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Bad Dom List? - 7/17/2008 5:25:41 PM   
SterlingDS


Posts: 12
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline 		So, one sub I recently contacted on here told me that she didn't want to pursue something because she'd seen me on a quote-unquote 'bad dom list'.

Is this true?  Is there some sort of list circulating?  It sounds a bit far fetched.

And why the heck would I be on it if there was?  I send polite messages, don't misrepresent myself, and don't harrass people.  I've met a few girls from CM in RL and certainly haven't done anything warranting a black list from that!

My guess is either the sub was making stuff up, or that someone is just randomly sending names about, but I'd like some conformation, yay or nay, that this is going on.
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RE: Bad Dom List? - 7/17/2008 5:31:10 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Ooooooh, can I get on it too?  Sounds edgy!

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to SterlingDS)
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RE: Bad Dom List? - 7/17/2008 5:38:14 PM   
Hizprincess


Posts: 13
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline 		One can end up on a bad list because the chemistry is not right. my advice is if they do not want to talk to You because of a black list, then move on. Because i would never take anyone's opinion of another. Only i can judge if One is right for me. And visa versa.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: Bad Dom List? - 7/17/2008 5:40:55 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Ooooooh, can I get on it too?  Sounds edgy!
*rolls up newspaper to tap Your nose*
"Bad Dom.....bad, bad Dom!" 
Um does that make me a Switch?

_____________________________

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: Bad Dom List? - 7/17/2008 5:42:09 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Ooooooh, can I get on it too?  Sounds edgy!
*rolls up newspaper to tap Your nose*
"Bad Dom.....bad, bad Dom!" 
Um does that make me a Switch?




_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to lronitulstahp)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Bad Dom List? - 7/17/2008 5:43:55 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		Isnt a Bad Dom ANYONE who wouldnt want me?????

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: Bad Dom List? - 7/17/2008 5:45:31 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It may also not be you. I doubt you are on every kink site imaginable nor every r/t group. There probably is someone with a name similar to yours whose ex told everybody she knew that he was unsafe. This assumes that someone isn't angry with you for breaking up, refusing them, etc and decided to be spiteful.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: Bad Dom List? - 7/17/2008 5:57:27 PM   
SterlingDS


Posts: 12
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

It may also not be you. I doubt you are on every kink site imaginable nor every r/t group. There probably is someone with a name similar to yours whose ex told everybody she knew that he was unsafe. This assumes that someone isn't angry with you for breaking up, refusing them, etc and decided to be spiteful.


Good point.  Meh, it just threw me for a loop.  It's already so ridiculously hard to find that right person, yet another barrier cropping up has me discouraged.

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: Bad Dom List? - 7/17/2008 6:00:31 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		*S*  I would think one a bit naive to think they wouldn't exist for dommish and subbish types....now why anyone gets on one?  Depends on how irritated one makes another.  I would imagine I'm on one somewhere; I've pissed off a sub type once or twice in my day.  Doesn't mean I'm bad.  It means I'm selective or someone else is selective and didn't feel I fit their selection criteria.  eh, oh well.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: Bad Dom List? - 7/17/2008 6:11:02 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Don't let it bother you.
 
She's just overeacting because she is on the "bad subs list" for spreading false gossip.
 


_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to SterlingDS)
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RE: Bad Dom List? - 7/17/2008 6:17:13 PM   
IntellectualSub1


Posts: 5
Joined: 6/21/2008
Status: offline 		Perhaps the sub was referring to the list that subs use to determine a bad Dom.
I think that there is a link here - somewhere.. if I can only find it... where is it??


Anyway, I use that list to remind me to think with my brain and be safe.  If you are perceived to fall under the 'bad Dom' categories.. you're screwed (or not- for that matter).  


(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Bad Dom List? - 7/17/2008 6:57:18 PM   
joyinslavery


Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		Can't be much of a list. 

Someone told me I was on it too.

Have fun. 

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to SterlingDS)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Bad Dom List? - 7/17/2008 7:17:31 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yummy. I've always had a thing for bad boys. Now if only I could find that list ...

(in reply to SterlingDS)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Bad Dom List? - 7/17/2008 7:20:36 PM   
KCherry


Posts: 2264
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: Send Help, Fla.
Status: offline 		Makes you wonder if their is a bad sub list somewhere? Hehehe! ^_^ Wouldnt worry too much about it.

_____________________________

Reality and I had a fundamental differing of opinions. We're currently undergoing trial separation.

Rafters Resident ^_^v

(in reply to batshalom)
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RE: Bad Dom List? - 7/17/2008 7:26:13 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline
quote:

It may also not be you. I doubt you are on every kink site imaginable nor every r/t group. There probably is someone with a name similar to yours whose ex told everybody she knew that he was unsafe. This assumes that someone isn't angry with you for breaking up, refusing them, etc and decided to be spiteful.


