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I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 3:49:49 AM   
LushLadyLilith


Posts: 26
Joined: 5/24/2008
Status: offline 		I am developing a list of interview questions for people involved in all variations of the BDSM lifestyle, and I would like to find out what people on this site would like to have known about the lifestyle either before or as they were beginning to participate in it.

Lilith
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RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 4:05:55 AM   
shivermetimbers


Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		I wish I had known :
That, no matter how perfect people are in play with each other, the vast amount of time doesn't include play. 

People engaging in BDSM don't agree on everything.

A BDSM relationship needs work like any other, it isn't just simply D meets s and all is happy.







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I love you Deanna, you make every day a better day.

If we descended from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ3CJi0Ih9s&feature=player_embedded

http://www.thebuccozone.com/piratesong.htm

(in reply to LushLadyLilith)
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RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 4:22:29 AM   
naturalsin


Posts: 92
Joined: 6/24/2008
Status: offline 		i wish i had known that there is just no pleasing some people!

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sinful

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RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 5:17:00 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LushLadyLilith

I am developing a list of interview questions for people involved in all variations of the BDSM lifestyle, and I would like to find out what people on this site would like to have known about the lifestyle either before or as they were beginning to participate in it.

Lilith

Nothing. I perfer the unknown and the thrill that comes with discovery.


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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 5:30:40 AM   
SummerWind


Posts: 314
Joined: 7/4/2007
Status: offline 		....about the lifestyle when I was 18.....unfortunately no internet at the time.....we didn't even have cable TV.....

(in reply to LushLadyLilith)
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RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 5:34:53 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SummerWind

....about the lifestyle when I was 18.....unfortunately no internet at the time.....we didn't even have cable TV.....


Ditto...but we had cable.

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RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 5:39:51 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		I wish that I had known that a person can't really bury who they really are, and that trying to do so only ends up hurting themselves and those around them.

As a few have said if I had known that it was all real, that this world existed then ohboy I wouldn't have wasted so much time.
My only information came from creepy paperbacks sold in airports. I had no cable, the internet was an infant etc.

It wouldn't have taken so much of my life trying to pretend I'm like 'everyone else' when in reality I could have been with someone who understood and exploited (in a good way) my deep need for a dominant partner.

I don't dwell on it but damn I wasted so much time.


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~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




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RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 6:22:41 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LushLadyLilith

I am developing a list of interview questions for people involved in all variations of the BDSM lifestyle, and I would like to find out what people on this site would like to have known about the lifestyle either before or as they were beginning to participate in it.

Lilith


Absolutely nothing.  How boring would that be?
I do, however, maintain that there are five things that everyone should know regardless of whether they are BDSM or not.
 
  • Expectations exist.
  • Judgements will occur.
  • Each relationship is different.
  • People like to steal the ideas of others and manipulate them into their own.
  • That tin on the shelf labelled 'baked beans' may be baked beans, but that doesn't mean they will suit your tastebuds.

 
Please feel free to exercise all of the above.
 
the.dark.

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RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to LushLadyLilith)
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RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 7:23:32 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I wish I would have understood that as lofty as the goals of trust and truly good communication are that it did not mean that everyone in the lifestyle would be open minded or even necessarily kind.  I was wrong in expecting a kind of Utopia - a mistake that I think many newbies make.  People are still people; some are wonderful and warm and understanding, others have prejudices, pet peeves, are shallow, and care more about their own opinion that anyone else - just like with any other group in the world.  

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RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 7:27:42 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings lushladylilith,

i wish that i had known that no matter how realistic and unromanticized i thought my view of slavery was, i couldn't have imagined some of the things i would think, feel, see, or do.

a'ishah.


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a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to LushLadyLilith)
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RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 9:57:54 AM   
Maxwell67


Posts: 435
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		I wish I had known:

Some people who claim to be slaves are in truth simply suffering from such low self esteem they think that is their only option.

