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RE: The Predator Dom- arch-villain or over-hyped phantom ? - 11/18/2005 7:19:23 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jacques1000
The point about investing is a good one. I guess from my point of view, having identified that they are people out there who need to be informed, how do you that so both Ds and Subs can act.

One also needs to keep in mind the SCORES of submissives who are either scorned women or who simply didn't get pampered like they wanted and thus turn it around and make themselves into victims.

Happens all the time.

(in reply to Jacques1000)
Profile   Post #: 21
The Predator Dom exposed - 11/18/2005 7:23:25 AM   
Jacques1000


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That is quite true. But declaring it publically, or within a defined community would give both parties a degree of security, but point taken. "Beware, anyone acting in a suspiciously friendly manner and offer to be helpful".

In reponse to LA, some are in the community, some are not. If they were, a group can exert quite powerful pressures against errant members. When you say "Our" I am not sure what they collective pronoun refers. I don't see it as meddling at all. If you are told someone is destructive or dangerous, you still have a personal choice to make irrespective. You take full responsibilities for all decisions you make. If we step beyond your own personal circumstances for a minute, if you had a child, would you allow them to make all their decisions ? At what age or level of experience do you stop ? THough a crude metaphor, the analogy holds...

...think of it as BDSM with trainer wheels. People still fall off as they learn to ride, and every those who have been riding for years need to maintenance their fitness and equipment, and still they have the occassional spill.

I am geting a sense you are anti-communitarian, which is fine. Am I right about that ?

(in reply to happypervert)
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RE: The Predator Dom- arch-villain or over-hyped phantom ? - 11/18/2005 7:25:34 AM   
Jacques1000


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yes, it does, but then there are the screeds of subs who are already psychologically scarred and are looking for more...

you can usually lead a horse to water, ya can't make'em drink.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: The Predator Dom- arch-villain or over-hyped phantom ? - 11/18/2005 7:25:51 AM   
JohnWarren


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Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross


quote:

ORIGINAL: Jacques1000
The point about investing is a good one. I guess from my point of view, having identified that they are people out there who need to be informed, how do you that so both Ds and Subs can act.

quote:


One also needs to keep in mind the SCORES of submissives who are either scorned women or who simply didn't get pampered like they wanted and thus turn it around and make themselves into victims.

Happens all the time.


From my observation of the scene for a while, I find the greatest danger not to be "predators" but novice (and some not so novice) doms who get in over their heads because they are either overconfident or lacking enough confidence that they undertake scenes for which they aren't prepared.

Now there are a lot of idiots (particularly online where reality takes a longer time to hit them hard) people classify as "predators" but in reality, they are just poor fools who are trying to live an unattainable fantasy.

Most of the real predators in this world seem to shy away from the scene simply because sharing information is so prevalent.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: The Predator Dom- arch-villain or over-hyped phantom ? - 11/18/2005 7:30:00 AM   
Jacques1000


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that may very well be true...

however...what do you do about a guy who has have acted in the way above such they are traumatised a person with un-expected knife, needle and blood play whilst that person was suspended and then left....

Naming and Shaming ?
Vigilantes with burning torches ?
Silence ?

This is where the community could stand and say: This is unacceptable.

(in reply to JohnWarren)
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RE: The Predator Dom- arch-villain or over-hyped phantom ? - 11/18/2005 7:41:27 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jacques1000
This is where the community could stand and say: This is unacceptable.

I'm not going on a witch hunt. All I know here is some vague cyber accusations.

Do I help where I can, yes. But I'm not going to go all up in arms, ridicule and banish some guy just because a chickie is going around bad mouthing someone else and acting all victimized.

I get myself educated, I get myself informed, and then I make my own choices.

(in reply to Jacques1000)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: The Predator Dom- arch-villain or over-hyped phantom ? - 11/18/2005 7:43:35 AM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline 		I know one who is here at CM that I would love to warn all against. I would not necessarily call him a 'predator' in the terms that some define 'predator' here but this man is someone I would suggest turning and running from.

A man convicted of sexual exploitation of a child. In my opinion the worst kind of predator.

What has he done here at CM? He contacted someone here that I know in person. After much chatting they decided to meet. Her told her that his car was in the shop so she could come to his house. (no...don't do that!). She went to his house and, low and behold, he could not meet here elsewhere because he was wearing a house arrest ankle bracelet.

