Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs Safety?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs Safety? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/21/2008 7:34:14 AM   
dragon2760


Posts: 114
Joined: 5/8/2008
Status: offline 		I agree that maybe her choose of words were not the best in the world.  I also agree that maybe there is a little bit of overreaction on her part.  I agree that maybe there is bad communication on both sides here.  I never said he was a mass murderer.  I never said he actually intended her any harm.  As far as knowing the other side of the story we will probably never know since this is someone who can not even afford to have a phone conversation with someone he has communicated online with.  I was just agreeing with the OP that in her opinion that what he was asking her to do was not very - SAFE.  That the way he was reacting to her inquiries was not very - SANE.  And that because she would not meet him on his terms that his trying to quilt her into to do so anyway by telling her that she was then either not a sub or a man in disguise was not very - CONSENSUAL.

This is strictly my opinion which I feel that I am entitled too, whether I identify myself as submissive or not.

_____________________________

"When two people are alone together, and one of them is naked and tied up, and the other is standing over them holding whips and other torture implements, this is not the time to have a serious mismatch of expectations." Jay Wiseman

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/21/2008 7:45:18 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		Personally wouldn't it be much easier if we used our brains and communication skills a little more than our powers of imagination? Why does it seem that every male dom is potentially Peter Sutcliffe, Ted Bundy, Prince Charming, Vlad the Impaler, Genghis Khan, Mahatma Gandhi, a psychopath, social misfit, a philanthropist, a miracle worker, or Houdini?

Why not simply John Smith?

Instead of thinking up plots, characters and possible scenarios if you're interested wouldn't it be much simpler just to find out who is interested in meeting you?

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/21/2008 7:48:22 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dragon2760
This is strictly my opinion which I feel that I am entitled too, whether I identify myself as submissive or not.

Dragon.  Whatever your orientation, you are entitled to write your thoughts and opinion.
 
I see you have slipped in the SSC mantra which is one I do not subscribe to as its original intention has been abused.  But safe, sane and consensual is entirely subjective anyway.  Personally, I have met a couple of people without speaking on the phone first *waves coz some might be watching*.  It doesn't send up a red flag to me and is perfectly safe for me.  And for him to state she may be a man is hardly 'non consent' and pretty much standard - even here on the forums.
 
What I do suggest is that they simply were not compatable in outlook.  Overprotection or SSC doesn't really enter it IMO.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to dragon2760)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/21/2008 12:23:20 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		ya mean we shoulda talked on the phone first, gorgeous dark?

damn...

we should both be flogged....

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/21/2008 1:43:18 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		....promises, promises...
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/21/2008 3:51:23 PM   
apiercedkitty


Posts: 569
Joined: 2/22/2007
From: Michigan
Status: offline 		i have to agree with the majority here (or what i perceive as the majority as i didn't actually count the votes). But i have met several people without talking on the phone first or exchanging anything but first names. Of course, i hate talking on the phone anyway and i don't think i can learn anything about someone during a phone call that i couldn't if i just met at Starbucks anyway so, *shrug*. The only thing i can agree with the OP on is that i wouldn't meet and go to a hotel with a stranger. Just not something i, personally, would do. And, i could give a flying fu*k if someone tells me i'm not a sub or i must be a man... everyone's entitled to his/her own opinion.

_____________________________

normal is a setting on a washing machine...

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/21/2008 11:46:55 PM   
Racquelle


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline 		No matter what else was said up to that point, once the guy said "you aren't a true sub or you're a man because you ____________", he's an asshole in my book.  Maybe not an asshole who would murder you - in fact - more likely the kind of asshole to make you think after meeting him "well there's an hour of my life I am never going to get back".  I am generally in favor of getting the meet-n-greet done and out of the way as early as possible - but I'll be damned if I am going to consent to meet anyone who is openly hostile and antagonistic before even meeting me f2f.  Fuck 'em.  Life is just too short for that kind of bullshit.

