RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (Full Version)

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sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/18/2008 6:02:27 AM)

why i identify myself as submissive because as it stated in my journal this week - it takes a strong woman to offer her master (in this case Daddy) the gift of submission for a weak woman has nothing to give.

words i live by via Daddy

a M/s dynamic would never fit my personality type and who i am.



littleone35 -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/18/2008 6:14:53 AM)

I am a submissive because i still make my own choices.  I  belong to Master but i am my own person.  Master does not want me to be a slave he wants a submissive because he wants someone who can do what they need to do without having to consult him on everything.  If i want to go out and buy something i do not have to consult with him before i spend the money.  Things like that.

Matt's littleone



chamberqueen -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/18/2008 6:48:17 AM)

In the beginning of my relationship I considered myself a "sub who was slavishly devoted".  : )  Completely my own description.  My world revolves around Him and I feel most fulfilled that way.

When he started considering me a slave I had to take a look at my internal definition.  I had considered a slave to be in a live in situation, which mine was not.  I realized that didn't have to be true.  I am "on call" 24 hours a day.  When I am given a task I am often given a lot of leeway in how to perform it which I had considered more sublike, but I realize it is simply because my Master enjoys seeing my creativity.  He enjoys my intelligence and curiosity and willingness to try new things and this gives me an outlet to show them.  He also feels more protective of me than of His subs. 

I feel very proud to be a slave.  My Master is a black man, but there is no connotation of slavery as in what the African Americans or other ethnic groups have gone through.  I have willingly turned myself over to be directed by someone whom I know will guide, protect, and adore me.  He considers me His almost perfect diamond, and His job to finish polishing me.  He is proud of all of my vanilla accomplishments as well as those within the lifestyle.  When I complete difficult tasks (and some truly go beyond anything I ever thought I would do) He shows His appreciation.  I am never told that I am ONLY a slave, but in His eyes the title raises me in His esteem.  He has other subs - when He gets together with Him He is still in charge but they are basically together so that each party can have fun for a session.  I am His special pet, the one He watches over, and the only one He says He never wants to release.





OsideGirl -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/18/2008 7:25:19 AM)

I consider myself a submissive because I don't like the word slave. To me the word "slave" is a negative, involuntary, terrible thing. What I go through is in no way similar to what people who are really slaves go through. So, I choose not to label my relationship with something that I consider a negative.



BitaTruble -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/18/2008 7:37:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

if YOU identify as a "slave" why do you use that word and not submissive?


The short answer: 

First, I'm not all that submissive. Caring, mothering, nurturing, obedient, yes.. truly submissive.. not so much. [;)]

Second, I just don't have the willingness to make a choice that would result in a consequence which would make me uncomfortable or force me into a mask of some sort.

The long answer:

::partial repost::

I think it's important to understand about choices and options. I know I've heard a hundred times if I've heard it once, ... you always have the choice to leave.

When I examine that in depth, I find that it's not the choice that's even the issue, it's the consequence of the choice that matters. To leave means I am stripped of my own truth, my core, the essence of who I am. To leave is a lie and a betrayal of trust to my word, my being and my soul. To be other than myself is to wear a mask and fake my life. Depending on your perspective life is either too damn long or too damn short to fake it. Can I physically walk out the door, get in a cab and go somewhere else? No, I cannot. The shell of my body can, certainly, but that shell leaves behind everything that's important, everything that really matters, that does make me unique and the body walking out that door is someone else entirely. It's not me. Not now, not today, not in this moment.

So, I call myself a slave because, in essense and by my personal definitions, I don't have the ability to change and I'm not willing to suffer the consequences of trying. It's either be a slave or hide my reality. I don't fall on my knees before the whole world. There are, in fact, very few who have the power and presence to effect me in that way but with those few - the ones who can drop me to my knees with a glance, make me crawl and do anything and everything for them - with those I'm stripped of a certain freedom of choice. If someone else can strip me of that choice against my will and I've already said I'm not all that submissive, then slave as a label covers it for me. Even better than the label of slave is the label of Celeste .. but I always end up having to explain that one, too. At least 'slave' gives me a starting point. [8D]





genevieve66 -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/18/2008 8:11:43 AM)

People seem to think Celeste that the term slave denotes a weaker, or lesser type of woman. That is absolutely ot the case. It really is quite simple for me, I am his slave, not a slave. In the "world at large" I am a rather aggressive, definitely outspoken woman. I identify as a businesswoman and a feminist. For him I am slave because he wishes me to be, and that is all I need.  He is my Master, but he is also the man I am very deeply in love with and to be called his slave is the most beautiful, and most fulfilling thing in my entire life. 



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/18/2008 8:16:23 AM)

Fox and Angel are MY slaves, but they are not just slaves. Outside of our relationships, Fox is a submissive and Angel is a switch (now). They do not identify as slaves, per say, but they are owned by me and they identify as my slave. Its just a buzz word so that others can grasp the relationship easier, since as far as we are concerned, we all know our roles and dont care what we or anyone else calls us. I did make a joke a while ago that Fox is a Sherpa and Angel a Serf just so we didnt have to get into the why a slave why not a sub discussion anymore.

