RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (Full Version)

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Brendan440 -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (4/13/2006 4:12:19 AM)

I really think everything about BBW and BHM for that matter has really already been said.

I think it all comes down to preference. Some people prefer brunettes, some people prefer blondes, some people prefer large breasts, some people prefer small breasts, anyone see a pattern? :)

I think we could argue all the time about why men don't like BBW and the answer is always going to be the same. You will find men who love BBW (like me :) ) and you are going to find men who don't. Now I will say, I have heard from some online BBW friends that men seem to think BBW are "desperate or easy" which here at collarme, is obviously very far from the truth. I think that attitude just comes from society, society says skinny is better, so men assume, very inccorectly, that BBW can't get a man or are hard up.

I would hope any woman, BBW or not, remembers that your always going to find people who like to be disagreeable or just downright mean for no reason. Please try and ignore them and listen to those of us who are singing your praises :)

Brendan



depleted -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (4/13/2006 4:49:44 AM)

a few subs do like "BBW's". i do not because BBW is a marketing term. It is political correctness. BBW attempts to alter the reality that these women have let there bodies got waste. Naturally larger women, those that have muscle tone along with their size can be tremendously exciting. But a morbidly obese woman is of little interest to anyone of character.



LadyJulieAnn -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (4/13/2006 11:04:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: depleted

a few subs do like "BBW's". i do not because BBW is a marketing term. It is political correctness. BBW attempts to alter the reality that these women have let there bodies got waste. Naturally larger women, those that have muscle tone along with their size can be tremendously exciting. But a morbidly obese woman is of little interest to anyone of character.


Surely there must be some politically correct term out there to alter the reality that people like you exist.
 
Be well,
Julie



Clothespingirl -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (4/13/2006 9:19:40 PM)

At my first dungeon party I was feeling awfully unattractive and shy.  There happened to be several dommes and pro dommes there - two of them were even bigger than I am, and the other two were tough and scrawny, with leather skin from chain smoking.  And you know what?  They were ALL popular and surrounded by men!  

So I learned a Very Special Lesson (just like a kid's TV show)  about self-confidence.  It seems to work for subs, too. [;)]



Bagelfather -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (4/14/2006 12:36:40 AM)

I've noticed a lot of BBW Dommes having luck out where I am (Silicon Valley, California).  I know several in the community and it is how you carry yourself.  The people who were rude to you are the same people who will be rude to you in most social situations.  Just remember to think of them as oil fresh from the ground "crude and unrefined."

It is all in attitude.  Though in my personal experience I find more thinner men attracted to larger women than vice versa.  Also this attitude of bigness is not exclusively men.  I see many personal ads from BBW who want acceptance for their stize but then have the same expectations (tall, muscular, hung, etc.) from the men.

Bottom line, you have to find the person who likes you, for you.  This is not always easy but is worth it.  You may also be looking for subs in all the wrong places.



MsMacComb -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (4/14/2006 1:22:10 AM)

Most studies these days indicate that somewhere between half and 3/4s of all Americans are either overweight or obese. If this trend continues everyone better get used to BBW and BHM or whatever acronyms they prefer as the options are dwindling (or would that be expanding, lol) at a very fast rate.



mons -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (4/15/2006 2:24:53 AM)

greeting

I found this type of who like what and why very interesting ! now I was once so
skinny i wore a size 0 yes a size 0> I hated how skinny I was
I could not get man if someone paid them! But my twin is shapely round and
wow she got any man she wanted. So i gain just enough weight to be sexy I feel
so good about me now and I know I am sexy and soft no not all men will like
me but more important I love me. I have many submissive men write me
but when i go to look at there profile I found they have on there BISEXUAL!
That is something I do not go for! But I always write back and say sorry i am not
interested in that type of man and i move on. I have learn to love me first
the i give some of me back i keep a part of me for me, Marliy Mornoe was a size 14 and how sexy was she?
So you must learn to love yourself and I am not large bbw but I wear a nice size.
Love you most and they will fall at your feet.

best wishes

mons/jane oh yes i do walk and ride a bike



TexasMaam -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (4/15/2006 10:01:06 PM)

I have posted this mantra before, but it bears repeating:

Celebrate yourself!  Embrace yourself!  Don't wait until you 'lose weight' or until you 'have enough money to go and..._____(fill in the blank).  Celebrate yourself today.

That includes revealing your height, weight, etc. straight up front.

I'm 6 feet tall, 6'1" actually, am a size 18 (16 when I'm in 'skinny' mode), 42c, have 38 inch inseams (yeah these gams are lonnng baby) and I have no problem at all meeting subs, vanilla potential partners, you name it, I can flash a smile at them and have a dinner date in the offing if that's what I want.  I'm nearly 50 now, but that amiable, winning confidence still radiates like sunshine and draws men like a magnet.

I am a far, far FAR cry from any remote resemblance to a petite wasp-waisted 'perfect' figure; but I'm happy being who I am and I try to always make the most of my best attributes.

