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RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/15/2008 1:11:58 PM   
silkncarol


Posts: 318
Status: offline 		SO true RS!!   Delete and block work wonders....... no point in stooping to their level....


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

“The only way to win is not to play”
-Wargames


_____________________________

We attract hearts by the qualities we display. We retain them by the qualities we possess.

Shoes can change your life................. Cinderella

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/15/2008 1:19:38 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Delete and block work wonders....... no point in stooping to their level....


and by blocking them you get to send them the message that they have successfully dominated you - congratulations!


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to silkncarol)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/15/2008 7:01:28 PM   
roland23


Posts: 241
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Define obnoxious Dom

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/16/2008 12:09:45 AM   
BrokenSaint


Posts: 301
Joined: 10/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterBeast

I say build a trebucet and launch kittens at them. 


Hot damn, I'm on board! How about a rabid puppy catapult? I was thinking ravenous wolves, but I think it would be a case of too much effort for low return as they finish their meals faster.

(in reply to MisterBeast)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/16/2008 12:52:10 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		pfffttt:

Response to e-mail: "Thank you for your interest. However, I'm not looking for anyone right now." (And forget the whole "under consideration thing. Either you've decided to collar her or  you haven't. "Under consideration" to many means "I still have a chance."  "Under consideration" just entices them to try harder. If and when you do collar her, she can certainly say "Thank you for your interest, however, I belong to _____")

While it may be quite the ego-builder to have some submissive going around telling others that she's under consideration by you, it does absolutely nothing to help build her competance and resiliancy with regard to her ability to "navigate the treacherous waters" of this life. So, since you say you want someone with that ability, you might want to consider the idea that your suggestions regarding the whole "under consideration" thing does nothing to further what you say you want in her - and frankly, it does more to promote that disrag effect you say you don't want than anything else.

Having her learn to find ways to "just say no" rather than avoiding the whole process with the "under consideration" excuse goes a lot farther in the education and development of a new submissive.

Coincidentally, learning that spending time wondering if other dominants are "real" or not is a waste of time will also go a long way in the education and development of yourself as a dominant. I mean seriously! What the heck do you care if someone is "real" or not (by whatever test of "realness" floats your personal boat)? Are you the dominant police? And think about it. If she's truly interested in you, why would she care either? If she's not interested in these guys, then she's not interested. Period.

You might also give some thought to the idea that if she's coming to you constantly with tales of "dominants who are dummies", might she be actively seeking (as in, manipulating things)  to get you all up in arms regarding these situations? (You know, the old "ooh, look! The big strong dominant-type person will fight for me!!" mentality.) I know lots of women, both of vanilla and bdsm leanings who kinda get off on this process.

The reason I ask is cause I never have problems like what you're describe. Certainly, dominants contact me. I respond "Thank you for your interest. However, I belong to ____, and I'm not looking for anyone." or something to that effect. Only every once in a while do I get someone attempting to continue the conversation. And when they do, I simply don't respond to anything further. It rarely goes past that second inquiry. And I don't even need to block them.

Like my mom says. "Just because the phone is ringing doesn't mean you have to answer it!" The same thing holds true for e-mails. While it's nice that she's responded to an inquiry, anything more is simply not a requirement of living. She gave them her response. Whatever else they might write is superfluous and she should feel no sense of obligation to continue the conversation.

juliet 

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 7/16/2008 12:58:41 AM >

(in reply to johntom571)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/16/2008 7:21:36 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Two things...
1.  Your submissive friend needs to grow up and learn how to deal with anonymous emails on a personals site by hitting the delete button. 
BINGO!! She needs to learn to handle this by herself. If she can't handle some idiot via a computer connection, she'll get eaten alive in real life. Personally, I find it ridiculus when a submissive hides behind a Dominant on the internet. (I'm going to cyber beat you up!)


quote:

ORIGINAL: NeedingMore220

I'm sorry, but tread the treacherous waters??  lol  Tell her to 'man up' and deal with her emails in the same way she deals with people in the rest of her life.  It really *is* that simple. 

