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RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/9/2006 5:47:58 AM

LotusSong

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy

That got me thinking and I feel there must be an opposite to Feeding. I am not sure what that would be...Slimming? Thinning? Is there a name for this, a fetish to indulge as well?

Yes, there is... Jenny Craig :)

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RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/9/2006 8:10:10 AM

juliaoceania

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quote:

I have always found the fetish of "Feeders" distasteful and one of the worst sides of the BDSM lifestyle. Feeders prey on the some weakest in the flock, zap them of whatever self worth and self esteem they have left and leave the feedee at very high danger levels. It is handle safe, let alone sane and consensual. Still....There seems to be a niche within this world where it flourishes.

You have assumed that the submissive inside this relationship is weak, perhaps she found someone to indulge her own fetish to pig out.

quote:

That got me thinking and I feel there must be an opposite to Feeding. I am not sure what that would be...Slimming? Thinning? Is there a name for this, a fetish to indulge as well?

Many dominants get with a submissive that is overweight and think it is their job to change her after they own her. I see nothing intrinsically wrong with this in my mind as long as it does not hurt the submissive's self esteem, she desires to lose weight too, and it is done under the supervision of a doctor and not foolishly.

quote:

As a Dom who has battled his own weight demons and worked hard to reshape and drop weight, the thought of getting a bottom or sub to do the same, through reward and punishment appeals to me. Build up their self esteem and confidence and then enjoy a submisson that comes from strengh and choice and not weakness and need.

I think that the submissive in question should have self esteem to start with that you do not tear down. You are assuming that fat submissives have no choice but to be submissive because they are needy. If a submissive submits to you under any other circumstance but consensually wanting to be a submissive I would say that this is less than healthy no matter what her weight.

I would say that if a dominant told me he did not accept me the way that I am he would not have me. He can order me to eat better, exercise more for my health, but if I sensed he was trying to change me he would not have me. I would not consent to a relationship in which I was encouraged to base my self esteem based on a set of scales. But then again, I have had strong self esteem that way even when heavy.

I would recommend that you only date subs that want to lose weight and desire help to do that... but even if they lose weight it will be their accomplishment.

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RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/9/2006 8:16:11 AM

Aine

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I just woke up and I'm so not ready to read three pages.

But I've heard of the feeding fetish before. And from what I've read and heard it has nothing to do with forced feeding.

From what I came to understand, it's about someone who just enjoys watching someone else eat to the point of getting very aroused. And generally that eating involved someone who may even have no shame about being a bigger person who eats a lot. It's about enabling it, and even adding that eating into sexual encounters.

Not that I agree with enabling overeating and especially -forced- overeating. On the same token I don't agree with forced dieting or forced starvation. The only thing I personally agree with is helping somone become healthy when that's the place that they want to get to, whether it be losing weight or gaining weight after a sickness of some sort.

I'm not sure I agree with those things as being connected as a fetish. But as they say, to each their own. I guess there are ways around it, because just like anything else, it most likely can't be a constant, but more of a scene type thing, where it's occassional enough to be able to be healthy at all other times to balance it out.

*shrugs* Where'd I put my coffee?

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Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

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RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/9/2006 8:33:17 AM

LaTigresse

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I just found it very interesting that this thread was started Nov 2005 and resurrected almost exactly a year later. Is it something about the upcoming holidays or colder weather or what?

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RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/9/2006 8:34:38 AM

juliaoceania

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I just found it very interesting that this thread was started Nov 2005 and resurrected almost exactly a year later. Is it something about the upcoming holidays or colder weather or what?

I noticed this after I posted.....smiles.

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RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/9/2006 9:12:34 AM

QuietDom

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I can't see much wrong with the Dom who attempts to keep a sub fit and healthy -- although it doesn't sound like a fetish, per se. But I think the most supportive way to go about it would be to leave the scale out of it -- there's already a large group that does public humiliation based on weigh-ins; they're called Weight Watchers. Consider the sub's weight to be a factor not directly under her(his) control. Eating habits and exercise regimes, however, are behaviours, and as such, entirely suitable subjects for regulation and discipline.

