RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women?

RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? (Full Version)

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InsaenPleasures -> RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? (7/21/2008 3:51:54 PM)
Actually I am married to a Dominant Woman. She and I are equals and at times when we did not have subs of our own or one between us, we keep each other happy by trading off. We always tease one another about making the other submit but truth be told our relationship is built on our mutual affection and respect for who we are. It helps that we are both laid back people and have a great deal in common with our mundane and BDSM interests. I know for myself I also feel stronger at times when I become involved with a sub because she has my back and I have hers. Its instant feedback and we can learn from one another in a safe environment. Yet the feedback can go both ways and if she may be going too far or I am going too far and not paying attention to a sub's needs, the other has no problem saying "Hey, step back a minute." There are a great many advantages to the situation but then I am biased. These kinds of relationships can work though and can do so rather well.

SirKaton -> RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? (7/21/2008 4:00:11 PM)
As defined by the D/s dynamic, no. I don't see how two Dominant's can function in a relationship WITHOUT friction of some sort. Now, if she is dominant in other areas of her life and even our interaction, then that is fine-my entire relationship is not defined by the D/ss dynamic.

Lockit -> RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? (7/21/2008 4:00:53 PM)
I know couples that are both dominant and most have another join them, but this dynamic just doesn't work for me. I don't like the struggle I have known with a dominant man. I love dominant men... oh yes... but living with them...lol yikes! It doesn't work because at some point there was a break from outside sources or life in general and two leaders with a differing way of dealing with it, ended up with emotional cracked heads. I am at an age now, where the fire dynamic's of two dominant's gets a lil old and I just want to sit in my rocking chair and take it easy. Could there be a dominant man out there, that I could work a great relationship out with? Oh yes, I am sure of it... but I am not sure I am willing to take the time and the chance of it not working... the heartache when it doesn't and ending up down the road a bit further, a bit older and crankier I am sure, with less time to start all over again. No... I will stick to the wonderful submissive male who may bring his own challenges to my life... but who at the end of the day rubs my feet and says, yes ma'am. I just kind of like it that way anyway.

Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? (7/21/2008 4:28:32 PM)
I have been with a Domme before, and I'd consider doing it again.

MzMia -> RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? (7/21/2008 6:30:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: InsaenPleasures Actually I am married to a Dominant Woman. She and I are equals and at times when we did not have subs of our own or one between us, we keep each other happy by trading off. We always tease one another about making the other submit but truth be told our relationship is built on our mutual affection and respect for who we are. It helps that we are both laid back people and have a great deal in common with our mundane and BDSM interests. I know for myself I also feel stronger at times when I become involved with a sub because she has my back and I have hers. Its instant feedback and we can learn from one another in a safe environment. Yet the feedback can go both ways and if she may be going too far or I am going too far and not paying attention to a sub's needs, the other has no problem saying "Hey, step back a minute." There are a great many advantages to the situation but then I am biased. These kinds of relationships can work though and can do so rather well. InsaenP, this is the type of dynamic I could imagine for myself. I don't see it as "switching", I see it as give and take for my partner. Thanks for explaining your personal dynamics so well, I hope you enjoy a lifetime of joy and happiness!

msprudence -> RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? (7/21/2008 6:46:34 PM)
I don't know about full time relationship, but I've had several amazing guests who defined themselves as Dominant, who wanted to explore sensory deprivation or just to be bound and caned...

Evility -> RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? (7/21/2008 7:22:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I don't understand why this perplexes some so. My husband, who considers himself dominant, desires Me to the ends of the earth. It really isn't that difficult of a concept. Perhaps you missed the word "monogamous".

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? (7/21/2008 7:24:16 PM)
Even with sexual monogamy in the primary relationship, it is entirely possible to have non sexual relationhips with submissives.

MisterBeast -> RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? (7/21/2008 7:25:27 PM)
I played a few games of round peg round hole with a Domme once, we destroyed a tv set, broke a couple of chairs and a table. made her neighbors a little mad too. But no, I didnt seek her out.

MzMia -> RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? (7/21/2008 7:32:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Evility quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I don't understand why this perplexes some so. My husband, who considers himself dominant, desires Me to the ends of the earth. It really isn't that difficult of a concept. Perhaps you missed the word "monogamous". I have enjoyed hearing about all the relationships between Dominant women and Dominant men, both monogamous and polygamous. I have to admit, at this stage of the game....monogamous is what I seek. So it is possible for Dominant women and Dominant men to be in a monogamous relationship! Hope springs eternal!

blacksword404 -> RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? (7/22/2008 12:20:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MzMia Are there any Dominant men here that are attracted to, or have had serious relationships with Dominant women? It sounds like a ready made war. Conan VS Sonja. In the end there will have to be some give and take.

