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SteelofUtah -> RE: ~~I've been independent so long It's Hard for me to Submit~~ (7/21/2008 1:54:48 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Steel, you said that dominant is what you are, not what you do. Is that always true? Are you your own boss or do you take orders from someone else? If pulled over by a police officer do you try to out alpha him or do you apologise for speeding and assure him you won't do it again? What about interactions with your parents, do you insist on being top dog there?
I do not see any of those things defining a Dominant person. Am I Dominant in all my actions? I believe that I carry myself in an appropriate fashion Most of the time. I have my moments when I lose control and need to remind myself of who I am.
I don't believe that taking orders makes you submissive, I do as my Boss says regularly because I agreed to when I took the job and when his or her requests outweigh my agreement then I ask for better compensation. When a Cop pulls me over I get paronoid not because he is a Cop but because for over a decade of my life I was a Drug Addict and have had some bad run ins with cops, however cops are the Law and I believe it is important to respect and abide my the law, do I always succeed .... nope.... but I try. When a Cop pulls me over all but once I KNEW why and so I admitted my wrong and accepted my Ticket. The once that I did not know you bet you I got out of my car and checked to make sure that what he said was in fact there which it was and then a admitted my wrong again and went to fix the problem.
My Parents and I have a new found respect for one another. My Mother has 4 children and I am the only one who still speaks to her, mostly because of the fact that our entire life she was a guilter and a complainer and when I was 20 I sat her down and explained to her that I have no problem listening to her complaints however I will not always agree with them, I may always be her baby but I am no longer A baby and so when it comes to interaction with my parents we now enteract as equals and there is no longer that childlike need to submit to her rule.
I get the points that you are making but you need to understand that being Dominant in my world means being the Dominant party of a chosen relationship . It is not something I do it is how I am. Yes it cas caused problems in Vanilla frienships and the like but in the end I have remained for the most part who I am, because it isn't something that can be turned on or off like a switch.
That being said there are times in which I have to follow MANY RULES and do what is asked of my by MANY parties and continue on in this fashion because it is what is necessary to better the entire house, I do not see this as being submissive, not they was we see submissive in this lifestyle anyway, I see it as doing what is necessary for the greater good of my Family and house.
In that belief yes I ALWAYS am Dominant because I but the necessity of the whole family or relationship before my own desires because it is the responsible thing to do and I don't think andi would still be with me if I didn't give up what I want for what We Need.
And going with my OP, I also don't have to relearn how to be Dominant after long periods of being under someone elses rule. When it comes time to being back to my home and my family I am right back being the Dominant person that I am relied on to be. It is not something one can turn on or off, At least not the way that *I* see it.
Steel
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