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RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/9/2006 4:30:28 PM

Windygal

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Being a BBW myself I find the idea of being a feedee disgusting. It's almost like a slow form of murder. Do you think anyone could go to jail for it? Probably not. From what I glean from BBW websites, the Feeder finds the BBW's eating sensual in some way. Beats me.

I don't see the harm in having a Dom or Domme encouraging weight control, and encouraging exercise. I know a few subs that once their clothes are off, they aren't quite what I expected lol Anyway, encouraging is one thing, demanding might be another, esp if the person has some type of eating disorder.

Windygal

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RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/9/2006 5:24:12 PM

MagiksSlave

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OK I know this thread is Old but im completly lost as to what he is talking about :( my head just isnt working today!!

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RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/9/2006 6:06:49 PM

Aine

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For those of you that have never heard of feeding or think that it's just about being "forced", here's a link to a story on literotica to give you a different view on it.

I don't care whether you agree with the idea of feeding or not, at least skim through it to see where I'm coming from in trying to point out that there are people who do or fantasize of doing it because they want to, not because they are being forced to by a Dominant.

And please, if you want my opinion on the entire subject, go back up the page and read my last post. I don't want to repeat myself in this one lol

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=143012

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Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

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RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/9/2006 6:27:00 PM

WantonThroat

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Although it is not politically correct to say, I find most female subs are on the chubby to extremely fat side.

I too belong in that category, over weight...but certainly active.

Once I met my one true Master my weight has started coming off, not with starvation. With healthy eating and lots of exercise. I believe that HE is the reason for my enthusiasm. Most certainly my support, Via reward and punishment. Punishment is walking to work (5km) carrying a full camping backpack (50lbs, maybe in the snow). Rewards include sucking his cock, feeling his cum fill my ass, a butt bruising (may be offered soon) and I have recently heard that after 21 days I get a trip to vegas which may also include a fat lip and a shiner or two (which I am excited but scared about) Other rewards which he may or may not go for include watching cheezy chick movies with me and letting me watch my own tv shows.

My plan is as follows. I work out with a trainer three days a week, walk every day and eat a south beach type diet. After each 21 day cycle I get to have a binge day. Plus the trip to vegas is NON diet time. but I will work out, if only to be able to eat more at the BUFFETS.

Tom's girl s.

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RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/10/2006 10:54:54 AM

MagiksSlave

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Ok so a feeder is someone that likes Big girls and wants them to get bigger???

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RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/10/2006 7:51:34 PM

Aine

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To some, yes. As I would expect, there's probably different levels of feeders and feedees out there, it's just not one of the more advertized kinks.

I think that part of it might have to be left to the imagination, like a really creative scene.

There could be a plethora of combinations and ways of being a feeder and/or feedee and the reasons as to why and what exactly about it turns said person on.

I just wanted to make it clear that it's not necessary for it to be something that is forced.

My opinion on the forced subject is quite to the point. Forced feeding is extremely unhealthy when you think of it in the context of getting a person fatter, or making them eat well over their capabilities in one sitting which could cause a lot of problems, let alone the problems that would crop up with the weight gain.

And you could even relate feeding to WAM...(wet and messy when it comes to food)...Some people like being fed or feeding another, getting messy while doing so and having wild monkey sex amidst a bunch of food. Sometimes, or most in some cases, the food not only getting in the mouth but all over said people, squirming and smearing and squirting and spilling and all that happy stuff.

