So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs Safety?

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So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs Saf... - 7/20/2008 8:42:13 AM

lovingdomwanted

Posts: 95
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline

Been on line today and a Dom wants to meet without any normal phone contact or give out the usual safety details.......Apparently, there are loads of subs that do this and I am either Not A Sub or A Man in Disguise.....lol

You people in the the UK will remember the Yorkshire Ripper.....Can you imagine how easy his job would be today, if he just logged onto the internet and demanded his victims meet him under the guise of being a Dom?

Am I being too overprotective of myself?

Oh, BTW, before anyone tells me the obvious, I have blocked him......lol

xxxxxx

Post #: 1

RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/20/2008 8:47:59 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Well whatever you are... you won't be harmed and you won't be used by a quick hook up. Sounds good to me! lol Let the little people play... but from the sounds of it... they will be playing alone. Be safe... you won't be sorry. Works for me. lol

(in reply to lovingdomwanted)

Post #: 2

RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/20/2008 8:50:26 AM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

he could just as easily be a female sub.

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I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to lovingdomwanted)

Post #: 3

RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/20/2008 8:58:41 AM

lovingdomwanted

Posts: 95
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline

Thanks Locit and Faerytatoogirl

Exactly........He has now challenged that I spoke to him a year ago and gave him my Number.........So I asked him to message my number back to me.......Guess what guys.........He lost it.....Yeah Right.....lol

Oh and Faerytatoogirl........I really hope not......

Who's for a National Union of Subs?........Or international.......lol

xxxxx

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 4

RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/20/2008 9:01:17 AM

StrongSpirit

Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline

There are a ton of men on this site looking for women.

It always amazes me how women will put up with crap like this. Almost as much as some of the things they refuse to overlook.

(in reply to lovingdomwanted)

Post #: 5

RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/20/2008 9:06:08 AM

SirMIkeSD

Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline

If the person will not provide what you need to feel safe about meeting, that makes me think they are hiding something, playing a game, or a freaking nut case, or all of them and more.

Mike
,\

(in reply to StrongSpirit)

Post #: 6

RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/20/2008 9:09:28 AM

lovingdomwanted

Posts: 95
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline

Thanks for The Dom Prospective.........

Didn't you quite get the hint from my opener, that us Subs are NOT willing to put up with it.....

Or are you a very rare Dom who is supporting us subs?.......

If So, Welcome Aboard and Nice Meeting You!

xxxxx

(in reply to StrongSpirit)

Post #: 7

RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/20/2008 9:15:02 AM

lovingdomwanted

Posts: 95
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline

Thanks SirMikeSD,

I like to ask a Dom how would he feel if his little sister or any female member wanted to go off and meet a someone that they have not spoken to off the net. Most say, valid point. This prat said......'Well it's her life!' .....I said, could be her death...........He said......'Could be a chance to meet more Subs at her funeral'.......Lovely guy......lol

xxxxxx

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)

Post #: 8

RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/20/2008 9:16:44 AM

CruelDesires

Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

You blocked him?

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingdomwanted
Oh, BTW, before anyone tells me the obvious, I have blocked him......lol

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingdomwanted
Exactly........He has now challenged that I spoke to him a year ago and gave him my Number.........So I asked him to message my number back to me.......Guess what guys.........He lost it.....Yeah Right.....lol

*Shrugs*

CD

_____________________________

Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.
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(in reply to lovingdomwanted)

Post #: 9

RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/20/2008 9:23:47 AM

lovingdomwanted

Posts: 95
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline

Yes CruelDesires,

I have blocked him.....After I asked him to message my number back to me and he couldn't........

But thank you so much for doubting me........Nice to know Doms come to The Ask a Sub Forum and have a say...........

Thanks for taking the time

xxxxxx

(in reply to CruelDesires)

Post #: 10

RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/20/2008 9:30:54 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingdomwanted

But thank you so much for doubting me........Nice to know Doms come to The Ask a Sub Forum and have a say...........

Thanks for taking the time

Dang. You're off my must-email list, that's for sure. Ya might want to chill out a bit, ldw. He's not the last jerk you'll ever speak with. It is unattractive to allow jerky people to rule your life like this.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to lovingdomwanted)

Post #: 11

RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/20/2008 9:39:44 AM

lovingdomwanted

Posts: 95
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline

Pray Tell RedMagic,

What's LDW?

As for ruling my life.....Never.

But I am sure that Subs need to be aware that there are Dom's out there that want them to take such risks with their lives/well-being.

Or should Subs who have been appraoched in this way, SHRUG it off and wait to see if an unfortunate Sub is found dead somewhere?

Thanks for taking part.....

xxxxxx

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 12

RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/20/2008 9:42:59 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

Loving
Dom
Wanted

Do you believe anger, sarcasm and nastiness are the best way to attract such a person into your life? Do you think it is attractive to assume female submissives are so clueless that they have never considered the possibility that abusive men exist?

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to lovingdomwanted)

Post #: 13

RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/20/2008 9:48:56 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

It has been my observation, and that of other people on my group, that people often want to meet without giving out any information, pics, description, ect, because it is their intent to observe you first, so they can decide if you are someone they wish to approach.
We get a lot of that type who want to come to munches. Where is it and what time? And they don't join us.. but off to the side in the restaurant we will see a single person dining alone, peeking into the room trying to see if anyone looks like a bondage model.
You are less likely to find a killer out there, then to be watched by a coward.
Kyst

(in reply to lovingdomwanted)

Post #: 14

RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/20/2008 9:56:59 AM

lovingdomwanted

Posts: 95
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline

Opps, Sorry got the letters round wrong......

