RE: Pregnant Sub.... Responsible Dom

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eyesopened -> RE: Pregnant Sub.... Responsible Dom (7/23/2008 4:01:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlueEyedSubinDE While I work for an insurance company, there are just too many policy specific rules to offer advice of any value. I will say in general, it is no easy thing to get a domestic partner insured. There usually has to be evidence that the couple has lived together for a period of time. And when there is a domestic partner option it is usually reserved for same sex relationships. It's not a simple matter of just filling out the form. I know with some companies, a "private confidential discussion with a Human Resources Representative" is part of the process. Also, there are specific times and conditions when a person can be added to a policy, usually things considered "life changing" marriage, birth, adoption etc. If it isn't a life changing event, then most policies state a change or addition can only be done once a year during open enrollment. Also, future premiums are based on current use. Depending on the size of the company the Dominant works for, a pregnancy could have a measurable dollar impact on future premiums. Finally, if the Dominant wants to be financially responsible for the pregnancy, he can pay the bills himself. Just because you have insurance, doesn't mean you have to use it. i am a licensed Health Insurance professional. If the husband's policy is through his employer, yes, there are open enrollment periods and should he drop his wife from his policy, he will have to wait until the next enrollment period should he want to add her back to his plan later. In order to insure a 'life partner' the submissive cannot be married to someone else and yes, there will be a series of questions regarding the duration of the relationship in order to determine whether there is what is called "an insurable interest" in the domestic partner. A private, individual health plan can consider pregnancy as a pre-existing condition. HIPPA regualations regarding this, only applies to group plans. It was designed to not penalize someone when they change employers during a pregnancy. The smart thing would be to NOT drop the husband's insurance. The smarter thing would to not involve an innocent, non-consenting infant in someone's kink.

Dari -> RE: Pregnant Sub.... Responsible Dom (7/23/2008 4:45:50 AM)
And I'm also in the industry, though a slightly different slant. She has pre-existing conditions that will likely be aggravated by her pregnancy, but her dom doesn't want her to have coverage for those? Is he financially prepared for the tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars of health care bills this will leave at her doorstep, that will be his fault? Has he signed a legal, binding contract to this effect? Is she prepared to have to take whatever care she can find, if her new health care isn't in effect in time, her old health care is gone, and she is relegated to the list of "people who must be treated because it's required, but who can't actually afford to pay?" In some cases, depending on the type of health plan you carry, it is actually illegal for you to take certain other kinds of supplemental health care. When all is said and done, the health care insurers are genius at finding the loopholes and ways to disallow certain costs - is she prepared (he won't be able to do it, because it'll be her insurance) to fight the good fight and spend weeks and months going back and forth to try to get her expenses covered? Hell, is she prepared to read through hundreds of pages of IRS and HIPPA rules to figure out what is allowed and what isn't? How about her husband? If he uses her pregnancy as a "life altering event" to drop her from his policy, he can't use the birth of the child as a life altering event to pick her back up, I'm betting. In addition to that, word gets around. Someone inevitably overhears what's going on. Is he prepared for the speculation of his coworkers when they wonder if the kid is really his? For all the various feelings from malicious and/or well-intentioned people, who will react in a wide variety of ways to the event? How about when the kid grows up, and starts to look like the birth father - what then? Did he sign on to play the cuckold, or was this something that he just kind of had shoved on him to make his wife happy? Eh. I wouldn't touch this with a 10-foot pole. Or a 20-foot pole. If it were a poly relationship where all partners were involved somehow, that would be one thing. But for her to drop her husband's health insurance to take a dominant's (which it's likely she couldn't do anyway) is irresponsible. It's putting kink ahead of the reality of the situation, and an unborn child doesn't deserve to have parents who are so selfish about their own desires, that they're willing to risk the life of both mother and child to inadequate care. This is edge play that involves the innocent. I'd like to be supportive and nice about it - but there are children involved, which is one of my hard limits.

housesub4you -> RE: Pregnant Sub.... Responsible Dom (7/23/2008 4:53:35 AM)
Don't change or drop insurance When I got married, I was covered by my wifes insurance because it was better than what I had. I switched jobs and got free coverage for me so my wife dropped me from hers. HUGE Mistake!!!! The comapny I worked for went under and now I have to wait for "open enrollment" with her insurance company and take all these phyiscals to get back on plus there is a long list of thengs they now consider "pre-existing' It takes more then money to care for someone, he is not helping her by insisting she be on his insurance, cause if they think the fact that she is married and has other coverage won't be an issue, keep dreaming. Insurance is a for profit business, and there are just to many reasons to deny coverage here.

Dnomyar -> RE: Pregnant Sub.... Responsible Dom (7/23/2008 4:55:14 AM)
Like Cali said. The husband is still going to be the father of the child. Im speaking from experience. The kid is going to be in for a crappy upbringing. I see a divorce comming up.

