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RE: Punishment by adding new slave - 7/14/2008 9:31:35 AM   
kinkypuppy2


Posts: 345
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		Sounds like another "on-line" relationship that is disfunctional because its only "on-line"

_____________________________

See nic "Kinkypupper" also as "slvseeker" As I cannot reply to any posts or log into collarchat under that name I had to create this profile.

(in reply to beatdownslave56)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Punishment by adding new slave - 7/14/2008 9:34:11 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
~ Fast Reply ~
 
Worrying about this is comparable to having a problem with your make believe friend finding another make believe friend and not playing with you anymore.

(in reply to kinkypuppy2)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Punishment by adding new slave - 7/14/2008 9:38:43 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: beatdownslave56

thank you everyone...

you have validated what i as a very intelligent, previously strong highly confident slave was feeling, he validated these feelings by me asking for help again today and he ignored me and only responded by telling me that a photo i sent to him last night was not good enough and he was very disappointed.


He sounds like a dominant (cough) I spent four months of my life on.  Toward the end, he berated me for 30 days straight, telling me exactly the kinds of things you have said here in your thread.  He would tell me he couldn't decide if he should keep me or not, because I could never be pleasing and he wasn't sure I was worth his time.   With the help of a good friend, I found the courage (because I basically had none by that point) to tell him since he could not find me pleasing in any way, it is obvious to me that I was the wrong girl for him.  And since he could not decide whether to keep me, I will decide for him, because I'm leaving.

And I left.  And then I met the most wonderful man in my life, who helped build me back up.  He did this through clarity and consistency - something you are not getting, based on what you have written here.

In a situation like yours, you can not possibly succeed, because your owner won't let you.  And he has set you up to only fail further, because he has you becoming afraid of your own shadow, and who can possibly serve well under such circumstances?



_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to beatdownslave56)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Punishment by adding new slave - 7/14/2008 11:59:52 AM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline 		Aw, hon. smooch. Sending you virtual hugs.

This guy is trying to force you to believe that you are to blame for his infedelity. It's an online relationship, for pity's sake. Change your email & phone number. Buy a means for self defense. Inform him you are done, then eat some chocolate and move on. And for fucks sake, stop sending him the free porn.

< Message edited by StormsSlave -- 7/14/2008 12:01:17 PM >

_____________________________

Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!

--nobody's resident anything.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Punishment by adding new slave - 7/14/2008 12:18:53 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: beatdownslave56

he has given me 30 days to "step up" and prove to him that i am worthy to be the only slave in his life or he is going to add a new slave. this for me, is the worst alternative i can ever imagine.  he views it as help for me and a someone to meet his needs, which he has not communicated what needs of his that are currently today not being met by me.


Horse hocky.

This all smells of serious emotional turmoil and the sooner you address your issues professionally, the sooner you can get in a relationship worthy of you.

(in reply to beatdownslave56)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Punishment by adding new slave - 7/14/2008 1:24:56 PM   
beatdownslave56


Posts: 13
Joined: 7/14/2008
Status: offline 		well actually we see each other in person every two weeks, he always comes to visit me

(in reply to kinkypuppy2)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Punishment by adding new slave - 7/14/2008 1:29:32 PM   
ApathyRomance


Posts: 106
Joined: 4/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StormsSlave

Aw, hon. smooch. Sending you virtual hugs.

This guy is trying to force you to believe that you are to blame for his infedelity. It's an online relationship, for pity's sake. Change your email & phone number. Buy a means for self defense. Inform him you are done, then eat some chocolate and move on. And for fucks sake, stop sending him the free porn.


mmm free porn.

(in reply to StormsSlave)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Punishment by adding new slave - 7/14/2008 1:33:11 PM   
beatdownslave56


Posts: 13
Joined: 7/14/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkypuppy2

Sounds like another "on-line" relationship that is disfunctional because its only "on-line"


actually we see each other in person every other weekend

(in reply to kinkypuppy2)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Punishment by adding new slave - 7/14/2008 1:40:35 PM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		His name isnt Ben or David is it?
Well, sweetheart. If you were in a vanilla relationship would you take it?
If this were say a Boss/employee situation. Would you take it?

If the answer is yes.. stay...
If its no, Tell him to kiss your ever so pretty ass and put him on ignore, if he shows up at your place, call the cops. Explain to the cops he hits you on a regular basis.... I know its cruel, but he doesnt realize no means no he deserves it.


_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to beatdownslave56)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Punishment by adding new slave - 7/14/2008 1:43:40 PM   
badlilthang


Posts: 357
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline 		as i see it...you have two choices. live in misery like you do now - enabling him to treat you like this..and feel less and less worthy day by day - OR

be strong...show backbone and say enough!  you deserve better - he is the kind of "man" that sets people up..until they have to walk away to save their sanity - only for him to be able to say - hey -  i am flawless - she was the one leaving me.

Rest assure -  he will be so lonely - there is this thing called karma. Walk away, sweetie - and walk away proudly!!!


