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Sir - 11/20/2005 2:38:05 PM   
missdriver


Posts: 31
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		I am new to this scene, can anyone tell me how long it should it be before a sub calls a Dom Sir or Master
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Sir - 11/20/2005 2:45:28 PM   
siamsa24


Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline 		Personally, I never call anyone aside from my customers at work "sir" (I work retail)

I feel that it's up to the person being called and the person doing the calling.
I know that's not the answer you were looking for, but it's the only one I have.

(in reply to missdriver)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Sir - 11/20/2005 2:47:17 PM   
jamesthehumanrug


Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline 		GREETINGS,
DRIVER ,
GEES... I DON'T KNOW,
IF YOU REALLY CAN'T TELL RIGHT ,OFF THE BAT,THEN ...CAN'T YOU EVEN TELL,IF YOU'RE DRIVING ;WHO'S WHO ,IN THE ,BEGINNING,BEFORE YOU START DRIVING SOMEONE ,AROUND?....

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 11/20/2005 2:48:59 PM >

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I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to missdriver)
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RE: Sir - 11/20/2005 2:48:27 PM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		I think it's pretty much between you and the Dom, or Master, case by case so to speak. JMO

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Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to missdriver)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Sir - 11/20/2005 2:56:43 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Welcome MissDriver :)

It really depends on you and the person you are talking with.

Personally, the only time I use the words 'Sir' or 'Maam' are when I am out and about in the everyday world :) ( A throwback from what my parents taught me about respecting others )

As for how long before you would use the word Master/Mistress with someone...well, that depends on you and the other person. Some don't want you to call them that, they perfer to be called by their first names, or by Sir/Maam (sometimes followed by their names or vice versa).

Also, unless you know them personally in RL, and have a tremendous amount of respect for the person you are talking to, I see no reason at all why you would address them with anything other than their given name (or in this case, their online name), despite what they are saying they should be called ( this mostly refers to the wonderful online world, where everyone is a Sir/Master and Maam/Mistress )

(in reply to missdriver)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Sir - 11/20/2005 3:27:12 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		A) when you feel it's appropriate

B) When the other person is comfortable with you doing it

Fulfill both of those conditions, and you're golden. If you want to take the risk when only A is fulfilled, feel free, but be ok with people requesting you not to use an honorific.

And obviously if you're given authority to a specific dominant over you, then only B is necesary (A has already been handled.)

(in reply to missdriver)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Sir - 11/20/2005 3:32:36 PM   
ginawithaB


Posts: 141
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		It really varies from person to person and from situation to situation. But for me personally, I ascribe to etiquette which suggests reserving the title "Master" for one's own Master, however that plays itself out in your life. I use "Sir" when speaking to or refering to doms with whom I am acquainted or becoming acquainted - as a term of respect. However, if a dom specifies that he does not wish to be called by any title, then I call him by his name. Or sometimes a dom will just "allow" me to use his name. However, there are always exceptions, for ex. although I am not collared/owned by anyone, I have used "Master" during play, simply b/c the particular scene called for it. But one hard and fast is that No One, get's "Master" right off the bat. And some people refer to doms as Master, just because they are more comfortable calling them that.

You should explore your options in this regard and choose a way that works best for you. Try not to get caught up in too many hard and fast rules, though. Life ebbs and flows too much for that. Take care,

gina

(in reply to missdriver)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Sir - 11/20/2005 3:40:09 PM   
SirBurd


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with gina. I call people "Sir" even though I am a Dom, at times, and liek when a submissive calls me "sir" as a title of respect, as I would call someone "Ms." or such. But, to be called Master is a title I wish to earn, to be called her "doom" likewise. I may be her mentor, or such, but I don't wan the title "Master" or "Dom" to become a cliche...while "sir" is a title I use, and like to have others use regarding me, out of everyday respect. Heck, I call people in the vanilla world "sir" out of respect, so to be called such is not that major a situation for one who is a sub to do.


(in reply to ginawithaB)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Sir - 11/20/2005 4:59:55 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

A) when you feel it's appropriate

B) When the other person is comfortable with you doing it

Fulfill both of those conditions, and you're golden. If you want to take the risk when only A is fulfilled, feel free, but be ok with people requesting you not to use an honorific.

