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RE: can a sub/slave serve with bipolar disorder? - 7/11/2008 8:21:07 PM

curiousbrat

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/11/2006
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Ok I have been watching this thread long enough!
I am a submissive and I am also very bi polar however I am not on any meds. I am very environmentally effected and although I have more manic highs then I do depressive lows being a submissive actually helps a great deal with my bi polar. I started out as a Discipline Sub which is where I wanted to be that was all I wanted. I felt I needed the discipline in my life cause with part of my bi polar comes compulsive behavior and a I do not give a shit attitude. We discovered that even if I didnt give a shit about anything else a real good spanking with a belt or strap would change that attitude. I found using leather items are more safe then paddles though due to the fact of a non submissive attitude a lot of times will not stay in position. Moving with a paddle swinging can cause harm. Over time I have become a submissive I was not looking for this change it just happened. Being a submissive also helps keep me centered. Still to this day the only person I am submissive to is my Dom. We are going on 3 yrs now and we have decided that it is now time for me to advance in the lifestyle. I know where the lifestyle has taken me from and the change it has made in my life.
So YES you can be a bi polar submissive. You just need stronger boundaries and lots of reinforcement and consistency. With the right person the lifestyle CAN overcome the bi polar side.

(in reply to Blessedmistress)

Post #: 61

RE: can a sub/slave serve with bipolar disorder? - 7/11/2008 9:20:34 PM

sirslilpetmissy

Posts: 2
Joined: 7/10/2008
Status: offline

Bipolar is a a medical and mental condition. yes some is the result of past and present issues which cognitive therapy sometimes helps but not always. medically bipolar is a chemical imbalance in the brain. sometimes this is caused by issues as it can be brought on and/or become worse by stressors. some people can take medication some can't. but medication is not a cure all and even therapy is not a cure all. you will always have bipolar but it can be controlled with behavior management even if it is bdsm, caring people and anything else that will help you to impvove your life., especially this never give up even if things look the worst and do the positive things stated in the thread. and you can understand the disorder and not have it. some of us have people we love with it and see them in good and bad times. missy

(in reply to curiousbrat)

Post #: 62

RE: can a sub/slave serve with bipolar disorder? - 7/11/2008 9:57:02 PM

variation30

Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Variation:

Your post is too condescending for me to have interest in replying to further. You have presented no sources or personal credentials for the conclusions you have dictated, other than personal opinion. You are now arguing the definitions by The Biology Online Science Dictionary and NAMI. Enjoy yourself.

I've always been of the opinion that reason is more valuable than credentials or citations (effectively saying - "look, so and so said this it must have validity!!!") and I have little use for flaunting either. though if you want an 'authority figure' to say the exact same thing as I am saying (which makes it magically more impressive), read some of Thomas Szasz's books.

Enjoy yourself.

_____________________________

all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 63

RE: can a sub/slave serve with bipolar disorder? - 7/11/2008 10:06:06 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

There are more than one type of bipolar. Some of it can be behavioral. It can also be from chemical imbalances... whic is a mental DISEASE. Try and tell me it isnt. I have it.

it isn't a disease. that's not what diseases are. just because you can affect a variable (like mood) with a pill does not mean the original mood is abnormal, it just means it can be manipulated.

1.a disordered or incorrectly functioning organ, part, structure, or system of the body resulting from the effect of genetic or developmental errors, infection, poisons, nutritional deficiency or imbalance, toxicity, or unfavorable environmental factors; illness; sickness; ailment.

2.any harmful, depraved, or morbid condition, as of the mind or society.
You want a definition of a disease, there you go. A disease is anyting that affects normal function. I am nott medicated, though it is amusing that you assume (since you know all there is to know about being bipolar after all) that I must be. A Bipolar disorder is a disease that affects how my body functions and reacts to stimuli. The result is how emotions are registered and how certain chemicals are released into my body in response to these stimuli. I do not use it as acrutch or an excuse, but I would be an idiot to believe that it is not a REAL problem that needs to be monitored and tracked to make sure it doesnt get out of control. If someone told you they had a chemical imbalance that caused the different neurons in their brain to fire at random intervals, therefore upsetting their balance and ailities to function normally, you would never question that that is a disease they are living with however they cope.
Well, guess what. THAT is what bipoler disorcer is. In my case, I was temporarily placed on anti-convulsives to control the bipolar disorcer. I did not have a mood issue, I had little seizures in my brain that were throwing off the chemical balances and CAUSING mood issues. Next time you do your homework, ask me for some reading material. I have tons of it, I have been living with this DISEASE since I was a teenager.