_____________________________

.Forgiveness is the fragrance a flower leaves in the air after being crushed underfoot.

(in reply to beatdownslave56)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Punishment by adding new slave - 7/14/2008 1:57:34 PM   
beatdownslave56


Posts: 13
Joined: 7/14/2008
Status: offline 		thanks everyone i appreciate all the posts and advice. i am out of here

(in reply to badlilthang)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Punishment by adding new slave - 7/14/2008 2:15:22 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool
if he shows up at your place, call the cops. Explain to the cops he hits you on a regular basis.... I know its cruel, but he doesnt realize no means no he deserves it.


I can't even begin to describe the enormity of what makes this a Very Bad Idea.  No, he doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve someone who consented to a BDSM relationship to report him to the police for that consensual relationship.

Would you tell her to claim he raped her if they had consensual sex but now she's mad at him?  And now I'm thinking about people that might be interested in you, and reading your advice to her, and thinking, "geez, if she gets mad at me, she's going to call the cops and tell them I beat her."  I'm hoping you just didn't think this through completely when you gave this advice.

Please, for the love of little puppies, just don't do it. 

Cali



_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to hopelessfool)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Punishment by adding new slave - 7/14/2008 2:21:35 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		whole heartedly agress with Cali ... it is a monumentally destructive thing to do. You can have no idea of how far the consequences of such an act can go

adds .. for the love of the fluffy little kittens to that of the puppies

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Punishment by adding new slave - 7/14/2008 2:53:12 PM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		And sometimes thats what it takes for the cops to listen in a small town.

I had an ex that wouldnt take no for an answer, He would show up at my place at all hours of the night and day with various weapons, the cops couldnt do anything because he stayed on public property.  And never "attempted" to harm me. But still for 6 month this man harassed the living hell out of me telling me how he was going to kill me and my family... Still, they havent dont ANYTHING to Him.

If someone doesnt take no for an answer, they dont listen to block and ignore, the cops do not listen, and give you some BS reason. It can be the only way to get someone whos psychotic away from you.

It is cruel can end badly yes. But some people are so fucked in the head aside from letting him kill you for leaving them. Its the only option.

Here if you cant provide real life proof you are in harm you get no restraining order. Online doctumentation of his plans of torturing you to death dont hold up. Its one of the way downsides of living in a small town.


< Message edited by hopelessfool -- 7/14/2008 2:57:13 PM >

_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Punishment by adding new slave - 7/14/2008 2:54:32 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I think you should listen to the the demons, who are screaming at you, trying to tell you that you're allowing yourself to be in another bad relationship, and that you should get out of it and find one that works for you.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Punishment by adding new slave - 7/14/2008 3:20:23 PM   
beatdownslave56


Posts: 13
Joined: 7/14/2008
Status: offline 		i would never do that. i agreed to this lifestyle but i have written a letter and put it for safe keeping that if anything happens to me that he should be the first person questioned...

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool
if he shows up at your place, call the cops. Explain to the cops he hits you on a regular basis.... I know its cruel, but he doesnt realize no means no he deserves it.


I can't even begin to describe the enormity of what makes this a Very Bad Idea.  No, he doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve someone who consented to a BDSM relationship to report him to the police for that consensual relationship.

Would you tell her to claim he raped her if they had consensual sex but now she's mad at him?  And now I'm thinking about people that might be interested in you, and reading your advice to her, and thinking, "geez, if she gets mad at me, she's going to call the cops and tell them I beat her."  I'm hoping you just didn't think this through completely when you gave this advice.

Please, for the love of little puppies, just don't do it. 

Cali



(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Punishment by adding new slave - 7/14/2008 3:24:41 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Thats great - but did you tell him what you did??  Because if not - you need to.

and

owwwww   fluffy kittens and puppies!!!!!!

(in reply to beatdownslave56)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Punishment by adding new slave - 7/14/2008 3:25:01 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Hopeless, I am sorry that you found legal avenues ineffective in your small town. There are resources available, there are alternatives, but twisting the truth to the police is never a good idea.  Without any background at all, your advice is just plain dangerous... with the background, it is very inadvisable.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to beatdownslave56)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Punishment by adding new slave - 7/14/2008 4:19:20 PM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline 		let's remove bdsm from the equation.  if this was an everyday normal garden variety boyfriend girlfriend relationship, would you accept this sort of treatment?  if the answer is no way, why are you subjecting yourself to it now?  change the locks, change your contact info, walk away and keep on walking until you are able to find someone who values you as a person, not a sex toy.
PM

_____________________________

That which does not kill me, better run pretty damn fast

I miss my ex, but my aim is improving!




(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Punishment by adding new slave - 7/14/2008 4:28:26 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Honestly it sounds like the blind leading the blind.  I'm not sure if she really wants a healthy situation or knows the first step to getting one.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to PanthersMom)
Profile   Post #: 40
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