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Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 7:21:13 AM   
swooshieone


Posts: 14
Joined: 2/4/2008
Status: offline 		Is it possible for a submissive to educate a Dominant? Are there things a Dom can learn through a submissive? (Learning and educating as in lifestyle skills) What have you as a Dominant learned from your partner? On the flip side, what do you as a submissive believe you may have taught your partner?
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RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 7:24:08 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Why would I want to be with someone who couldn't enrich my life, who didn't know things I didn't, who had nothing to bring to enhance my life?  I have learned a great deal from every partner I have ever had and BSB has probably changed and enhanced my life in the most profound way of all.

(in reply to swooshieone)
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RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 7:47:02 AM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline 		I learn all the time. From a submissive. From a Dominant. From Collarme. From everywhere.

One sub, for example, taught me that the best nipple clamps (for her) were those that were adjustable. Another taught me that (for her) staying in one place while dining at the Y was a good thing. Another taught me, accidentally, not to place her on her back while bound with a dildo shoved up her ass.



(in reply to SimplyMichael)
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RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 7:59:01 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I sure hope that I can learn from my submissives! 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to pompeii)
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RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 8:04:25 AM   
porcelain26


Posts: 181
Joined: 11/16/2007
Status: offline 		It seems to me like what you're really asking is can a submissive teach a dominant in the way we 'expect' a dominant to teach a submissive. I think this is absolutely possible. Look at all the instances where an incredibly experienced submissive develops a 'scene' relationship with a very inexperienced dominant in order to help him or her perfect their craft. I also know of many situations in which dominants are more than willing to turn over certain aspects of their lives to their submissive who is more skilled in that area (such as allowing the CPA submissive to handle the finances). D/s is like any other relationship in terms of needing to give and take, it's just that we spin it all with a different dynamic.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
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RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 8:06:19 AM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline 		When you stop learning, you stop growing.  When you stop growing, you start dying.

I learn all the time from my slaves.  I learn mostly by watching how they react to things I am doing, but I also learn directly from them when they have something to teach me.  In my relationship, I am just a bit younger than their combined ages, so I feel I still have the upper hand when it comes to teaching and guiding them, but this old dog is always open to learning new tricks.

Taggard


_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.


My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
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RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 8:10:38 AM   
GoddessRegina


Posts: 7
Joined: 11/10/2007
From: Las Vegas (originally Germany)
Status: offline 		I would surely hope that anyone can see the answer as a Yes. Everyone starts somewhere and at that point they need a "mentor". Who better to guide you then the once you will be eventually work with. I have seen in my lifetime some supreme submissives and some really mediocre dominate partners, then 1 Year later the dominate was truly what they were in the path to become. The submissive taught his/her dominate and that dominate was self assured enough to be wise and listen to the guidance.

We all can learn from each other at one point or the other in life. Don't ever be stupid enough to think that submissives are 2nd class people. They are some of the strongest willed individuals out there. It is a lot harder to garner respect saying "Yes, I am a slave / sub to so and so and I am proud of it (especially for males these days)" then " I am a Domme / Dom, they do what I say."

Thanks for reading.

_____________________________

Never assume you know how to please me. I will let you know when you do something right or wrong.

(in reply to porcelain26)
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RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 8:34:33 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: swooshieone

Is it possible for a submissive to educate a Dominant? Are there things a Dom can learn through a submissive? (Learning and educating as in lifestyle skills) What have you as a Dominant learned from your partner? On the flip side, what do you as a submissive believe you may have taught your partner?


It's very possible. You may want to do a search on old threads regarding this topic. I helped introduced my owner to this world in various ways, from teaching him toy use to showing him books and these forums.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to swooshieone)
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RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 8:36:24 AM   
MasterHermes


Posts: 136
Joined: 5/23/2008
Status: offline 		He can learn from you as long as he is open to it. Otherwise you can not educate him. That being said, the word "educating" implies a sense of authority , a certain power on him. Its always there in a teacher-student, guru-follower relationship. So intead of saying "I want to educate you", perhaps telling him (or somebody) that you want to share something with him is better. If you know something I dont, share it with me..

Good Luck
Hermes

< Message edited by MasterHermes -- 8/11/2008 8:37:22 AM >

(in reply to GoddessRegina)
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RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 8:39:08 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Hermes .. thats assuming that the dominant is so egotistical that he'd get offended by the words education/learning/etc *grin*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to MasterHermes)
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RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 8:42:09 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I've learned far far more from the slaves and submissives in my life, than I ever could have imagined.