DV

Dont bother replying, you have been dismissed as wanting since you know more than anyone else can on an issue you have never had to deal with. Quite honestly, you arent worth the time it would take to educate you properly, and I just feel bad for the poor submissives who might have to try and take a hand in that themselves.

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to variation30)

Post #: 64

RE: can a sub/slave serve with bipolar disorder? - 7/11/2008 10:11:27 PM

OnlyMels

Posts: 115
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline

I have depression and with our kids running around it can get to the point of suicide I have never been diagnosed so I don't take any meds as of yet and if I didn't have daddy's shoulder to cry on I have no idea where I would be or who I would be. He's the only one I have to lean on my parents usally just make it worse or even bring crying spells on. It can affect my submission to him though if I'm having a bad day i go into a fuck everything mode. But he talk with me and usually after 20 mins I'm back to normal.

_____________________________

Low riders are for little boys who can't get it up.

Saw it, wanted it, threw a fit, Got It!!

Want to get laid? Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 65

RE: can a sub/slave serve with bipolar disorder? - 7/11/2008 10:11:59 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
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You'll always be getting people who'll tell you, you aren't submissive because .......... What you need to do, is ignore those people who tell you, that you're not submissive or you can't be, and be secure in your knowledge of yourself and that you are indeed submissive, and they're opinion don't mean squatt.

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelwithhonor

...i know this has been somewhat discussed here. but i just wanted to see the view agian. i have seen some discussion on depression and bipolar disorders. i have bipolar, and i do alot to keep it in check. you have ups and downs, but i really try. well anyways i had a Dom last nite ask me somethin. "how can you be a submissive if you have bipolar?" my submission comes deep with in me. even though my moods come up and down. i still know my place. i know who i am proudly and i know that the disorder to is part of me also. i dont have a Dom at the moment. but i think that its not the question of bipolar would keep me from submitting to Him. His guidence to me would lead me back in mind set if i strayed. " with His hands that lead, she shall follow!" that is my thoughts. any thoughts on this subject. may i ask what you all think? thank you and peace

(in reply to angelwithhonor)

Post #: 66

RE: can a sub/slave serve with bipolar disorder? - 7/11/2008 10:28:07 PM

variation30

Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline

" 2.any harmful, depraved, or morbid condition, as of the mind or society."

I've heard this as well...and it's a terrifying defitition as it leads to health (mental and otherwise) being subjective upon the society. it does not take a lot of imagination, especially here, to see how that can be bad.

_____________________________

all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 67

RE: can a sub/slave serve with bipolar disorder? - 7/12/2008 8:44:06 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelwithhonor

i faithfully take my meds,

Then you're not bipolar. you're a sub who takes meds.

I don't think I could handle a bipolar. But someone who takes meds - sure, why not?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to angelwithhonor)

Post #: 68

RE: can a sub/slave serve with bipolar disorder? - 7/12/2008 9:06:40 AM

angelic

Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelwithhonor

i faithfully take my meds,

Then you're not bipolar. you're a sub who takes meds.

I don't think I could handle a bipolar. But someone who takes meds - sure, why not?

Actually isn't it more correct that she is a sub who controls her bipolar condition with medication? I do not know a great deal about the bipolar condition. However, the few folks I have known in my life who have been diagnosed with biplar are bipolar even though it is controlled with medication. The medication does not cure the condition, it just makes the symptoms manageable.

However, I am not an authority, so I absolutely could be wrong.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 69

RE: can a sub/slave serve with bipolar disorder? - 7/12/2008 12:45:19 PM

dosomethingtome

Posts: 14
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

Do you have bipolar with psychotic features? Interested in knowing exactly what the diagnosis is because that would make a difference to me.

(in reply to angelwithhonor)

Post #: 70

RE: can a sub/slave serve with bipolar disorder? - 7/12/2008 1:40:36 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
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~FR~

quote:

can a sub / slave serve with bipolar disorder?

There are those that can and those that can't.
There are those that should and those that shouldn't.

Just my opinion / experience.

