RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (Full Version)

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UR2Badored -> RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (8/12/2008 11:23:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: masterforRT
The POSITION of President has to be respected.



I'll tell that to the rest of the world to begin the process of world peace.



LaTigresse -> RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (8/12/2008 11:27:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

I treat everyone with respect until they prove they deserve otherwise.  The best way to earn my respect is to treat me with respect.


I really don't want to get into a description of how each of us define respect BUT, what you describe is courtesy to me.

That being said..........I respect very few people.

Now, as for saying a dominant deserves respect for their position.......hogwash. A personality trait is not necessarily worthy of courtesy, let alone my respect.



Missokyst -> RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (8/12/2008 11:27:16 AM)

When someone can log on, create an identity, and become an istaDOM, practioner for years, with multitudes of slaves.. I just cant see respecting the position.
If I choose them and they are in my life then yes, I know and accept their place over me.  But no one online has been made valid in my eyes based on a title they give themselves.  The foundation is made of sand. 
Respect online shouldnt have to be any different for doms subs slaves male or female, or years of experience.  Courtesy is all that is necessary, no respect required.  At least until they start accrediting roles in bdsm. 
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: masterforRT
Though I don't like or respect the MAN, I DO respect his POSITION.

You might not know or like a person, but if they ARE a Dom, then they deserve a certain respect for their POSITION!

Sometimes you just have to give people the benefit of the doubt.

If you can't do that, how can D/s work?




LaTigresse -> RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (8/12/2008 11:35:37 AM)

KoM, I suck at the selective quote thingy so I'm not even going to try.

I just wanted to thank you for giving me some other facets to consider. I agree with most of your thoughts regarding self respect and the, sometimes, emptiness of trying to define our own worth in other's eyes. In retrospect on the topic, I think that's alot of how it's always been for me. Regardless of what others may think of me I would feel like a fraud if I didn't feel strongly about my own value and worth.

My point was such that IF a person feels they are entitled to being treated a certain way, if their egos are structured in such a way that they need that external validation, moreso if they demand it.....then they should consider walking the walk rather than just talking the talk.




masterforRT -> RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (8/12/2008 11:37:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

When someone can log on, create an identity, and become an istaDOM, practioner for years, with multitudes of slaves.. I just cant see respecting the position.
If I choose them and they are in my life then yes, I know and accept their place over me.  But no one online has been made valid in my eyes based on a title they give themselves.  The foundation is made of sand. 
Respect online shouldnt have to be any different for doms subs slaves male or female, or years of experience.  Courtesy is all that is necessary, no respect required.  At least until they start accrediting roles in bdsm. 
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: masterforRT
Though I don't like or respect the MAN, I DO respect his POSITION.

You might not know or like a person, but if they ARE a Dom, then they deserve a certain respect for their POSITION!

Sometimes you just have to give people the benefit of the doubt.

If you can't do that, how can D/s work?




But again, those instaDOMS are EXCEPTIONS to the rule!  Just because there are a few exeptions doesn't make the rule wrong.
I believe that  most out here are what they claim to be.

Like I said earlier, if I had to prove myself to everyone, then I'd have little time for anything else!

If I had to 'walk the walk' for everyone I met, I'd be walking 100 miles a day!

I'm sorry that you believe that the majority of those out here have foundations made of sand. It must be very lonely for you.

I prefer to make the assumption that most people's foundations are stronger then that. I guess that makes me an optimist and you a pessimist.



Missokyst -> RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (8/12/2008 11:44:26 AM)

You are making an assumption based on what?  That I don't believe people are necessarily what their title suggests?  Sorry, but you are personalizing this as an insult.  I am being realistic.  Because someone says they are dom, sub, or what ever, why should that matter to me, UNTIL they mean something to me? 
I don't really care what people do until they are in my life.  Are you so wrapped up in protocal that you need to see the title and not see the person?
I like my reality real.  It is not a lonely online existance. I perfer to be beat in person, to fuck a cock, and to engage in ds relationships with men I can feel, and who have inspired me to submit.  Some online guy is never going to get that.  And if that is lonely, I will choose it willingly.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: masterforRT

Like I said, if I had to prove myself to everyone, then I'd have little time for anythng else!

I'm sorry that you believe that the majority of those out here have foundations made of sand. It must be very lonely for you.

I prefer to make the assumption that most people's foundations are stronger then that. I guess that makes me an optimist and you a pessimist.



badlilthang -> RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (8/12/2008 11:50:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

quote:

"I am 55 years old, I've been swinging a paddle/crop/whatever for 35 years and had a dozen slaves. I am a great and skilled Master/Mistress, so I am OWED respect!!"

I usually find it comical when they use the "dozens of slaves" argument as proof of their skill -- seems to me if they were as good as they claim that some of those slaves would have stuck around.

*OMG...my thoughts exactly. IF they were this skilled and great - one would wonder about the number of slaves. 35:12=3 years per slave..and if there were dozens...lol....narrow it down to less than a year.....did the slaves run away when they saw through the ...erm.....greatness? i show respect from the get go - giving them the benefit of the doubt - and i am naturally respdectful - people do not have to earn my respect - but i must say a few have lost it...s...*



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (8/12/2008 11:54:46 AM)

Sorry, I am not going to respect someone because they are a dominant.  I certainly don't expect anyone to instantly respect me because I am!  Everyone gets courtesy, we work our way along from there.



CruelDesires -> RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (8/12/2008 11:55:23 AM)

If I flex my Ubor-mussels and give you the Ubor-look and turn on my Ubor-charm, would you change your mind Missokyst? [;)]

C-D



masterforRT -> RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (8/12/2008 11:56:45 AM)

(reply to Missokyst)

I read your profile. It explains a lot. There are more "I"s in there then any other profile I think I've seen before. Perhaps you should explain what you have to offer rather then telling people everything you expect from them.

