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Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/13/2008 12:29:45 PM

slayergirl6985

Posts: 9
Joined: 6/8/2008
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I've been involved with a few different guys that have been interested in anal sex. Now I'm generally the type of person who will try just about anything once and I have tried it. Unfortunately I had some bad experiences with it, which had made me fearful of trying again. The last guy I was with wanted to and my fear was the only thing holding me back. (Although my fear was quickly being replaced by my strong desire to please him.) What I'm looking for here is an understanding of what men find appealing about this sexual activity and I want to hear about women's experiences. I hoping that hearing others experiences will help make me more open to the possiblity of anal sex in the future.

Post #: 1

RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/13/2008 12:33:45 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
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What i think they feel appealing is that it is "taboo" ... and it is a tight fit! .... and vaguely humilitating. and did i mention taboo.

I find it completely different than vaginal intercourse. The sensations are different, and exciting to me. I always feel wicked and decadent and not my mothers oldsmobile! *grins*

(in reply to slayergirl6985)

Post #: 2

RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/13/2008 12:33:53 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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Why guys like it? Because it is inevidibly tighter, there is a ring which grasps their dick as it slides in and out. It is an ego boost to know that she.. or he will let someone assail a place meant for exits.
Why women like it? Because when it is done right it feels great.
Kyst

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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

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(in reply to slayergirl6985)

Post #: 3

RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/13/2008 12:34:08 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

Be really relaxed. Be really aroused. Really want to do it. Use lube. Enjoy.

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Post #: 4

RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/13/2008 12:44:41 PM

MistressSybella

Posts: 163
Joined: 9/14/2004
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Yes, relaxation is the key, and lotsa lube. Start small. If done right, it is yummy.

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Post #: 5

RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/13/2008 12:45:53 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Hello to the OP:
There is a search button up at the top. I suggest you click on it and search this topic. There are a million threads about it.

And I'd rather go do it than type about it. *winks
peace and passion,
sunshine

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Post #: 6

RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/13/2008 12:49:27 PM

Asherdelampyr

Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
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First guy to chime in!

I like it because it feels very different, the muscles clenching around it, the humiliation is there, and the pain.. and the knowledge that im doing something "taboo"

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Post #: 7

RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/13/2008 12:53:24 PM

peacelili

Posts: 29
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

i would have to agree with the 'not understanding it' part....i have expereicned it also and it caused some problems for me physically...yes a lot of lube was used ....but i wonder if some womens bodies are just not meant for it....in my case i have fibromyalgia which has a lot of smaller problems along with it including but not limited to IBS, RLS, and migraines....

so its a hard limit for me and i find also that men in general dont understand how i can draw that line if i am sub/slave and want to please them...to this i say ...when i find a Dom/Master who embraces the whole me and the limitations of my body...i am sure it will not be an issue and i will not cross my personal boundaries 'just to please' the many men who think i have no right to deny them anything....i am a human being first, being a sub/slave is in my nature but not the completeness of who i am.....

to those who enjoy it and want it as part of their sexual play i say 'good for you' i have heard it can be a very wonderful experince when there are two consenting adults involved....to me tho...its like needle play...i have a limit on that bc i am deathly afraid of needles...no one argues that point with me so i sometimes dont understand why they argue with me about anal play....lol

hope you All have a very blessed day
peacelili

(in reply to slayergirl6985)

Post #: 8

RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/13/2008 12:56:41 PM

SandyBottom

Posts: 5
Joined: 6/10/2007
Status: offline

It is a truely incredible experience. It feels like you might die of pleasure and pain at the same time. Lube is essential because unlike your vagina, you rectum does not produce mucous to lubricate itself. You will have to stop him to add more lube before you two are done, maybe twice. When it starts to hurt, use lube, because rectal tears are easy, and feces in your bloodstream can make you very sick.
Communication is the other key. You need to start with something small, like a small finger, then work up to two or three, and by then, depending on his girth, you should be ready to take him. You will constrict at first, but will relax quite quickly with stimulation. You have to be in control of his insertion rate verbally. You have to say stop and go and he has to listen.
Actually anal sex gives better access to your prostate, when you are approached from the rear, and better access for his pubic bone to rub your clitoris in the missionary position. It is definitely worth the effort to get there.
Why do guys like it? It's tight and the view is great. Feels good and looks good. And you will not be able to stop thinking about him the next day...everytime you sit!

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 9

RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/13/2008 1:03:26 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

Fuck 90% of the advice you read about anal sex and how to get into it. I LOVE anal and have introduced any number of women to it who now love it, some even crave it and orgasm far quicker with a bit of anal play.

Forget penetration for now. Whenever you are making love and you are getting near orgasm, have your lover sensually play with the area around your anus, licking, touching, caressing it as you cum. I love going down on a woman, sucking and eating her cunt, teasing her clit and when she is about to cum, playing with that super sensitive area is hot. The goal is to break the negative association between your ass and pain and replace it with a positive association of pleasure.

It might take a week, it might take months, but at some point your lover is going to be doing that to you and feel your "inner slut" pressing your ass against that finger, hungry for MORE. Now, I am a sadist and will of course give LESS, but at some point, that is when SOME penetration should happen. You want to go slower than your greedy horny slut side wants to go.

