RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (Full Version)

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Skier -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (8/15/2006 8:50:39 PM)

Totally random observations:

Based on my observations of some of the dungeons, munches, Fleas in New England:

1. Plenty of guys are partnered with overweight female dommes or subs and vice versa. You have a GOOD  chance of locating a male sub. Take heart.

2. The HWP ones attract a lot  more attention. 

3. There definitely seems to be more overweight men and women in the scene than in vanilla life.

4. Cars, parking spaces and people are generally  wider in America than in Europe.

5. 30.5% of the adult population of the U.S. is listed as morbidly obese (>BMI 30) resulting in 300,000 premature deaths annually, second only to smoking so getting in good physical condition is a good idea.

6. Losing and keeping the weight off is murder. Genetics, culture, and now some scientists think  viruses all contribute to the Herculean task.

7. There's no 'reasoning' with the libido or erotic attraction.  People accept or reject each other for all kinds of 'reasons'.

8. Those who admonish others  to overlook the superficialities of outward appearances and concentrate on the essence of the other person...their personality....etc. might want to consider this scenario: suppose someone were to come on the board and announce that his/her teeth have turned black and half of them have fallen out. Upon further questioning, we discover that s/he quit brushing/flossing , stopped going to the dentist and  has a genetic predisposition to tooth decay. S/he is complaining that no one wants to play or partner with him/her. What do you think would be the dominant (no pun) reaction? No right or wrong answer here; this is just a thought experiment.  What is our cultural view of rotten teeth? How about rotten teeth brought on by lack of effort? Rotten teeth because of  bad genes?  What would be said in reply to the OP? Again, no 'right' or 'wrong' answers, just your thoughts.   



LTRsubNW -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (8/22/2006 5:40:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Miriah

I have met so many great subs with hopes of getting to know them and the min I say I am a BBW poof they stop responding. Can't even send a messaging saying "Thanks but no thanks I'm not interested."

Almost makes a Domme say to hell with it all and just forget about it and go back to the vanilla lifestyle.

Miriah


The singularly most gorgeous woman in my entire history of being on this planet was not at her ideal weight when we first met (nor was she at what I had ever previously deemed my ideal weight for a woman) and I can tell you right now, the day I first laid eyes on her, I was entirely mesmerized, and I'm REALLY glad she doesn't live in my town because every damn time I look in her eyes I become a complete fucking vegetable.



FelinePersuasion -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (8/22/2006 9:12:54 PM)

I would think the person was a nasty fucker, And needed some lessons in oral hygein if they purposely let their teeth rot out of their heads from lack of brushing flossing or other hygenic measures
I don't however equate fat poeple with lack of care forself. Yeah some people eat to much don't exorcise enough some people don't care,  but not all fat people neglect themselves.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Skier

might want to consider this scenario: suppose someone were to come on the board and announce that his/her teeth have turned black and half of them have fallen out. Upon further questioning, we discover that s/he quit brushing/flossing , stopped going to the dentist and  has a genetic predisposition to tooth decay. S/he is complaining that no one wants to play or partner with him/her. What do you think would be the dominant (no pun) reaction?



joyinslavery -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (8/22/2006 9:18:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Skier

Totally random observations:

Based on my observations of some of the dungeons, munches, Fleas in New England:

1. Plenty of guys are partnered with overweight female dommes or subs and vice versa. You have a GOOD  chance of locating a male sub. Take heart.

2. The HWP ones attract a lot  more attention. 

3. There definitely seems to be more overweight men and women in the scene than in vanilla life.

4. Cars, parking spaces and people are generally  wider in America than in Europe.

5. 30.5% of the adult population of the U.S. is listed as morbidly obese (>BMI 30) resulting in 300,000 premature deaths annually, second only to smoking so getting in good physical condition is a good idea.

6. Losing and keeping the weight off is murder. Genetics, culture, and now some scientists think  viruses all contribute to the Herculean task.

7. There's no 'reasoning' with the libido or erotic attraction.  People accept or reject each other for all kinds of 'reasons'.

8. Those who admonish others  to overlook the superficialities of outward appearances and concentrate on the essence of the other person...their personality....etc. might want to consider this scenario: suppose someone were to come on the board and announce that his/her teeth have turned black and half of them have fallen out. Upon further questioning, we discover that s/he quit brushing/flossing , stopped going to the dentist and  has a genetic predisposition to tooth decay. S/he is complaining that no one wants to play or partner with him/her. What do you think would be the dominant (no pun) reaction? No right or wrong answer here; this is just a thought experiment.  What is our cultural view of rotten teeth? How about rotten teeth brought on by lack of effort? Rotten teeth because of  bad genes?  What would be said in reply to the OP? Again, no 'right' or 'wrong' answers, just your thoughts.   


