ELUSIVE1 -> RE: What is your 'Reality' (7/23/2008 2:00:28 PM)
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ORIGINAL: softpjOS quote:
ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1 what is YOUR reality... My reality: I am married, 20+ years to a very understanding, accepting, caring and loving vanilla husband. We agreed to me finding a Dommes to serve. I have been with Her for over 5 years now. We started online and after two years of racking up frequent flyer/driving miles, myself and my family moved closer to where She lives. We went from over 1200 miles apart to *just around the corner*. So I can relate to both sides of the online/rt debate. My daily life consists of running two households and all of the errands, chores, headaches and happiness included in such. Living in the country means long trips to find civilization/run errands. It also means *chores* many don't face. Canning veggies, helping process "fresh" food (She kills them, i help process the meat). It also comes with *recreation* that many do not get to enjoy. Bonfires, hiking that simply requires walking out the back door, watching the wild life play in the back yard. Barns, woods, a swimming pool all at our private disposal for play when we actually find the time. Between the two households we have a combined 8 adult offspring, 3 1/2 (one due next month lol) grandchildren, 3 dogs, 9 1/2 cats (one feral that i'm trying to tame) and 30 chickens. All of those come before the 3 consenting adults that make up this poly/not poly/i dont care what label you stick on it...... relationship. In Her home, She has one *child (19yrs old)* still at home. He requires 24/7 direct adult supervision due to a brain injury many years ago. She is his mother, caregiver and as such, Her life is not entirely Her own... never will be. A fact that I find myself struggling with from time to time. She also has 3 young adult daughters and anyone with *girls* knows the headaches/joys those can bring. lol My home has the revolving door. One kid that comes home from college here and there, one that has currently moved back home due to the economic crunch. Along with Hers that comes over quite often to hang out with the *guys*. Two of my *kids* live out of state and i miss them and wish gas prices would come down so i could go visit. Within our M/s relationship we find balance and joy in the little things life allows. We also struggle daily with the *reality* of it all. We are involved within our local community, attend munches, social functions, special events/classes as life allows. Our munch leader is quite used to my "rsvp" saying... there is a 50/50 chance of us making an appearance this month. Occasionally my husband will attend a function with us, he is included in every aspect of our relationship, but that does not mean he takes part in every aspect. Simply put, there are no closed doors. No secrets, no lies. I am not a frequent poster on any sites as I'm not one to open myself up to people. I define "Friends" as people you allow close enough to know what will truly hurt you most. A sad fact that has embedded its self in my mind with the harsh experiences/reality of my life. It is only very recently that i've started venturing outside of the walls and testing the waters again. It is with Her help that i am trying to see people/life in a new perspective and be less judgemental and more forgiving/understanding. Each individual aspect of our relationship, M/s - friend-husband plays a vital role in making our *reality* work. Take away any part of it and it would fall apart. It takes work, trust, communication and understanding to thrive. The occasional "escape from reality" doesn't hurt either :) quite an amazing life you live, thank you for sharing
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