RE: Am I wasting my time??? (Full Version)

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burningdesires47 -> RE: Am I wasting my time??? (8/4/2008 4:53:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyJenasighd

Can anyone answer why subs/slaves do this??? Are they being rude? SHy? or just dont care????



If it makes you feel better, it's not restricted to just subs... everyone* does it here.

ETA: * By which I mean all orientations, sorry, apparently I need more coffee.



burningdesires47 -> RE: Am I wasting my time??? (8/4/2008 5:04:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

If someone writes something polite to you, it is polite to respond at least with a no-thank-you.  There is no exception for the Internet, despite the number of rude people on the Internet.


from my experience, that merely opens up a HUGE can of worms with responses ranging from "why aren't i the dominant you're looking for" to "i was never really interested in havins sex with your fat ass to begin with" to the ever popular - "you're fake ".

why type "not interested" and get a whole lot of unnecessary drama/rantings from dominants (and dommes) who simply cannot handle rejection? screw that - if i don't read/reply back to you, i wasn't interested in you particularly the first place. this saves on your fingers typing back "you're too fat for me anyway" response for my spambox.

I find this to be the exception, not the rule. When I do write to say I am not interested, often I get a response,"thank you for responding."

Your exception is my exception. I've only had one polite email exchange that involved me rejecting them. One. In a year and change on here, and a fairly active email account.

Of course there's also something to be said for the fact that it's rare for me to get a polite email to respond to. If they cannot red my profile, then why should I be bothered responding? (i.e. my profile currently says I am only looking for friends and FEMALE lovers, yet I keep getting inundated with messages from subbie men. Previously I had an age range and stated that while I am a switch that I was looking for a dominant, and yet, subbie men and women were coming out of the woodworks to fail miserably at treating me like a goddess, despite their obnoxious efforts. No response at that point is the only polite response I can give.)

Although I suppose that's not included in the original context, since you DID say "If someone writes a polite email to you." But what you call a polite email, I might not. The receiver's opinion of what qualifies as polite matters here, too.



urtoy -> RE: Am I wasting my time??? (8/4/2008 5:22:54 AM)

I've had plenty of similar experiences in terms of abusive replies to polite expressions of no interest and have no desire to subject myself to such drama. Then there are those who, while reasonably polite, need to argue. Example: the submissive guy who asserts "but I can be dominant". (my response "Huh?"). Or the guy younger than my kids who maintains that he "likes older women" (translation:"I want to get laid"), or the city dweller (Chicagoland is one of my hasrd limits) who repeatedly asserts "but I'd love to live in a small community" (translation:"I need a place to live"). While I started with the view that every polite and intelligible e-mail deserves a response, I no longer feel that way due  to these problems.
And guys, occasionally an e-mail gets overlooked if read at an inconvenient time. It's easy to forget to come back to respond to a stranger.



gypsygrl -> RE: Am I wasting my time??? (8/4/2008 7:32:42 AM)

I'm not reading much mail right now.  For a long time, I felt obligated to read and respond to pretty much every mail I got.  I didn't always do it, but I felt bad for not doing it.  I don't feel that way anymore.  Dunno why.  Just a little bit of guilt I've managed to get over.



KatyLied -> RE: Am I wasting my time??? (8/4/2008 7:41:29 AM)

quote:

When I do write to say I am not interested, often I get a response,"thank you for responding."


I often get things like:  "you aren't a true sub" "please meet me for coffee" "you're a bitch" "if you were a submissive you would meet me" "I won't talk to you unless you promise to meet me" Some get angry, some just act like whiny little boys.  I find that it's best not to open a door with a decline as it tends to bring out the worst in immature men.



fyreredsub -> RE: Am I wasting my time??? (8/4/2008 7:52:34 AM)

 
fr

its funny cause lately i've been trying to not  be a biace and send some sort of  polite response back

well i had someone tell me today i NEEDED to take my profile off of CM since i was here for the forums[8|]

it happens to all of us no matter the gender or dynamic..