As much as I hate to keep this fucking thread alive one minute longer...you make some good points.

Now, I'm off to brush my teeth...



submissivlyurs -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (5/10/2007 12:49:17 PM)

I agree Wicked Misstress. i wish YOU could control me ......



earthycouple -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (5/10/2007 1:33:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Miriah

I have met so many great subs with hopes of getting to know them and the min I say I am a BBW poof they stop responding. Can't even send a messaging saying "Thanks but no thanks I'm not interested."

Almost makes a Domme say to hell with it all and just forget about it and go back to the vanilla lifestyle.

Miriah


First of all..BBW?  I hate that term because big beautiful and woman very seldom are all the same thing.  Not all big women are beautiful.  Not all average or small women are beatiful.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Beauty goes much further than a face or boobs or waist size. 

Second... what in the name of all that is right in the world makes you think that any forum...vanilla, goth, Southern, Western, Northern, American, Canadian, Brazillian, one nighters or commitment minded groups (I could go on all day with different groups of people)...collectively feel any different about looks or any different about responding vs. disappearing than any other collective group?

Look inside yourself.  Think hard...what makes people stop chatting with YOU.  I know many Dominant women and I know submissive women who are not average size, who are not scrawny and they are living in happy relationships. 

While there are people out there, obviously who are narrow minded and simplistic you can't base a whole community on them.  If we did that I would say something like "Every submissive who lives in Pennsylvania must be wonderful and amazing"  because I found ONE there who is.

Silly logic at best.



maledave7 -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (5/10/2007 4:59:04 PM)

I agree with LadyJulieAnn it would not matter your lifestyle.  You need to keep trying and not give up.  I do have hope that I would find a dominant woman someday.



earthycouple -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (5/11/2007 5:44:11 AM)

"Age is important to me, only men between 30-50."  Quoted from Miriah's profile.
 
My point is made. 



allyC -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (5/11/2007 6:35:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple
First of all..BBW?  I hate that term because big beautiful and woman very seldom are all the same thing.  Not all big women are beautiful. 
 Howdy :) I think that the term BBW doesn't necessarily imply that being big is beautiful but that the woman is indeed both big and beautiful.  At least that is how I have always seen it. Size alone does not denote beauty any more than hair color, eye color, or any other singular physical trait.  I know many BBW's.  I also know many  big women who are not beautiful just as I know many thin women who are not beautiful. (and for me, beautiful does not just apply to appearance.)   If you substituted a word or two - let's say "BRC = Big Red Car."  That doesn't mean that all big cars are red, nor does it mean that all cars are big or that all cars are red and it certainly doesn't mean that the car is red simply because it is big.  It only means that the particular car being referenced happens to be both red and big. Well wishes, Cav's ally  



mercmjm -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (5/11/2007 6:43:56 AM)

well I will tell you this from experience.  I have been in both vanilla and bdsm, and yes in vanilla I have had a girlfriend who was overweight, but i did like the personality, we went out for about a couple of months.  Well the thing is though, I was not physically attracted to her.  That is what ruined it, it does not matter if it is bdsm or vanilla, if you are not a guy or a girl's type, no matter what kind of dominant or sub or slave you are, it frankly will not work out.  Also to the domme who started this post, do you really want a sub or a slave who is not physically attracted to you?



MamaDomme -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (5/11/2007 6:52:48 AM)

I have been a "large-sized" lady for most of my adult life.  I have been a Domme for most of my adult life.  Never have I ever had a lack of subs--- male nor female subs. 

What I have found is the major difference in those Dommes that have partners and those that can't seem to find one, is that those with partners have the confidence and attitude to attract.

I happen to be very comfortable in my own skin-- I know who I am and what I want in life.  I enjoy being ME.  I refuse to play with others that are not of the same thinking.




Indemnis -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (5/12/2007 11:21:22 AM)

I prefer myself, my men/man/mate, and other females around me to be a little thicker than a Barbie... someone will come along for you that likes the same, who will like you both for you and for your appearance.  Just takes some time. :)



Halley -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (5/12/2007 4:45:05 PM)

I just read your profile. Why don't you put on there that you are a BBW? I make sure to include photo's so people know what I look like. That way it doesn't become an issue later.



kc692 -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (5/12/2007 4:46:28 PM)

Has anyone noticed this thread has been revived from a year ago?



trainme1954 -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (5/12/2007 5:02:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

Has anyone noticed this thread has been revived from a year ago?


