Why after 8 months can't I meet the family

Why after 8 months can't I meet the family (Full Version)

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mypain56 -> Why after 8 months can't I meet the family (7/29/2008 11:01:34 PM)
Please, I really am confused here, that is why I am coming to a Master too ask this very important question. I have been loyal, devoted, faithful, obiedient, for 8 months now. For reasons I could not control, I was able to move closer to him. But honestly not because of him. I am running from a very bad relationship,and the person in was in jail up till a few months ago.The Dominant I have been seeing for 8 months, mentioned all the opportunities that they had in his home town which I admit there are many. so needing to run before my abuser got out of jail I moved away. My Dominant had me under consideration for the last 8 months, just recently lifting it. And now he would like to collar me. The problem is that I am having is that, do most Dominants keep there submissives a secret and away from the family. He has two grown daughters, and is divorced and has been for 15 years. I haven't met his daughters yet or his two grandchildren which live with him. Please tell me if I am being stupid here. I have asked him and he came up with this lame answer. Like what do you want me too do hire a sky writer saying your my slave. Well # 1 I am not his slave and after all these many months I feel I deserve something more, than an inappropriate answer. and he only visits when it's conveinient for him, per usual. My feelings are never taken in consideration, ever. But are they suppose to be, every Dominant that I have encountered has treated me like a piece of meat, I am a person too. why are they so selfish. I serve him, I honor him, I worship him, and I am in Love with him and he knows all these things and he tells me what a great whore I am and that I am Daddy's babygirl. He's never had to punish me for anything, I do nothing without permission. I told him last week that I was In Love with him, and his reply was OK, well it takes me a little longer but I'll come around. I honestly didn't expect him to tell me the same thing, I just want to be a little more a part of his life. That's all like take me out to dinner once a month, or for a drink, something. Thursday's my Birthday, and I can be certain that it will not be remembered. So, should I remind him. or keep my mouth shut. Please help me....... should I ask to be released now before it gets worse. Daddy's/babygirl Srln: 654-049-049

kinkypuppy2 -> RE: Why after 8 months can't I meet the family (7/29/2008 11:27:28 PM)
Ya think cause he is married and living two lives....

daddysblondie -> RE: Why after 8 months can't I meet the family (7/29/2008 11:32:07 PM)
Could be several reasons, but I will say this. My Daddy and I have been together for about 8 months as well and neither of us has really met any of the other's family. In part because his family is all out of state and introducing him to my uber-judgmental family members wasn't something I was interested in putting him through at this point. He has met my brother and one of my um's. I think you have to decide for yourself if this is an arrangement you can live with or not. Dare I say that if you're unhappy now, it's not going to get any better. Talk to him so that you can make an informed decision that you feel you can live with.

bardtothebone -> RE: Why after 8 months can't I meet the family (7/29/2008 11:38:55 PM)
Kinky's answer is probably more accurate than you'd like - An ongoing marriage [or at least another woman] is a high probability here. This shallow, self-absorbed, disingenuous ingrate does not deserve you, or your love. You don't need to ask for release as you are not yet collared, so walk away and don't even contemplate looking [or ever going] back. The Bard.

GreedyTop -> RE: Why after 8 months can't I meet the family (7/30/2008 12:03:31 AM)
~FR - OT~ wow, Bard.. this is TWO times I've seen you post outside of the intro threads...!!!!

peppermint -> RE: Why after 8 months can't I meet the family (7/30/2008 12:12:56 AM)
It could be that he's just not into you as much as you are into him. You'll have to decide what you are willing to accept. If you are content with seeing him when it's convenient with him and never any other time, that's great. If you need to be a bigger part of his lfe, then you have a problem. No one on this board can read his mind and tell you why he acts the way he does. I could give you 10 reasons why he refuses to introduce you to his family, however, it's possible that his reason might not be among my ten. Right now it is HIS choice to keep you as a separate and hidden part of his life. It is YOUR choice as to whether you can live, thrive, and be happy with the situation of which you are a part.

mypain56 -> RE: Why after 8 months can't I meet the family (7/30/2008 12:47:15 AM)
Ok, i know for a fact the man isn't married. Simply because i have his home phone number, and i have called a few times to talk to him, mostly via cell phone though, he calls me 3 or 4 times a day just to say i am thinking about you and am i behaving myself. So, no he's not married and living two lives. i guess at this time in our involvement he prefers not to accept me as anything more than what i am. and i am new to this town, and i just thought being new in his town, that he would embrace me into his little family so i could feel a sense of belonging.i know he's not hiding things, my neighbor is his son-in-laws boss, and since she lives directly on the other side of me, she see's him come and go. So, maybe i am being overly sensitive and a little to vanilla to want to be that involved. I do know this much he does things at his pace, and he doesn't like to be rushed. So please forgive me for being a brat. Daddy's/babygirl SRLN:654-049-049