And No, not being Sarcastic.....Just up-front........Sorry if that offends.

Thanks for taking Part

xxxxx

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 15

RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/20/2008 10:02:46 AM

lovingdomwanted

Posts: 95
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline

Sadly,

There aren't many munches in Brum and if you are in a certain profession, as I am, we could not attend even if we wanted to.

However, a munch would let the sub see the Dom.

This Dom wanted to meet without phone calls, giving any details, such as phone number or Registration number and drive off to a hotel.......Sorry if alarms bells started ringing, but I value Life

Thanks for replying

xxxxx

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 16

RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/20/2008 10:14:06 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

We're not saying he was in the right. We're not saying you should have met him. However, what I am saying is that you are red-flagging me into next week, and if you are anything like this in email/IM/phone interactions, I can see any man interested in drama-avoidance dropping you like a hot rock.

You didn't like his approach. You blocked him. T-h-e E-n-d.

There's plenty of men on this site who are for real, and genuinely looking. I'm sorry this guy had bad social skills. Maybe he was married, maybe he was homicidal, maybe he was insecure in his kink (a la Missokyst's example). Maybe he's just lousy at meeting women. If that's all it takes to send you into orbit, I don't want to be around you the first time I do something you consider rude.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to lovingdomwanted)

Post #: 17

RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/20/2008 10:18:23 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I didnt mean a munch specifically.
I meant it is a similar situation to those guys who want to meet you without giving out details.
They don't want you to know who they are, so they can check you out first and see if you are someone they want to approach. They want to see you before you see them so that they can run away if you don't meet standard A B or C.
And any guy that expects you to drive off to the hotel is really hoping for someone who is desperate. Those guys are surprisingly successful
It isnt a matter of value of life in my opinion. It is whether it is worth my time to meet a coward.
It is rarely worth my time.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingdomwanted

This Dom wanted to meet without phone calls, giving any details, such as phone number or Registration number and drive off to a hotel.......Sorry if alarms bells started ringing, but I value Life

Thanks for replying

xxxxx

< Message edited by Missokyst -- 7/20/2008 10:49:50 AM >

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to lovingdomwanted)

Post #: 18

RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/20/2008 10:21:43 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs Safety?

Don't know.

What is it with submissives who allow them to do so?

(in reply to lovingdomwanted)

Post #: 19

RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/20/2008 10:43:04 AM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
Status: offline

Hi all,

Okay maybe i am not overly protective - and i have worked in the prosecuting attorney's office and have seen the worst of society and believe me its not pretty, but to me, what is the difference between you meeting him without all the added hoopla online tells you to do like you would a blind date or a stranger you met in a bar or at work or in the supermarket or mall or whatnot who you might strike up a conversation with because hell he is cute and funny, who wants to take you to dinner?    Personally, i would rather meet a guy prior to giving out information and tend to believe many guys and other women would probably be the same. I don't know a nickname online anymore than i know a body on the street without a name, but in either case i can't prove who he is without getting to know him off line and even then you make mistakes. You must keep a pretty isolated life with your concern everyone is a Yorkshire ripper and possibly getting murdered or hurt by strangers.  Just so you know for future reference, while serial killers are nothing to sneeze at, you would probably be more likely to be murdered by someone you know who is close to you, then get killed by someone you don't know. Most murders and violent crimes occur with people you know versus those who kill strangers like serial killers. I mean within the concept of BDSM do you have to do a let's see how BDSM you really are or are you as a woman capable of meeting a Man you found interesting based on conversation and get to know him? But if i don't like him -- i won't meet him -- its pretty simple.

I mean you have dated strangers in the past no?   Have you given your number to a stranger you happened to like and wanted to get to know more of, in hopes he will call? Do you get overly paranoid to meet someone for dinner or drinks or coffee where you start demanding information from him simply because he says lets have dinner?    Somehow i can't believe you have never done this off the internet, so why get so overly protective of yourself on it? I am not saying be stupid, i am saying get out and MEET someone who asks you to meet him, IF you like him.

While i think safety is good, i also think sometimes people online are way to over protective when they wouldn't be the same way in any other "stranger" meeting concept.   If you are worried about all the bad that could happen, you will never live enough to enjoy the good that happens more often then not.

If you like the guy, set up a public meeting -- say okay, lets meet at such and such at such and such time and then if you aren't comfortable going alone bring a friend with you and simply get to know him. If you don't like the guy then don't. I am presuming you have friends who know your interests no?

Sometimes you simply have to take a leap of faith. If you would date a stranger you haven't met on the internet, why be more concerned with a stranger on the internet who wants to meet off the internet quickly? Any person no matter how well you "think" you know them from the internet will be a stranger when you meet him or her because there is always the possibility they are just really good liars.    IF you like him, meet up with him -- in a group of friends at a party or gathering (then you can also see how he interacts with them and their take) if it makes you feel more comfortable and you never know, you may find you actually like the guy and he sucks at online communications and you may pass up that one special person in your life.

There are ways of meeting strangers without endangering yourself. IF you like the guy then do it, if you don't then don't. Its obvious you are more concerned with creating him into some player than getting to know him, so i would pretty much say don't waste anymore of your time or his.

Your desperation here and lack of thinking of ways to meet him without all the drama to me shows you are probably playing online just as much as you are accusing him of doing. That is not a critism but be careful your own self-righteousness in guise of protectiveness isn't a concept of turning the blame on others because you are afraid to take that step.

Good luck.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 7/20/2008 10:51:30 AM >

_____________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 20

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