Also, as you begin to play with penetration, when he does so, slide it in and stop or at least let the muscles adjust before going on. That is why all the crap about "slowly use larger buttplugs" isn't going to work for someone like you.

At some point, if you follow the above advice, your lover can wake up while you are still sleeping and rape your ass and you will come up screaming in orgasm rather than in pain, or at least pain AND orgasm...

(in reply to slayergirl6985)

Post #: 10

RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/13/2008 1:08:41 PM

sunshinemiss

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Joined: 11/26/2007
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*bows to the glorious Simply Michael. That BSB is one lucky bitch.

sunshine

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Post #: 11

RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/13/2008 1:15:15 PM

WyldHrt

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Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

Hmmmm..... is it getting warm in here?

Nice post, Michael!

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RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/13/2008 1:44:28 PM

Letstartbytalkin

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/6/2008
Status: offline

For me sex is in the brain. And it is all about her submitting, I do not want her damaged so lube is required but so is her submission. In her submission I find pleasure and I want her to find pleasure as well. It is my hope that she will ultimately enjoy submitting so much in this that she will have an orgasm.

(in reply to slayergirl6985)

Post #: 13

RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/13/2008 1:52:14 PM

Daddystouch

Posts: 162
Joined: 10/20/2006
From: South East England
Status: offline

Another guy here and, predictably, I love it. Last girl I was with loved it, especially dry i.e. no lube. She wasn't usually a pain slut, but she when it came to back there she just needed to be hurt, not to mention the strong mental fuckery of 'taking it dry'. I was concerned about damaging her but, after building up to it (dry, that is), it went well and we did it a lot after that with no problems.

Her, and other girls, enjoy it I suspect because it is simply a good sensation - there's a lot of nerve endings there, so it's very sensitive. The feeling of being 'full' and being 'fucked' can be a lot more intense than with vaginal. As mentioned, there's also lots of mental stuff going on: it's taboo, slutty, humiliating, etc. And it's just plain different, something else to add variety.

As for guys, I remember a Youtube video done in the style of a 1950s educational film that said: "Remember, anal sex is better than regular sex because: it's warm, it's tight, and it's more degrading to women." I have to agree! Except on the 'better' part, not sure it's better. I'd say vaginal sex and anal sex (and indeed oral sex) are equally good, just different.

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RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/13/2008 1:54:39 PM

sweetwenchie

Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

i had many thoughts rattling through my brain and heading towards my fingertips, eager to find their way to this page... then i read Simply Michael's post and fuck if i didn't lose every single intelligent thought i had.

so ummmmm, yeah, what he said!

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Post #: 15

RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/13/2008 1:56:57 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

Males like anal because the muscle ring is tighter and tighter for longer than most vaginas and is 'taboo.' Anyone with a strap on likes it because of the control/taboo element.
I love it because it involves trust and is the breaking of a tabboo. But i also love the feeling that penettation into my arse exerts on the posterior wall of my vagina. If there's somehing else inserted into my vagina at the same time then i am in seventh heaven.
Position upon receiving is important; if you kneel doggy style it helps the 'penised' one to get a grip on your hips or clothing to manage the thrust and pacing. Another good position is with your legs up and way back over your head so that you are tipped back further than you would be for vaginak penetrtation. This i didn't trust until i learned to completely surrender because it is deeperpenetration.
Use lube. Or don't use lube. There's a moment when penetration creates a certain pain which is for me at least completely sexual.
There are shower attachments you can buy which are very easy to get up your arse and essentially wash it out like an enema if you are worried about the brown stuff. Get used to senstion by playing with insertions like carrots, cucumbers....protected by a condom as bacteria is present on most edibles, dildos, vibrators. Fuck it's just animal and blows my mind........i haven't stayed interested for long in anyone who didn't want to seriously own that hole.
Whew.....cold shower....

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 7/13/2008 2:03:58 PM >

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RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/13/2008 2:07:10 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

Hmmmm..... is it getting warm in here?
Nice post, Michael!

Hot in.....
So hot in heerre.....
So hot in..... Oh
Wan' a lil bit of uh uh and a lil bit of.
(Wan' a lil bit of uh uh just a lil bit of.
Wan' a lil bit of uh uh just a lil bit of.)
I was like, good gracious ass is bodacious
Oh, flirtacious, tryin to show patience
I'm waitin' for the right time to shoot my steez ...........
....an i wanna take my clothes off

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 7/13/2008 2:08:05 PM >

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Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
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To my stalker:
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RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/13/2008 2:08:43 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
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I never felt degraded having anal sex. Only yummy.

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Post #: 18

RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/13/2008 2:55:51 PM

CrevansShadow

Posts: 2
Joined: 7/11/2008
Status: offline

I absolutly LOVE being fucked in the ass...especially while being fisted at the same time...its an absolutly amazing feeling for me..I imagine it makes alot of difference too, who is doing it to you, and your comfort/trust level with them..what I am curious to know, is why some men love doing it, but arent as open minded about recieveing it from their girl when all they want is for their lover to feel that good too..

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 19

RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/13/2008 3:03:34 PM

christine1

Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline

it's very yummy...can be degrading if He wishes it to be. i love the tinglies it gives me all throughout my abdomen.

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