how to fine your perfect sub

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

how to fine your perfect sub

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> how to fine your perfect sub

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

how to fine your perfect sub - 7/12/2008 6:16:19 AM

devilmaster01

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/12/2008
Status: offline

Hi all,

Im new to being a master and on a few diffrent sites related to master and subs, but im finding it hard to find a slave to obey me and be loyal to me.

Was wondering how did you find your slave and is she/he loyal and obey u at all times?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: how to fine your perfect sub - 7/12/2008 6:31:36 AM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

Maybe the problem is not the subs and slaves but you having the whole concept of C/s , M/s backwards

loyality and obedience is not something forced and demanded ....it is something you have to create through inspiration which then creates the desire to serve

and if you are expecting perfection ..remember we are humans so mistakes will occur and also their failure could be due to a mistake of your part for not handling a situation properly or you failed to instill and inspire

ever raised a dog from a puppy? Dogs tend to be more loyal than people but even they will fail at times due to outside distraction, they make not be feeling well, inconsistent training by the owner or simply they are having an off day ...there is no such thing as perfect

< Message edited by Maya2001 -- 7/12/2008 6:34:49 AM >

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to devilmaster01)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: how to fine your perfect sub - 7/12/2008 6:44:58 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Was wondering how did you find your slave and is she/he loyal and obey u at all times?

Provide an environment in which she wants to be loyal and obey, keeping in mind that different things work for different people. And also remember that she has wants/needs, it's not all about you.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to devilmaster01)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: how to fine your perfect sub - 7/12/2008 6:48:03 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

First off, my kudos for being open and honest about your level of experience.

That said, you are not a Master. A Master is someone who has experience and is looked upon in the local BDSM community as an authority. In addition, he or she should command respect by their actions. I have some six years of experience as a Dom and would never consider myself a Master. Being a Dom is a matter of attitude and mindset IMO, and it sounds like you are a Dom.

After reading your profile, I have some comments:

1. Traditional D/s erotica always has a Master who owns a huge amount of real estate, dresses impeccably, and is in control of all situations. While that's a pile of hooey for the most part, it does indicate that a Dom or Master be a person of accomplishments. So what impression is made on a potential slave/sub when they see your spelling and grammatical errors? Any sub who values themselves will shy away from giving total control of themselves to someone who is sloppy and careless.

2. I suggest you change the focus of your profile from "I want someone to obey me" to "I'm looking for someone to grow and learn with".

3. Why is it that you seek online only? A slave has a deep drive to serve, and it cannot be slaked well by an online relationship. Plus, online only hints that you may be married, and your time is certainly bound to be limited.

That said, welcome to the wonderful world of D/s.

< Message edited by DarkSteven -- 7/12/2008 6:49:17 AM >

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Maya2001)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: how to fine your perfect sub - 7/12/2008 6:53:34 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

If you are looking for online only, then you are going to be amazingly lucky to find someone who is loyal and obeys for even a short period of time, much less a permanent fixture. Most of us that have good loyal slaves have them in real life. Those who wish to serve are very infrequently happy with limiting things permanently to online, without a chance of realtime interaction. You have to work owards loyalty and obedience. No one has those at the very beginning, because until someone knows you they do not know if they want to be loyal and obedient to you. You have to be able to command obedience, you may have to prove yourself capable of being in control before someone is going to hand themseves over to you.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: how to fine your perfect sub - 7/12/2008 6:56:56 AM

lronitulstahp

Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

$50.00 for willful disobedience
$25.00 for listing cock sucking as a hard limit.....i'm so confused! If she's a perfect sub...what possible fine-worthy infractions could she commit?

~almost perfect sub

edited to add:
btw OP, on a serious note....perfect subs don't exist....through training and experience you may forge a nearly perfect relationship. But if you pick up a sub who already claims to be perfect...

< Message edited by lronitulstahp -- 7/12/2008 6:59:51 AM >

_____________________________

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: how to fine your perfect sub - 7/12/2008 7:04:46 AM

Aynne

Posts: 740
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline

So what impression is made on a potential slave/sub when they see your spelling and grammatical errors? Any sub who values themselves will shy away from giving total control of themselves to someone who is sloppy and careless.

^^^^^What Dark Steven said. Seriously, it matters.

_____________________________

*Yes I know I have no profile at this time...

I looked in your eyes
Without saying a word
I told you what I am
And I hoped that you heard

~Owned and Loved by Master Sifu~

*founder of I Love Lushy Inc.*

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: how to fine your perfect sub - 7/12/2008 7:19:30 AM

devilmaster01

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/12/2008
Status: offline

thank you for all ur reply's, yes my spelling is not up to much because i am dislexic, so i find it hard on how to spell and some times say stuff that i know is correct in my head but comes out crap and horrible, this is not my excusie for my bad spelling its a part of who i am..

im going to take all the good and the bads from these repleys and hopefully they will make me undersatnd about the dom / sub world more

as for online only no im not married but i live with my parents so a live in sub would be hard when i only get a few hrs to my self each day

thanks you

< Message edited by devilmaster01 -- 7/12/2008 7:22:10 AM >

(in reply to Aynne)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: how to fine your perfect sub - 7/12/2008 8:12:59 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

are you looking for someone to obey and be loyal to you after the 1st message? if so, you're aiming too high. most submissives don't submit blindly to someone they hardly know. it's best that you get to know them ...figure out if you're compatible to her (and vice versa) or not and then take it from there.

and this "perfect" submissive - is that the same as "twue"? there's no such thing as perfect or twue unless it's universally defined and followed in the end-all-be-all BDSM handbook. each of us have our own definition of what being perfect and twue is. again you're aiming too high in your search for that perfection in a potential submissive.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to devilmaster01)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: how to fine your perfect sub - 7/12/2008 10:49:23 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

$50.00 for willful disobedience
$25.00 for listing cock sucking as a hard limit.....i'm so confused! If she's a perfect sub...what possible fine-worthy infractions could she commit?

