julietsierra
Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mypain56
Please, I really am confused here, that is why I am coming to a Master too ask this very important question. I have been loyal, devoted, faithful, obiedient, for 8 months now. For reasons I could not control, I was able to move closer to him. But honestly not because of him. I am running from a very bad relationship,and the person in was in jail up till a few months ago.The Dominant I have been seeing for 8 months, mentioned all the opportunities that they had in his home town which I admit there are many. so needing to run before my abuser got out of jail I moved away. My Dominant had me under consideration for the last 8 months, just recently lifting it. And now he would like to collar me. The problem is that I am having is that, do most Dominants keep there submissives a secret and away from the family. He has two grown daughters, and is divorced and has been for 15 years. I haven't met his daughters yet or his two grandchildren which live with him. Please tell me if I am being stupid here. I have asked him and he came up with this lame answer. Like what do you want me too do hire a sky writer saying your my slave. Well # 1 I am not his slave and after all these many months I feel I deserve something more, than an inappropriate answer. and he only visits when it's conveinient for him, per usual. My feelings are never taken in consideration, ever. But are they suppose to be, every Dominant that I have encountered has treated me like a piece of meat, I am a person too. why are they so selfish. I serve him, I honor him, I worship him, and I am in Love with him and he knows all these things and he tells me what a great whore I am and that I am Daddy's babygirl. He's never had to punish me for anything, I do nothing without permission. I told him last week that I was In Love with him, and his reply was OK, well it takes me a little longer but I'll come around. I honestly didn't expect him to tell me the same thing, I just want to be a little more a part of his life. That's all like take me out to dinner once a month, or for a drink, something. Thursday's my Birthday, and I can be certain that it will not be remembered. So, should I remind him. or keep my mouth shut. Please help me....... should I ask to be released now before it gets worse.
Daddy's/babygirl
Srln: 654-049-049
Wow. Here's the thing...
This life - and the involvement of you with his family - is not a balance sheet. You don't get to tab off everything you do with the idea that if you do enough, he'll introduce you. His family is not your reward for being good for crying out loud!
I had Dominants who would routinely express all you're saying to me back when I was looking. I'll tell you exactly what I told them.
"If you make demands on me to introduce my family to you before I'm ready, you can keep on walking. My family is not a part of our relationship and I do NOT parade the new men in my life in front of them like my first crush. There is not one thing you can do to "prove yourself" or "earn" your way into my family. My job - my SOLE job is to keep them safe and until I feel they are with whomever I go out with, they are never ever part of the equation. This means that my willingness to have you meet my family comes from inside ME - and not according to any time schedule you may have."
I walked away from PLENTY of men. I often heard "If any submissive of MINE told me I couldn't come to her house when we've already been going out for MONTHS, I'm walking away from her." And my response was "do it now. Cause not one dominant is in charge of my children - ever." Thankfully, they did.
It took my Master TWO YEARS to meet my immediate family members. On that day, he met the males in my family for all of 30 minutes. That was it... for.. about another year. The following year, he met my parents - we were both ready for that by then. He didn't demand it. We happened to be going somewhere out my way and I was having car problems. He suggested that he meet me at my house to pick me up. I was at my folks. *I* suggested meeting me there. He would NEVER presume to tell me who of my family he was going to meet - no matter HOW long we'd been going out. They are MY family. About 3 weeks later, he met my female famil member for the first time - for 15 minutes. That was it.
Since then, he's seen them a smattering of times - mostly for minutes here and there. He doesn't push and I don't force the issue. Since that time, he knows he's invited to family functions. He more often than not, declines. I don't push. I don't make excuses to my family and he doesn't make excuses to me. When he does things like spend time with my family, it'll be cause he chooses to and I choose for him to - not because either of us is forcing the issue.
OP, your submission to him is not a balance sheet. You can't give 50 dollars and expect change. His family is his family and when he's ready, he'll introduce them. If this is not acceptable to you, then, like the men in my life before my Master, God gave you feet and a brain. If this isn't good enough for you, then make a decision with one and take action with the other. And if you're not going to leave the situation you're in, then quit complaining and recognize that his family is not your prize for being a "good girl."
Those folks are his family - that's it. That's all.
juliet
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RE: Why after 8 months can't I meet the family - 
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