I did, but my response still applies, in case someone else is in the same shoes.... Narrow your search. Use the search engine that the wonderful programmers put on CM, put in BBW, and see how many male submissives you will find that WANT or PREFER a BBW.  :) Also  mention it in your profile and whalla...



pissboi -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (5/12/2007 6:04:05 PM)

From my perspective, BBW does not rule out play with a Domme.  I try to stay fit but I am not in this lifestyle trying to find Barbie.  If a man is truly submissive, and desires to serve a female dominant, then his search is not for Barbie but rather for a woman who will take control of him (as he desires).  If he finds a Barbie, great, but its not that important.  And who says he is that attractive himself?  The more important aspect of the relationship is the compatibility of ideas.  As with any relationship, there has to be common interests for the relationship to work.  This is not to say that looks may not be important - its just where does that criteria fall on one's list of priorities.  Everyone's list of priorities is unique to them.  When I hear the term BBW, my impression is of a heavy set person.  I would think that a submissive man who tries to stay fit would want a female partner who is d/d free but bc he is submissive, that doesn't mean She has to be a bodybuilder or a Barbie.  If She is clean (and doesn't have black teeth), then some additional body weight should not be a disqualifying factor.  Now, a morbidly obese body may make the person (Domme or sub) undesireable to most.  However, if a sub runs from a woman who merely says She is a BBW, then I would question his priorities.  Does he want to serve or does he want a Barbie on his arm?  If She advertises BBW, and the sub is afraid of a morbidly obese woman, then ask and find out.  As in this case, he may find Her perfectly acceptable and want to meet.  To me, this lifestyle isn't so much about looks, its about how you want to live a part of your life.  While physical appearance is important to some extent, it doesn't fill that need for this lifestyle - but a mental connection with a partner who shares your interest does.  In my case, the Dommes I stay with are the ones I am attracted to, both physically and mentally.  I could write more but I feel I am getting long winded.  Don't know if the sub and the BBW Domme who started this thread ever met, but I hope they did. 



BossySSBBW -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (5/13/2007 7:53:00 AM)

I make sure men read my profile along with the screen name which should give a blaring idea of what and who I am....lol.  I am a very fat, bossy woman.  If it is in my profile, then the men have the oppurtunity to contact me if that is what they are looking for. 
I have found that since I am looking for a real time, face to face relationship, I put all the real me out there.  Then there are no mistakes about my size, age, or much of anything.



MistressSybella -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (12/10/2007 1:29:57 PM)

A sub once told me that he wouldn't serve a large woman for a specific reason. His rationale was, why should he submit to Dommes who couldn't even control themselves. If a woman can't control her eating habits, and put in the effort to maintain her own weight in a healthy manner, then it didn't make sense for him to relinquish his control, himself, to her.

He wasn't interested in me because I was too big for him, and I'm "average," a size 14. I am thick but in his eyes, I was supersized. Goodness, there's no way to make everyone happy! LOL! See, we all get "rejected" sometimes. ;)

I personally do like thicker bodies. As with everyone, I have preferences and those on the very end of either spectrum, too thin or too heavy, are generally not a turn on for me. But truly, it is all just packaging and it is what that is inside that counts. My last live in female sub was a size 28. She was a doll, and sooooo fun to play with. LOL!

I read the whole thread and no one had touched on that concept, that lack of control theory.  I thought I'd throw it out there. I think it does have a little merit. What do you all think?

Miss 'Bella



BBWnNC72 -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (12/10/2007 2:06:24 PM)

i dont know why some have such a hard time with finding slaves or subs, Doms or Dommes. i dont think weight is as big an issue as some may think. there is someone out there for every one.

i agree with the person above me, i think alot of people cant trust some one to control them they way they need to if they cant control themselves.  i personally wouldnt give up control to someone who couldnt control themselves.

i am a submissive, says so right in my profile at the top of the page and i also have my height and weight right there in my stats.  but i get messages all the time from male slaves wanting me to Domme them!!!!! Some will even pay me, come to me, leave their wives.  at least this is what they tell me.  i shake my head and giggle. although i am considering letting one come and serve me domestically so that i can free up my time to better serve a Dom or Master.
drives my trainer crazy, He talks about my slave farm that i will need to get soon. [sm=biggrin.gif]



unravel -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (12/10/2007 2:55:06 PM)

Pretty much as has been stated above:
- generalizations may not work... as many have said in this thread, it is "some", or "many",  or "a few" men may act a certain way or prefer a certain body type. Never "all", Life would be too boring otherwise! :)
- and see it as a blessing that if they leave You right away (althought it is rude to just stop messaging like that) You just saved Yourself a whole lot of energy spent on someone who in the end would not have been compatible.
Good luck!
unravel



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