I am NOT going to take ownership of how someone else feels when they send an unsolicited email

so i'm going to go back to the 'just deleting' after reading the profile and not wasting my time

cause there is way too many___________ (fill in the blank with your favorite adjective)



angelwithhonor -> RE: Am I wasting my time??? (8/4/2008 8:17:44 AM)

see i feel that i am not being respectful if i dont respond to the emails. i have many times been told "thank you for responding quickly" its just my nature to respect them with a note back. they did take time to write it after all. but i have had one or to that called me a fake . or the ones that are just plain rude. which i may respond back with a smartass comment.



KatyLied -> RE: Am I wasting my time??? (8/4/2008 8:20:17 AM)

quote:

see i feel that i am not being respectful if i dont respond to the emails.


I don't feel that I have to respectful to anonymous people on-line just because they self-identify as "dominant".



angelwithhonor -> RE: Am I wasting my time??? (8/4/2008 8:31:09 AM)

...you know i have seen many threads on this subject. and have never wrote back here. i know many feel the same way you do katie. i dont know, i guess its just me. i respect the first time if warrant to. then if i get a nasty email back, well then it ends. [:D]



gypsygrl -> RE: Am I wasting my time??? (8/4/2008 8:49:36 AM)

Just a general thought:  I don't feel the need to answer my phone just because it rings, either.  If I don't recognize the number, alot of times I don't pick up. 



GreedyTop -> RE: Am I wasting my time??? (8/4/2008 8:52:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub
it happens to all of us no matter the gender or dynamic..

I am NOT going to take ownership of how someone else feels when they send an unsolicited email

so i'm going to go back to the 'just deleting' after reading the profile and not wasting my time

cause there is way too many___________ (fill in the blank with your favorite adjective)


hear hear



OmegaG -> RE: Am I wasting my time??? (8/4/2008 9:02:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003

Most of the people here seem to believe that no response is a response, but I know for fact that this is not always the case.  Many Mistresses are inundated with mail and it has happened more than once that my introduction has been lost in the shuffle.  If there is a Mistress that I really do want to get to know I will usually send a first introduction, and if i hear nothing at all from her i will send a follow up about a week later.  There have been at least a half-dozen times that my initial letter was overlooked or lost in the shuffle and they either had not seen my initial letter or they HAD seen it and wanted further information only to accidently lose my letter in some fashion.  If however i hear nothing after the SECOND letter, then THAT is a response.

And yes, to me not responding, especially to a thoughtful and informative letter that someone has put time into is definitely rude.  But that simply tells me that this would not be the kind of person i want further correspondance with anyway.


If someone sparks my interest, it is my responsibility to make sure I convey that information.  Therefore I don't accidently delete their e-mail or forget to respond.  But then I also find those who continue to send unsolicited e-mails without encouragement to be on the desperate side of things and I am unattracted to desperation.



OmegaG -> RE: Am I wasting my time??? (8/4/2008 9:04:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

Just a general thought:  I don't feel the need to answer my phone just because it rings, either.  If I don't recognize the number, alot of times I don't pick up. 


Believe it or not, I've had people suggest that it is rude not to answer my phone everytime it rings.  IMO people who think like this tend to think that their time is more valuable then mine.  Since I recieve no benefit in answering every last stupid e-mail that is sent to me, I honestly don't care if one of the people I didn't respond to thinks I am rude.



beargonewild -> RE: Am I wasting my time??? (8/4/2008 9:33:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyJenasighd

So my question has to do with emails.

I personally hate getting one liners or anything rude in a email. So I take the time to read a persons profile and respond how I feel a right. But I find it very rude when a sub/slave deletes the email as it were nothing. This actually bugs my alot. I just feel as though if I take the time to read your info and email you, you should at least read it, and reply saying " hey fuck off I dont like you" or something.

Can anyone answer why subs/slaves do this??? Are they being rude? SHy? or just dont care????

         ~Temptation~       ~ForePlay~      ~Passion~

          LadyJensighd and Sir Real


Greetings LadyJenasightd, let me say as a sub I have gotten several emails from people who either write one liners or the woman states she believes we wold make a great couple and she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. This only makes me chuckle as they clam to have read my profile prior to writing me. Allow me to state a few reasons why I simply delete the message without replying back with "thanks but no thanks."

1) more often then not, they never read my polite reply back to them stating what I am seeking.
2) they fail to comprehend that I have a Sir, I am not looking for a wife/Mistress/female sex partner.
3) Why should I write back saying I'm not interested and they fail to bother reading. My not responding back is a response back.
4) If they can't undetrstand that I do not desire a woman, then don't lie to me and say we'd make a good couple.

