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Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 12:11:22 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		Why is it we still use terms such as dark, evil, twisted, perverted in reference to our desires?  Is this our own fear of them, remains of past social programming, or something else altogther?

lovingpet
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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 12:18:34 PM   
kiwisub12


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Status: offline 		its more fun to think that we are evil, twisted and sick                               --     and most of our religions teach that the body is evil.

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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 12:34:43 PM   
Allondra


Posts: 68
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Status: offline 		We don't all use those terms.  I know I don't....

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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 12:38:01 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
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Status: offline 		To me, the 'dark' refers to my 'foil' -- my shadow-self who mostly manages in the daylight world of "work and strangers compelled to become associates" by remaining an undercurrent -- the part of the iceberg below the surface.

For me, the greater portion of myself is that shadow-self. I wear a polite, decent cloak to remain in the "bright light of scrutiny", and even then, pieces of the 'shadow-me' leak through -- like having tats that can't be covered up, even in 'business dress'.

I like the dark -- it implies the time when I'm not compelled to constrain my 'undercurrent' so as not to scare the natives. *grins* What they don't know won't hurt them -- much.

Calla Firestorm

PS: I also recognize my own twistiness and my tendency to pervert things from their typical use.... so I love the words "twisted" and "perverted"... to me, those are active, dynamic words, and, Chaos Queen that I am, I love them!

CF


< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 7/26/2008 12:48:50 PM >

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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 12:38:12 PM   
camille65


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Allondra

We don't all use those terms.  I know I don't....


I use words like 'deep' 'unknown' or 'secret'. The other words have a negative feel to them and I am a mostly positive type person.
Sometimes there are even 'fluffy' or 'goofy' fantasies but I really don't have much inside that is dark or depraved.

The words seem more exciting, perhaps that is why they tend to be seen more often?


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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 12:45:28 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Many people -- perhaps most -- live with parts of themselves enmeshed in different plastic bags, so the contents will never intermix.  What I do for work is here; what I do to relax is here; what I do for long-term fulfillment is over there.  This behavior intensifies when someone's trying to separate out a "secret" desire that might be socially dangerous to admit.  I firmly believe that the reason there are so many horny net geeks on this site is that most people have not incorporated their kinky desires as a seamless part of themselves.

Some people, when using words like "dark" mean it literally.  Consider that "Beast Within" thread, where the OP was literally terrified of what lay inside herself.  Others take ownership of the words -- much as a feminist might call herself a "pushy broad" -- to make sick&twisted the new straightedge.

Personally, I discuss activities and perform them, but I don't describe them much.


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- 15th century Aztec

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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 12:57:06 PM   
Daddystouch


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From: South East England
Status: offline 		I hate the idea of BDSM as 'dark'. To me BDSM is a bright, happy thing. I dislike 'dungeon' settings, leather and the like for the the same reason (amongst other things).

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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 1:00:53 PM   
softness


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From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		depends whetehr you personally attach negative or postive connotations to works like "dark" .. or "twisted" ... I know I dont .. yet many of my desires are dark and are twisted. A much bigger heap of them are soppy, domestic, romantic, fluffy and down right vomit making.

I don't think as BDSM as dark ... but some of my desires are decidedly so.

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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 1:01:15 PM   
Lynnxz


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From: Atlanta
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

Why is it we still use terms such as dark, evil, twisted, perverted in reference to our desires?  Is this our own fear of them, remains of past social programming, or something else altogther?

lovingpet


When I hear someone call themself 'Dark', 'Edgy', or 'Evil', I see them in the same light as the teenage emo kids running around malls- trying to convince everyone that they are depressed and just soooo different from everyone else. It's just another look at me flag. Not bad really, just leaning towards attention whoring.


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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 1:07:29 PM   
camille65


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

Why is it we still use terms such as dark, evil, twisted, perverted in reference to our desires?  Is this our own fear of them, remains of past social programming, or something else altogther?

lovingpet


When I hear someone call themself 'Dark', 'Edgy', or 'Evil', I see them in the same light as the teenage emo kids running around malls- trying to convince everyone that they are depressed and just soooo different from everyone else. It's just another look at me flag. Not bad really, just leaning towards attention whoring.



I was continuing to think about this thread after I posted.