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Why after 8 months can't I meet the family (7/30/2008 2:36:44 AM)
I dated a man many years ago who called me a few times every day, and even spent the night ocasionally. (Both on weekend nights and during the week). He took me out for dinner or to events ocasionally, and did work around my house. I had his work number as well as his home number and called him often. (Cell phones, the best friend of the cheating wife/husband). He claimed to be divorced and had 2 young kids, who I talked to a few times on the phone, as well. Imagine my surprise when he turned out to be "happily" married. I wouldn't write off the married man theory so fast. And even if he's not married, you better decide if you want to spend your life being "treated like a piece of meat" as you put it because the only one that can make THAT stop is YOU. As long as you continue to allow it, it WILL continue.

silkncarol -> RE: Why after 8 months can't I meet the family (7/30/2008 2:58:22 AM)
More info would be good........How long have you been moved to his area? (perhaps it's always been this way, but you didn't notice because of the distance) Did ya'll ever sit down disccuss and communicate your needs and expectations from a relationship? Do you have a contract of any kind..and what was covered there? Sounds like you're only getting bits and pieces of him.....is what he gives you enough? It is a TPE......keyword being "exchange".....you get what you put into it....are you being shortchanged in a relationship that doesn't meet your needs? quote: ORIGINAL: bardtothebone Kinky's answer is probably more accurate than you'd like - An ongoing marriage [or at least another woman] is a high probability here. This shallow, self-absorbed, disingenuous ingrate does not deserve you, or your love. You don't need to ask for release as you are not yet collared, so walk away and don't even contemplate looking [or ever going] back. The Bard.

simpleplan2 -> RE: Why after 8 months can't I meet the family (7/30/2008 3:05:23 AM)
Did the two of you ever sit down and discuss what you (both of you) want out of the relationship? Sounds like that talk is long overdue. He may be married, he may be slow to "come around" or he may be perfectly happy with things just the way they are. I've seen many dominant profiles that state they are looking only for someone to use and abuse (their word, not mine) and, since that's not what I am looking for, I pass them by. Since you allude to the fact that all dominants are concerned with themselves only, it sounds like, perhaps, you need to work on your filtering process. I know many doms who have included their slaves/subs into all aspects of their lives and done so happily.

Missokyst -> RE: Why after 8 months can't I meet the family (7/30/2008 4:38:17 AM)
I dont necessarily think he is married. But he may have another relationship on the side. Unfortunately a lot of guys I have met have a nilla life that takes precedence. Nilla girl friend, nilla friends, nilla business contacts, and it is like they cant resolve their kink life and their regular life. It is that madonna/whore complex thing. Separate lives for separate needs. If you havent gone out with the guy other than as a playmate after 8 months he may not see you as part of his life. You may be just part of his kink. If he only picks you up to tie you up, you may just be a sex tool. If you have asked for more and had your feelings sloughed off without an explanation beyond you are the number one slave, he probably only wants to see you that way. Are you satisfied with that? If not pull back now before you are in too deep. Kyst

blacksword404 -> RE: Why after 8 months can't I meet the family (7/30/2008 4:38:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mypain56 I am running from a very bad relationship,and the person in was in jail up till a few months ago. He has two grown daughters, and is divorced and has been for 15 years. I haven't met his daughters yet or his two grandchildren which live with him. I have asked him and he came up with this lame answer. Like what do you want me too do hire a sky writer saying your my slave. It's possible that he is worried about how his family will feel about him having a slave or sub. Or maybe the trouble this other one in jail might bring around his family if he follows you. Over does not always mean over. I can see why when faced with having to move you decide to move to his city. But i can also see it another way. A woman i have been considering just ups and moves to my home town? no warning? there is no law against it but it's a little like say the situation was you two lived in the same city and he moved into the house right next door? to me thats a no-no. Almost like trying to force his hand.