No matter how open minded you are, if there is no chemistry, people will notice, and you will end up feeling like a bigot anyway.

< Message edited by Maxwell67 -- 7/11/2008 9:58:22 AM >

(in reply to hisannabelle)
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RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 10:18:29 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

I Wish That I Had Known...


No more, or less, than I did then or do now.

I had too much fun learning and experiencing things without prejudice. I learned too much, and became stronger, from making mistakes.

Still alive, and very happy; looking forward to tomorrow when I'll know more than I do today, with another day's worth of experience.  

(in reply to LushLadyLilith)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 10:53:35 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		What kind of adventure would life be if you knew waht to expect at every turn?  I know I know the concept sounds crazy.

BadOne

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The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

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RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 11:20:24 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		Things I wish I had known coming into this lifestyle so young.

1) No one agrees on anything but everyone searches for a Definition that again no one will agree on.
2) That I would spend a lot of time determining if I really wanted what I wanted.
3) That everything I "Know" will account of Nothing at some point in time
4) That some people only SAY they want something when in reality they just want the Idea of it.
5) That Cat's and Fire Play are BAD combinations, and it is hard to put out a fire that is moving.
6) That eventually everything comes into question when you want something bad enough
7) That Fantasies and Realities are Strange Bed Fellows
8) Cops don't care what SSC and RACK mean nor does it matter anyway.
9) Cheap Toys lead to emergency room visits
10) Some very expensive lube has Peanut oil in it and you should ask if someone has algeries before play
11) Safewords are worthless if she can't talk or remember what it was
12) ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS have a handcuff key on your car keys
13) Some people are just Assholes and even Assholes can be admired by people you respect.
14) Never ask for advice from someone you havent seen do what you are asking advice about lots of people talk out thier asses.
15) Just because a girl says she likes something doesn't means she likes the way YOU do somthing, take it slow at first.
16) ANATOMY. Just get a first year college anatomy text book and start reading you will be glad you did.
17) First Impressions can last a LONG time and reach people you haven't met yet. Don't be a Douchebag
18) When it comes to terms try not to assume you understand it till you have talked to alot of people, oddly enough people do things differently a LOT of the time.
19) Toy Bags and X-Ray Scanners at the Airport can lead to a cavity searches because of the ammount of condoms you have you appear to be a Heroin Smuggler. (Horror story may be an urban Myth I don't take chances but I did have my Handcuffs Confiscated by the TWA)
20) This is supposed to be Fun, if it isn't you should see what you're doing wrong.

Steel

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Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

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RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 12:18:23 PM   
masterforRT


Posts: 176
Joined: 5/16/2008
Status: offline 		That too many people say they want one thing, yet really want another.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 12:49:46 PM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline 		i wish i'd known there was a name for what my fantasies had been all my life and that there were others like me out there alot earlier!  like 20 yrs earlier.  then again, the life i've led has brought me to this point, and i'm happy with cub.  he's my other half.
PM

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That which does not kill me, better run pretty damn fast

I miss my ex, but my aim is improving!




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RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 12:56:05 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		i wish that i had known most men enjoy using BDSM as a way to have sex with women. i have met more men (mostly marrieds) who used "do you enjoy being dominated in the bedroom" as a pick up line.



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...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

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RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 1:30:37 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		I wish i had known the Hubby was interested before going outside my marriage.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to LushLadyLilith)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 1:34:06 PM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline 		i wish i had known that it was better to accept myself and my kinks no matter the root cause behind such things, than to continually fight and deny who i was and what truly fulfilled me.

i wish i had known it was okay to embrace myself  kinks, quirks and all.

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to LushLadyLilith)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 2:01:30 PM   
MistressSybella


Posts: 163
Joined: 9/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

5) That Cat's and Fire Play are BAD combinations, and it is hard to put out a fire that is moving.

Steel


Funny!! :)


_____________________________

Miss 'Bella

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 20
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