(in reply to apiercedkitty)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/22/2008 1:29:43 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		You know what I used to hate?

Giving some guy I don't know my phone number (even if it WAS my cell)... and then, deciding that he wasn't my cup of tea. Yup. I hated that. Cause sometimes, no matter what I told the guy, he didn't seem to take no for an answer and would continually call - long after I'd expressed no interest.

I'd rather have met him without all that information up front. I figured that way, when we met face to face, I could see if I liked him well enough to share what to me, was more personal information.

I mean HELL!

Applebees is still Applebees whether he's there or not. And just because HE wanted to go from there to a hotel didn't mean we were GOING to! (It also didn't necessarily mean we weren't - as I discovered the day I met the man who would become my Master.)

Oooh DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!! Meeting him "blind" was the single most BEST decision I ever made in my life. And what a THRILL it was - is - continues to be!!

YOU are responsible for your safety. If you don't feel safe meeting without all those pieces of information then don't. But don't blame the other guy just cause HE didn't choose to have your level of concern. And don't presume that just because someone DOES choose to meet people without all that hoopla that they're the next serial killer or victim. Some of us simply choose a different path than you.

Oh yea... and choosing a different path doesn't mean the dominants are arrogant and the submissives are ignorant. It just means we're not doing what you do.

My "defense"? Most of the meetings I ever had took place at the same restaurant. I also went there a lot with my family. I got to know the staff and they knew that I was meeting people when they saw me come in alone. lol.. Not one man ever knew that I was getting thumbs up or thumbs down behind his back from everyone from the bartender to the bus boys - except my Master. He figured it out immediately. The other men were just always kind of impressed that they received such good service at that establishment. In truth, the wait staff were checking him out. If I'd have had a problem, there were any number of people in the near vicinity that I could have gone to for assistance - including the safety of the manager's office if it was that bad. I never asked them to keep an eye out for me. They just did.

The point is, it was MY safety, so I took responsibility for it rather than looking to people I didn't know (the men I was meeting) to do it for me. A phone number is no guarantee of anything - especially with throw away pay phones. For some reason relying on some guy who might have spent 15 bucks for a phone with some minutes purchased on it that he can just toss at a moment's notice is not my idea of a safety measure at all. And if *I'M* not giving out my home phone number, I'm sure as hell not asking a guy for his.

You might want to consider this the next time you want to get your sarcasm in gear just because some guy doesn't agree with you. 


juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 7/22/2008 1:38:19 AM >

(in reply to Racquelle)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/22/2008 1:41:13 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

You blocked him?

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingdomwanted
Oh, BTW, before anyone tells me the obvious, I have blocked him......lol


quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingdomwanted
Exactly........He has now challenged that I spoke to him a year ago and gave him my Number.........So I asked him to message my number back to me.......Guess what guys.........He lost it.....Yeah Right.....lol


*Shrugs*

CD


lol.. You caught that too huh?

Blocked him - yeaaaa...

juliet

(in reply to CruelDesires)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/22/2008 11:56:13 AM   
lovingdomwanted


Posts: 95
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you so much for that comment.........I have to say I was very polite when he first contacted me and then he suggested things that I has promised him before I became a member of this lovely site.  I obviously thought he had got me mixed up with someone else.

As for blocking him, yes I did......And now he has set up 3 other profiles, all of which I have blocked since the tell-tale signs reared their ugly head.

Thanks for those who gave their support.......Those that didn't, do you realise how hard it is for a sub to post anything on here?

But thank you for all who took their time to contribute......

Think this post has now been done to death.

Love and hugs

xxxxxxx 

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/22/2008 12:09:36 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		another case of "its not what I wanted to hear..."


*sigh*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to lovingdomwanted)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/22/2008 12:41:08 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		The three other profiles thing changes the dynamic.  I would have phrased things differently if you had made it clear at the beginning that he was cyberstalking you.