People mention 'references'. Names given by the person you wish to meet or get involved with are usually people who will make postive comments. Had this person asked around, asked other people in the community about this man then she probably would have learned of his situation.

_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to Jacques1000)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: The Predator Dom- arch-villain or over-hyped phantom ? - 11/18/2005 7:52:14 AM   
Jacques1000


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well, each to their own, but I don't want to trivialize someone's trauma either. This would same akin to telling a rape victim "to harden up and get over".

I am not asking you to go a witch-hunt: I was asking you what your response would be to the situaton described. Let's not be hypotherical about things--it did happen.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: The Predator Dom- arch-villain or over-hyped phantom ? - 11/18/2005 7:57:44 AM   
Jacques1000


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great post. just the sort of issue I was looking to deconstruct and disentangle.

Ok, so this guy is on here and is a paedophile. What does a rersponsible community do ?

IN r/t, in New Zealand a leading journalist who became an MP published a list of sexual offenders....it was controversial. Libertarians were up in arms. Occassionally, the arrival of a paedophile into a community without prior knowledge causes vigilante type action

If the man is a convicted child abuser, and all others can have information verified offline, should not just set up a hall of shame for those with histories ? Do you as a parent have a right to Know ? Yes, I believe you do. If you still want to associate with them, that then is an informed choice and this to me is about informed choice.

(in reply to Elegant)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: The Predator Dom- arch-villain or over-hyped phantom ? - 11/18/2005 8:00:05 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jacques1000
I am not asking you to go a witch-hunt: I was asking you what your response would be to the situaton described. Let's not be hypotherical about things--it did happen.

The situation of the young person was extremely one-sided, vague and from the perspective of a young novice.

The situation of the older person sounds just like someone who wasn't trusting their own judgement and making their choices and didn't make the best ones for themselves.

My response IF this person came to me for help would be lots and lots and LOTS of questions, followed by working with them to understand where they went wrong in their choices, what sorts of confidence they need to have and move on.

(in reply to Jacques1000)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: The Predator Dom- arch-villain or over-hyped phantom ? - 11/18/2005 8:05:54 AM   
Jacques1000


Posts: 273
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Did you really expect me to give you a blow by blow analysis ? The woman thang started at 15. She wanted to end things, he tried to extort with photos taken. He is the same guy, who had the person needing to be cut down. If you want to speak to him, get his perspective a la Diane Sawyer....

Again, you have either misunderstood or subverted the question. The young woman is in capable hands.....and the older woman is moving on. That I am assisting both is not a crime.

I was referring to the perpetrator.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: The Predator Dom- arch-villain or over-hyped phantom ? - 11/18/2005 8:10:25 AM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jacques1000


great post. just the sort of issue I was looking to deconstruct and disentangle.

Ok, so this guy is on here and is a paedophile. What does a rersponsible community do ?

IN r/t, in New Zealand a leading journalist who became an MP published a list of sexual offenders....it was controversial. Libertarians were up in arms. Occassionally, the arrival of a paedophile into a community without prior knowledge causes vigilante type action

If the man is a convicted child abuser, and all others can have information verified offline, should not just set up a hall of shame for those with histories ? Do you as a parent have a right to Know ? Yes, I believe you do. If you still want to associate with them, that then is an informed choice and this to me is about informed choice.



One can find a list of convicted Sexual predator in the US online, free. At this point it's now up to each individual to research themselves or ask for help in gathering more information about potential partners.

Hell, I did a sexual predator search on Master Archer when we started becoming 'involved'. I also do a search monthly within my zip code.



_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to Jacques1000)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: The Predator Dom- arch-villain or over-hyped phantom ? - 11/18/2005 8:14:56 AM   
Jacques1000


Posts: 273
Joined: 10/30/2005
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ok, if you have the tools that would seem straightforward.

So, what about the guy, who ties someone up and cuts them with a scalpel and uses needles (all of which was taked about and agreed would never happen) and leaves them tired up for houses just because he thinks that is amusing, clever and enjoyable---meanwhile the subject is traumatized and in need of medical attention (stitches, and relatively minor stuff). What then ?

(in reply to Elegant)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: The Predator Dom- arch-villain or over-hyped phantom ? - 11/18/2005 8:23:46 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jacques1000
Again, you have either misunderstood or subverted the question. The young woman is in capable hands.....and the older woman is moving on. That I am assisting both is not a crime.