Your cynicism and strong wall building shuts you off from a lot of good people here who deserve better then your attitude about them.



darchChylde -> RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (8/12/2008 12:17:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: masterforRT

(reply to Missokyst)

I read your profile. It explains a lot. There are more "I"s in there then any other profile I think I've seen before. Perhaps you should explain what you have to offer rather then telling people everything you expect from them.

Your cynicism and strong wall building shuts you off from a lot of good people here who deserve better then your attitude about them.


She's saying that her behavior is not bound by whatever label every Tom, Dick, or Harry decides to stick on his/her nametag; why are you taking it so personally.  You don't want to have to "walk the walk" for everyone?  Then don't, walk it for yourself and those that serve you; why should Missokysts opinion matter so much to you?  She's just pixels on a screen to you, yet you decide to go about judging everything about her just because she doesn't bow to everyone who decides to call themselves a dominant...  where's the sense in that?



LaTigresse -> RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (8/12/2008 12:22:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: masterforRT

(reply to Missokyst)

I read your profile. It explains a lot. There are more "I"s in there then any other profile I think I've seen before. Perhaps you should explain what you have to offer rather then telling people everything you expect from them.

Your cynicism and strong wall building shuts you off from a lot of good people here who deserve better then your attitude about them.


RT you provide a very interesting example of the type of behaviour that led me down the thought path that created this thread. Thank you.



sirsholly -> RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (8/12/2008 12:27:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: masterforRT

You might not know or like a person, but if they ARE a Dom, then they deserve a certain respect for their POSITION!




Bull. Anyone can slap a title on their ass.



sirsholly -> RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (8/12/2008 12:30:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

I treat everyone with respect until they prove they deserve otherwise.  The best way to earn my respect is to treat me with respect.


i treat everyone with courtesy until they prove they deserve respect...



KnightofMists -> RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (8/12/2008 12:35:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

My point was such that IF a person feels they are entitled to being treated a certain way, if their egos are structured in such a way that they need that external validation, moreso if they demand it.....then they should consider walking the walk rather than just talking the talk.



I agree completely... unfortunately.... talk is cheap and many can only afford that...



CreativeDominant -> RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (8/12/2008 12:41:39 PM)

I've enjoyed many of the posts on here and have been given some new angles of thought which I will take and mull over.

My own views on respect have been honed through what I was taught as a young child, as a teenager, as an adult in the military, in doctoral school and in practice, as well as what I have read and learned from others' viewpoints. 

I treat people courteously from the start.  I believe in civility and courtesy extended towards all people until they show that they are not deserving of it.  Disagreement is not discourtesy, it is disagreement.  Therefore, disagreement is not a lack of respect, it is disagreement...a parting of the ways in thought process over a particular issue.  Many see disagreement, even when stated in civil and courteous terms, as being uncivil or rude or lacking in respect.  It is not. 
I have respect for myself as a person, overall.  There are aspects of myself that I don't particularly care for and I work at those but for the most part, I have established important parts of myself in a manner that I do respect.  I do not demand respect from people and do not curry it in any manipulative way.  I am many things...a father, an ex-husband, a brother, a doctor, a dominant.  All of those usually carry a certain amount of respect that goes with the "title".  But I never wanted to just work off the title alone...I wanted my words and deeds to equate to the title.  Sometimes they have and sometimes they have not ...what I hoped for in those instances was that my misdeeds did not kill respect.  But if it did...and it was an understandable consequence of my actions, then it was on me to accept it and decide if I could live without that person's respect or to make amends and re-earn it.

Tell me you've won a hundred races and show me the awards and I will respect the accomplishment and the driver.  But...tell me or show me that you won those races by sabotaging your fellow drivers, by disregarding the rules, by cheating to win...and what is there to respect?  The man/woman who can resort to these tactics?  The driver who can resort to these tactics?  The wins accomplished nefariously?



CruelDesires -> RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (8/12/2008 12:46:04 PM)

It doesn't take one long to pick them out.

C-D



KnightofMists -> RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (8/12/2008 12:48:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: masterforRT

Here's my take on it:

I dislike George W. Bush. I think he's the worst President in 100 years.  That said, he DID get elected the most powerful man in the world-twice.

Though I don't like or respect the MAN, I DO respect his POSITION. Do you see the difference?  The POSITION of President has to be respected.

Same for D/s.

You might not know or like a person, but if they ARE a Dom, then they deserve a certain respect for their POSITION!


This is about the most stupid example I have seen to date...........

First... the President is Elected.... and goes through alot of hurdles to get to that position.

Last time I checked.... A dominant is not elected by his peers or anyone else for that matter.

I might not like the President! but they are the President due to having legitimate authority to have the position.

Just because someone slaps a label of Dom on themselves doesn't make them a Dominant.  Anymore than some nut saying he is President.  The right President claims such a label because he has the legitimate authority to do so.

so.. what authority does a person claiming to be a Dominant have?  And why should I or anyone else respect that authority?



CruelDesires -> RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (8/12/2008 12:49:35 PM)

Disagreement is one thing. Belittlement and condescending arrogance is another. C-D 



stella41b -> RE: Age + Experience = Respect??? No...I don't think so Vern. (8/12/2008 12:49:56 PM)

To me respect is only a given when you are talking about yourself. I respect myself and I would assume that most other people in this respects are similar, i.e. they respect themselves.

Beyond that I guess it's a bit like trust, sympathy, empathy, it's something which comes across, which is inspired, rather than demanded, earned, and it is this way I would assume because it relates directly to the person.

The thing is you cannot gain respect by validating yourself or proving yourself to others, it comes simply from you being who you really are to others.



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