I realized that I used to think I had dark and twisted fantasies but I was in my teens and twenties. Eventually I realized that the fodder inside my noggin wasn't dark, it was fairly ordinary. That doesn't mean that I don't have things in my head I would never do, because I have plenty of them heh.
It just means that I keep them in perspective and understand that as far as fantasies go.. no biggie.

Now if I intended to act the stuff out? That would be a bit warped.


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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 1:28:11 PM   
spinninsweetness


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From: London
Status: offline 		I dont think I ever have refered to anything I've ever done in life as 'dark'..... 'edgy' I may use as something that is, you know, edgy, in any context, from bungee jumping to breathplay.

However I do tend to wear dark clothes..... may be the immense amount of black on the 'scene' that helps with the use of these terms!

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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 1:29:35 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		Opposite of purple prose and lavender unicorns?

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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 1:37:35 PM   
RumpusParable


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From: NYC now!
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

Why is it we still use terms such as dark, evil, twisted, perverted in reference to our desires?  Is this our own fear of them, remains of past social programming, or something else altogther?

lovingpet


Simply put:  it's using the available and understood referents to express oneself.  At least, for me.

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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 2:23:14 PM   
WhisperSupremacy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

its more fun to think that we are evil, twisted and sick                               --     and most of our religions teach that the body is evil.


I don't need to think I'm evil, I KNOW I AM!

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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 2:27:47 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
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From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

When I hear someone call themself 'Dark', 'Edgy', or 'Evil', I see them in the same light as the teenage emo kids running around malls- trying to convince everyone that they are depressed and just soooo different from everyone else. It's just another look at me flag. Not bad really, just leaning towards attention whoring.



Bingo.

I am integrated. Because stuff is done with consent, and love and respect, I don't think of this as bad in any way. It's just something else I do. Sometimes I do laundry and sometimes I get tied up and fully used. It's all good.

I don't think as much of people who can't integrate themselves fully. It seems immature. Plus I think it's just a lot healthier to only do things you know you can handle. When you think of part of yourself as bad or evil, then the risk arises of self hate, or hatred of your partner. Neither of those is an appropriate response to engaging in an extreme sport.

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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 2:36:28 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz


When I hear someone call themself 'Dark', 'Edgy', or 'Evil', I see them in the same light as the teenage emo kids running around malls- trying to convince everyone that they are depressed and just soooo different from everyone else. It's just another look at me flag. Not bad really, just leaning towards attention whoring.



But I AM dark edgy and eeeeeeeeeeeviiiiillllllll!!!! Dammit I really am! (stomping foot )

Yours,

Eeeevil Attention Whore

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 2:38:08 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Bingo.

I am integrated. Because stuff is done with consent, and love and respect, I don't think of this as bad in any way. It's just something else I do. Sometimes I do laundry and sometimes I get tied up and fully used. It's all good.

I don't think as much of people who can't integrate themselves fully. It seems immature. Plus I think it's just a lot healthier to only do things you know you can handle. When you think of part of yourself as bad or evil, then the risk arises of self hate, or hatred of your partner. Neither of those is an appropriate response to engaging in an extreme sport.


I Bingo your Bingo.

Yup. I have reached the place in my life where there isn't room for hate or self-loathing.(Okay I have some issues still, but by and large that stuff is done with) Using those words really does have a connection inside of me to things that aren't healthy or productive. Being and staying on this path is what it is all about for me.


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~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 2:39:46 PM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

Why is it we still use terms such as dark, evil, twisted, perverted in reference to our desires?  Is this our own fear of them, remains of past social programming, or something else altogther?

lovingpet


Because evil, twisted, dark and perverted things are taboo and taboo things are hot.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 2:56:17 PM   
VeryHighHeels


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/3/2008
Status: offline 		I think it's merely society's term for the BDSM lifestyle, and many (most?) lifestylers have acceeded to its use. It's kind of like thinking you are a bad person because your mother caught you masturbating. Only you don't know it's actually healthy.

M

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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 2:56:17 PM   
SunNMoon


Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline 		I do use those terms in reference to myself; I also call myself wicked. It is not meant as derogatory at all its more of a way to be playful. Why not call myself all wicked and evil when I’m talking about tying up someone? Makes it a lot more fun to talk about.

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