Talk about messy. lol

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Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

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RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/11/2006 8:17:32 AM

Betacoywolf

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As I use to be BBW at 300 pounds..... I had gastric by pass to achive my weight goals... I have found that meal sizes at places are so much larger than we need to have.. I have maintained my 135-140 for about three years now.. I do not restrict anything from my diet.. instead I keep top most in my mind is that I have to have 60-80 grams protien every day and if I do that I will not eat as much of the things I should not have...carbs,sugers....and of course my size meals remain small and eat slow.............. BCW

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RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/18/2006 12:36:42 AM

KatieJane

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aine

Some people like being fed or feeding another, getting messy while doing so and having wild monkey sex amidst a bunch of food. Sometimes, or most in some cases, the food not only getting in the mouth but all over said people, squirming and smearing and squirting and spilling and all that happy stuff.

Talk about messy. lol

I adore being fed and getting all messy!

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RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/18/2006 12:42:59 AM

FelinePersuasion

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Shareing quizno's and feeding daddy my sandwhich was what made me decide to play with him. hehe

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RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/18/2006 12:50:20 AM

MagiksSlave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

Shareing quizno's and feeding daddy my sandwhich was what made me decide to play with him. hehe

LOL the way i hear it is it wasnt YOUR sandwitch

Magik's slave

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If you’re going through hell keep on moving
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RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/18/2006 1:34:30 AM

jblack

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Let me start of by saying that I have some strong opinions on this topic; please forgive me if I get on a soapbox. But if I'm on a soapbox, that doesn't mean that I'm being unreasonable.

I think the idea that a Dom could use "forced exercise" or "dietary control" to "help" a sub lose weight is oversimplifying a very complex psychological dynamic. As a fat girl, I know perfectly well that a reduced calorie diet and exercise are "good" for me; given that we live in a weight-obsessed culture, one would have to be rather ignornant NOT to know that. And I also have lots of willpower. One doesn't get a PhD before turning 30 without willpower. If "control" or "guidance" or "education" could solve a problem as complex as compulsive overeating, I'd be a six 6.

I would argue that fat people put on weight not because they don't know about dieting or because they lack control but because they are driven by a particular psychological need. When I eat too much, it's not because I'm hungry; it is for other reasons, many of which include relentless campaigns to make me lose weight. The constant attention to weight, size, and feeding only furthers the compulsion to eat. Until the psychological compulsion is addressed, the dynamic of forced exercise or feederism--while seemingly at opposite ends of the spectrum--will probably result in increased weight for the sub in the long run.

As Kitten With a Twist pointed out, I'd feel terrible if a Dom wanted me to lose weight. In fact, I'd feel so terrible that I'd have to end that relationship. Essentially, he'd be saying that he wanted a "skinny version" of me. But I have no desire to spend time with someone who wants only a specific "version" of me. I'm not a software package; one can't "upgrade" me to the 2.0 version. If I felt otherwise, I'd have a pretty bad self-esteem problem. I would argue that this fetish is unhealthy not because of the effects it might have on a sub's body but the effects it will have on a sub's mind.

While I recognize that many Doms and subs enjoy body modification, I would suggest that this type of control over a person's body is far more complex and dangerous than piercing, tattooes, or branding because of the psychology involved in compulsive overeating. Many people who are overweight suffer from a compulsion. Unless one has psychological training and informed consent from a partner, it would be seriously irresponsible to try to "treat" a compulsive behavior by eroticizing it.

I am disturbed by the idea that overweight women--who are already being criticized and mistreated by our culture every single day--will then find themselves attacked when with the person they have decided to trust on the deepest level: their Doms. In my mind, this is an abuse of trust that is cloaked as "looking out for her best interests." If a sub like the idea, then, well, I'm not into anything that discourages someone from finding her bliss, but don't try to convince me that it's "healthy."

I apologize if I put anything too baldly, but I won't apologize for feeling strongly.

</soapbox rant>

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RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/18/2006 1:53:01 AM

koimizu

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Alright, i simply had to 'weigh' in as it were on this one. Recently, a very delightful Dom contacted me and declared that my weight was at the low end of His usual preference for a girl and asked if He could feed me up. i politely and respectfully declined with a soft laugh and we moved on to another subject of conversation.

