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ButchFemDomCpl -> RE: In-House training? (7/26/2008 10:56:43 AM)
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My idea is to show the structure of a House. What do I mean by “Structure?”
1. Giving people ways to document a clear delineation of beliefs, authority, responsibilities, obligations, policies and procedures within YOUR House.
2. You may ask yourself "Why do we need written documents to define our relationship?"
When people take the time to write down what they want and how they want to run the house, it allows both Owners and sub/slaves the time to evaluate their partners and find partners with shared values. The written word is powerful. It can be twisted rather quickly, case in point.. posters who have fogged the original question I wrote. Writing things down forces all parties to confront the reality of what they are about to do. For many, slavery is about personal fulfillment. Writing house documents (policies, procedures and the like) defines everyones desires and expectations within the House. Once this step is done, it often reduces the likelihood of disappointment or confrontation as the result of memory lapse. By writing everything down, this establishes informed consent
3. You may ask yourself "What sort of documents should we create or what sorts of documents are created within My house?" A List of Fundamental Beliefs, Deciding how you want your Application Process set up for your house, Policies and Procedures of your House, and lastly a Lifestyle Agreement (contract). People considering 24/7 could choose to use ALL of this, or none of it. Again.,. its what works for the two people.
4. You may ask yourself "What is the list of Fundamental Beliefs regarding M/s relationships (your values)?" Topics that I would cover is writing a Statements of beliefs to allow a candidate to readily identify divergent values. Provide multiple examples of statements of belief. For some, It may be helpful to create statements of belief regarding the following:
The nature of M/s relationships, what is the the Dom/mes authority and responsibilities, The slave’s obligation to obey, The relationship between service, slavery and play, what is the role of sex in M/s relationships, when is punishment justified and what is it purpose?, What is the importance of forgiveness, and what should family, friends, employers and children know about your activities?
The written word is power. By having these sorts of documents written out in the BDSM Household it helps omit “memory lapse” by either the slave or the Owner.
5.You may want to see examples of Application Process (petitioning) There would be discussions of why the evaluation of long-term potential is really important for all parties. When you break an evaluation down into logical steps, its much easier for two people to enter into a BDSM relationship. There would be multiple samples of different application form, discussions over the amount of Medical history that should be uncovered.
6. New people may want to see examples of Household Policies and Procedures. By writing policies or statements regarding what is to occur, this gives the slave a great degree of comfort. By nature, slaves WANT to make their Owners happy. If they know exactly what is expected of them, they tend to be far happier. Writing these sorts of documents are not easy, but a policies and procedures document allows a candidate to get a good indication of what serving a particular Owner will be like. These sorts of documents help the Owner avoid conflicting orders and expectations.
Some things on the table for discussion in this document would be, Behavior and courtesies, Clothing, Communication, Duties, Emotional needs, Failure to comply with orders, Friends and family, Finances, Food and lodging, Health and hygiene, Obedience and cooperation, Personal and intellectual property, Recreation and special privileges, Religion, Restraints, and then to review and revise these documents as a living, breathing part of your House.
7. For those that ask “why do all that?” its to have good structure within your house so there are less disappointments, more understanding, better expectations. Structure is all about anticipating, planning and writing it down. Once House documents are written, both Owner and Slave will quickly realize if their partner is one that shares the same BDSM values as they do, this forces all parties to confront the reality of what they are about to do, it defines desires and expectations, it reduces the likelihood of disappointment or confrontation as the result of memory lapse, and most of all, it establishes informed consent.
These are the documents that I thought should be discussed. It may take an entire weekend just to develop this, for some, it may take a year. For others, they have never been exposed to setting up a house like this and they may like it, or they may reject it. ALL of those things are fine.
I believe many protocols have a military background. Perhaps what I should say is the House documents are much like writing a good business plan? A good plan often yields a prosperous business. After these documents are in place, then My house would serve to show how the documents can be implemented. I feel like a broken record here, but what I was thinking of offering is a way to show people in My house may or may not work for them, but it SHOULD get their fertile minds working to come up with ideas, goals, procedures and the like for their own house.
I hope this posting helps define what I was considering doing in my House. If this sort of thing wouldnt work for you, then dont respond, just ignore this topic. I am seeking responses from people who have little experience. I am seeking responses from those who are experienced, and have positive questions/comments on why it would or wouldnt work, by all means, please respond.
Femme
ButchFemDomCpl
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