Owner4SexSlave
Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
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Well, there's knowledge, experience, common sense and attitude. I think each one needs to run hand and hand.
At any point in time an experienced person can jump out of the lifestyle, just as much as an inexperienced person can jump into the lifestyle.
In terms of orientation, that's a bit of combination of personality, taste and desire. Orientation is not a matter of knowledge or experience. So some people will be what they are, regardless of what they know or have done.
I do feel that knowledge about any topic is a great thing to know. In regards to somebody being in the lifestyle or not. That's a matter of personal choice.
The day an inexperienced person with a little knowledge says, hey I want to be in the lifestyle, is simply the start of an interesting path in their life.
Experience is rather subjective, for instance I have Zero Experience at restaining somebody up to a Water Toture Wheel. Yet, I have BDSM experience that goes back into my teenage years. Now, I'm confident that with a little research, and hooking up with others in Water Torture Wheels. That I go give it a go, after I trust myself enough with this activitity. I would not want to drown somebody to death.
It all depends upon the scope of activitity in BDSM. In terms of basic D/s, not too difficult for anybody to play boss and order another person around, make requests and simply take charge. I'm certain most submissives know how to do this based on thier own knowledge and experiences in the hands of Dom/me. However, does this make them a Dom/me? Only if they one day, decide they want to be or whatever reason.
Things like Wax play, if somebody trusts another human being to do it, and they take care and consideration. Why not? I still remember way back a long time ago, when I first started playing with Wax. Actually got involved in this activitity from making wax coated candle holders out of glass Coke Bottles. Go figure, me and the girl next door ended up playing more and more. Until we were almost totally getting naked with one another dripping wax all over each other. Testing things out on ourselves and exploring it together. Slowly pushing the limits. We sure as hell were not making wax coated candle holders out of bottles anymore. I still remember cleaning floor up the better part of a night because of it. That was a priceless experience about properly protecting the floor.
It's rather difficult for me to answer threads like this. I actually did rape scenes, bondage and many things before I discovered their was a lifestyle for this madness.
I think common sense along with knowledge about dangers involved in what you are doing works wonders though. Then having somebody you communicate with, trust and explore things at a sane pace with.
However, does knowledge alone mean somebody is in "the lifestyle", only if they want it to be, where they want to take the steps towards gaining experience.
Actually, many people have various experiences in life that apply very well. Some of these experiences are from childhood, for teenage years or whatever else. Like anything else though, the more you do, the better you get at it. The more comfortable you are with things, the more you come to understand yourself and your partners.
Whenever you get a new partner, in many ways, it's like starting over again, exploring things with somebody new for the first time. It's bit like taking a trip to some place you have been before, you more less know the road, the curves and speed bumps and how things should go.
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