Exactly. It's the internet. It's vapor. It's ether. It's nothing except a cable that connects you to a virtual conversation center. If you can't handle it, shut the computer off.

Bottom line...she needs to look at the email, laugh, say "What a fuckwad", delete and move on. End of story.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/16/2008 3:39:41 PM   
frazzle121


Posts: 116
Joined: 3/28/2007
Status: offline 		to the Op.

You said she put 'under consideration' on profile to try to cut down unwanted mail.
It hasnt worked, what a surprise, as she isnt realy under consideration and wont have changed the rest of her profile to signify that.

You say people should respect the 'under consideration' but are only using it as a ruse yourself.  I would take it from that, that you don't deem someone in the same position as, a no go, either.

(in reply to johntom571)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/17/2008 9:05:02 AM   
johntom571


Posts: 63
Joined: 7/17/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

From your profile (which I like, by the way):

quote:

 I believe that confidence knows its difference from cockyness and is easily amused by it, whereas cockyness doesn't and is easily offended.


Where do you see yourself within the context of this statement and the situation with your girl?


I see myself trying not to take myself too seriously, but asking for advice at large.  your point being...? :)

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/17/2008 9:56:56 AM   
johntom571


Posts: 63
Joined: 7/17/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle121

to the Op.

You said she put 'under consideration' on profile to try to cut down unwanted mail.
It hasnt worked, what a surprise, as she isnt realy under consideration and wont have changed the rest of her profile to signify that.

You say people should respect the 'under consideration' but are only using it as a ruse yourself.  I would take it from that, that you don't deem someone in the same position as, a no go, either.


Oh boy.....!

First off, I don't remember stating that "people should respect the 'under consideration' comment", though it would be nice if they did, and some actually do.  However you are right: some don't, and that's precisely whom we (sub and I) were trying to ward off.  I'll confess to an error in judgement.  End of discussion on that silly business.

Beyond that, I'm not sure if I follow your argument, or that of the other poster who commented on my profile indicating that I was not looking for anyone.  Has it occured to either of you that I might not be looking for anyone because I am seriously considering this sub?  Other than the fact my profile "might" need continual updating to reflect my moods, emotions, wishes and desires, (my apologies to the purists, someone of us have full time jobs to keep us otherwise busy), where are you getting that the sub in question is NOT under consideration?  Does it have to be spelled or punctuated in a particular manner for it to smack of sincerity and validity?  I'm open to suggestions.  No wait.  I take that back: I don't particularly care at this point :)

And as long as we're putting words in each other's mouth, I am wondering about the gratuitous suggestion that I might be inclined to hitting on other subs "under consideration".  Being a relatively newer and infrequent contributor here, however, I might have miscontrued the comment.  For further reference however, I wonder:  Is cynicism and assuming the worse intentions an acquired skill, or is it a natural ability that is readily attracted to this sort of fora?  You don't have to answer that either. :)

Ok, again, again, THANK you all for your, ahem, "kind" comments.  I'll entertain further constructive input by private messages.  The rest of you can take a calmant through whichever orifice isn't occupied by a hot poker. :) 

JT

(in reply to frazzle121)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/17/2008 5:37:12 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		If nothing else, the post got people to look at the OP's profile.   (sorry, I'll go back to my corner now)

(in reply to johntom571)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/20/2008 11:32:53 AM   
sujuguete


Posts: 263
Joined: 7/3/2008
From: DC metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BrokenSaint

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterBeast

I say build a trebucet and launch kittens at them. 


Hot damn, I'm on board! How about a rabid puppy catapult? I was thinking ravenous wolves, but I think it would be a case of too much effort for low return as they finish their meals faster.



The Pig-a-Pult is my personal favorite. 

(in reply to BrokenSaint)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/20/2008 2:50:43 PM   
goodgirl08


Posts: 145
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline 		Hi, just be yourself and don't get too jealous of random internet people. They're not going to take your girl away...