Get outta my head, tulip!!

quote:

btw OP, on a serious note....perfect subs don't exist....through training and experience you may forge a nearly perfect relationship. But if you pick up a sub who already claims to be perfect...

what she said.

OP.. try this.. type up your profile in Word or something like that.. run the spell check tool,., then put it in your profile.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to lronitulstahp)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: how to fine your perfect sub - 7/12/2008 10:52:21 AM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

quote:

.perfect subs don't exist.

as people? no..but as food...yes...try mr sub, quiznos, subway...lots of perfect subs there.

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to lronitulstahp)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: how to fine your perfect sub - 7/12/2008 11:14:47 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

If you are dyslexic, use Word or Notepad and run spell check before you copy/paste into your profile. And dyslexia does not excuse 'ur' for you're' or 'your'. That's deliberate and kind of silly.

candystripper

(in reply to devilmaster01)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: how to fine your perfect sub - 7/12/2008 12:37:30 PM

PanthersMom

Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline

what does the OP expect, you put in an order form and she's delivered to your door? every relationship is the same. you meet people, decide if the person is possibly compatible and then see where it goes from there. it requires work from both parties, a clear understanding of wants and needs as time passes and a desire to share and grow together. D/s or not, they all work the same, it's just the individuals and what they bring to the table that is different.
PM

_____________________________

That which does not kill me, better run pretty damn fast

I miss my ex, but my aim is improving!

(in reply to variation30)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: how to fine your perfect sub - 7/12/2008 6:02:01 PM

cillydom

Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

smack her with a rolled up newspaper and say " bad subbie,bad subbie" untill she gets it right

(in reply to devilmaster01)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: how to fine your perfect sub - 7/12/2008 6:18:10 PM

Battleflag

Posts: 37
Joined: 7/1/2008
Status: offline

Even friendship is hard to find. And you're expecting *what?

Be patient. Find like minded people locally. Make some friends. Maybe join a few conversations. Of them, invite a few to go out for coffee one on one. Find out what they like and give people a chance to find out about you. Win a few and lose a few in the process.

: )

< Message edited by Battleflag -- 7/12/2008 6:19:01 PM >

_____________________________

"Anyone who hasn’t experienced the ecstasy of betrayal knows nothing about ecstasy at all." ~ Jean Genet

"Even Christ could only get 11 of 12 right." ~ Unknown

"After all these years I'm still haze grey and underway..." ~ Me.

(in reply to devilmaster01)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: how to fine your perfect sub - 7/12/2008 6:36:54 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Always? That's an android out of science fiction, not a person. You are going to make mistakes. You really want her to obey you when your order might cause major consequences? Or do you want someone who will have your back as you should have hers?

You become a person worthy of trust and respect and only then will you get it. That means taking your time to think things through, explaining your thought processes in the beginning so they will judge you as intelligent and knowledgable. Most of all it means you keep your word. You don't promise monogamy and then announce that as you're the dom, you can fuck whoever you want to. Or not showing up when you promised to.

Be somebody worthy of loyalty.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to cillydom)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: how to fine your perfect sub - 7/12/2008 8:51:26 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Would you obey you and be loyal to you at all times? If not, there's work to do. Anything that you do to improve yourself will improve the likelyhood you find what you are looking for. But know, you are looking for ideals...and, I'm betting you haven't really defined what those ideals are beyond loyalty and obedience. Sit and write exactly what it is you want. Then, sit and write what you have to offer. Then do it all again until you're satisfied it reflects what you want right now. Then look for it...and plan for the lists to be changed.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to devilmaster01)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: how to fine your perfect sub - 7/12/2008 8:53:43 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
That said, you are not a Master. A Master is someone who has experience and is looked upon in the local BDSM community as an authority. In addition, he or she should command respect by their actions. I have some six years of experience as a Dom and would never consider myself a Master. Being a Dom is a matter of attitude and mindset IMO, and it sounds like you are a Dom.

While I agree with your advice, I'd hesitate to agree with a sweeping statement such as this. Your view of yourself is your view...and you shouldn't project your percieved lacking on anyone else. He might well be a Master...and you don't see it. He might not. I identified as a Master WAY before I earned the respect of my peers.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: how to fine your perfect sub - 7/12/2008 8:54:20 PM

anguisette22

Posts: 36
Joined: 7/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

$50.00 for willful disobedience
$25.00 for listing cock sucking as a hard limit.....i'm so confused! If she's a perfect sub...what possible fine-worthy infractions could she commit?

~almost perfect sub
edited to add:
btw OP, on a serious note....perfect subs don't exist....through training and experience you may forge a nearly perfect relationship. But if you pick up a sub who already claims to be perfect...

Goddamn it, only one page and already someone steals my perfectly obvious joke response.

(in reply to lronitulstahp)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: how to fine your perfect sub - 7/12/2008 9:07:46 PM

Tantalizing

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/12/2008
Status: offline

quote:

2. I suggest you change the focus of your profile from "I want someone to obey me" to "I'm looking for someone to grow and learn with".

3. Why is it that you seek online only? A slave has a deep drive to serve, and it cannot be slaked well by an online relationship. Plus, online only hints that you may be married, and your time is certainly bound to be limited.

Growth is always possible and it is a welcome sign to see , at least for me it is. As a sub. online is a struggle.. the overwhelming desire to be apart and a source of nurture when the dom is sick, stressed, busy, tired, and well just daily life eats at me and you are left with feeling of inability to truly be a support to him or her, (again in my experiences which are still few) and yes when i see online only i think married or in a committed relationship

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 20