Dnomyar -> RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? (7/22/2008 8:11:59 AM)
Lady Hibiscus. Who would be the alpha in the relationship? I agree with blacksword that there whould have to be some give and take but in the end there would still have to be an alpha.

Dnomyar -> RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? (7/22/2008 8:16:46 AM)
MzMia you desire an monogamous relationship but I pose to you that there still has to be an alpha in the relationship. So in reality either one or both of the parties has to be a Switch.

Asmodeus -> RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? (7/22/2008 8:20:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar Lady Hibiscus. Who would be the alpha in the relationship? I agree with blacksword that there whould have to be some give and take but in the end there would still have to be an alpha. That's an awfully black and white view of the world. Determining who is going to be alpha in everyday life is actually pretty easy. There are many things that she feels strongly about, and many things that I feel strongly about. Very few are things that overlap, and if they do, we learn to compromise on those issues. I guess, however, that if your definition of dominant must include the need to micro-manage everything in life, that it would be very difficult to have a relationship of equals. All I can speak to is my personal experience, and in that I have found that a relationship of equals is far more satisfying than romantic entaglement with a submissive.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? (7/22/2008 8:26:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Asmodeus quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar Lady Hibiscus. Who would be the alpha in the relationship? I agree with blacksword that there whould have to be some give and take but in the end there would still have to be an alpha. That's an awfully black and white view of the world. Determining who is going to be alpha in everyday life is actually pretty easy. There are many things that she feels strongly about, and many things that I feel strongly about. Very few are things that overlap, and if they do, we learn to compromise on those issues. I guess, however, that if your definition of dominant must include the need to micro-manage everything in life, that it would be very difficult to have a relationship of equals. All I can speak to is my personal experience, and in that I have found that a relationship of equals is far more satisfying than romantic entaglement with a submissive. Thanks, Asmodeus. Why DOES there have to be an alpha? Can't we share that role? Why will there not be a logical division of labor, the way there is in any household? There is friction in ANY relationship. If a person's dominance comes from a place of "I MUST be in charge at ALL times no matter what", then they are going to have a hard time dealing with another person that they are not controlling. I am very confident in who I am, and I have no problem stepping back and letting the other person get the job done. I am also capable of getting it done myself. Any problems can be discussed and ironed out, just as any two people would.

Dnomyar -> RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? (7/22/2008 8:29:51 AM)
Asmodeus. Black, white or color or what ever way you wish to look at it the result is the same. Micro managing has nothing to do with it. Every relationship has either an apla male/female in it. Both cannot be alpha at the same time. You can both agree but someone had to come up with the idea.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? (7/22/2008 8:32:06 AM)
Yes, Ray, someone had to come up with the idea, but the SAME someone? EVERY TIME? I don't think so.

Asmodeus -> RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? (7/22/2008 8:41:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar Asmodeus. Black, white or color or what ever way you wish to look at it the result is the same. Micro managing has nothing to do with it. Every relationship has either an apla male/female in it. Both cannot be alpha at the same time. You can both agree but someone had to come up with the idea. But your implication is that only one person is capable of coming up with and executing on ideas. Your belief is that it is impossible for two alphas to have a successful relationshiop. We have not found that to be the reality of our lives. We both have our skillsets and they mesh well together. I don't challenge her on things that I know she has more experience/knowledge about, she does me the same courtesy. We have agreed upon how we divide daily living things like household chores; we consult with each other as necessesary. We are capable of reaching consensus with each other on things upon which we disagree. You don't feel that our relationship is possible, yet we are living proof that, in the abstract, it is. In your case it might be completely impossible, but as Lady Hibiscus pointed out, confidence in yourself shouldn't be undermined just because the other person in the relationship is fully as capable as you are. We mesh together incredibly well; when we co-top at public events people always comment on how smoothly we work together, especially when we haven't planned anything in advance. Your personal psyche might not allow you to thrive in such an environement, but you should still be able to step back and see that your worldview is not the only one.

Dnomyar -> RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? (7/22/2008 9:12:00 AM)
Lets calm down . Im not saying that your relationship won't or is'nt working. Im 100% for such a relationship working. There are always exceptions to the rules. In my opinon the majority of these type of relationships will not work because of the Dominate nature of the persons involved. Thats why we have submissives and slaves.

CruelDesires -> RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? (7/22/2008 10:09:16 AM)
Or maybe, just maybe... a dominant female finds someone that she is attracted to and admires and trusts enough to share the power with. Not everyone fits in everyones else's box.. nor should they try. CD

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