porcelain26
Posts: 181
Joined: 11/16/2007 Status: offline
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The problem with your friends' particular mind fuck is (using your own metaphors here), he's taking a fish and tossing it into the shark tank in order to discover if it's a shark or not. Problem is, sharks will eat their young. I love a good mind fuck; no doubt about it. But to have someone I've only just started playing with pull a stunt like this on me is out of the question. Part of the delicious agony of a mind fuck is the trust involved in pulling one off. Granted, someone I've just begun playing with can mind fuck me to a certain extent, but the degree to which you've indicated is something generally reserved for people who've been playing together for a while and have a trust based relationship. To pull that stunt (and in the scenario you've described, it's exactly that) on someone new to you and possibly to BDSM isn't a mind fuck at all; it's simply a cruel joke, regardless of what excuse you attach to it. Can you test the mettle of a submissive by using a mind fuck? Sure you can. But it's also an outstanding way to test a dominant. Is the man capable, empathetic, experienced, intelligent, and respectful? Or does he take advantage of innocence (and ignorance) and twist it in an effort to make himself 'look cool'? This trick you speak of doesn't make your friend a shark, and it doesn't make you a shark either just because you've enjoyed witnessing or hearing about the event. It more closely resembles the behavior of a parana: move in large schools and devour your prey in seconds. Just because I wouldn't submit to something this extreme in the beginning of a relationship doesn't make me any less of a submissive. Nor does it determine whether or not I'm ready to 'run with the big boys'. I don't know which is more disturbing: The idea that someone would submit to this sort of thing in a desperate attempt to please a dominant they've only just met. Or the idea that a supposidly experienced and skilled dominant would 'test' a new submissive in such an inconsiderate, thoughtless manner.
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