RE: So, I found this receipt

RE: So, I found this receipt (Full Version)

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Sunnyfey -> RE: So, I found this receipt (8/8/2008 12:34:16 AM)
Ok not a funny story of my parents finding anything...but i found something of my friends..... Ok so im stiing on my friends bed just kind of talking and what not...and she was getting ready to move in a few weeks so were going through her stuff, and shes handing me things she dosent want that i might like.....and randomly something falls out of a boot, I pick it up and not really looking at it im like "o0o0o0o0 a lazer pen!!!!" I had picked up her vibe and was STILL not really looking at it and makeing all kinds of "peeew!! pew pew!!!" noises pretending it was a lazer gun....till i hit the on button. I was mortified....

pixidustpet -> RE: So, I found this receipt (8/8/2008 2:43:54 AM)
best shopping trip ever... my grown daughter and i in jcpenny trying on bras and talking non-stop... i still dont know how it came up but we got to talking about the ky warming lube and she told me it was NOT a good idea for anal sex. loudly. to the accompanyment of a gasp from the next fitting room...and a LOUDER gasp when miss satan called me "mama". giggling oh that and when she spent a week at her grandparent's house...she was staying in the guesthouse and there hanging on the coatrack was a thong. her gramma's. she called me up to tell me to "tell your mother to put her underwear away!!!!" (it was STILL hanging there when i went to visit 4 months later heeheehee) kitten

canupleaseme -> RE: So, I found this receipt (8/8/2008 3:09:59 AM)
My um must of spotted my handcuffs at some point because my grandad (who is 80) took me aside and said your daughter thinks your a secret police woman!! She found some handcuffs and asked me if you were. lol And my friends son was poking around her room and found a big pink dildo and went home to his dads saying my mums got big weird pink sword in her bedroom.

BKSir -> RE: So, I found this receipt (8/8/2008 3:23:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop I was staying at my mom's one time, and as I was taking a shower I reached for the shampoo, with my eyes closed... only to grab her dildo (it was white, so I hadnt noticed it when I got in the shower...) ACK! Holy christ Greedy! I think that may be the 'DO NOT WANT!' moment of all history! LOL!!!

BKSir -> RE: So, I found this receipt (8/8/2008 3:56:02 AM)
Well, mine was a BIT embarrassing, but not near as fun as some of these. I suppose a couple, really. The first one was a few years ago, when my mom came over to visit partner 1 "M" and myself. She's sitting in the living room, and suddenly I hear "What does your cat have?" Me: "Hm?" (from out of the bedroom) Mom: "He just ran through here, with a black strap in his mouth. Looked like a leather watch band or something." Me: "Hm? Watch band?" (at this point I start thinking, I don't have a black leather watch band. The only black leather straps I have around here are cockri.... SHIT!) Me: "GET BACK HERE WITH THAT!!!!!" Mom: "What did he have?" (after I caught him and got it back) Me: "WATCHBAND!" (rather sharply and definitively) Recently my landlord came by to take a look around the house, make sure everything was alright, and, I don't bother putting our toys anywhere hidden. They're in one of those hanging compartment things for clothes/shoes/etc. Well, as he's glancing around the room, his eyes stop there for a moment, and then move on to my wall of, somewhat less than G-rated art. The disturbing part is that he lingered there for a bit longer than I was comfortable with, before asking "Who is the artist? You?" Alas, I did have to technically respond "Yes, on some of them." Thankfully he moved on rather quickly at that point.

GreedyTop -> RE: So, I found this receipt (8/8/2008 5:04:44 AM)
LMAO BK!! (I'd love to see your artwork!) The dildo thing..at first I was like "EEEP!!" second thought was "YEAH Mom!!!" (hey, she's over 70.. good for her!)

MasterAramis -> RE: So, I found this receipt (8/8/2008 8:03:55 AM)
Wow, that was too funny. I think we all have that happen to us from time to time. Sometimes we are witnesses to others and we are just as embarrassed. I will never forget when I was a kid, I had a summer job with a local moving company. So here I am 18 years old on a moving crew and we drive up to this nice little two story bungalow. Well this house had a winding staircase that was hard to maneuver larger pieces of furniture around. Wouldn't you know it they had a huge desk up there. So here I am with another guy moving this desk down the stairs and as we get around to the curve of the stairwell we had to twist the desk a bit. As we did that one of the drawers opened slightly and the contents of fell to the floor below right at the owners feet who had been watching us mover her precious desk. When I looked down, low and behold, a huge and I mean HUGE dildo stood right there staring her straight in the face. This thing would have satisified a horse or small elephant. She froze momentarily before bending down and scooped it up. Let me tell you, we did not see much of her for the rest of the day! Moral of the story - when movers come, pack up your sex toys before they arrive! Aramis Duval

lauren0221 -> RE: So, I found this receipt (8/8/2008 8:22:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop tacklesmoooches the gorgeous Lauren hi, sexy! how ya doin? can you look each other in the eye? LOL tacklesmooches GT back I just tried to forget that it happened - until katie started this thread and reminded me, that is:)

