RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (Full Version)

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leadership527 -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/31/2008 7:32:17 AM)

Mine is a "slave" because I call her such.  In her own mind, she isn't any sort of BDSM label.  She's just herself, pleasing me as she's always tried to do.  I call her slave mostly because I like the word.  I don't honestly believe there is much difference between the two words in actual usage.



Mercnbeth -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/31/2008 7:46:56 AM)

quote:

if YOU identify as a "slave" why do you use that word and not submissive?

this slave identifies as slave because she has entered into a Master/slave relationship.  If our relationship was Dominant/submissive and NOT Master/slave, this slave would not identify with the word "slave".  to us, there is a distinct difference between "submissive" and "slave", and there is nothing greater than or less than with regards to either.
 
He requires this slave to use the word "slave" when referring to herself.  it is representative of the position this slave has been graciously given by Master in our Master/slave relationship.

quote:

if YOU identify as a "submissive" why do you use that word and not slave?

this slave uses that word to describe her personality, in that submitting to others is her knee-jerk reaction to the world and folks that are in it.  becuase she chose to be owned by Master, He directs her submissive nature to those He chooses...it isn't left to her to serve all who cross her path anymore. 
 
this slave uses that word to describe her preferred relationship orientation. submissive to another's dominant control over her has been the most fulfilling relationship style and the best way for this slave to thrive in any sort of relationship with another...intimate or not.
 
this slave also uses that word to describe her preferred sexual orientation, in that she is most fulfilled and aroused when submitting her mind and body to another's sexual desires, without limit, for their use.  this slave has been informed by several people that "bottom" or "bedroom submissive" would be another way to describe it.



aries4u2own -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/31/2008 9:39:34 AM)

I am a submissive cause i am not collared, but when collared i am owned and a slave



OTKkindaGirl -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/31/2008 9:58:13 AM)

me too.  i am a submissive with slave tendancies, unless i am owned.  i am very service oriented and mindful of needs.  when i am owned, there is no choice in the matter, i am a slave to the one that i serve.  who would not slave for the one that they love? 



chenDawg -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/31/2008 10:04:52 AM)

I identity as a sub and not a slave because I'm way too cocky and have far too large of an ego to just be 'owned' by someone.
Mind of a dom in the body of a sub sort of deal I suppose  [;)]



akisha -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/31/2008 10:26:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

Please note, I'm not asking what the difference is, nor am I asking which is better or any of the normal stuff that people get into arguments about. I just want to know firsthand, from personal experience:

if YOU identify as a "slave" why do you use that word and not submissive?
if YOU identify as a "submissive" why do you use that word and not slave?

Thank you in advance for staying on topic and not getting into the typical arguments.


Easy answer....

I have chosen the "label" of submissive because that is the role (for lack of a better word) that I connect with, in this realm of my life.

I may one day be a slave to my Master, but in my version of the meaning of slave, that will take time, experience with each other and trust.



faerytattoodgirl -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/31/2008 10:27:26 AM)

i am a sub because i am tasty and less than 6 grams of fat.



possessedone -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/31/2008 12:04:49 PM)

i am a slave.  i am not everyone's slave, i am my Master's slave.  Being such does not make me less of a person or better than anyone else, it is just who and what i am.  It took me many years to come to terms with that through much internal struggle.  Now i can embrace who and what i am and be comfortable in my own skin.



IvyMorgan -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/31/2008 1:51:21 PM)

I'm submissive, because I don't feel comfortable with the label "slave".  Past experience has defined what "slave" means to me, and I don't want to be that person again, so I'm submissive.  Even if I fit other people's definition of a "slave".

I'm a submissive, because I can say no.



DaddyDomsgirl -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/31/2008 4:41:36 PM)

i'm a submissive.....i have been trained as a slave also....but i can't be a slave....i have to be able ot think for myself and say no if i don't like something...during my training a slave has no say over anything that goes on in her live or with her body....i have to have some control over stuff like that.



metalmiss -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/31/2008 9:47:42 PM)

When i first came onto the scene i found myself most comfortable identifying myself as a submissive. Because i have a submissive nature, because to call myself a slave would have suggested, in my opinion, that i was willing to give more of myself than i was comfortable with at that point in my journey. i stuck with that happily for 7 years.

When i met my Master, i changed my label. i changed it because for the first time i felt that i completely let go, that i was now capable and comfortable in both openly giving everything of myself in the depth of my submission & being seen to do so.

It was a big step for me, and i have never really deeply considered it on those terms.. A very interesting OP.. Thank you for that [:)] x



scarlettjinx -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (7/31/2008 10:10:28 PM)

Papa calls me his submissive (actually, he calls me his pet, toy, wife, ect. but you know what I mean). I, however, consider myself a slave, because I am dependant upon him. I do all the household things. I cook, clean, care for our son, do most of the caring of his animals (they are only his. I do not consider them mine at all)except the litterbox, act as his personal assistant, and generally ensure that home is a place he can come to to relax and be pampered like a king. The only household duty I am not responsible for and that I know nothing about is the finances. In return for all that I do, my needs are provided for.
However, he and I both feel that the olden time marital laws (your wife is esscentially your property or your posession, ie slave) fit us better. That is how we choose to live our life. He can do as he wishes with me, and I agree to take it and try harder to please him (that doesn't mean he beats me, but I feel he would have the right if he chose to).That being said, If he were to ever hurt our son in some way, all bets are off and I will not be his sub or slave. I will be the lead suspect in his murder.