I can honestly say I wouldn't be able to have a positive M/s relationship without their knowledge and generous sharing.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to swooshieone)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 9:24:10 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: swooshieone

Is it possible for a submissive to educate a Dominant? Are there things a Dom can learn through a submissive? (Learning and educating as in lifestyle skills) What have you as a Dominant learned from your partner? On the flip side, what do you as a submissive believe you may have taught your partner?

Absolutely. But it also helps if they are secure enough to give one feedback. Instead of veiled attempts at self defence.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to swooshieone)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 9:27:36 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Why would I want to be with someone who couldn't enrich my life, who didn't know things I didn't, who had nothing to bring to enhance my life?  I have learned a great deal from every partner I have ever had and BSB has probably changed and enhanced my life in the most profound way of all.


You said it best. Yes, not only do I believe I can be educated by my partners, but I absolutely require it. I will never be so bold and arrogant as to believe that I know all I need to know and can learn nothing more from the people around me.
 
Like Taggard said...

quote:

When you stop learning, you stop growing.  When you stop growing, you start dying. 


Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 9:31:31 AM   
MasterHermes


Posts: 136
Joined: 5/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Hermes .. thats assuming that the dominant is so egotistical that he'd get offended by the words education/learning/etc *grin*


I do not know him. But teaching something to another person is a difficult thing to begin with, aspecially if this other person is not the one whom  initially seeking it. Thats why aproaching as nice as possible can be helpful to overcome possible difficulties.

Her original question makes me think that she is not sure about his reaction.  If he is very willing and open to learn from her, its great.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 9:39:26 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
Why would I want to be with someone who couldn't enrich my life, who didn't know things I didn't, who had nothing to bring to enhance my life?  I have learned a great deal from every partner I have ever had and BSB has probably changed and enhanced my life in the most profound way of all.

Yeah, what he said.  Independent of how we make decisions in our relationship, my wife was chosen to be my life partner, not my sex toy and cook.  If she couldn't educate me, then she would've been unable to fill that role.  The fact that our vanilla marriage has morphed into a M/s relationship is due to her educating me.  IMO swoosh, what you're really asking is somethign like, "So are there any doms out there who are secure enough in themselves to get input from other people no matter the person or role in the doms life?"  My answer to that is, "There damned well better be for the sake of all the subs out there looking for partners.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 9:43:02 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Whether or not we choose to acknowledge or admit it, we all learn something from every person that we interact with.  We can use what we learned or we can throw it away. 
 
The most important lessons I have learned from previous submissives is what I want and what I don't want in a partner (play partner or life partner).

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to MasterHermes)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 9:43:24 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I just gotta say, from the sounds of it..  I envy you, leadership :)

I wish you always the best, which is kinda pointless since it sounds like you have it already :)


_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 10:45:02 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: swooshieone

Is it possible for a submissive to educate a Dominant? Are there things a Dom can learn through a submissive? (Learning and educating as in lifestyle skills) What have you as a Dominant learned from your partner? On the flip side, what do you as a submissive believe you may have taught your partner?


No matter which side of the collar, there is -always- something you can learn from the other perspective. It can go from simple things that come from open communication during the process of learning one another and how to interact to practical skills to the extreme -- in a peculiar and fascinating fetish not commonly exhibited these days... One of the 'fetishes' that I hope to have fulfilled among our servants is this peculiar fetish to have a servant whose main purpose is my intellectual stimulation -- a servant who will sit down, at any point that I am desiring to do so, and converse with me -- ride the train to Happy Tangent Land -- while discoursing with me on philosophical, esoteric, metaphysical, social, political, fantastical subjects of all sorts (yes, and even -arguing-!). Yes... it -is- a fetish.. and someday, I'll find someone who is as fixated as I am on it.. and I -know- I will learn a lot!

Firestorm


_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to swooshieone)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 10:50:46 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I think people gain a lot of learning from one another and anyone who feels they are above learning from someone, has a big problem and I would be exiting.  No one knows it all and no one should be of a lower standing to be considered unworthy of learning from. 

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 11:04:25 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		So when it is from the D to the s, it is "training"... when it's from the s to the D, it's "educating"?  Hmmmmm.


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 20
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