_____________________________

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If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to angelwithhonor)

Post #: 71

RE: can a sub/slave serve with bipolar disorder? - 3/6/2009 9:30:27 PM

CountrySong

Posts: 554
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline

Yes you can be a great sub!
However: a lot depends on how you cycle, a lot depends on how you manage your illness, and you need to find the right master. I have about the mildest form of bipolar you can have and it is easily controlled with food, exercise, mental exercise, control of my enviroment, and supplements. However, my EX had major rapid cycling bipolar and while she was submisive it was an intense and drama filled relationship and it lead to my first major episode in over 20 years including an episode of mix state for me. (Only the second time in my life that I actually was serious about suicide.)
You should know you and you know how you are on and off meds. You should know what your triggers are - enviroment, food, etc. For example, my EX and a freind that whenever they hung out together she would end up highly manic and then crash into a suicidal level. You have to have a Dom/Domme who can and will respect those and help you manage those. You will also have to be with a Dom who can give you the time and attention you need.
You also need to know that you have only about a 20% chance of maintaining a long term relationship based on clinical stats. I certainly thought I could handle it but in the end she went manic and decided she was in love with someone else.
My guess is that the Dom who said that to you had dealt with someone who was bipolar and cycling. Someone who expects obedience at all times probably believes that bipolar people can not be great subs. They can not handle the drama and the cycling. Even with the meds my EX cycled big time. When she was depressed she could not handle her duties. When she was manic one minute she might be in fairy world and the next she might be trying to stab me. In between, she was awesome and the hypersexuality was great.
BTW - about 40% of the women I have met on here have bipolar disorder. They do not say it on their profiles but it comes out later. So you have lots of subby company.

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 72

RE: can a sub/slave serve with bipolar disorder? - 3/6/2009 9:57:49 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

I couldn't have a relationship with anyone who is bipolar--submissive or otherwise.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 73

RE: can a sub/slave serve with bipolar disorder? - 3/7/2009 4:45:06 AM

VanessaChaland

Posts: 362
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline

Angel,

This is near and dear to my heart, so do please listen,,,, please.

Many people have given opinions and some have given good advice, others not so much, but I do believe they were well intended.

The problem with your question is that it brings out the pedants, the anal semantics, those who have read a book or two and understand things in "theory" and those that mention things like the DSM which is a book full of bullshit. The last time I glanced at it (and yes it has been some time, as it is a waste of time) it had things like being gay and kinky as being "aberrant, dangerous, socially unacceptable, deviant" and so forth. This is all predicated on the clinical notion that there is such a thing as "normal" in society, human beings and the human mind.

As you no doubt know, there are two types of bi-polar and one that suffers from this, could also have afflictions of various other mental issues which would create 1000s of "sub-types" of behaviors, thoughts, patterns, interactions with others and reactions to situations, meds, shrinks etc. Most "pros" in the mental health field are sadly in it for the money. They often charge $200 an hour, for a 15 minute visit (or less) and will ask *you* the person with the problem, to diagnose how you are doing, as if depending on the day, the time, your own individual cycles you would be able to determine this accurately. They suck.

Only you can decide what is best and/or right for you. But the most important thing to do is to keep yourself as healthy as possible. Try to keep control on any drugs or alcohol you ingest, eat clean, sleep (if you can), exercise and try to stay positive. If you are on meds, take them, if they are causing problems, never give up in searching for a new shrink that is open minded and that will hopefully be willing to try new meds, various mixtures of same and will actually listen to you and should you be lucky enough to have someone to accompany you to your visits with them.

Lastly, have a look at this please : http://www.pendulum.org/information/information_famous.html or run searches for the same type of articles. Interestingly enough, it would seem that about half of all the geniuses, composers, authors and other creative people throughout history had bi-polar. I only mention this (as you well know) society often tries to make those that have this seem like freaks, morons, retarded, idiots, asshole and whatever. Its nothing new, it was not your choice, you had no say in it.

The upside? Hyper-sexuality. :)

Believe me, I know.

My main point here is that you are worthy, you do not need validation from anyone else. Don't ever, ever sell yourself short.