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/20/2008 3:08:42 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

yet I wonder: could there be anything about my profile that lends this unfortunate impression?

No.  We are each as real as we care to be, and to hell with everyone else.
quote:

 I am considering approaching the "gentlemen" in question, and asking them directly. But would direct confrontation be considered "undomly"?

Not "undomly"--unwise, definitely.  Counterproductive, absolutely.  Since you can't back anything online up with the trusty pair of Smith and Wesson, it all has a hollow ring no matter what.

quote:

Should a "real" confident Dom be asking himself all these gripping questions?

No. 

BTW, if you want her, take her.  Or don't.  "Under consideration" to my mind always has an indecisive ring to it.  Make a decision and go with it.


_____________________________



(in reply to johntom571)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/21/2008 2:08:12 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I looked at the profile.  It's mediocre.  Yes, decent enough to convey the other person on the other side of the screen, but not much else.  I'm sure it would have been a great profile for e-harmony.

Funny, I didn't notice this sub who is supposedly "under consideration" mentioned in the profile.  I also didn't notice any particular experience in being a Dom.  No mention of skills or past experiences.  I might have missed them.  I admit to just skimming. 

Too many people use the term "under consideration" to mean that just the sub has a potential investment.  If she's yours, and you don't want other Doms contacting her, own up to it.  If she's your 'friend' and you don't have a serious interest in her other than watching over her, say so, that she might get to experience things for herself.

I'm done here.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to celticlord2112)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/21/2008 2:43:14 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		First: What is a genuine Dom? I consider myself genuine and NO, I am not connected with the local scene. I know a few people, but I am not into public, but I am private about it.
Have I ever written a lady who said she was under consideration or collared? Yes, but just to say I admired something she wrote. If she answers, (as some have), I may get a friend, if not, well, I was taught to give complements when they are sincere.
Is there anything you can do to stop the cock roosters and serial subs? NO. Hell, they even proposition me (yea, I have my ugly mug posted) as a cute young thing (could give one a complex). The ladies are correct. Ignore, block and for god's sake, don't keep replying. That just fuels the fire.
I don't judge anyone else's relationship or choices (well, at least not in writing or vocally, I may get a little snarfy in my mind, but I keep it there). Remember, there are many definitions for roles shown on here and there are a lot of people who are just playing or are just stupid. But there are some good people. I enjoy those and ignore the rest.

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Doms - 7/21/2008 2:53:07 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto

If nothing else, the post got people to look at the OP's profile.   (sorry, I'll go back to my corner now)


Wow, that is very true.

It's an ill wind (that blows nobody any good).

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to kallisto)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Dom's - 7/21/2008 5:09:10 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		yes some are more that I like to deal with Its a general lack of simple manners to me.  Have her use the delete or involved button...its like scraping off the mud from your boots be for entering your place..just a everyday thing..do it and go on...

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Dom's - 7/22/2008 11:10:45 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		If your going to define a obnixous Dom please don't use my name.

(in reply to Huntertn)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Dom's - 7/22/2008 2:49:30 PM   
Lumus


Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

If your going to define a obnixous Dom please don't use my name.


Mine can be used.  I'm very fucking obnoxious.  I just don't troll to be obnoxious.

Instead, I stuff things down the front of my pants before going to work.

~VelveetaCheesedickDom




_____________________________

<Talk to educate; listen to learn.>

~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: How to deal with obnoxious Dom's - 7/22/2008 3:31:57 PM   
angaothsi


Posts: 242
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lumus

Instead, I stuff things down the front of my pants before going to work.

~VelveetaCheesedickDom


 
Quarters? Cucumbers? What type of things...enquiring minds would like to know!
 
****sorry, it was too good to pass up!****

_____________________________

He says she is immodest; Blames her amiss; What follows more, she murders with a kiss

(in reply to Lumus)
Profile   Post #: 60
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