WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO ENJOY IT ??

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO ENJOY IT ??

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO ENJOY IT ??

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO ENJOY ... - 11/17/2005 7:26:29 PM

MasterDaveKa

Posts: 5
Joined: 6/23/2005
Status: offline

I'm a Dom whose Sub is asking questions. I need advice.

OK, so as a sadist, I know that inflicting pain to train, discipline, punish, and have intense interactions (that lead sex and making up...) is a lot of fun. Its just terrific!!!

The question is: "Why and how does a Sub ENJOY pain as a REWARD ????" Help me to better understand the motivations of a masochist in this regard. Also, what should be my psychologically appealing "words of wisdom" to her ??

Thanks.

Post #: 1

RE: WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO EN... - 11/17/2005 7:31:37 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

First I'd say that a masochist and a submissive are two different things. Sometimes they overlap, sometimes they do not.

My slave is not a masochist but because I am a sadist he must deal with the ocassional SM session with me. He gets the pleasure of knowing he is pleasing me.

When I've combined that with some sexual stimulation he has, over the years, developed a better tolerance and appreciation of some forms of SM (spanking is the biggest change) to the point of asking for those activities himself.

However, I do not expect him to enjoy a flogging or want hot wax play. In other words, I knew he wasn't a masochist when I got him, I decided then that having a good service focused slave was more important to me.

They may not be much you or she can do to increase her enjoyment of pain if she just is not wired that way. If you can change it to a degree, my guess is that it will take time and effort from both of you.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MasterDaveKa)

Post #: 2

RE: WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO EN... - 11/17/2005 7:38:29 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterDaveKa
I know that inflicting pain to train, discipline, punish, and have intense interactions (that lead sex and making up...)

The question is: Why and how does a Sub ENJOY pain as a REWARD ????"

Why does the TV turn to channel 13 when you put it there? How do it know?

Endorphins is a common reason.....
The challenge of mentally "holding it together"; another
The relief when it is all done, washing over you; another

Words of wisdom?
Already set forth.....
I am doing this because you are being punished.....
I am doing this because it causes you pleasure......

Let the one in pain deal with it.

Still their choice......

LOL,
Ron

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 11/17/2005 7:44:56 PM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to MasterDaveKa)

Post #: 3

RE: WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO EN... - 11/17/2005 7:58:04 PM

ToServeIsToLive

Posts: 222
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

With certain types and at certain levels pain really relaxes me. my muscles go slack and my mind calms Once it goes outside of the type and past that level though, i start having a hard time dealing with it, and further tolerance of it would be to please a Mistress. Everyones definitly differrent though.

(in reply to MasterDaveKa)

Post #: 4

RE: WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO EN... - 11/17/2005 8:21:28 PM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

i have no words of wisdom on this matter for pain=punishment.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterDaveKa

I'm a Dom whose Sub is asking questions. I need advice.

OK, so as a sadist, I know that inflicting pain to train, discipline, punish, and have intense interactions (that lead sex and making up...) is a lot of fun. Its just terrific!!!

The question is: "Why and how does a Sub ENJOY pain as a REWARD ????" Help me to better understand the motivations of a masochist in this regard. Also, what should be my psychologically appealing "words of wisdom" to her ??

Thanks.

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to MasterDaveKa)

Post #: 5

RE: WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO EN... - 11/17/2005 8:21:50 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

My answer dittos Tammyjo's and I will just add that how I like to put it is:

I like everything about pain play except the pain part.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 6

RE: WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO EN... - 11/17/2005 9:10:51 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I dopnt have strong sadistic or masiochist tendencies most of the time. However there are times when i'm in a lot of pain. I'll self administer pain in a different area to take my minf of the original pain. This also works when ive really screwed op and hurt some one I care for, I'll self punish by punching the crap out of either a punching bag or a board tightly wrapped with rope untill either the board/bag breaks or I have bloodied knuckles minus a lot of skin. When finished I'm in a state of tranquility and ready to meditate.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 7

