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RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 11:10:16 AM

leadership527

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Joined: 6/2/2008
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*laughs* Exactly cali... I pointed this out in a different post about "training". We all like to use edgy words so we can be the cool kids on the block. teaching is just so.... well... vanilla *laughs*. There are tons of ways that the wording used in BDSM could carry both more accurate meanings AND be less inflammatory were that the desire of BDSM practitioners.

(in reply to CalifChick)

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Post #: 21

RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 6:16:32 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
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I had to guide Ms. Mlicious a LOT when we first got together. And when she first wanted to do the cuckold deal, I actually had to decode for her the clues that the guy she now calls her "cabana boy" was laying down. She was just awful at picking up on subtleties. Many times a new dominant woman needs experience and confidence. Sometimes it is the slave's job to show her the way.

(in reply to swooshieone)

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Post #: 22

RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 6:40:48 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
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I've learned a lot of wonderful things from each of my subs: not just how physically beautiful they are, but how responsive, how responsible, what great dads they can be, how caring, how pleasing, how intoxicating, how funny, how smart, how endearing . . . as well as the sound they make if you touch them THERE!!!!
I've even learned from the dumbest, which is: don't settle for cute-but-stoopid.

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Post #: 23

RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 6:41:37 PM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
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In my opinion ... yes, a Dominant can learn plenty from a submissive.
I don't think a submissive can make them Dominant, but they can support them in focussing the dominance that is already there. For example and experiences submissive showing a newbie Dom who to create a structure of protocol, and discipline within a relationship.
I think only a fool would say that an experienced and aware *bottom* couldn't teach a *Top* how to play in certain ways. I could teach a Top to use a flogger safely, interestingly and excitingly, even edgily if they wished. Play skills are play skills. Once you ahve the skill you can teach it, if you are inclined to teaching. Sure some bottoms do not take an interest in the logistics of what happens to them during play, but many do and I know a lot of very skilled Tops who worked with both Tops and bottoms to learn the skills they need. There are some things I wouldn't teach because I dont have the skills down myself enough yet (i couldn't even tell you where to start with a single tail for instance).
In a more general sense, I think I would quickly become bored of a Dominant who felt they had nothing to learn from me, learning from and being dominanted by are different things, someone too insecure to see that - would be hitting the road before I could say Jack.

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Post #: 24

RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 6:49:24 PM

IvyMorgan

Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW
One of the 'fetishes' that I hope to have fulfilled among our servants is this peculiar fetish to have a servant whose main purpose is my intellectual stimulation -- a servant who will sit down, at any point that I am desiring to do so, and converse with me -- ride the train to Happy Tangent Land -- while discoursing with me on philosophical, esoteric, metaphysical, social, political, fantastical subjects of all sorts (yes, and even -arguing-!). Yes... it -is- a fetish.. and someday, I'll find someone who is as fixated as I am on it.. and I -know- I will learn a lot!

Firestorm

*waves*

I call this "dinner at college". And, yeah, I loves it too, the random conversation about ancient mesopotamia, string theory, and British Airways... combined with the favourite game, "who can identify the vegetarian option!"

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

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Post #: 25

RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/11/2008 11:38:35 PM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
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Yes, it's totally possible and it actually happens. There's a lot of things I've learned from my previous partners, and even from submissives in the lifestyle. Along with others.

(in reply to swooshieone)

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Post #: 26

RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/12/2008 12:20:45 AM

steviemichael

Posts: 177
Joined: 1/6/2007
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i think the question is like asking a man to teachi a woman to be a woman.
or a woman teaching a man to be a man

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Post #: 27

RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/14/2008 5:49:29 AM

graceadieu

Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
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Of course! You can't expect a Dom/me to start out fully knowledgable and experienced on every (or any) subject. They've got to learn from someone, and a more knowledgable sub is as good a person as any.

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Post #: 28

RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/14/2008 8:28:42 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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I am the world's greatest expert on me. I've been me for 53 years now. I know more about how I am likely to react than anyone else. No matter how knowledgable he was about his ex, he was a newbie when it came to me.

Technically, he knows more about bondage. But I'm the one who brought up the idea of breath play, who researched it, and sent him the information. At that point, being more educated on the subject he then decided if he felt comfortable trying it or not.

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RE: Educating the Dominant - 8/14/2008 10:38:45 AM

justNCmale

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Joined: 7/28/2008
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This has been answered to death, so I'm going to beat a dead-horse and say we all learn from others; we cannot stop our brain from taking info in and sifting thru it and making a decison based on it in the future, either conscious or not!
That may have been more than 2 cents worth, maybe a dime?

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Life is a choice and you need to respect both Dom and sub for their choosing a path, for without one we cannot have the other ....... SirJust

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Post #: 30