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelwithhonor

...i know this has been somewhat discussed here. but i just wanted to see the view agian. i have seen some discussion on depression and bipolar disorders. i have bipolar, and i do alot to keep it in check. you have ups and downs, but i really try. well anyways i had a Dom last nite ask me somethin. "how can you be a submissive if you have bipolar?" my submission comes deep with in me. even though my moods come up and down. i still know my place. i know who i am proudly and i know that the disorder to is part of me also. i dont have a Dom at the moment. but i think that its not the question of bipolar would keep me from submitting to Him. His guidence to me would lead me back in mind set if i strayed. " with His hands that lead, she shall follow!" that is my thoughts. any thoughts on this subject. may i ask what you all think? thank you and peace

< Message edited by VanessaChaland -- 3/7/2009 5:16:39 AM >

(in reply to angelwithhonor)

Post #: 74

RE: can a sub/slave serve with bipolar disorder? - 3/7/2009 6:09:41 AM

feydeplume

Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelwithhonor

...i know this has been somewhat discussed here. but i just wanted to see the view agian. i have seen some discussion on depression and bipolar disorders. i have bipolar, and i do alot to keep it in check. you have ups and downs, but i really try. well anyways i had a Dom last nite ask me somethin. "how can you be a submissive if you have bipolar?" my submission comes deep with in me. even though my moods come up and down. i still know my place. i know who i am proudly and i know that the disorder to is part of me also. i dont have a Dom at the moment. but i think that its not the question of bipolar would keep me from submitting to Him. His guidence to me would lead me back in mind set if i strayed. " with His hands that lead, she shall follow!" that is my thoughts. any thoughts on this subject. may i ask what you all think? thank you and peace

I know some people think of a mental illness or physical chronic illness as a sort of Master to the person since the person must always think about how it will effect the day and some T/D/M's are not interested in sharing the s's focus. There is a slight correlation that i have noticed through the years between this sort of T/D/M and some rather particular behaviors on their part like cutting all contact with the s's family and friends (or making it such a burden that the s gives up trying after awhile), not allowing the s to work or volunteer outside of the home, create barriers to having religion in the s's life and other forms of isolation. They also create barriers to education or personal growth, even when pretending to support the idea and tend to lean very heavily on humiliation, re-conquering the s again and again, and rigid but randomly enforced rules.

I am not saying ALL here, just that i have noticed a pattern over time that some T/D/M fall into this catagory and how a prospective T/D/M reacts to knowing an s has some mental issue(s) potentially tells a lot about how they are going to be in a relationship.

But to the question of can you be submissive and bi-polar... why not you can be just about everything else. Ok maybe not an astronaunt, but you can be preseident.

_____________________________

Wait! Are those my pants?
If it has testicle or tires, it's gonna give you the fidgets.
Pretend I said something witty and laugh.

(in reply to angelwithhonor)

Post #: 75

RE: can a sub/slave serve with bipolar disorder? - 3/7/2009 8:24:56 AM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30

quote:

ORIGINAL: smilingjaguar

quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30
first off, bipolar isn't something you 'have' like chicken pox. it is a behavior (granted, it's oftentimes a maladaptive behavior), not a disease.

You need to do your homework because you're contradicting quite a bit of the research that I've read.

Being an asshole is a behavior issue. Bipolar is a serious mental illness.

I've done my 'homework'.

If I may suggest, Variation30, that you go out, buy the most recent copy of the DSM (I believe that would be the IV-R) for about $60 and read it. Every diagnosis has very specific criteria. If a person does not meet the criteria, the diagnosis is not (Or at least should not) be made. Personally, I can 'feel' certain disorders in someone before a person even opens their mouth. Telling you I have a really good 'Spidey sense' isn't going to hold water with your desire to corral everything into matters medical and testable via bloodwork, MRI, etc., nor will my assertion that as a clinician, it's usually not rocket science or in any way a quandry to make a diagnosis. Bear in mind that, for hundreds of years, we didn't have the capabilities we do now and people still knew that issues were issues.