Here's a self evaluation tool that I actually use:

If you've never made a list of who you are
'at your finest and best',
do so NOW. 

At my finest and best, I am generous to a fault. (With this item, I visualize a time when I have been totally selfless and have given all I can to another.)

At my finest and best, I'm really striking.  (With this item, I visualize a time when I've been called 'gorgeous' by a man whom I adore, and I remember how it felt to realize he meant it with all his heart.)

At my finest and best, I'm capable and efficient.  (With this item, I visualize a deal I've closed or a business goal I accomplished and I remember how it felt at the time.)

At my finest and best, I am strong and assured of Myself, posessed of the wisdom and courage to handle any crisis or situation that comes My way.  (With this item, I visualize myself making tough decisions to take care of someone I love when a life threatening situation presented itself.)

Continue writing who you are at your finest and best, use real time examples and envision yourself in those situations when you were simply outstanding.  You know there have been times in your life when you've exceeded even your own expectations!

Save that list.  Stick it in your purse.  Anytime you're stuck at the Doctor's office waiting to be called for your appointment, pull it out and read it.  Stuck in traffic? Read it.  Waiting for someone to show up who's running late? Pull it out and read it.

Once you've completed your 'at my finest and best' list, go back and rewrite your profile.

I am certain beyond a doubt that you will begin to receive the contacts you're hoping for.

Best of luck, and keep trying.

TexasMaam



CanadianGuy -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (4/16/2006 1:09:14 AM)

I can't speak for everyone, but in my case I don't like BBW Dommes because:

a) I'm not attracted to large women.
b) I'm not attracted to dominant women.

In the case of submissive men, though, I'd say it's probably more just a).



CodenameV -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (4/16/2006 1:40:44 AM)

You know what I find interesting? It is indeed all about attitude. I have friends who are fat, but...they don't care. In fact, I worked with a lady who was quite large....and during one chat she said "hey....I'm fat, I know I'm fat." This lady even had "big momma" on the back of her car...and she had no trouble meeting people...neither do my friends. It is both a question of the girl's attitude AND the guy's preference. I don't really get physically attracted to fat women. I have some that are friends, but they don't 'do' anything sexually for me. Probably never will. I don't mean to say I like waifish girls either....when I type in search criteria on collarme, my min. height is 5'2" and max weight is 160.....I see girls who run the gamut of what I specified. To, a girl can be a lil larger, but still have that special kind of personality that enhances their inner beauty. It does have it's limits though. For example, if the lady's breasts aer the size of my head....there is little chance of sexual attraction. I make no apologies for it, it's just the way my body and mind react. I won't date someone who's 5' 6" and 400 lbs to prove I'm not shallow....there has to be physical as well as mental attraction for me. Conversely, I could see a girl who looks like Angelina Jolie, but if my IQ drops when I hear her speak....then I'm not interested.

One other thing I find interesting is this....why do the larger women 'need' to use made up terms like BBW? I mean, if that's their thing, fine. But to me it just seems easier to say 'fat.' And I don't mean that as a slam, as I have said, even some of my larger friends say fat as opposed to BBW. BBW is a qualifier. It's like saying "I'm pretty....pretty big"  I mean, even medical definitions say that the girl is fat. Why hide from that unless you're ashamed? And by that token, if you're happy the way you are.....why be ashamed? It's like the lady I worked with.....she sounded so proud when she said she was fat. It honestly didn't phase her a bit.

That always surpised and kind of stuck with me.

The weird thing about our (American) society is our need to hide from the truth. If you're fat, and you're happy.....then be it. And be honest about it. I have what I think is a large nose and chin......my chin looks like freakin' Jay Leno and my nose almost looks like I"m wearing one of those pairs of those novelty glasses (slight exageration, maybe). But I don't hide them (how could I?) I just accept them. It's me....you take it or leave it because I have no money nor inclination to get plastic surgery.



cloudboy -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (4/16/2006 3:03:37 AM)


If you don't love yourself, how can you expect someone else to? (The old maxim)

I think you are right, there are some things about yourself that you have to really, really believe in when it comes to exposing yourself to the world. So, I think your advice / approach is very good. A person is always wise to play to their own strengths.



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (4/16/2006 3:28:01 AM)

quote:

why do the larger women 'need' to use made up terms like BBW? I mean, if that's their thing, fine. But to me it just seems easier to say 'fat.' And I don't mean that as a slam, as I have said, even some of my larger friends say fat as opposed to BBW. BBW is a qualifier. It's like saying "I'm pretty....pretty big"  I mean, even medical definitions say that the girl is fat. Why hide from that unless you're ashamed? And by that token, if you're happy the way you are.....why be ashamed? It's like the lady I worked with.....she sounded so proud when she said she was fat. It honestly didn't phase her a bit.
A lot of people use self deprecation as a way to counteract the negativity associated with things...  Words are associated with meanings, and sometimes those words ellicit negative feelings.   I don't think of myself as fat=unattractive, simply because I'm not the "preferred" size by some folks;  I didn't have the being bigger=being fat=being marginalized as a beautiful woman in my young (pre teen-early teen years).   I don't hate my body, am not ashamed of it, don't mind getting naked with the lights on, and tell anyone who tries to "fix me" exactly where they can kiss.