Yes, my reasons may sound harsh but it gets the point across to these type of unsolicitated emails

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyJenasighd

Can anyone answer why subs/slaves do this??? Are they being rude? SHy? or just dont care????



To answer your question: yes.

Yet if a person messages me regarding a post I made and they wanted to continue a discussion over it, I am more than willing to reply back.



CelticPrince -> RE: Am I wasting my time??? (8/4/2008 10:14:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyJenasighd

So my question has to do with emails.

I personally hate getting one liners or anything rude in a email. So I take the time to read a persons profile and respond how I feel a right. But I find it very rude when a sub/slave deletes the email as it were nothing. This actually bugs my alot. I just feel as though if I take the time to read your info and email you, you should at least read it, and reply saying " hey fuck off I dont like you" or something.

Can anyone answer why subs/slaves do this??? Are they being rude? SHy? or just dont care????

         ~Temptation~       ~ForePlay~      ~Passion~

          LadyJensighd and Sir Real

LadyJ,

they are just lazy and have no sense of responsibility to the path.

CP












GreedyTop -> RE: Am I wasting my time??? (8/4/2008 10:22:07 AM)

Bear! I thought we agreed thatwe wouldnt talk about that slip of mine.. *sigh*

*snort*



littlesarbonn -> RE: Am I wasting my time??? (8/4/2008 10:47:34 AM)

You have actually become the recipient of the solution to the problem that exists with so many people trying to make contact with women on these boards. Your profile indicates that you are part of a dominant couple seeking ONLY women. Therefore, the assumption is made that you have sent your emails out to women who have then turned around and deleted your emails.

Why is this okay when women do this to the men who contact them, but it somehow does not seem okay if it's from a woman (or a couple that has at least one woman)? It's no different. I'm sure these female submissives you are contacting are innundated with tons and tons of email from people who want to control, play with them, or whatever. Why is it somehow wrong that they have deleted your email instead of give you a response that you seem to feel worthy? I know that if I wrote them as a dominant male (which I'm not) and initiated contact, and they ignored me, not a single person on the boards would give it a second thought.



DominaYork -> RE: Am I wasting my time??? (8/4/2008 11:24:06 AM)

LOL I was thinking the same thing gypsy! To the point where I haven't had a landline phone in my home for about six years. The cell goes with me, I don't miss what's important. If by some chance I answer I number I don't know and they try to sell me something and I say no, they don't go on and on trying to convince me they're perfect for me...unlike emails. Delete, hang up, it's all the same.

Also, I think a lot of women get shotgun emails. The 'I'll throw it against every wall and see what sticks.' kind of emails. I tend not to answer these. If, however, the fellow bothers again to contact me he's more likely to get a response.

I don't whine about not hearing back from people I contact either. Life and time are limited. If I don't suit someone, so be it. Plenty of other wonderful chances out there.



OriginalStuff -> RE: Am I wasting my time??? (8/4/2008 11:26:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyJenasighd

So are you saying ANYONE who emails you you delete block right on the spot? That seems pretty silly to me.


I was signed into pj's account last night when I responded to this, so to clarify:

For Myself, My profile clearly states who I will accept emails from and who I will not accept emails from.  It is not my problem if people refuse to read and respect what I have put into My profile. A sub/slave writing to me has already disrespected Me by writing in the first place, and You honestly believe they deserve the respect of a reply?  Okkkkkkkkk! 

For My girl, again her profile clearly states NO CONTACT without permission from Me first.  What part of that statement says You deserve a response to Your email?  It was her request to put that on her profile after she received email after email from "Dominants" demanding she "serve" them online.

quote:

And I personally think if someone isnt Allowed to talk/email/chat they should say this so that people dont step on toes.


Perhaps if You had read the profile of the person You were responding to, stepping on toes wouldn't be an issue. 

OriginalStuff

edited because it's Monday........



LadyJenasighd -> RE: Am I wasting my time??? (8/4/2008 12:33:06 PM)

Thank you Focus50, that was very very well said. And I take that to heart as its been one of few comments that actually means something.

So thank you again...


          ~LadyJenasighd & SirReel~

                      ~Temptation~       ~ForePlay~      ~Passion~




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