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Falling off the face of the earth? - 7/21/2008 11:57:42 AM

ghettoloveinblo

Posts: 12
Joined: 8/5/2007
Status: offline

Okay....admittedly all I want are other's perspectives on this situation.... here is the whole ball of wax for you to play with (not that you would want to play with wax.....anywho). I met a man on here several months back. We met and things were great for several meetings. We were to schedule another meeting and he stopped picking up his phone for me. Then he stopped answering emails from me. I know of his personal obligations as I have my own....but finally three weeks later (after my last attempt at contact)..he emails me. Saying he is sorry and he is under too much pressure. With no more of an explanation then that. I feel he owes me more, I would completly revamp my schedule to suit his and meet when it was conveinent for him. We also began to discuss my accepting his collar. Then nothing....
I just don't know what to think of the situation...has he found someone new and isn't interested in me anymore? Does he just not care for me any longer? Either of which is fine, as I would have to live with it anyway...I just wish he was man enough (and I thought he was)....to just tell me what the real reason is. And BTW...I replied to him after he sent me that msg, with no response on his part.

Hope You all have a wonderful day.
Holly

Post #: 1

RE: Falling off the face of the earth? - 7/21/2008 12:29:52 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

*sighs* you can tell what he cares about on the basis of where he spends his time. It's really that simple. My wife says of me that she's my favorite hobby. Are you HIS favorite hobby?

Everyone goes through moments in life where they are swamped, but your post made it sound like this was much more than that. At a bare minimum, I'd have to ask about communication skills for this dominant. Most everyone here I suspect would agree that comm skills are a critical piece of a successful D/s relationship and, at least as you've related the story, I'm hearing a real failing there... at a minimum. Personally, I find it much more likely that he's lost interest for whatever reasons. That, of course, is pure speculation on my part.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to ghettoloveinblo)

Post #: 2

RE: Falling off the face of the earth? - 7/21/2008 12:34:30 PM

tkenslve

Posts: 98
Joined: 2/23/2004
Status: offline

i think you need to accept that the last email you received from him is the last one that you are going to get. You might want more, but you more then likely arent going to get it. Sometimes things dont end the way you think they should, you need to move on and find someone who will give you what you need.

_____________________________

Give me life, give me pain, give me myself again. - Tori Amos

(in reply to ghettoloveinblo)

Post #: 3

RE: Falling off the face of the earth? - 7/21/2008 1:08:43 PM

greenearth21

Posts: 228
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ghettoloveinblo

Okay....admittedly all I want are other's perspectives on this situation.... here is the whole ball of wax for you to play with (not that you would want to play with wax.....anywho). I met a man on here several months back. We met and things were great for several meetings. We were to schedule another meeting and he stopped picking up his phone for me. Then he stopped answering emails from me. I know of his personal obligations as I have my own....but finally three weeks later (after my last attempt at contact)..he emails me. Saying he is sorry and he is under too much pressure. With no more of an explanation then that. I feel he owes me more, I would completly revamp my schedule to suit his and meet when it was conveinent for him. We also began to discuss my accepting his collar. Then nothing....
I just don't know what to think of the situation...has he found someone new and isn't interested in me anymore? Does he just not care for me any longer? Either of which is fine, as I would have to live with it anyway...I just wish he was man enough (and I thought he was)....to just tell me what the real reason is. And BTW...I replied to him after he sent me that msg, with no response on his part.

Hope You all have a wonderful day.
Holly

No one (including yourself) can give you an answer on the situation except for him. Seeing that he no longer responds...I would take him off the potential list and see it as one less toad to kiss. If he wants to rekindle whatever you had, he will find you and at that point it'd be completely up to you if you think he's worth the time of the day. It takes two to tango in everything (regarding a relationship) and if you can make the time (and change your schedule) for him....the fact that he cant return the favor or attempt is a clear sign that hes not worth it.
Sorry to hear about that.

(in reply to ghettoloveinblo)

Post #: 4

RE: Falling off the face of the earth? - 7/21/2008 1:09:42 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

He's just not that into you. Accept it and move on. Anything else will leave you wondering why you wasted your time once you have accepted it.

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to tkenslve)

Post #: 5

RE: Falling off the face of the earth? - 7/21/2008 1:31:26 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

He met you several times. That is not the equivalent of an engagement ring. It means you dated and got to know each other. He decided that you aren't compatible with him. He doesn't own you any explanation.

He was polite and told you that he wasn't going to see you anymore. He let you down easy by blaming it on his schedule.

No contact means he doesn't want to have contact. That's all it is.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 6

RE: Falling off the face of the earth? - 7/21/2008 1:38:59 PM

sblady

Posts: 433
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

He's just not that into you. Accept it and move on. Anything else will leave you wondering why you wasted your time once you have accepted it.

This is a great answer. Something I wished I'd done instead of hanging onto a relationship where I was definitely an option and would never be a priority.

OP, please put yourself first as it doesn't appear that he will.

Take care

< Message edited by sblady -- 7/21/2008 1:39:44 PM >

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 7

RE: Falling off the face of the earth? - 7/21/2008 1:50:40 PM

natasha66

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline

Do yourself a favor, and move on. Obviously his priorities for whatever reason lie elsewhere. You deserve better.....