GMRTGS -> RE: Pregnant Sub.... Responsible Dom (7/23/2008 5:41:21 AM)
Can you say fraud, Jail time both at the state and federal level.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Pregnant Sub.... Responsible Dom (7/23/2008 5:55:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble Some other things: I'd recommend having a DNA test for paternity so it's in writing and make sure the correct father is put on the birth certificate (check out the laws for knowingly giving false information on a birth certificate). That will ensure the dominant will be obligated, exactly as he desires, to be financially responsible. The only thing I have to add to Celeste's excellent post is that in some states, if the parents are married, there is NO CHOICE on who is named the father. A DNA test will be irrelevant for financial responsibility. I used to be very active on a divorce board that dealt with this alot. I thought the person who said it just HAD to be wrong, because it seemed so stupid, but it was true. Cali Exactly what I was going to say. This looks like a big mess just waiting to happen. And, btw, who's going to be responsible when/if the dom in question gets tired of this and trades up to the newest model? Who will the child call daddy? How will they explain this to the child? What will happen when the child starts saying "the daddy I have at home is only my pretend daddy...my REAL daddy is..." Has this been thought through at all? Honestly, insurance is the least of their worries.

sublizzie -> RE: Pregnant Sub.... Responsible Dom (7/23/2008 6:11:56 AM)
~FR~ Who is going to pay the medical insurance for well-baby visits? And all the other bumps, bruises, and breaks kids go through? Legal Daddy or Sperm Daddy?

Aileen1968 -> RE: Pregnant Sub.... Responsible Dom (7/23/2008 6:14:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lovingpet I recently ran across an interesting situation and wanted others' input. A submissive married to a vanilla, but obscenely understanding man, agreed along with the knowledge of her husband to become pregnant by her dominant. This had been something the dominant and she had wanted for some time. The dominant also wanted the full financial responsibility to fall on him. Her husband has medical insurance on her, but the dominant wants her to be dropped from that plan for the duration of the pregnancy and placed on his insurance, which does cover domestic partners of both genders. She has pre existing conditions, so the new insurance would likely not cover these items. Further, she would start from square one when she returned to her husband's plan. My question lies in how they could recify this situation and still meet the burden of obligation her dominant wishes to carry. I have given some ideas, but would like input. Kind input only please. I know this arrangement would not be everyone's cup of tea. I have my own misgivings. Have fun! lovingpet [sm=jaw.gif] Just say no.

UR2Badored -> RE: Pregnant Sub.... Responsible Dom (7/23/2008 6:25:52 AM)
I dont know about the state insurance regulations in question. But as far as I know, in my state, the primary insurance of spouses usually go by birthdate and in these cases if two insurances prevails, the insurer usually has no say in which one is primary. Throw a pre-existing condition into the mix, I cannot imagine anyone having considerations about not keeping their current policy. As a sidenote of no relevance, I dont view "breeding" as a kink since the um cannot legally consent to this and is directly involved but that's just me.

windchymes -> RE: Pregnant Sub.... Responsible Dom (7/23/2008 6:30:16 AM)
A lot of good advice already posted, so I won't repeat what anyone else has said. \ Since I tend to look at the big picture in most things, I would also have some kind of a back-up plan. What if Daddy Dom gets hit in the face with the reality stick and, after the kid is born, decides he's way in over his head, realizes that fatherhood is way more than delivering sperm, decides it isn't for him after all and simply skips town? It happens. Worst case scenario, sure, but it could happen, no matter how much talking and promising he did ahead of time. So then what? Will Hubby adopt it, or at least step in for its father figure? Will they legally go after the dom for child support, or just let him go? In either case, what will they tell the kid about its parentage, and how messed up might that kid be when he figures it all out? Or, would they just put the baby up for adoption if it all goes south? What I'm recommending is for them to lose some of the romantic fantasy bubble and start imaging reality. Put all the costs of raising a child down on paper so they can be seen realistically. Have daddy spend some quality time with someone else's baby, or better yet, get one of those robotic dolls they give teenagers who want to get pregnant, the ones that won't stop screaming and puke on themselves. Let hubby have it for a day, too, since it sounds like he'll be living with it probably full-time while dom struts around bragging about having fathered a child. Sorry, but I just don't see this as anything more than two irresponsible people caught up in a fantasy, and a husband who needs to grow a set.

windchymes -> RE: Pregnant Sub.... Responsible Dom (7/23/2008 6:33:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UR2Badored I dont know about the state insurance regulations in question. But as far as I know, in my state, the primary insurance of spouses usually go by birthdate and in these cases if two insurances prevails, the insurer usually has no say in which one is primary. Throw a pre-existing condition into the mix, I cannot imagine anyone having considerations about not keeping their current policy. As a sidenote of no relevance, I dont view "breeding" as a kink since the um cannot legally consent to this and is directly involved but that's just me. Are you sure it's the spouses's birthdates determining primary insurance for them, or for their dependents? It could be different where you are, but in most states that I'm aware of, if each spouse carries an insurance policy, their own insurance is the primary and spouse's is secondary. But with the dependents, the spouse with the birthday falling first in the calendar year is legally the primary.

