)
By not being an exhibitionist. You can get away with a lot more in stealth mode, than by acting like a blatantly retarded drama whore.

masterforRT -> You have to be careful in public... (7/8/2008 7:02:48 PM)
Wearing a collar is one thing in public, but striking a woman there is another-and law enforcement would LOVE to insert themselves into your situation! See, most cops are sadists themselves, and they LOVE busting (read;causing pain to) other people. Be VERY careful while in public!

UR2Badored -> RE: Causing offense. (7/8/2008 7:16:17 PM)
As cliche' as it sounds, there is a place and time for everything. Discretion is often, not always, a skill of being tactful. Technically there is no "true" way to do anything per one person here; there are ways to avoid the problem all together in some circumstancies. Though laws have been mentioned, common courtesy (assuming that there is a basic understand of this by the cm readers) when considering time and place may well be a lost art as I read this thread.......I'm clinging to all hope it hasnt died. In my very small community, I rarely ever am offended by anyone On the otherhand, I dont think adorning a neck with a collar or a diamond pendant is predominantly offensive to the masses that be. However, from time to time, I can be offended by crude/rude/inappropriate behavior, public acts (make that getting caught or it does not include me [8\|]) and lack of manners such as CD brought up arguing couple disturbing other paying customers at a movie. I respect the little passive elderly woman sitting in the restaurant with 3 grand ums next to my table, I will not throw her table a "f" bomb PERIOD IF I ever had a need to do that, it stopped in the Junior High School--Therefore no adult in my vicinity would have to monitor me, leave, talk to the manager for my removal, because in that circumstance I would be respecting the other parties right to eat in peace--Life is too short not to have basic manners and avoid such trivial problems. In my area there is courtesy shown to others, it just might be a southern thing. RECAP: There is a time and place for everything, and we all are the fault-happy humans--things happen.

Prinsexx -> RE: Causing offense. (7/8/2008 7:20:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth this slave finds it offensive that men can walk around with their nipples hanging out, in public, and women can't, without causing offense and breaking the law...(except in Ohio, thanks BeachMystress!!![;)]) and this slave me dear found it offensive not to be able to breast feed in public. quote: this slave finds it offensive that medicine prescribed by her doctor is not allowed to be consumed (smoked) in the same public places that allow tobacco to be consumed (smoked), without causing offense and breaking the law. and this slave finds it offensive that there is a power structure which enables state subsidised pushers of drugs (NHS) to daily addict and polute in the name of health whilst she cannot self-medicate without someone questioning her state of mind and necessity for doing so. quote: however, this slave's job description does not include taking into consideration everyone's personal preferences on what sort of attire they find offensive before she leaves the house. only Master's and the constraints of our local "dress code" decency laws. ditto

Prinsexx -> RE: Causing offense. (7/8/2008 7:29:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist By not being an exhibitionist. You can get away with a lot more in stealth mode, than by acting like a blatantly retarded drama whore. Prin. creator of: YAWTYO otherwise keeping her mouth shut

Mercnbeth -> RE: Causing offense. (7/8/2008 7:37:03 PM)
quote: It is socially acceptable to go topless on a beach. not at the beaches in the Santa Monica Bay, which are the closest proximity to where this slave lives. she would be left alone by law enforcement, strolling along Venice Beach, wearing a collar and leash, but would be *immediately* reprimanded for exposing female nipples in the same location. after all, it is outside of the context of a "gentleman's club" or porn flick where someone else is receiving the majority of the $$$ to view female nipples in exchange for the unfortunate disadvantage of those female nipples "causing offense" and being "illegal" to display in public. quote: ...Can we change it? sure we can, but only by exposure to rational education...not by pretending it is some dirty disgusting thing that belongs hiding in a closet, or behind closed bedroom doors, "safely" away from the wee ones, so as not to "cause offense". quote: Flaunting a collar and leash in public though probably isnt the way to get the change we would like. this slave would be no more "flaunting" a collar and/or leash by wearing it in public than the vanilla's that "flaunt" their promise/engagement/wedding rings by wearing them in public.

kyraofMists -> RE: Causing offense. (7/8/2008 7:48:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation My question is where do we draw the line in public? What is appropriate and inappropriate behaviour in public? With so many different kinds of people out there and so many things that can and do cause offence to others, how do we balance living true to our relationships and not offending others? Where I draw the line is not based on whether I think I will offend a stranger in public. My determination is based on the likelihood of drawing negative/unwanted attention to myself and my family and if not behaving in a particular manner would be an instance where I was not being true to my inner-self or be disobedient to my Lord. As an example, the three of us do most things together and are physically affectionate with each other. We will often walk down the street with him holding both of our hands. Walking down the street where we currently live, we would not engage in this behavior. It is a small town and we do not want to bring negative attention to our family. We are not worried about offending others, but about the consequences the behavior will have on us. When we are in another city, we behave differently. It has been our experience that many people do not even pay attention to people around them. Outside of the city that we now live, I have called him "my Lord" in public and engaged in all the standard protocols of our house without others paying any attention to us. He has even playfully smacked me on the ass several times in the middle of West Edmonton Mall and no one took notice and if they did, all they saw was someone laughing and smiling. Knight's Kyra

Daddysredhead -> RE: Causing offense. (7/8/2008 7:49:14 PM)
One time, Daddy made a point in a very direct way (no hitting me or anything) by grabbing my hand/sleeve and taking me out of a "regular" club that was having an alternative lifestyles night at the bar/restaurant there. He was very stern about it, but didn't hurt me, just wanted me to come with Him right then, no questions. At the time, I thought He was a little over the top because I never heard Him (above the music) say He wanted to leave. He was irked, had the start of a migraine, and wanted to go home. He got me out without harming me, but even the so-called other "kinky" people took offense at Him taking me by the hand and leading me to the car, without letting me say my goodbyes to everyone. One gal, who knew our dynamic, got pissed that He didn't let me stay to finish a dance with her, so she called the cops. They did not arrive while we were there, but they called my phone later and asked me if I had been kidnapped. (no joke) I said, "No." They asked if I knew where Daddy was and I said, "Right here next to me, wanna talk to Him?" They said, "Are you ok, under duress, in harm's way?" I laughed and said, "Um, none of the above, but you interrupted us having sex and I will be under duress if I can't "get mine."" The officer laughed and said, "Oh, well, um, carry on" and hung up. When I asked my so-called friend why she called the cops, she said that she didn't believe that women should obey men, and wanted to make a point when I complied with Daddy's desire to leave the club. (I no longer talk to her, and haven't for a few years, and she got into some trouble for calling in a false report.) Now, we make a point of checking in with each other when we are at a noisy place and set a time to leave so we don't have to "offend" anyone by having me being taken out by the hand. I also watch for "that look" [sm=m23.gif] because I know that means, "just wait till we get home." [:o] (Thank God I almost never get that look.)

ownedgirlie -> RE: Causing offense. (7/8/2008 7:53:01 PM)
DRH - - WOW. With friends like that.....[8\|]

Daddysredhead -> RE: Causing offense. (7/8/2008 8:04:57 PM)
OG, you are not even kidding... [sm=sigh.gif]

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Causing offense. (7/8/2008 8:57:32 PM)
Now why would that offend any one, it's very innocent. Course some people are so tightly strung anything would be offensive, but come on. quote: ORIGINAL: Patrick2005 I have accidentally offended people in public by asking Master for permission to sit (in a restaruant) and by asking permission to leave his presence to look at something (in a store). In both cases, I didn't worry about it, because I felt the people who were offended were sanctimonious pricks.

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