And obviously if you're given authority to a specific dominant over you, then only B is necesary (A has already been handled.)


Agreed, and I'd like to also add, that even then it's not necessarily the honorific. I call Master "Daddy" rather than "Sir".


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Sir - 11/20/2005 8:29:34 PM   
MastersBabieGirl


Posts: 63
Joined: 11/17/2005
From: courtice ontario
Status: offline 		personally my masters over the years have all told me when and what they wanted to be referred to as
and when those titles were to be used

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owned and obeying my Master at all times

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Sir - 11/20/2005 8:33:10 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missdriver

I am new to this scene, can anyone tell me how long it should it be before a sub calls a Dom Sir or Master


Simple answer, if you want to call him Sir or Master ask. He'll tell you. In short it is up to both of you and the input from anyone else is superfluous.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to missdriver)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Sir - 11/20/2005 9:28:55 PM   
Delvin


Posts: 151
Joined: 8/23/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missdriver

I am new to this scene, can anyone tell me how long it should it be before a sub calls a Dom Sir or Master


When it feels right to do so.

D

(in reply to missdriver)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Sir - 11/21/2005 12:27:02 AM   
obis


Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Agreed, and I'd like to also add, that even then it's not necessarily the honorific. I call Master "Daddy" rather than "Sir".


And indeed, some of us don't even like titles at all. As with all things, they'll let you know if it should be a certain way!

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Sir - 11/21/2005 12:30:53 AM   
tigress31047


Posts: 98
Joined: 4/26/2005
Status: offline 		hello missdriver...I usually call most Doms Sir in person unless they say not to..as far as online it is sometimes hard to tell who is who, so asking if they are Dom/Domme, sub/slave. switch works, I call noone Master except the one who owns me

tigress

(in reply to missdriver)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Sir - 11/21/2005 2:53:00 AM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		Heck, you can use Sir right away, all depends on the tone in which it's used.....

Q

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(in reply to tigress31047)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Sir - 11/21/2005 4:44:07 AM   
missdriver


Posts: 31
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		thank you all for your comments, i have learnt a lot from these message boards, wish i had looked at them sooner..lol Most of the so called Doms on line i have spoke to have told me to call them Sir or Master prectically straight away but it didnt feel right, now i realise they are just wannabees

(in reply to Quivver)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Sir - 11/21/2005 4:52:44 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Well, some may find potential in you and wish to begin "training" early. It doesn't necessarily mean they are wannabees. You can always refuse their request and explain that it's too soon, not right, or whatever.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to missdriver)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Sir - 11/21/2005 5:22:57 AM   
FTopinMichigan


Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missdriver
Most of the so called Doms on line i have spoke to have told me to call them Sir or Master prectically straight away but it didnt feel right, now i realise they are just wannabees


I agree with Katy that it may not be a sure sign of a wannabee, but you might try telling them that you'd be happy to call them whatever "name" they prefer, but that you prefer to be called "Miss Driver!"

If it makes you feel uncomfortable to call them what they prefer...let them know your own preference. It's a bit much for a man to demand something from you, on an initial conversation.

I'm a Top and I've had men introduce themselves to me as "sir." They can be called whatever they want, but "sir" wasn't what "I" had in mind.

K

(in reply to missdriver)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Sir - 11/21/2005 5:32:16 AM   
Nightguy


Posts: 55
Joined: 4/28/2005
Status: offline 		Well I have always found "Sir" to be a safe term of address. Any submissive that uses it with me I think of as just being polite. I've known submissives that have tried to call me "Master" from the start, and those are the ones I try to correct because in my view, your only Master is the one you personally serve.

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Sir - 11/21/2005 6:18:04 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missdriver

thank you all for your comments, i have learnt a lot from these message boards, wish i had looked at them sooner..lol Most of the so called Doms on line i have spoke to have told me to call them Sir or Master prectically straight away but it didnt feel right, now i realise they are just wannabees

Don't fall into the trap of calling them fakes or wannabes just because they don't do things the way that makes you feel right. Doms are just like people- some are assholes and dorks. You can be both.

For every dom YOU call a wannabe, will be a dom calling YOU a wannabe. We're all just folk.

(in reply to missdriver)
Profile   Post #: 20
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