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Wheldrake -> RE: Wonder what a Domme thinks of this story (7/25/2008 12:19:17 PM)
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If a male submissive might be permitted to put a few thoughts forward for consideration by the CollarMe Literary Appreciation Society…
quote:
ORIGINAL: Missokyst
My response was more to do with what I see as his attitude toward women, rather than his desire for multiple cocks in various oriffices. In the story that dominant is clearly only out to win a bet. She is simply the means for him to get what he wants. For that matter, the men are simply cocks. I am not seeing a great need for women in this picture. But on further thought, the men are equally diminished. If a person doesnt like men and doesnt like women, what is left?
Kyst
Er… submission? Suffering?
I don’t mean to be flippant, but I thought the eroticism in the story was supposed to come from the situation – from the idea of the male protagonist being subjected to unpleasant, degrading treatment and being helpless to escape or resist. Of course, this does objectify both the women and the “boys” who receive the oral sex, in the sense that they’re reduced to the status of people who provide unpleasant and degrading treatment for the delectation of the reader (although not the protagonist, who wants to escape). But then, the boys are objectifying the protagonist by reducing him to a provider of oral sex, and the woman is objectifying all of them to the extent that they’re there primarily to help her win her bet. So all the characters in the story are being treated as objects, which is often the case in erotic fiction. I can see how this would be off-putting for a reader who was hoping for more emotional interaction among the characters, but it didn’t bother me. Perhaps this is because I rather like the idea of being used as the mere object of someone else’s sadistic pleasure.
About the story itself… I enjoyed the part when the man was standing outside the hotel room in a state of fear and anticipation, and I put a lot of that kind of thing into my own writing. Unfortunately, I thought it went a bit downhill after that. The idea of the protagonist being made helpless and then getting a lot more than he bargained for does have a certain appeal, but I thought the writing was a bit too flatly descriptive and the nature of the protagonist’s ordeal was too over-the-top to be believable. A roster of 100 men interested in receiving oral sex from another male, all with cocks exceeding 8” in length? Twenty to thirty hours of continuous throat-raping? I found it impossible to suspend my disbelief. I think the story would have worked better with only one or two men (easily enough to be scary, if properly described), and more small, vivid details to create a sense of reality. It bothered me a bit that none of the characters even had names, for example.
I do enjoy reading erotic fiction, when it’s well done. In my humble opinion a good erotic story, even a wildly fantastic one, can be much more than a “wank fantasy” if it’s well-written and intelligently conceived. However, I agree with LadyPact that the OP’s story seemed out of place on this discussion board. Perhaps CollarMe should set up a dedicated literary area?
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