shadowcd -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (8/1/2008 1:08:40 PM)

I prefer the term pet though not as it applies to pet/role-play(not that, that isn't fun too :D ) rather like a teachers pet sort of idea :)   doing my best to please while at the same time learning and growing under the direction and control of the Domme. 




whitesocks -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (8/3/2008 9:40:45 AM)

I chose submissive because slave is too absolute. I want to be submissive but still retain my basic human rights. Slavery in general doesn't do anything for me, although in a purely sexual context I like the idea of establishing the limits then within those limits being entirely submissive. Sex slave for play, but otherwise independent. 



samaraqzetax -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (8/3/2008 10:30:44 AM)

I choose submissive, because I am too overtly independent, and need my own freedom. However, when reflecting inwards upon myself, I do believe I could be a "slave", but only under the right circumstances and with the right Mistress. I think I would very much enjoy slavery in the right hands....now only if those right hands would find me....



Daddysredhead -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (8/3/2008 10:59:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066

I'm a slave to my Owner...nobody else.  I couldn't give anybody else the level of devotion and submission that I give her, and I wouldn't want to.


Shawn's reply pretty much sums it up for me.  [:)]



shiazn03 -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (8/3/2008 11:01:58 AM)

haha, this is a very common question.

i'm a submissive, through and through, and i identify myself as a sub not a slave because in my own understand the of the words, i need the ability to make decisions.  this is not to say that slaves can't make decisions however, they are not allowed to.  the ultimate decision making falls on their Masters/Mistresses.  i don't mind the other aspects of being a slave such as protocols and labels, however, i need to feel that i have the ability to make a decision when i want to even if i don't exactly use that ability very often.

there are exceptions to the rules where if i trust a Master enough, i will submit to Him as a slave, if He desires.  or if it is going to be a one time session, i will discuss my limits and such prior to submitting to Him as a slave.

[:D]



TysGalilah -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (8/3/2008 11:09:39 AM)

submissive
   to his dominance and control
yet, I have often felt he owned all of me emotionally and physically.  I have always called him Master.  He calls me his and his submissive.
 
I don't use the term slave to describe my role in his life.   I feel he has never ( wanted ) taken over control of my life and many of the life choices I make he leaves up to me.  His choice and preference.  shrugs
 
right now I don't know if I am either.  and feel lost.



Hisgirl2playwith -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (8/3/2008 11:38:19 PM)

i so totally agree. Also, with me, being a submissive gives me too many options to hold back things that might be too uncomfortable, and i don't ever really want to be given the choice to hold anything back. Although i have freedom to make my own choices, i also know that if He wishes something, it's going to happen, when He wants, how He wants, where He wants, and with no questions from me. Well ok, maybe one or two lol. i am VERY proud to be my Master's slave, it holds no negative connotations for me at all, and the word slave sets up a tingling in me that submissive just doesn't.

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelain26

Oooo...I love this topic!! One of my favorite things about BDSM is that it let's those who practice create their own 'world'.

In my 'world', I identify as both! hehehe. I am absolutely a slave, which to me means that I give all control to another person; He has the right to do whatever He wants with or to me, and I mean this very literally. I get harassed all the time when I say this by people saying "So, if he wanted you to go rob a bank or kill people you would?" The best part about any kind of D/s relationship is the trust involved. I trust my Owner without reservation; He is cruel, calculating, frighteningly intelligent, undeniably dominant, evil incarnate, generous, kind, thoughtful (and thought provoking), and He is the axis upon which I rotate *grins* I know Him well enough to say that I have no limits with Him whatsoever, because I trust Him enough to know He would never, EVER cause me true harm. I hold nothing at all back from Him, not a thought, not an emotion, not a desire, fantasy, wish, plan, or fear; and I know that I'm completely safe in doing so. For these reasons, I am completely and utterly, His slave.

However! I'm also a submissive. I love to serve and care for and please other people in any way that I can, it's the most basic part of me; my core foundation upon which every other aspect of who I am is built.

I am a slave to my Owner, and Him alone....to anyone else, I'm just a sub ;)



MRandme -> RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa? (8/4/2008 4:01:34 AM)

~FR~

i began as my Master's sub. i had no experience at all, so new i still had that 'new subby smell' LOL!   He told me once in the beginning that He felt i would end up as more of a slave than a sub, but that we would see where the road took us. As He taught me, i began to yearn for more -- more controls over me, over my life.  For me, the control makes me feel safe and secure. 

In appearances, becoming His slave had no outward effect on my life.  i work the same job, raise my youngster, do the things i used to do... the difference is inside, can't be seen by those who would not understand.  Only little things show -- the fact that i have stopped chewing my nails down to nubs, that my hair is growing longer, that i smile more and am more relaxed.

i am His, and have never felt more content than when i am wearing a collar and leash, and sitting at His feet. He does not seek to control every action or moment of my day, but i go through my life with Him in my mind -- would He approve, what would He want me to do, etc.

That said, i don't know that i would be a slave to any other Man. There is something in Him that draws me to Him, makes me want to kneel for Him.  His Mastery is exactly right for my personality.  Though i am His slave i connot say i have no limits -- i have His limits, which are such that i am not afraid of what He would require of me.

For me, the difference between being His sub and His slave is that when i did so, i gave up control to Him, promising my honesty and  my obedience, my loyalty.  i am free to make requests and required to make my preferences, feelings, and needs known to Him, but i do not expect when i do so that i will be given my way -- the choices are His.

g



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