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RE: How would you punish a sub who disobeyed - 8/14/2008 5:43:43 AM

DavidS8ist

Posts: 97
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From: NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: michelle1227
How would you punish a sub who disobeyed you or told you no?

M

I wouldn't.

Punishment isn't all that an effective tool in the adult learning model, and since I interact with adults, I don't use punishment.

As has been already stated, the first response is to determine whether or not it was an intentional disobedience. If it was accidental, pointing it out and having it corrected should be enough. If deliberate, why was it done? Acting out? Why? There has to be a root cause. Punishing for a specific offense will only divert the underlying issue to some other offense in the future. Identifying and solving the problem is probably the best solution.

But.

If it can't be solved, resort to my first and only rule in the household.

Obey or leave.

D.

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RE: How would you punish a sub who disobeyed - 8/14/2008 5:47:35 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: rc4otkVA

I don't tolerate disobedience from subs. I would beat them and humiliate them into doing anything I wanted.

isn't that special?

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RE: How would you punish a sub who disobeyed - 8/14/2008 8:39:42 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: rc4otkVA
I don't tolerate disobedience from subs. I would beat them and humiliate them into doing anything I wanted.

And you don't get it that this attitude is why you don't have anyone and are seeking?

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RE: How would you punish a sub who disobeyed - 8/17/2008 2:28:20 PM

WizardOfDelphi

Posts: 27
Joined: 9/15/2004
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Subs come in a rather broad spectrum of options. Some are extremely loyal and obedient out of the box. For these, punishment is very rarely, if ever, warranted. They want to please and obey, if there are problems they probably just need better direction or some such. Other people have covered this situation quite well in this thread already.

But obey or leave isn't always a valid stance. It depends on the nature of the submissive and the relationship. In a strict, BDSM / leather household where the submissive is collared and the dominant expects complete obedience - that makes sense. But many of us live and play in other realms.

Personally, I generally require pretty strict obedience. I try to be very fair, just and considerate of what I ask / decide, but once I've stated something I do expect obedience. This is the model I prefer. However, sometimes I do find myself with bratty or otherwise disobedient submissives. These type also exist and they aren't going to hop-to anything they are told no matter who you are or how you treat them. They like to push back and be reminded of who is in charge. They are willing to obey, but psychologically they need reminders or to be pushed at least sometimes. For this type of submissive punishment can be helpful. But, its very tricky because you don't want to be rewarding them for wanting attention or pain. That starts a cycle that I personally find very unsatisfying.

Some dominants only want completely obedient submissives, some like bratty ones, some like both and who knows what other possibilities or combinations exist out there.

The bottom line is that sometimes punishment is effective in D/s relationships and sometimes it is either not effective or warranted. It depends greatly on the dynamics of the relationship and the situation.

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RE: How would you punish a sub who disobeyed - 8/17/2008 2:37:29 PM

Sandyshores29718

Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Write my name on the bottoms of her feet,and then tell her-"If you value me so little that you feel the need to step on me-you might as well do it for the next few days."

Oh man. That would be punishment for me. Things like that work better than any spanking (well cause i like them ), but when I know Ive let them down and they tell me how disappointed in me they are thats the real punishment for me.

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RE: How would you punish a sub who disobeyed - 8/18/2008 8:20:27 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: michelle1227
How would you punish a sub who disobeyed you or told you no?

Well, you guys already covered the 987,326 variables in this very, very broad question. I’ll just add this one you missed:

Honour Killings- 07 Dec 07- Part 1
Honour Killings- 07 Dec 07- Part 2

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RE: How would you punish a sub who disobeyed - 8/22/2008 7:11:37 PM

standupshaking

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Joined: 12/9/2007
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If she was extra bad I'd rub her nose in it while i spanked her bottom, then I'd pretend everything was ok again and get her all riled up-:I'd have to show her who was boss so I'd get her to the point where she's panting and moaning and so desperate for it that she could cry and then not give her anything at all. I could lecture her all the while but maybe not, she'd know exactly why she was getting nothing at all. I mean, she'd be getting everything but the thing she wanted. Bad bitch!

Then when I was satisfied and she was not, I'd make her go put on her clothes and sit quietly, within eyesight, wet and itchy, and let her consider her actions.

Ok, so this is what happens to me, I'm not even allowed to apologize, he already knows I'm sorry. I just sit there terribly hungry until he thinks it's enough...then. well, then I'm really really really good....for a while....

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RE: How would you punish a sub who disobeyed - 8/22/2008 9:09:36 PM

WhiplashSmile2

Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
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How would one punish anybody for anything they do?   You can think of creative ways to punish somebody.   However, the best forms of punishment in my view often address the offense.

One would have to know the likes and dislikes of the guilty party.   Does very little good to beat a masochist.   Does very little good to toss somebody into a cage who loves to be caged.

If you make somebody watch NFL who totally is into football, that's not punishment.   Forcing somebody to watch something they hate, now that's a different story.

It all depends.   This is what makes BDSM so damn interesting and varied. Nobody acts, thinks or responds the same all the damn time.

It's nearly impossible to come up with a set in stone way of dishing out punishment.

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RE: How would you punish a sub who disobeyed - 8/25/2008 8:39:33 PM

SummerWind

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...make her watch the Democratic Convention....

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RE: How would you punish a sub who disobeyed - 8/31/2008 2:22:31 PM

ponch

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the slaves feet would be whipped

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RE: How would you punish a sub who disobeyed - 8/31/2008 4:19:38 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ponch

the slaves feet would be whipped

Some people love bastinado. For them this would be pleasure, not punishment.

Beyond that, if he told me to go change the oil in the car, knowing that I am not mechanically inclined, without teaching me where the drain plug is, what kind of a wrench to use, how to get the old filter out since in a VW it's a damned difficult task, without telling me which of the 7 different filters for sale is best, without telling me what grade oil to use, then punishment would be useless.

Beating me for him not teaching me what I would need to know to accomplish the job is not acceptable. The punishment for taking out his lack of forethought on me would be loss of my trust to begin with, and loss of me in the end.

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