I was referring to the perpetrator.

I can't control the perpetrator. I also won't smear someone without extremely good evidence. Even then, things would be done quietly, simply and personally.

Your suggestion that the young woman is in capable hands makes me roll my eyes more than anything. The capable hands she SHOULD be in is her own.

(in reply to Jacques1000)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: The Predator Dom- arch-villain or over-hyped phantom ? - 11/18/2005 8:27:15 AM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		If you re-educate all the Predator Doms who will be left for all the Knight In Shining Armour Doms to rescue? You'll eradicate an entire niche market.

(in reply to Jacques1000)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: The Predator Dom- arch-villain or over-hyped phantom ? - 11/18/2005 8:33:25 AM   
Jacques1000


Posts: 273
Joined: 10/30/2005
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The capable hands she is in now are HER OWN. Your propensity to jump to conclusions
baffles me.

I am not smearing anyone. I have incontravertible evidence. I am happy to leave it there as I feel I cannot add anything further to this.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: The Predator Dom- arch-villain or over-hyped phantom ? - 11/18/2005 8:34:53 AM   
Jacques1000


Posts: 273
Joined: 10/30/2005
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you are more right then you know, Albert. Human nature being what it is....I think your fear are quite unfounded.


(in reply to MsIncognito)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: The Predator Dom- arch-villain or over-hyped phantom ? - 11/18/2005 8:36:54 AM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		Is there an eyeball rolling smiley on this thing? I could use one right about now.

All I will say is that I saw this quote a couple of weeks ago in another thread but can't remember who posted it: be careful your damsel in distress isn't really a dragon in disguise.

(in reply to Jacques1000)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: The Predator Dom- arch-villain or over-hyped phantom ? - 11/18/2005 8:42:40 AM   
Jacques1000


Posts: 273
Joined: 10/30/2005
Status: offline 		I may look stoopid, butt I ass ure you, most of the time, I aint.

In my line of work, I have heard every excuse and seen most typologies of victimhood imaginable.....she is a sweet, precociously clever young thing who has made the mistakes you expect from a deviant 18 yr old with more savvy and intelligence than most 4 times her age....

< Message edited by Jacques1000 -- 11/18/2005 8:43:22 AM >

(in reply to MsIncognito)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: The Predator Dom- arch-villain or over-hyped phantom ? - 11/18/2005 9:30:57 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross


quote:

ORIGINAL: Jacques1000
Again, you have either misunderstood or subverted the question. The young woman is in capable hands.....and the older woman is moving on. That I am assisting both is not a crime.

I was referring to the perpetrator.

I can't control the perpetrator. I also won't smear someone without extremely good evidence. Even then, things would be done quietly, simply and personally.

Your suggestion that the young woman is in capable hands makes me roll my eyes more than anything. The capable hands she SHOULD be in is her own.



This I would have to completly agree with. To quote "the capable hands she should be in is her own" .

Several safety measures that were taught to me ( and yes, I mean taught to me ) by my first Dom were these:

First meeting ALWAYS IN A PUBLIC PLACE that YOU have chosen, in YOUR own hometown. No exceptions.

Second meeting, if you are still apprehensible, once again, in a public place of your choosing, in your hometown. If the Dom likes you enough, and thinks that you will make a good match, he's going to agree to this.

If you feel comfortable after a first meeting, enough to progress to a more indepth encounter, YOU, once again, pick the place. In addition to the normal precautions that are in place ( safewords, limitations discussed, expectations,etc ), there should ALWAYS be some outside precautions that YOU should take. A phone call to a friend or mentor at a prearranged time, something along these lines works very well.

If things have progressed enough that you are comfortable inviting him/her into your home, the same precautions should be taken. A prearranged phone call, a neighboor who can "watch out" for anything out of the ordinary ( one thing that my Dom suggested I tell my neighboor was that I was having someone over who in the past, I had had bad relations with,and that things could turn ugly, but that it was necessary to see this person. My neighboor knew that I went a certain place EVERY day, and was asked if I did not leave my house at that time, to contact the police).

Simple little safety precautions that can be taken to ensure your own safety. And, any Dom worth his salt, is not only going to agree with these,but will also encourage them. Some will even go as far as to suggest more, or better ones.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 40
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