barelynangel -> RE: Why after 8 months can't I meet the family (7/30/2008 4:45:41 AM)
Well this is my take on the one-sided information given, first of all you stated you were under consideration, and this is a relationship of Master and slave. Now he wants to collar you. Have you discussed what that means? Will you be moving in with him, have you been to his home etc? Are you trying to be his girlfriend or his slave? It sounds to me like he sees you as his slave based on his response to your question and you want the picket fence and home of a girlfriend at the very least. You are not actually a slave yet and you are thinking he should embrace you into his whole family? I think there is communication missing on what each of you see the relationship of M/s is. I think being over dramatic about he's married etc is just that over dramatic and pushing the girl into being more insecure about the relationship that she already is. Until you have proof, he is lying to you, i wouldn't jump to conclusions - some men do not see slaves as girlfriends. Neither of you are committed perse` as of yet as you are not his slave, it sounds like he is ready to move to that concept. Now you just have to ask him what that means to him. Maybe he doesn't see that as a girlfriend role, wherein you would meet his family or go to his work functions etc. Maybe he doesn't see the need for his maybe slave to meet his family. Its not hiding you, its simply maybe your value to him has nothing to do with a value a girlfriend would have. He now wants to move it into a more permanent concept of you actually being his slave, its time to ask what that means -- as it may not mean you will be his girlfriend also, which means you may not get all the things a girlfriend would get. To me all of this should have already been discussed in the 8 months proceeding the decision to move into the role of actually being HIS slave. But now is as good a time as any. Also, on an aside, you speak of running from someone, maybe he doesn't want expose his family to that concept until such time he is comfortable that your old relationship isn't going to follow you and he doesn't want to hurt your feelings saying that to you. I mean you speak of running from an abuser who is in jail, would you eagerly expose your family to someone who has that concept lurking around HIM? I doubt you would without being very cautious. angel

Asmodeus -> RE: Why after 8 months can't I meet the family (7/30/2008 4:50:39 AM)
Let's see if I have this right... 1. You moved closer to him (for whatever reason) 2. You consider yourself "his" and have no other "romantic" relationships 3. You do what he tells you without question 4. You make yourself available to him at a moments notice 5. You have no commitment from him of any sort 6. You have opened your feelings to him and given up any pretense of emotional control 7. You can't even expect the acknowledgement of something as simple as your birthday 8. You have no real knowledge about his life outside of the time he's willing to grant you 9. You feel like you're being treated like a piece of meat, don't like it, but it's the way all your relationships have gone. 10. He gets whatever he wants from you, with no real pressure to deliver anything in return And your only concern is that you haven't met his family after 8 months. That about sum it up?

ownedgirlie -> RE: Why after 8 months can't I meet the family (7/30/2008 4:55:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: barelynangel - some men do not see slaves as girlfriends. What she said. And also what she said - ask him what being his slave means. If it means you don't get to be involved in his family and you accept that, then stop demanding it. If you do not accept that, then do not be his slave. Not saying it's easy, but those are the options that I see.

katie978 -> RE: Why after 8 months can't I meet the family (7/30/2008 4:58:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: barelynangel Are you trying to be his girlfriend or his slave? It ...- some men do not see slaves as girlfriends. angel To me, it seems possible he's married, but more likely he sees you simply as a slave. A friend with benefits that he really owes nothing to aside from an occasional roll in the hay. You go to great lengths to please him, and all he does is pat you on the head and tell you, "Good job, whore." It appears that is how he actually thinks of you, it's not just a term of endearment. I suppose it's up to you what you want to do. You've had many bad relationships in the past...will you stick with this one mediocre relationship, even though the two of you clearly want different things?

Missokyst -> RE: Why after 8 months can't I meet the family (7/30/2008 5:02:01 AM)
holey smokes.. unfailing logic. I think I am in love.

Dnomyar -> RE: Why after 8 months can't I meet the family (7/30/2008 5:02:31 AM)
Asmodeus at least she is focused.

apiercedkitty -> RE: Why after 8 months can't I meet the family (7/30/2008 6:36:28 AM)
~FR~ Pretty much the general census seems to be that if you're not getting enough out of this, then you need to leave. Sounds a bit to me like your his doormat and he wipes his feet on you when he feels like it. As long as you continue to let him treat you this way, he will continue to do so. You're the only one who can decide if you're going to put up with it.

angelikaJ -> RE: Why after 8 months can't I meet the family (7/30/2008 6:43:04 AM)
Fast reply: Not everyone is comfortable being open with their friends, acquaintances, family , loved ones etc about their involvement in this lifestyle. It may not be more than that; then again it might. Does this relationship meet your needs or not? That is the question you need to ask...perhaps along with this one: Having recently left a bad relationship are you certain you are ready to be fully involved with someone? Is this the right time for that or do you need some time to regroup, heal, grow...??

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