RE: WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO EN... - 11/17/2005 10:06:12 PM

jamesthehumanrug

Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline

dear dava ka master,
GREETINGS,
basic dynamics really: ,but, beyond the scope ,of this space ,to go, thru all the volumes, of knowledge ,on the subject ,of: what a top, or ,esp. a bottom psychology is ,in regards,to liking pain ,for sex.i hope i can be simple ,and ,clear ,because, IN BED; it boils down ,to you have, to take me(bottom), and,you have ,to earn me( top),but ,there's more, to it ,than, that, but, that's' SCIENCE', beyond the space here....,and, it is somewhat ,individual, if you want ,to actually calculate this one bottom, or ,that....
i'm, not sure what the" bottom"is asking ;you never said what the bottoms ' specific question is....it sounds like you're asking ,but, the tendency ,for a bottom, to enjoy sex ,only ,after the ,infiction ,of the right kind ,of consentual pain is what ",opens the flood gates"....
you know slaves have all, that guilt ,and ,'only ,if.... you really beat me; can i really be interested'.... ,and ,really go, to town ,for the two, of us,so ,to speak....
a provintial type; catholic-attitude, in some sense.you have to brake down the walls,to get to the center.
very generally speaking:some people are subdued ,by nature; taught manners ,as an emphasis ,and,lifetime priority, and, need ,to feel free;
ie:,that it's" o.k. ",to feel,or do this ,and,likewise :the top ,too has, to feel,
ie: 'to get me intimately,or sexually: you have, to really suffer, for it ,or earn it -cause :i'm special,or i'm no slut ;you are-,(,if i beat you ),
so the" pain" allows the gates ,to open:allows the getting,of "pleasure" ,for the two....
the top allowing it ,after the rights ,of passage ,and, the bottom has their flood gates ,open ,now ,and ,it's "ok", to orgasm and have sex because : i'm being hurt, for it.
here's, another type ,of typical example ,on the bottoms' possible senario, in regards, to pain -one broad example-
" ugggh-i can't get ,into tits ,and ,azzz
its everywhere
its boring
its vanilla
,or: it's work ,or performance, but,
i do change my mind ,for sure ,if you beat me ....,
then the bottom's REALLY GREAT IN BED ,NOW
( it's ,just the right top ;delivering the right pain ,for, sex ,that would'nt be had ,or desired any ,other usual,or more available,and,much less COMPLICATED way.)

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 11/17/2005 10:40:36 PM >

_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to MasterDaveKa)

Post #: 8

RE: WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO EN... - 11/17/2005 10:10:54 PM

hotshot

Posts: 9
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline

i'm kinda the opposite of thetammyjo's slave -- i'm a masochist but not all that submissive (though i enjoy playing the sub role). i have no idea why i like to get beat up, waxed, racked, forced to do heavy labor, shocked, clamped, hogtied, etc., etc., etc. it doesn't make any sense, obviously, and i guess i'm just wired that way. but i do like it. for one thing, it turns me on. also, like mnottertail said, the challenge of 'resisting' is very exciting for me, kind of an "i-can-take-it" defiance. perhaps it's a metaphor for dealing with the challenges we face in the world. i understand, of course, that most people think being tortured would be awful (even as just a game: why would anyone want to play that game?). but i like it. it is what it is.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 9

RE: WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO EN... - 11/17/2005 10:32:28 PM

jro2020

Posts: 160
Joined: 10/23/2005
From: Idaho
Status: offline

Me, Dom, not sadist or masochist.
My ex, sub, had both sasitic and masochistic tendencies.

My thoughts on pain have to do with love and safety. For us pain was only an extention of pleasure. Because we both knew that we were safe in eachothers arms and all our actions were motivated by caring, love, and desire to cause joy and pleasure in the other person; it did not matter what form of stimulation we engaged in, it was all good. Pain is linked to fear. If you believe (wheather or not it is true) you are safe then you are free to process any nerve impulses as pleasure. Since there are many more nerve ending that typically are linked with "pain" we could stimulate much greater levels, almost altered states, during our love making.

Of course this does not explain all masochists but it does explain some. Also remember some people are wired differently. Some people will never enjoy anal sex because they have few or no nerves linked to the pleasure centers of the brain, where as somepeople will love it for the opposite reason.

_____________________________

Visit me at http://blog.kistren.com

(in reply to MasterDaveKa)

Post #: 10

RE: WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO EN... - 11/17/2005 10:34:10 PM

orfunboi

Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

i have been asked this dozens of times, and the honest answer is, i have no clue. i just know i like it a whole lot, kinda like chocolate. It's just good.

(in reply to MasterDaveKa)

Post #: 11

RE: WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO EN... - 11/17/2005 11:16:46 PM

peppermint379

Posts: 111
Joined: 8/18/2004
Status: offline

quote:

"Why and how does a Sub ENJOY pain as a REWARD ????"

First i must say that pain can be such a relaxing experience. For me it's rather like a good massage. A massage can be painful at times, but when it's all over you are so very relaxed.