Angelwithhonor----
Bipolar is a broad-ranging, complex issue. I am not sure which sort you have or its pervasiveness in your life. Medication, with this diagnosis particularly, is often quite important along with counseling. It's tough for a lot of people with bipolar not to go off of their meds because if substantial 'highs' are a part of their presentation, they often want to chase them (And having heard what it feels like, I can uderstand that...the problem being when the highs get risky or psychotic as well as the crashing, crushing "lows").
Do I think that makes you unable to be a submissive. No, of course not. If you have bipolar, it's a part of you. It's not going anywhere. If being submissive is a part of you, it's not going anywhere either. Now, can the two traits peacefully co-exist. Sure. Potentially. If a person partners with another, presumably, hopefully, they've taken their totality into consideration and have weighed some sort of cost/benefit analysis. We all have things that would fall into the 'costs' column. And, you know, sometimes things aren't mutually exclusive to onecolumn or another. Honesty and pragmatism along with dedication to yourself and your relationships, I think, will go a long way.
Best wishes,
Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to variation30)

Post #: 76

RE: can a sub/slave serve with bipolar disorder? - 3/7/2009 9:36:58 AM

LeatherBentOne

Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: smilingjaguar

quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30
first off, bipolar isn't something you 'have' like chicken pox. it is a behavior (granted, it's oftentimes a maladaptive behavior), not a disease.

You need to do your homework because you're contradicting quite a bit of the research that I've read.

Being an asshole is a behavior issue. Bipolar is a serious mental illness.

Thanx for making this statement. I hate to see people misinformed. Doing research is laudible, but that depends on reliable sources that can be validated before on can claim they are the "end all" authority on any mental illness.

By the way, a behavior is an action that is precipatated by the organic function of the brain. If the brain is chemically imbalanced it must be corrected with medication to "help" modify behavior. Behavioral modification without medication would treat a sub/salve like Pavlov treated his salivating dogs when they heard the bell ring. "Successive Approximations" don't work when it comes to mental illness.

(in reply to smilingjaguar)

Post #: 77

RE: can a sub/slave serve with bipolar disorder? - 3/7/2009 10:43:23 AM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
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quote:

there are no case studies validated of any mental 'illnesses' listed in the dsm-iv. there are no objective tests for these mental 'illnesses'.

while real diseases are found in cadavers or through objective tests, the contents of the dsm-iv are 'discovered' when the diagnostics statistical committee of the APA convenes every so often and they *vote* on what behaviors they think are abberrant. this far from scientific method is not medicine and should not be thought of as such.
there are no chemically balanced models of the human brain. all they can show is that certain variables can be modified through certain medications in some people some of the time.

So I suppose you believe that Cerebral Palsy, Huntington’s, Parkinson’s, seizure disorder, Alzheimer’s, are not brain diseases? If you do accept the biological base for these brain diseases, but not for bi-polar, schizophrenia, depression, etc. how do you explain that there are more than a few symptoms that are the same for both?

quote:

in the end, medication to alter your mood is not a cure

Chronic illness such as high blood pressure, diabetes, etc, are not cured with medications, either. But the symptoms are controlled and the quality of life is improved. If bi-polar illness was not biologically based, medications would not affect the symptoms.
Too bad there isn’t a pill for ignorance.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to variation30)

Post #: 78

RE: can a sub/slave serve with bipolar disorder? - 3/7/2009 11:42:33 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Variation, you are totally wrong. In my daughter's case, it is a genetic disorder. I am fourth generation mood disorder, she is fifth. Various of us across the family tree have all kinds of mood disorders.

To the op: Obviously the dom you were chatting to is not someone you could submit to. Beyond that, the answer is - it depends. If you are stable, undergoing treatment, on medications that help you, and aware of what else you need to do in order to stay stable then why on earth couldn't you submit to someone who was knowledgable or willing to become so on your illness.

I suffer from anxiety and I can submit. Usually I am stable, in situations where I will become less able to function, that's where he takes over. But it isn't a problem to him to have to put me to bed if I'm too tired to control myself, or simply tell me to sit quietly while he handles things. So find someone compatible and there will be no problem. There are times in any relationship when the people need to have their partner take control including times when dominants are too stressed or sick to function and need their subs to order them to bed while the sub makes the decision. So if this reversal of role is perfectly normal, then why wouldn't a dominant taking more control to help the sub function better be a sensible thing to do?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 79

RE: can a sub/slave serve with bipolar disorder? - 3/7/2009 11:50:51 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I don't think it makes you any less of a good person or that you're looking down your nose at someone, to not want a submissive, * or dom if you're the sub*n with a mental illness.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyrrsefanie

but good people who don't look down their nose at others for it are out there, they do exist, and they are absolute godsends.

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)

Post #: 80

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