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RE: How do you get your ex to let go?? - 8/5/2008 2:36:04 PM   
MistressPav


Posts: 350
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sub03
How do you get an ex to let go who refuses too? I don't know what to do anymore.....ignoring him dosent work, talking to him dosen't work....any ideas?? Helpful advice??



When you sever the head from the body, the nervous system ceases to function.




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(in reply to Sub03)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: How do you get your ex to let go?? - 8/5/2008 2:36:42 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		good point ... well made ...

has axe ... will travel

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(in reply to MistressPav)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: How do you get your ex to let go?? - 8/5/2008 2:38:51 PM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		You can't change the ex's behavior of calling, texting, etc. All you can do is make it exceedingly difficult to get ahold of you. I know you don't want to change your phone #, but it's really the easiest way to cut off contact. You can then text all of your other contacts your new phone # in one mass text so they don't lose contact with you.

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(in reply to Sub03)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: How do you get your ex to let go?? - 8/5/2008 2:42:03 PM   
restlessdreamer


Posts: 60
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline 		Mad Master Beyond Thunder Dom!


Two masters enter, one master leaves!


Thrilling drama - but I echo the sentiments of other posters. Take aggressive action to remove this no-last-name-ex immediately! This is the worse time in your life to be nice and docile. Unless... of course, you are seeking the big fight scene at the end of your personal little show where the two might just square off and fight over you.

Be careful. The 'one man' that 'leaves' might be the one you truly care for - we're all just guessing at which one it really is.



< Message edited by restlessdreamer -- 8/5/2008 2:43:31 PM >

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: How do you get your ex to let go?? - 8/5/2008 2:50:58 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		I haven't read all the replies, but I did the following with my ex husband:

* changed my phone number and didn't give him the new one

* stopped answering his emails (unless they were about the divorce settlement), snail mail letters, and phone calls (prior to changing my number)

* didn't answer the door

* prior to the above, told him sternly and without reservation, that I do not love him, I do not like him, and I do not want him in my life. And I showed no emotional reaction to anything he said after that, nor did I respond to his suicide attempts.

You simply cut him off. If there is no reaction from you (good or bad) to fuel his fire, the fire eventually dies. If he threatens you, save the evidence of that and get a restraining order.

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(in reply to Sub03)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: How do you get your ex to let go?? - 8/5/2008 2:56:12 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Call the phone company and have his number blocked. Tell them you are being harassed and they can check and see how often he is calling. They should be able to do it. Blocking his number will probably block his texts, or just remove text messaging from your phone service. And filter the mail from his address into bulk or trash.
My ex was the same way after I moved, and these worked for me.

DV


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VampiresLair

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: How do you get your ex to let go?? - 8/5/2008 3:47:51 PM   
OTKkindaGirl


Posts: 447
Joined: 12/26/2005
From: NW Arkansas
Status: offline 		attention, whether it be positive or negative is still attention.  he wants your attention and you DO have the choice of whether or not to give it to him.  

it IS that simple.  you just need the fortitude and the strength to ignore.  do not give in to your own weakness of submissiveness to this relentless man.  you are the one with the power to decide the true direction you want to go. 

some people are happy with the chaos they create.... is this you? 

actions speak louder than words and if you keep responding to the ex then you are not being very honest with yourself or your current Master.

ignore.  

ignore.

be strong and ignore!

all the suggestions given to you are indeed accurate and it sounds to me like a lot of us are speaking from experience.

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~~ lil darlin' ~~
hope



(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: How do you get your ex to let go?? - 8/5/2008 3:49:09 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OTKkindaGirl

attention, whether it be positive or negative is still attention.  he wants your attention and you DO have the choice of whether or not to give it to him.  



From my own personal experience, this can not be said enough.

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Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to OTKkindaGirl)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: How do you get your ex to let go?? - 8/5/2008 4:51:38 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		How about just keeping your phone shut off so all incoming calls go straight to voice mail.  Then, when you check your messages, as soon as he starts talking and you realize it's him, hit the delete button. Don't even listen to it, don't get all riled up.  As others have said, EVENTUALLY, be it weeks or months, he'll get tired of it, maybe even meet a new girl who floats his boat, and he'll leave you alone. 

Which is the bigger hassle, though?  Putting up with his stalking you or notifying everyone of your new number?  One would take an hour, the other, a year and a half and still going......