I like BBW, and so what if it is a made up term.  It's one I am comfortable with, because it happens to be true (I am Big/bodacious/Beautiful, and a woman);  and before you say, but not all big women are beautiful, remember everyone is beautiful to someone.   You hate the acronym, just don't use it, that is your prerogative, but do you need to be hateful to people who like it in order to feel better?  Vive la difference!       M



slavekal -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (4/16/2006 7:54:35 PM)

Some do.  But most men, sub or not, prefer Ashley Judd to Naomi Judd.  There is really no point in asking why.  We just do.  For most of us, an overweigt woman is less appealing.  Likely there is an evolutionary component that goes back to cave days.  But most guys prefer a woman who can rock a bikini.  She does not have to be stick thin, mind you.  J-Lo and Beyonce are not anorexic, ya know.



MsMacComb -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (4/17/2006 12:49:43 AM)

I was thinking about this and had another thought, lol.
According to most insurance company "stats" nearly everyone is overweight, male and female (in the USA). Of course this discounts bone density and muscle etc. The term "BBW" is loosely applied to nearly every woman thats not rail thin. But in reality just based off of a height/weight ratio or someones medical chart the numbers would lie. A female body builder's weight would indicate that she was over weight but she could be on steroids and be at like 5% body fat. Somewhere in between the "roid" lady and a seriously over weight lady is a million variations of body types. A woman thats 5'9" and 165 with big bones and a lot of muscle density and a bit of "healthy covering" would be considered a BBW by most, but by submissive males that like a "Mom Dom" or have a lift/carry fetish, or a wrestling fetish, or a smothering fetish or numerous other types of fetishes she is the hottest thing that has every walked the the face of the earth. Subs like that LOVE large breasts, a big old boomin butt, thick and powerful well muscled thighs and for her to still be a bit "fleshy" and not all covered with veins and looking like some bodybuilder dude. So if a lady identified herself as BBW many would assume that meant she was fat, but it could also mean she was a well built Amazon type that is big, very big, beautiful, very beautiful and very much a woman.



princesshhh -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (4/17/2006 2:28:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: depleted

a few subs do like "BBW's". i do not because BBW is a marketing term. It is political correctness. BBW attempts to alter the reality that these women have let there bodies got waste. Naturally larger women, those that have muscle tone along with their size can be tremendously exciting. But a morbidly obese woman is of little interest to anyone of character.

Plenty of men LOVE BBW women, dommes and submissives... Just as all men love a woman for one reason or another.
You have a LOT of balls making that statement and referring to the concept of having character, please.  I am technically considered morbidly obese...and last I checked I have many admirers of all types. 



bklynbbw -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (4/17/2006 2:36:12 PM)

I just recieved this email.....


""bbw's are ok after they have been bath in piss before an after a good old fashion whiping ""

how sad some have nothing better to do with their time....




moon69 -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (4/17/2006 3:00:38 PM)

I am attracted to most all women in all of their various shapes, sizes, forms, colors, what have you.   BBW or thin..... it all depends on the Woman/Domme.  As long as they are all natural, or comfortable with themselves is whats important.  If not there are other issues to address. 



talltxsub -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (4/17/2006 4:50:03 PM)

It also depends on which "B" is the focus.  Beauty has much less to do with size than with other features, both physical and non-physical.

That said, I do love a woman to have curves.  The waif thing does nothing for me, though it does for others.



CodenameV -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (4/17/2006 5:27:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: talltxsub

It also depends on which "B" is the focus.  Beauty has much less to do with size than with other features, both physical and non-physical.

That said, I do love a woman to have curves.  The waif thing does nothing for me, though it does for others.


EXACTLY.....there was one point I was trying to make that somehow got lost in my rambling. I have met many types of women. I have met many types who used the term BBW as well. And I have met many "BBW's" who were B-E-A-utiful.....but just big as well. But I have also met some who I saw and wondered where they found the basis for that particular "B" in the BBW acronym.

Big does NOT always go easily with Beautiful. But it does not rule it out either. Many casually throw around the BBW, and that, I guess is why I have come to dislike it so. I know I am dipping into shallow-ville right now but let's face it, you DO need to be physically attracted to the person you're with, whether others find them beautiful as well is kind of irrelevant. But to me, if you're going to use the BBW term.....you must have 'both' B's. I mean, hypothetically speaking, a female 'Jabba the Hutt character' would qualify as 'big' but who here finds a giant slug beautiful?



optrists -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (4/17/2006 7:04:35 PM)

i have to admit i prefer a full figured woman



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