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.

(in reply to sblady)

Post #: 8

RE: Falling off the face of the earth? - 7/21/2008 5:34:06 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

People don't "owe" you any reaction. You might want them to act a certain way (i.e. give you closure), but they are going to act and react as they do.

However, you know you deserve better treatment. Yes, they can act as they wish, but you have the right to react to that as you wish. Pitching a fit isn't likely to get what you want in a healthy way, so I'd suggest simply moving on. If he wants you, he'll make it right...but don't count on it.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to ghettoloveinblo)

Post #: 9

RE: Falling off the face of the earth? - 7/22/2008 12:02:00 AM

ABUSE

Posts: 3
Joined: 3/20/2006
Status: offline

Sound married to Me, or just a serial "sub humper" or whatever. Move on.

(in reply to ghettoloveinblo)

Post #: 10

RE: Falling off the face of the earth? - 7/22/2008 1:29:04 AM

NormalOutside

Posts: 622
Joined: 1/8/2008
Status: offline

Hopefully you learned something from the experience. That's really all you can hope for.

(in reply to ABUSE)

Post #: 11

RE: Falling off the face of the earth? - 7/22/2008 5:36:38 AM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

He owes you NOTHING. He did communicate to you that he has no interest in being involved with you. Married, gay, assclown....it doesn't matter. He doesn't want you. Plain & simple. Maybe it is so simple that you are just not what he wants. Maybe you are the psycho. Whatever it might be. He owes you NOTHING.

This flashed me back to "Fatal Attraction". Does he own rabbits?

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to NormalOutside)

Post #: 12

RE: Falling off the face of the earth? - 7/22/2008 6:01:11 AM

mztresn0w

Posts: 174
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline

It happens and you move on. We expect people to treat us the way we would treat them. That doesn't happen. He got what he wanted and then he decided he didn't want it anymore. It happens alot. When someone leaves they are making room for someone that was meant to be there. I hope you find what you are seeking and that you don't settle for something that really isn't right for you.

_____________________________

Becareful what you ask for you may get it and then realize it wasn't what you wanted.
Wicked Evil Grin

(in reply to OldBastardly1)

Post #: 13

RE: Falling off the face of the earth? - 7/22/2008 7:45:06 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Abuse read her profile. She is married. natasha why does she deserve better? Looking at her profile she dose'nt seem lacking for friends. Oldbastardly why don't you just tell her what you think. I would but you already beat me to it.

(in reply to mztresn0w)

Post #: 14

RE: Falling off the face of the earth? - 7/23/2008 2:12:59 AM

ghettoloveinblo

Posts: 12
Joined: 8/5/2007
Status: offline

Thank you ALL for your opinions. Everyone has an opinion and is entitled to it. And for the record...I know he "OWES" me nothing, I knew I was going to get slammed for using the text, and actually thought about deleting it, however, I'm also entitled to my own opinion and don't see the need to edit my text to fit what I beleive what most of you want to hear. FYI Dnomyar.....I've never hidden the fact that I am still legally married...as a matter of fact weeks ago you viewed my profile. Hell, if you want to talk about technicalities...YES I am still legally married, NO he hasn't lived with me in over a year. And for all of you...I never disputed the fact of him not wanting to see me anymore. You need to learn to read the entire post and not just pick and choose what you would prefer to answer, in order to write the harshest comments.

Have A Wonderful Day!
Holly

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 15

RE: Falling off the face of the earth? - 7/23/2008 2:38:03 AM

JillSpade

Posts: 19
Joined: 5/29/2008
Status: offline

ghettoloveinblo,

You stated in your OP that he owes you more; he doesn't. If you know that, then why did you claim he does? Your initial post is at odds with your latest and people can only respond to what you type.

_____________________________

"How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me."

-Excerpt from 'The more loving one', by W. H. Auden

(in reply to ghettoloveinblo)

Post #: 16

RE: Falling off the face of the earth? - 7/23/2008 5:03:08 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

I view everyones profiles. Mostly just to get to my mail box. Sorry if that offends people. You will have to get over it. People if you ask for opinions don't bitch about getting them. You can always dote over the ones that suck up to you and ignore the other ones.

(in reply to JillSpade)

Post #: 17

RE: Falling off the face of the earth? - 7/23/2008 6:03:15 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

*sighs* you can tell what he cares about on the basis of where he spends his time. It's really that simple. My wife says of me that she's my favorite hobby. Are you HIS favorite hobby?

It's so nice to hear things like this. Best wishes to you and your "hobby"!

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 18

RE: Falling off the face of the earth? - 7/23/2008 6:07:59 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

OP;

I'm not sure if this is an issue for you or not, but, I'm going to assume he told you he was free to get into a relationship. If so, have you ever been to his home? Called his home phone number? Felt free to call his home number at (almost) any time day or night?

He really comes across as someone who had a fling, and is under a lot of "pressure" from himself or his family to straighten up.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 19

RE: Falling off the face of the earth? - 7/23/2008 6:24:05 AM

Asmodeus

Posts: 81
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

My fiance was reading this thread over my shoulder. Her comment?

"His wife caught him."

And I believe she was speaking from experience.

_____________________________

Deus Ex Machina

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 20

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