GreedyTop -> RE: So, I found this receipt (8/8/2008 8:32:26 AM)
snort

abcbsex -> RE: So, I found this receipt (8/8/2008 8:57:46 AM)
I think I've told this story before but it applies and I still laugh about it. The night of our wedding, Alpha and I got super drunk and frisky. We had out of town guests partying it up with us so we left them in the living room to have our newly-married fun. A couple hours later he bundled me into the bathroom, sheets and all, and turned on the shower. I woke up a little while later in the bathtub and realized that I still had the butt plug in. After that I remember stumbling back into the bedroom (don't even know if I was clothed or not, but I assumed everyone was passed out). The next morning I heard stirrings from the living room and sat up in bed, completely stunned. I hadn't taken care of the buttplug! I dressed as fast as I could and ran into the bathroom, saying hello to our friends quickly and trying to hide embarrassment. There was my blue jelly butt plug, just laying on the floor... looking dusty but clean. I sighed out of relief and went back to the bedroom with it, and decided that no one had seen it. At a waffle house next to the airport, one of our guests, who I call my pseudo-brother, said in quite a loud voice, "I saw your dildo!" and later in the conversation he said, "that wasn't a dildo, was it?" I think he just wanted to get his jabs in before he had to leave.

BKSir -> RE: So, I found this receipt (8/8/2008 12:23:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop LMAO BK!! (I'd love to see your artwork!) The dildo thing..at first I was like "EEEP!!" second thought was "YEAH Mom!!!" (hey, she's over 70.. good for her!) Don't get me wrong, I mean, good on her. And after working in an adult novelty store, I really don't have a lot of room to be against anyone owning such things. Even before I worked there I didn't. But still, just the thought of grabbing onto one of my moms sex toys, and, I know she had them... That's just something that no amount of scrubbing and soap in the world would be able to get off of my hand. LOL (OUT DAMNED SPOT!) ;) Welllll... as far as my art, it's kind of 'specialized', to be honest. Not something most people are even remotely interested in. But, remind me later, pop me a bit of a note here or something and I'll send you a link if you like. :)

jesiul -> RE: So, I found this receipt (8/8/2008 1:57:02 PM)
About ten years ago I was visiting my parents, at the time my father had a very large video movie library which he had cataloged by number, each tape had 3 movies on it. There were over 300 tapes. Both parents where gone and I was there alone on warm afternoon, I decided to watch a movie. I find one that is one of my favorites and it is on a tape that is numbered 23, so I have to move a few of the other tapes out of the way. Well guess what I find, yep the parents stash of porn. Being the curious person, I looked to see what they had, some classics (Green Door, Debbie does Dallas) and one that didn’t have a label. Thinking that had to be something more interesting I put it in the VCR. GOOD GREIF was that a mistake, as soon as I hit the play button I was regretting it, there in all their glory was my parents doing the dirty. I am franticly trying to turn the VCR off, I hit Fast forward (the horror) I am screaming and jumping up and down trying to make it stop. As soon as I get it stopped, I grab the phone and call my brother and scream into the phone, “You have to come over her right now!” then slam the phone down. A few minutes later my brother comes driving up the road like a crazed maniac, bolts into the house and yells, “What’s wrong!” Without missing a beat I turn the VCR on and turn away saying, “I know that’s mom, is that dad?” I figured I shouldn’t be the only child they have that was scarred forever.

CityGirl55 -> RE: So, I found this receipt (8/8/2008 2:39:44 PM)
This has been totally hilarilous to read. All of you, bless you! You have all made me re-think where I keep my toys, what few I have. Locks. Good idea!

impishlilhellcat -> RE: So, I found this receipt (8/8/2008 2:43:07 PM)
Quite a few years ago I was watching my friends kids while they had a night out. She called me from where ever they were and I was talking to her on the phone when I see her son walk out of the bedroom swinging something and the cat is chasing it. I asked him what he had he goes ooooh I just have mom's massager and I get to looking at it and it was a vibrator and I'm laughing hysterically and so I tell her your son just found your toy and is swinging it all over the living room and the cat is playing with it. Her response... good thing we wash them before we use them.

GreedyTop -> RE: So, I found this receipt (8/8/2008 4:38:38 PM)
Bk..mail, darlin'....

ResidentSadist -> RE: So, I found this receipt (8/8/2008 4:59:38 PM)
the OP is along the lines of when the family dog walks into the living room full of company and he is chewing on a 32 inch long BIG FLOPPY BLACK DILDO! (not mine but a friend's story)

BeIgnited -> RE: So, I found this receipt (8/10/2008 10:01:41 PM)
Hah. My brother and I are very similar. We make a habit of finding the weirdest porn possible (or just passing along the ones we get sent) and trying to one-up one another.

sunshinemiss -> RE: So, I found this receipt (8/10/2008 11:25:47 PM)
My first boyfriend ever. swoons. He was 29, I was 19. Oh lord that man taught me a thing or 10. WEll one night, he was ummm... well.. he was.. whispers, going down on me.... and he forgot to breathe. I mean he FORGOT to breathe. He passed out! oh lord. i called his best friend. Iw as frantic. We may have had a drink or two - that was back when the drinking age was 18. So his friend calls 911 and my boyfriend's sister. The sister calls 911 not knowing that theyd already been called. So about 15 minutes later, I'm dressed... sort of, my boyfriends best friend, sister and 2 sets of paramedics are in the room. Sunshine, meet my sister. sigh. I miss that guy.

cravesdom -> RE: So, I found this receipt (8/11/2008 1:10:43 AM)
I have a couple unfortunately. I need a better place to hide my toys! Or a box I can lock! My son took my handcuffs to school one day. I got called by the principal to come pick them up. I'm sure I was beet red the whole time I was there. I came home one day to find my munchkins using the wire on my bullet as a tightrope for little plastic animals to walk across. Having read some of these stories though, I think I have been lucky so far!

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