OnlyHisLovebug -> RE: Pregnant Sub.... Responsible Dom (7/23/2008 6:36:47 AM)
The Dom can take responsibilty by reimbursing the premiums to the hubby while the sub stays on with the insurance she has had all along; this way there is no lapse in her coverage and no problems with pre=existing conditions. The Dom can make any necessary co-pays- as well as any other out of pocket expenses. He CAN put the child on his plan once it's delivered, even if the sub stays under her hubby's policy- it's just a bit of a legal hassle and a fair bit of paperwork involved. All parties must agree and sign an 'affadavit of denial of paternity' (in front of a notary) stating that the hubby is not the biological father for this to happen. In most states, that's the only way the Dom can be listed as the father on the birth certificate as well. They will need to contact the hospital in advance, as not all are aware of what needs to be done (even in this day and age). Of course, the husband needs to realize that he is no longer legally linked to this child, and that his wife and the Dom have all the legal rights and responsibilities once this happens. While the situation has the potential for a myriad of problems- if the parties involved are mature and dedicated to the well being of the child, there can be a positive outcome.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Pregnant Sub.... Responsible Dom (7/23/2008 6:55:45 AM)
Lovebug is correct...depending. Depending on what state you live in. If they live in VA. as the OP does, from the little research I've done, the husband can file an affidavit for denial of paternity, and the dom can sign an acknowledgement of paternity. If they live in KY, and MANY other states, it is very difficult, sometimes impossible to have someone other than the husband named as the father, even if they can prove it by dna.

Dnomyar -> RE: Pregnant Sub.... Responsible Dom (7/23/2008 7:09:38 AM)
Lovebug dump the rose colored glasses. Why would a Dom what to get someone elses wife pregnant. He is as big a mental moron as the couple is.

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Pregnant Sub.... Responsible Dom (7/23/2008 7:26:29 AM)
fast reply when my ex and i were going through our divorce, there was an actual case almost like this was being argued before a judge. the husband filed a motion for paternity testing after denying that um in question wasn't his as a response to his ex's motion requesting child support. he (husband) claimed um was fathered by another. i don't know the ending results of this case since our divorce resolved quickly however it appeared to be one huge legal mess.

UR2Badored -> RE: Pregnant Sub.... Responsible Dom (7/23/2008 8:13:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: windchymes Are you sure it's the spouses's birthdates determining primary insurance for them, or for their dependents? You could be right and I may be mistaken. It may determine the childrens' primary. That does sound vaguely familiar, my bad. Edited: I am neither married nor have minor children so my knowledge is a bit rusty on the subject

OnlyHisLovebug -> RE: Pregnant Sub.... Responsible Dom (7/23/2008 8:22:44 AM)
Dnomyar....I don't claim to know his reasons. But, I do know children are not always fathered by a womans legal husband. My glasses are not rose colored; I am the mother of such a child. I know about the affadavit, and how to execute it, from personal experience. While far from ideal; the child in question is healthy, well loved, and no worse for having been born into a non-traditional family situation. My legal husband cares about the little one- but the biological father was man enough to shoulder his responsibilities. It was all quite amicable, civil and mature- with nary a moron in sight. 'Nuf said.

LotusSong -> RE: Pregnant Sub.... Responsible Dom (7/23/2008 8:30:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lovingpet I recently ran across an interesting situation and wanted others' input. A submissive married to a vanilla, but obscenely understanding man, agreed along with the knowledge of her husband to become pregnant by her dominant. This had been something the dominant and she had wanted for some time. The dominant also wanted the full financial responsibility to fall on him. Her husband has medical insurance on her, but the dominant wants her to be dropped from that plan for the duration of the pregnancy and placed on his insurance, which does cover domestic partners of both genders. She has pre existing conditions, so the new insurance would likely not cover these items. Further, she would start from square one when she returned to her husband's plan. My question lies in how they could recify this situation and still meet the burden of obligation her dominant wishes to carry. I have given some ideas, but would like input. Kind input only please. I know this arrangement would not be everyone's cup of tea. I have my own misgivings. Have fun! lovingpet Have hubby send him the bills.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Pregnant Sub.... Responsible Dom (7/23/2008 8:38:37 AM)
I feel really badly for this potential child. (or is she pregnant already? [&:]) Honestly, you should have to have a license to breed. You need one to drive a car, right?

DesFIP -> RE: Pregnant Sub.... Responsible Dom (7/23/2008 9:48:02 AM)
It is irresponsible of him to insist she gives up health insurance for her pre-existing conditions unless he proposes to pay out of pocket for whatever treatment she may require until such time as she is covered again. If he wants to pay those bills, let him pay cash. Otherwise, have him use that money to set up a college fund.

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