However, the fact that He enjoys girls up to 350lbs was not that astonishing to me as i know another Dominant who prefers His girls to be 'fat, happy little sluts' and to a one, they all are. That kind of honesty for BBW subs is refreshing on many levels especially in a world obsessed with 'size 8 need not apply'. However the reason that i declined the previously mentioned dominant's suggestion even though it was made playfully is not because i was disgusted at the thought of being larger, but because He would not succeed.

At my current weight, i am scolded often by friends, family and even doctors to...well, to quote them "dammit girl, EAT something!" This is not coming from a group that wishes me to gain more weight but to lose it. i have been large all of my life and was comfortable enough with it to be accepting. Diet progress in the latter half has been hard not because i eat a lot of things but the very opposite. It astounds me how people assume that weight gain is because someone eats a lot. When asked to keep a food diary, my previous doctor looked at my month's entries and asked me how that was possible since she'd treated aneorexics with a larger day to day staple. i just told her the truth.

i don't really eat. i may do breakfast and nothing else but liquids for the day. i may do lunch and forget to eat anything past that. Unless my stomach protests, i don't think about food and rarely like much beyond personal faves which again, even the doctor was hard pressed to consider unhealthy. (Seriously, who is going to say 'stop eating oatmeal and yogurt this instant!'?) My own mother hunts me down with a dinner plate and watches me eat because otherwise i would start on the food and set it down because i just didn't want the rest. My current companion repeatedly asks if i have eaten and will buy something if i have not or send me to fix something for the both of us. Otherwise, i will drink milk or juice and just ignore everything else. It is how i have been all of my life.

So...sorry Feeders. Here's one that will ultimately disappoint in strange, strange ways. Though on a side note...my body absorbs soy related products at 3x the rate of other foods and i was doing really well for years managing my weight before soy was thrown into everything but drinking water as a healthy substitute. Now i have to read labels to keep my soy intake down lest i blow up like a frigging derigible. UGH!

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RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/18/2006 11:01:51 AM

Aine

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Damnit..

How did this one turn into yet another thread where people think we're bashing fat people?!

Feeding Fetish.

As far as I understand and know it -embraces- those of a larger nature.

As for something that is the opposite of it, while both feeding and the natural opposite, are both potentially harmful, if people would take a closer, and more sane look at it would hopefully see what I see.

Feeding. NOT about -forced- feeding. It's actually a relatively positive look at those of a larger nature! Throw in a fetish about food and fantasizing about said person getting bigger, as that is the basis of what that person has a fetish about. They love the size, the softness, etc etc.

And for me, the logical and also NOT NEGATIVE opposite of said fetish would be a kind of micro managing the food intake of said sub. For the sake of micro-management of their lives, which many enjoy and/or need, as well as maintaining a healthy life.

This is what I see.

And don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to leave out that which is negative or potentially negative affects of both of these activities if not carried out in a very specific and careful way. I'm well aware of those things. And honestly, I think that both things could be very dangerous to a person's health. Let's face it, unless we're dating a nutritionist....there are things that could go wrong for any of us if we were to try such things without consulting someone first.

And this is what I get for leaving the tv on....thanks Ben Stiller for making me lose my train of thought.

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Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

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RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish - 11/18/2006 1:50:01 PM

MisticalMisty

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A feeder is a person..male or female who is sexually aroused by the act of "feeding" their partner. A feedee is a person that enjoys the feeling of being full. For the most part, it can be a very sexually arousing experience. I'm not a feeder or feedee but I'm very active in the BBW community and if you google Feeders the community I frequent as a whole board dedicated to weight gain.

Yes, as hard as it may be to believe..there are men and women who wish to gain weight and get fatter. I find it amusing that so many people pass judgement on this kink, but yet get up in arms when judgement is passed on them for one of their own kinks.

Very interesting

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