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RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/12/2008 4:57:35 PM   
johntom571


Posts: 63
Joined: 7/17/2006
Status: offline 		ok well thank you for all your honest opinions.  i appreciate your calling shots as you see them, even when you don't necessarily see the whole picture.  my main question was about whether to confront the latest idiot.  upon reflection, it isn't worthwhile :)

JT

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/12/2008 5:58:26 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		They're trolls. Trust me, they'd be questioning her choice of mentor even if it were John Warren. The best thing for her to do is put the writers on block, delete the emails, and never respond. As long as she writes back they think they have a chance. Why? Because she's already engaged with them in conversation. Block and delete is the only thing to do. That and time, as soon as she doesn't show up as a new, or newly changed, profile the emails will fall off.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/12/2008 6:04:39 PM   
cillydom


Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		a dominant can still be an obnoxious jerk

(in reply to johntom571)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/12/2008 7:41:25 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Have her turn off the freaking profile Einstien.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to johntom571)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/12/2008 8:13:54 PM   
gordie452000


Posts: 13
Joined: 4/2/2008
Status: offline 		I haven't been here long, nor do I really post often. I pretty much read and sometimes ask a question. But sometimes the thread hits just too close to home. I have a sub who has this very same problem. She continues to get messages from Doms who just can't take no for an answer. They get abusive at times, and question her "sub"ness or my "dom"ness at others. And that's the nice ones.
Most Dom/Dommes are fine with it and will  even talk civilly (is that even a word?) and chat with her. But those at the fringes are just out there.
And it doesn't matter if you block them. They are replaced by another in due time. You have to continue to block the idiots.

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/12/2008 8:50:32 PM   
mbes


Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline 		I feel so left out. I had one joker who was sure that insulting my other half was a sure way into my pants, it didn't work, and that's it. Now my feelings are hurt.
If someone "continues" to get messages from those who can't take no for an answer, they aren't getting the "no". No answer works. Use it.

(in reply to gordie452000)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/12/2008 10:25:19 PM   
MisterBeast


Posts: 142
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline 		DIG A MOAT AROUND HER PRIOFILE!!!
All it will take I promise. 


_____________________________

"I’ve seen what is coming, I put myself inside his head, I’ve become the thing we fear the most, I’ve become capable of becoming the horror that we know we can become only in our heart of darkness, my gift my curse."

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/12/2008 10:42:12 PM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		With a shiovel?



Edit> Sorry. Had to do it

CD

_____________________________

Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.
Lois McMaster Bujold, "A Civil Campaign", 1999

(in reply to MisterBeast)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/12/2008 10:44:06 PM   
MisterBeast


Posts: 142
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

With a shiovel?



Edit> Sorry. Had to do it

CD


Well you could use a 'chovel but me id use an Escav8r, it would take less time. ;)


_____________________________

"I’ve seen what is coming, I put myself inside his head, I’ve become the thing we fear the most, I’ve become capable of becoming the horror that we know we can become only in our heart of darkness, my gift my curse."

(in reply to CruelDesires)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/13/2008 12:45:17 PM   
johntom571


Posts: 63
Joined: 7/17/2006
Status: offline 		lmao, ok again thank you profusely for the quirky and whimsical answers.  i don't think much about the solution to put her profile private and isolating her from the community.  like i said, she's getting her feet wet, and i'd sooner be dealing with someone who can thread the treacherous waters on her own.  not much point in dominating a dishrag, as i told her.  i suppose the lesson to be learned from this (he who stops learning, starts forgetting) is that assholes will be assholes, and in order to talk to one, you have to get down to his level.  so i guess i'll let her decide what she wants to do, and take it from there.

oh and by the way, thank you to those who didn't think there was anything wrong with my profile.  i already knew that, but it's nice to know i'm not alone in my own fan club ;)

JT

(in reply to MisterBeast)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/13/2008 1:29:47 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		“The only way to win is not to play”
-Wargames

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/13/2008 9:43:50 PM   
brat4fun


Posts: 47
Joined: 4/27/2008
Status: offline 		"Never argue with an idiot... people watching can't tell the difference."
Author Unknown

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/13/2008 10:37:21 PM   
MisterBeast


Posts: 142
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline 		I say build a trebucet and launch kittens at them. 

_____________________________

"I’ve seen what is coming, I put myself inside his head, I’ve become the thing we fear the most, I’ve become capable of becoming the horror that we know we can become only in our heart of darkness, my gift my curse."

(in reply to brat4fun)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/13/2008 10:44:33 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Block, delete, ignore and report to the site admin if they keep making up more profiles to get around those tactics.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to johntom571)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/14/2008 5:10:24 AM   
Duskwolf


Posts: 192
Joined: 2/18/2007
From: Perth, Australia
Status: offline 		I think the thing that we have to be aware of is a number of people claiming to be anything on here, are actually just fakes.
Keeping that in mind, anyone who strikes me as anything but legitimate, I won't have any dealing with.
Hence my rather selective posting, and even more selective c-mailling.
In the end, It's the internet, you don't have to buy into to the scrutiny of anyone who doesn't know you, answer questions (or demands, as they appear) of anyone who would question you so unceremoniously and without prior reason or permission to question, and you have a block button.

(NB: I use the wording "you" in reference to people in general, not just to yourself.)

Dusk.

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/14/2008 6:37:18 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		One way to cut down on the number of emails without hiding or deleting the profile is to simply choose nothing at all under the "actively seeking" choice.  That way she won't show up on a lot of people's search criteria.  Then all she needs to do is apply the delete key as often as necessary.  i don't use the block option because most trolls are attention-seekers and when their emails get no response, they move on without any additional steps.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to johntom571)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/14/2008 7:52:50 PM   
Briena


Posts: 196
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline 		Pfft... Im not fake, Im a six ft tall man with 20 years experience as a Dom... CANT YOU SEE THAT!

(in reply to Duskwolf)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/15/2008 5:06:25 AM   
seababy


Posts: 845
Joined: 6/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

With a shiovel?



Edit> Sorry. Had to do it

CD


Forum post coffee snort when I read this.

(in reply to CruelDesires)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/15/2008 8:25:37 AM   
NeedingMore220


Posts: 615
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: johntom571
like i said, she's getting her feet wet, and i'd sooner be dealing with someone who can thread the treacherous waters on her own.  not much point in dominating a dishrag, as i told her.


I'm sorry, but tread the treacherous waters??  lol  Tell her to 'man up' and deal with her emails in the same way she deals with people in the rest of her life.  It really *is* that simple. 

(in reply to johntom571)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/15/2008 12:29:10 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		From your profile (which I like, by the way):

quote:

 I believe that confidence knows its difference from cockyness and is easily amused by it, whereas cockyness doesn't and is easily offended.


Where do you see yourself within the context of this statement and the situation with your girl?

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to johntom571)
Profile   Post #: 40
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