This is why I would never pay attention to someone telling me how 'unsafe' or generally 'bad' their Dom is. Exes tend to not like you - that's why they are called Exes. Even if they are telling the truth, it can't help but be colored by their own perception and experience, which, clearly, was not good. And even if they could just manage to relate only objective information, well, first, they are only going to be talking about the half of it that makes their point, and, second, who a person was, how they act, while dating me, has something to do with me - with what we are, and make, between us. With someone else, they may be entirely different.

I will do a couple of other things, though. I will ask someone to tell me about their exes, and listen - not to the story itself, but to the tone, attitude, ect. If their last five exes were total bitches who took them and used them and abused them - it's a warning sign. If they are still angry and bitter - maybe i should come back after they dump the bagage? If they gleefully tell how they destroyed her life when they broke up - if doesn't even matter if it is true or if they are grandoiously bragging, what matters is, do i want to date someone who thinks like that?
Also, i have no problem with people who admit they are newbies. However, if they go on and on about their 30 years of extensive experience, but then tell me they are not active in the scene because they can't be seen in public like that, sensitive job, just a private person, don't like the politics, ect - I will ask for refrences. In 20 or 30 years of active play or expreince, surely you have managed to collect one or two former subs with whom you are still friendly who will speak well of you? That is just about flushing out the BSers, though. (I have given refrence before, btw. I have a few exes who are fine men and wonderful Doms and I don't mind providing a refrence)

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: Bad Dom List? - 7/18/2008 1:51:16 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SterlingDS

Is this true?  Is there some sort of list circulating?  It sounds a bit far fetched.


I'd bet that there are several actually.
quote:


And why the heck would I be on it if there was?  I send polite messages, don't misrepresent myself, and don't harrass people.  I've met a few girls from CM in RL and certainly haven't done anything warranting a black list from that!



Well, either you offended someone without realizing it, someone confused you for someone else, someone just hates your guts, or someone has decided that you are "bad" because you don't use rope, haven't ever bottomed, turned them down, *fill in the blank*. I'm sure there are plenty of other reasons.

I'm betting that somewhere there is a bad s-type list and I'm on it.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to SterlingDS)
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RE: Bad Dom List? - 7/18/2008 1:57:07 AM   
TheOnlyBitch


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/2/2008
Status: offline 		i think some men/women would feel, that they had a "bad dom/domme" because the chemistry isnt right, you need to find the right relationship with yur potential slave, and its hard
hope you all find what you are lookong for
x

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Bad Dom List? - 7/18/2008 12:02:43 PM   
accipitres


Posts: 70
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Sheesh.  What defines "bad"?

What I consider a bad dom may be a perfect dom for someone else!

(in reply to SterlingDS)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Bad Dom List? - 7/18/2008 12:36:30 PM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: accipitres
Sheesh.  What defines "bad"?

Someone who takes something from someone else without that persons consent.

Be it not honoring someone's safeword or stop request. Be it taking photos of someone without their knowledge. Be it the un consensual theft of properties or monies. etc etc etc .


CD

_____________________________

Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.
Lois McMaster Bujold, "A Civil Campaign", 1999

(in reply to accipitres)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Bad Dom List? - 7/18/2008 12:38:42 PM   
MistressHowl


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/10/2008
Status: offline 		 AHHHH- I think perhaps exactly what I am looking for-some honest opinions
I must ask as I am so new on this cyberline....like one week new

I have been answering an amount of emails-rather respectfully and have met M/many VERY wonderful folk and am exchanging pleasantries and ideas. Had one situation where someone was irate as I did not answer their second & third email quickly enough to suit them and so I posted a journal entry explaining how overwhelmed with mail and that if patient a reply to all would be forthcoming….fine

But now a second situation has arisen…I rcvd a rather pushy msg 1st suggesting much not proper between total strangers and replied that as W/we are strangers such as he suggested was not proper and some protocol is to be followed. I immediately rcvd a second email-again not as respectful as I would have liked and still suggesting/pushing such activities as meeting at a hotel for various play, Queening etc.

Well, I must admit I lost My temper and bitched him out!! Yes, rather severely as I was quite annoyed.
Apparently this offended him greatly!! Imagine??!!
He told Me so and none too kindly

So My final reply…

ahhhh but I thought this realm required such procedures. and you specifically said you would not continue the transgression then contradicted yourself, xxxxx.

many here thrive on just such abuse and if you are not one of such...that is fine...do not take it so personally.....for W/we are running deeply on the dark side here...and I thought it particularly well done...

however if this is not your wish...so be it......
may you find whatever happiness you seek....
MH

did I severely misstep? is it not arrogance and abuse My Right as a Domina? Must I baby the arrogant and treat them w/kid gloves or is what I did to be expected from Some such as Myself??  I mean, W/we are not afterall on Myspace or some such site but on CollarMe where in My opinion this is not such a faux pas...Please give Me your honest opinion here asap. I would hate to lose faith in Myself or feel obliged to hold My tongue here-pehaps in future I should simply refrain from replying at all? oh but to think of the fun I will miss....and did I not attempt to kindly rectify his little ego?

Wondering,
Mistress Howl

(in reply to accipitres)
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