Then there is the endorphin rush. I will admit to being an endorphin junkie. Those endorphins get me high, make me happy in a way i can't explain.

Lastly, there is the mental challenge. I know that the cane hurts....lordy does it hurt sometimes!!! Yet, i can control how i think of that pain with my mind, and with the help and encouragement of my partner, accept that another swat will be coming soon. We, sadist and masochist, work together to help one another make it a good experience for us both.

As a sub i enjoy serving, respecting, and trusting my partner. As a masochist i also enjoy serving, respecting, and trusting my sadist partner.

(in reply to MasterDaveKa)

Post #: 12

RE: WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO EN... - 11/18/2005 5:22:25 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

I'm convinced that masochists process some pain differently. While I enjoy a spanking, stubbing my toe really hurts in a nonerotic way. The pain that we use during a session usually start off as strong sensations that gradually increase allowing the endorphins to mellow what we feel.

Think of it this way: To me one of the most excrutiating thing is a deep tissue massage, while my friends think it's the most wonderful thing in the world. It's all about how our bodies process what it feels.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to peppermint379)

Post #: 13

RE: WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO EN... - 11/18/2005 5:45:07 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
I'm convinced that masochists process some pain differently.

I've just decided that they are aliens.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 14

RE: WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO EN... - 11/18/2005 6:25:38 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
I'm convinced that masochists process some pain differently.

I've just decided that they are aliens.

Which planet?

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 15

RE: WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO EN... - 11/18/2005 6:46:05 AM

justatoy2

Posts: 163
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

while i am not a 100 percent masochist, i do enjoy pain..not all pain..but erotic pain. If i stub my toe..damn it hurts and i jump around saying ow ow ow ow ow....if my Dom floggs me..well thats just yummy..why? Well the reason being, i think is first of all he builds on it. Layers it, he doesn't jsut start off full force. Builds up and lets the endorphins catch up. There are also times i can tolerate and enjoy pain more than at other times. It could be my mind set, whats going on emotionaly with me. I am fortunate that he doesn't use pain as punishment. He has other methods that are much more effective and that works for us. I think i would begin to confuse the two because pain is so pleasurable for me...and if i associated it with punishment or being bad, i don't know if i would enjoy it as much.

(in reply to MasterDaveKa)

Post #: 16

RE: WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO EN... - 11/18/2005 7:17:41 AM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

Hello All,
I am a sub who loves spankings, floggings, whips, paddles, electricity, needles etc..
Though I really don't enjoy the hard stings too much, I love that I can take hard spankings for my Master and the Doms I play with.
The endorphins are wonderful.
The whole gift of the sensation that's being given to me is very sexy. Knowing they enjoy the energy as much as I enjoy taking it from them is sexy.
The warm sting and bruises I have in my butt for days reminding me of their attentions keeps me turned on for days.
The day after I have needles in my twat I'm very aware of my pussy and horny all day.
I have not found sub space in pain play as I crave the sensations and the processing of them too much to try and not feel it. I use more of a mind over matter system to process things.
Over all most of the hard play is a release of a sensual nature I enjoy greatly.

They printed a report about vanilla people being caned in a German Medicle Journal. Over all the people had better self esteem, self control, and were, healthier and happier in less than three months. Not only that, but they were trying to make early and extra appointments.

Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to MasterDaveKa)

Post #: 17

RE: WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO EN... - 11/18/2005 7:25:10 AM

slavedesires

Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

My answer dittos Tammyjo's and I will just add that how I like to put it is:

I like everything about pain play except the pain part.

EM2...I was anticipating more of an answer from you...was actually looking forward to it...
but I can go to other posts of yours for an answer to this...

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 18

RE: WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO EN... - 11/18/2005 7:42:28 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavedesires
EM2...I was anticipating more of an answer from you...was actually looking forward to it...
but I can go to other posts of yours for an answer to this...

Ooo I can still surprise people, that makes me tingle.

(in reply to slavedesires)

Post #: 19

RE: WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO EN... - 11/18/2005 8:45:08 AM

AlderTheKitty

Posts: 174
Joined: 10/3/2005
From: Oshawa
Status: offline

i get off on the endoraphrins not the pain as the pain build so do there then there is the feeling of pleaseing my top. now i just need to find a domme who is kind enough to be worth of my service hmm i hope i find her soon

_____________________________

i am a strong person and will not be pushed around which makes my submission a special gift that few are going to receave

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> WHY EXPERIENCE PAIN, AND WHAT MOTIVATES A SUB TO ENJOY IT ??

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094