DV



Missokyst -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/18/2008 9:28:33 AM)

I am submissive when a man inspires it from me, but not in general.  In my life I have done the slave thing quite by accident and I will never allow that in my life, again. 
Kyst



Aynne -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/18/2008 11:11:42 AM)

I am  *his* slave, and that is the most amazing word I have heard. Used to cringe at it, didn't get it, recoiled at the sound of it even. Now? I can think of no better way to spend the rest of my life. Don't ask me to tell you how in hell that happened, I can't even figure it out. [;)] 
 



DaddyDomsgirl -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/18/2008 11:15:42 AM)

i'm submissive to Daddy....as i still get to make decisions on my own(sometimes)....and can think for myself.......that i don't need Daddy to always tell me what to do...not do.....stuff like that...i feel as for a slave....it means not having a say over anything in your life...i like still having a say over somethings...



RedwingsPet -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/30/2008 7:54:39 PM)

If someone asks me at random, I say submissive. But then after talking to them I reveal that I am actually a pet.

So I say there should be a third option! like an 'Other'. While I am submissive, Master refers to me as 'Pet' or 'Kitty' and often treats me as such.



smartalex -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/30/2008 8:05:20 PM)

What he said, the one with the beautiful hair.

Both my master and I refer to me as his property & as owned. But he also encourages my discussion and opinion, which don't fit my internal and nebulous definition of slave.



porcelain26 -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/30/2008 10:23:43 PM)

Oooo...I love this topic!! One of my favorite things about BDSM is that it let's those who practice create their own 'world'.

In my 'world', I identify as both! hehehe. I am absolutely a slave, which to me means that I give all control to another person; He has the right to do whatever He wants with or to me, and I mean this very literally. I get harassed all the time when I say this by people saying "So, if he wanted you to go rob a bank or kill people you would?" The best part about any kind of D/s relationship is the trust involved. I trust my Owner without reservation; He is cruel, calculating, frighteningly intelligent, undeniably dominant, evil incarnate, generous, kind, thoughtful (and thought provoking), and He is the axis upon which I rotate *grins* I know Him well enough to say that I have no limits with Him whatsoever, because I trust Him enough to know He would never, EVER cause me true harm. I hold nothing at all back from Him, not a thought, not an emotion, not a desire, fantasy, wish, plan, or fear; and I know that I'm completely safe in doing so. For these reasons, I am completely and utterly, His slave.

However! I'm also a submissive. I love to serve and care for and please other people in any way that I can, it's the most basic part of me; my core foundation upon which every other aspect of who I am is built.

I am a slave to my Owner, and Him alone....to anyone else, I'm just a sub ;)



sillyslaveboy -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/31/2008 12:36:37 AM)

i will keep this one short and simple: i identify myself as a slave because i was serving like one and am pretty able to make it further. Still i will not have problems being treated as a sub. :)

"I" would not drop a Domme for giving me too much freedom if "I" like her.

*edits due to grammar*



CdnExplorer -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/31/2008 4:49:17 AM)

I identify as a submissive because there are some things I simply can't allow someone to take control of. For example my finances. I've also found that if something really difficult is asked of me that it is very hard to simply obey without talking about it. I'm just too independent to not have the final veto on where my lfie is going, which is something I would have to give up in order to really consider myself a slave. This is all subject to change of course, given how much my understanding of my kink side has changed over the last year there's no telling where I could really be in a few years time.



Sandyshores29718 -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/31/2008 5:09:52 AM)

*fast reply*

I call myself submissive cause in my mind a slave has gave up their right to say no and I will never give up that right. If it was not for that then I'd call myself a slave at times. I walk the fine line between submissive and slave to be honest, but like I said in my mind to become a slave is being willing to give up all rights and thats something I can not do.

My play partner calls me slave, but I will grumble back submissive 95% of the time. Really it all depends on how a person definds sub/slave. Another issue with me is I will not call someone Master. With the way  I believe it goes against what I am taught. Now, I am NOT saying it is wrong, so people please do not take it that way. This is my personal feelings.



opposingtwilight -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/31/2008 5:53:51 AM)

I simply prefer the term slave, to be honest.

There was a time when I identified as a submissive for much the same reasons as CdnExplorer but I guess you could say I have reached a point where I know that I -can- surrender control of those things, should I ever find a person I know can be trusted with that control.



stripmymanhood -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/31/2008 6:12:27 AM)

for me...i feel while i'm currently a submissive...as i'm not owned...i think of myself as a slave...

though i know many definitions vary....i think of it as a slave gives themself to a person...the sub gives themself to a scene...



SlaveSubtoserve -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/31/2008 7:16:15 AM)

.......have been a hybrid slave/sub to 2 special women in my past- been/am a sub to other Dommes- a regular guy out in the general world. i say hybrid because that best describes having trusted Her with everything but then accepting that She returned some choices to me from the start and over time so...



peppermint -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/31/2008 7:26:46 AM)

Gary and I prefer to use the word "submissive" to describe me, and "Dom" to describe him.  No particular reason for it. 



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