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(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: How do you get your ex to let go?? - 8/5/2008 5:25:54 PM   
DarkVictory


Posts: 247
Joined: 8/7/2004
Status: offline 		People, people, people... this person has *no* interest in a solution.  This is an attention suck thread.

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: How do you get your ex to let go?? - 8/5/2008 7:02:22 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

has axe ... will travel


Oh I like this. I might borrow you some day...if DV lets me...heh.

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Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: How do you get your ex to let go?? - 8/5/2008 7:03:25 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

has axe ... will travel


Oh I like this. I might just borrow you...if DV let's me...heh.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: How do you get your ex to let go?? - 8/5/2008 9:15:12 PM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressPav

When you sever the head from the body, the nervous system ceases to function.


Unless its a cockroach. The bodies live for approx a week without its head.

C-D

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(in reply to MistressPav)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: How do you get your ex to let go?? - 8/6/2008 6:54:14 PM   
greenearth21


Posts: 228
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sub03

How do you get an ex to let go who refuses too? I have an ex who knows I am taken and knows that there is no chance of anything happening between us and yet he just wont stop trying. To be completely honest something did happen once after we broke up and I will always regret that bad choice, but I refuse to let something happen again and I know he thinks he can get me to change my mind.  I tried just breaking off contact but he won't stop calling me and texting me, he calls me at least twice a day everyday for the past week and a half. I finally broke down and talked to him today but he just won't accept that it's over, he tries to turn all my arguements around to his way of thinking. The obvious easy answer is to have my Master talk to him but my Master is away right now so he can't take care of it like he would like too. And Him being away is part of the reason my ex won't leave me alone.....he figures with my Master gone now is his chance. I don't know what to do anymore.....ignoring him dosent work, talking to him dosen't work....any ideas?? Helpful advice??


tell him that you are overly satisfied *wink* with your new partner and could never go back to what he offered you (talk about an ego killer)
change your phone number so he can no longer text you or call you
restraining order (which prohibits him -legally- from contacting you in any way)
Dont give him the time of day

I dont know if this is your Masters battle, but rather your baggage that you need to take care of.  Just my opinion

(in reply to Sub03)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: How do you get your ex to let go?? - 8/6/2008 8:23:53 PM   
lostgirl83


Posts: 81
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		My last ex was like this. We had some SEVERE issues, and when i left it was not on a good note. Anyway... he continued to call me/ text me/ email me on an almost daily basis despite the fact that i had made it clear to him that I had no interest. Eventually I even tried yelling at him etc (which is totally not something I ever do... he just got me that angry and frustrated) that didn't work either. What finally did work? Sending him a picture of me giving another guy head. Yeah.. cruel, unusual, but it got the job done... i havent heard from him in months!

(in reply to Sub03)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: How do you get your ex to let go?? - 8/6/2008 8:57:55 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I'm not understanding the problem... he calls, you don't answer.  He texts or emails, you delete unread.  You become a black hole to him.  What is the problem???  Have you really not figured out that you cannot change his behavior, only your reaction to it?

I've read this thread looking for ways to deal with my own ex, but unlike you, we have a child together, so I am forced to communicate with him.  I left him over two years ago, and he has been relentless.  Other than the kidnapping incident he has done nothing to justify a restraining order.  Calling me incessantly is not enough, as he is not threatening me.  Today he called to ask me to bring the kids by on my way home, and just when I thought he was capable of a decent conversation, he started trying to talk me into having sex with him.  So I reaffirmed my resolve to not answer when he calls, and then listen to the voice mail to see if it has something to do with the kids.

Cali




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(in reply to lostgirl83)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: How do you get your ex to let go?? - 8/6/2008 9:03:17 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline 		  You can't control what he does and your Master can't control him either... just go about your life and eventual he will tire and move on.

girly

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(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: How do you get your ex to let go?? - 8/6/2008 11:54:30 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		If it's really bad and you can afford to, get a second phone; give the people you want to have the new number, and leave the old phone just for your ex, who can call and text to his heart's content without realising you're completely ignoring him.
 
candystripper

(in reply to Sub03)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: How do you get your ex to let go?? - 8/6/2008 11:56:37 PM   
MissIsis


Posts: 473
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline 		Fix him up with someone you aren't particuliarly fond of. 

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: How do you get your ex to let go?? - 8/7/2008 10:47:28 AM   
Irishknight


Posts: 2016
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		The best way to get an ex to let go is to smash their fingers with a hammer.  Then they let go and fall a long way ...... I think I may have said too much.

(in reply to MissIsis)
Profile   Post #: 80
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