Use the "Report" button on the personals side of the site, and report each of the profiles he is using.  It's the only way Support will know of the abuse of the service.

My impression of the message boards, by the way, is that more subs post than Doms.

Good luck.  There really are decent, non-crazy, non-stalkeristic people who enjoy this kind of thing.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to lovingdomwanted)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/22/2008 1:38:51 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingdomwanted
do you realise how hard it is for a sub to post anything on here?


When did *this* happen?!!!!


_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to lovingdomwanted)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/22/2008 1:46:30 PM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingdomwanted
Exactly........He has now challenged that I spoke to him a year ago and gave him my Number.........So I asked him to message my number back to me.......Guess what guys.........He lost it.....Yeah Right.....lol


He lost your number sometime in a 12 month period?  Big deal!

I am doing good if I can find a number a week after I write it down. 



_____________________________

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/22/2008 3:09:11 PM   
BeIgnited


Posts: 191
Joined: 6/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

He lost your number sometime in a 12 month period? Big deal!

I am doing good if I can find a number a week after I write it down.


I think she meant that he claimed she had given him her number, but she knew she never actually had.
I've had people online to do this to me before, too. I know I've never spoken to them before, but they say we have/I've given them my number/sent them nekkid pictures.

(in reply to Aylee)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/22/2008 3:51:19 PM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BeIgnited

quote:

He lost your number sometime in a 12 month period? Big deal!

I am doing good if I can find a number a week after I write it down.


I think she meant that he claimed she had given him her number, but she knew she never actually had.
I've had people online to do this to me before, too. I know I've never spoken to them before, but they say we have/I've given them my number/sent them nekkid pictures.



OOoh, I LOVE it when they tell me that!! (I don't have naked pictures of me) I mean... 

"you have naked pictures of me? Why, then, you're all set!  Just take a minute - or spend some good quality time and make it a minute and a half, whack one off and get on with life. Have a good night. Bye..."

(I can be so supportive.)

juliet


< Message edited by julietsierra -- 7/22/2008 3:52:34 PM >

(in reply to BeIgnited)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/22/2008 6:50:17 PM   
AtlantisKing111


Posts: 181
Joined: 1/14/2005
Status: offline 		There is a word for such "Doms" ...... and it's either "idiot", "inexperienced", or "dangerous".


(in reply to lovingdomwanted)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/22/2008 6:52:43 PM   
angaothsi


Posts: 242
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		No you are not being over protective, you are being smart! Good for you! Remeber any HNG can get on here and claim to be a dom/master/lizard king/ etc. Take precautions!

_____________________________

He says she is immodest; Blames her amiss; What follows more, she murders with a kiss

(in reply to lovingdomwanted)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs... - 7/24/2008 1:58:40 PM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingdomwanted

Thanks Locit and Faerytatoogirl

Exactly........He has now challenged that I spoke to him a year ago and gave him my Number.........So I asked him to message my number back to me.......Guess what guys.........He lost it.....Yeah Right.....lol

Oh and Faerytatoogirl........I really hope not......

Who's for a National Union of Subs?........Or international.......lol

xxxxx


i dont know what's odder.  someone who claims to have spoken to you a year ago....

or someone who DID have something going with you, still had your number in the phone, calls you months after an ugly breakup, and is trying to remember why he had your number.  he remembered me....after i reminded him that he'd given me his home number, told me to call anytime, then his wife answered the phone.  mm-hmm, he remembered me then!

or a prospective dominant who didnt work out, who calls you in the wee hours and is surprised when you dont recognise his voice...when again, its been months since you talked.  oh and after 3 words?  when you're asleep?  c'mon.

some individuals are just silly.

kitten, who keeps numbers stored for about 6 months before deleting them

(in reply to lovingdomwanted)
Profile   Post #: 59
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: So What Gives With Doms Who Want To Endanger A Subs Safety? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109