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RE: Is there any real Dommes left? - 7/30/2004 7:03:00 PM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Zanthia,

You forgot to mention castration in his preparations to serve you. Since he won't be a sex slave you might as well remove the entire package - he won't need it anymore and the reduced testosterone production should make him more compliant. While the doc is down there he might as well get the prostate, he won't be needing that anymore either.

:::eye roll:::

YAWN

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to MistressZanthia)

Post #: 21

RE: Is there any real Dommes left? - 7/30/2004 7:08:26 PM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

I wish you luck in your endeavors, but just felt the need to throw out my opinion.

Regards,

Sinergy

WHAT?!? No Caveat?

Who are you and what have you done with Sinergy?

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 22

RE: Is there any real Dommes left? - 7/30/2004 7:50:53 PM

anthrosub

Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline

pet4Mommy,
If you want to meet a Dominant female, do yourself a favor and look for ways to meet people in person. Use these boards to educate yourself by reading what other would be "slaves" that post a similar message such as your original get for a response. You're already getting some of it here. It's all good information in spite of how it seems to be coming across.

Trying to meet someone online will more often than not distract you from where you really need to be applying yourself...not here. Trust me, it generally doesn't work even though you will read the occasional success story here and there. The boards are populated with many who have been involved in this lifestyle in one way or another and have lots of good information. Accordingly, they will most likely not be looking for someone to serve them as they've already established themselves.

One more thing...keep in mind that this lifestyle is more an activity that's woven into a normal "vanilla" life by most than it is a pure way of life. There are as many ways to practice BDSM as there are practitioners. There are no standards. Don't assume there are and go asking to be told what they are. Just listen...learn...read on.

Finally, everything i just said is subject to being refuted or called an outright lie. This is normal online exchange and helps you learn who's real and who's playing. It will take time to tell the difference but the main thing is don't get drawn into becoming a slave to the Internet because You're looking for someone to serve in real life.

Hope this helps!

anthrosub

_____________________________

"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

(in reply to MistressZanthia)

Post #: 23

RE: Is there any real Dommes left? - 7/30/2004 10:26:19 PM

MistressZanthia

Posts: 88
Joined: 7/2/2004
From: Seattle, Washington, USA
Status: offline

Shucks, dammit. How could I forget castration? *whaps self* I completely forgot that stupid hormonal problem with the male slave types. Thank you for pointing out the errors of my thinking process Suz.

_____________________________

~*Zan*~
www.zanthia.com

(in reply to anthrosub)

Post #: 24

RE: Is there any real Dommes left? - 7/30/2004 10:48:30 PM

pet4Mommy

Posts: 8
Joined: 7/29/2004
Status: offline

ok, what ever.

_____________________________

"A winner is a looser that keeps on trying"

(in reply to MistressZanthia)

Post #: 25

RE: Is there any real Dommes left? - 7/31/2004 4:58:46 AM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I gotta give you and Miz Suz credit for defining your difference between slave and submissive.

Actually it is a pretty good definition. A slave will get castrated willingly by his Mistress. (Sounds like a vanilla marriage.

)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to MistressZanthia)

Post #: 26

RE: Is there any real Dommes left? - 7/31/2004 7:18:05 AM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

For clarity -

I don't advocate or expect castration from anyone (I wish I had a dollar for every time someone has asked me about it, though).

Yes, believe it or not, I was being facetious.

My point is that everyone has their limits and preferences. My experience is that those who say they are ONLY interested in what the mistress is interested in can't live it 24/7. It makes sense, nobody can give without getting back forever. It's damaging to the psyche.

Being able to get your pleasure from providing pleasure is a benchmark of submission, I agree with this. But to assume that, as a submissive, your life must be entirely about only what she wishes leaves no room for reciprocity. A relationship without reciprocity is similar to "on-going" charity. Inevitably it undermines the self-esteem of the individual receiving said charity, creating a situation in which there is a subconcious message of "you have nothing of value to contribute." Surely a submissive man would not want to send this message to the woman he wishes to serve.

I've heard LOTS of people say "when we play s/he asks me if I'm ok too much. It takes me out of headspace - just TAKE what you want!" I can understand this a good deal, but that is in scene/ play. In the day to day there must not only be reciprocity but also open communication. If both people are not getting out of the relationship then the relationship will die.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 27

off topic - 7/31/2004 7:40:27 AM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Just an off topic note.

I understood you were facetious, but I'm not the one asking you about castration and D/s.

No one can see your body laguage. When totally ironic and you might want to show that you were smiling when writing, maybe one of those smiley things can be used.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to MizSuz)

Post #: 28

RE: off topic - 7/31/2004 7:44:50 AM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I wasn't smiling when I wrote it. Perhaps "sarcastic" would have been a better adjective.

< Message edited by MizSuz -- 7/31/2004 7:46:57 AM >

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 29

RE: Is there any real Dommes left? - 7/31/2004 9:18:33 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pet4Mommy

ok, what ever.

Hey now. As a non-dominant observer, they really are giving you excelent advice. They were maybe a bit harsh in they ways they went about it, but think about it.

They approached you with what you were looking for. Did you like it? Did it make you angry? I came into BDSM with the expectation that someone would just....take me over...so to speak. That I would be left with no choices but obedience, and that my fufilment would only come through the fufilment of my partners.

Then I did a lot of reading online, and experienced a bunch of different things. Came to the realization that while I LOVE that in fantasy, I can't live it all the time, every day, without going insane. Sat down and did a bunch of soul-searching and figured out what I -can- live day to day and what my personal needs are to be mostly sane and mostly happy. Reaslitically.

Then I found a partner that appreciated those needs and got what he needed from me. And honestly, as time progresses, I'm working more toward what I first idealized as my relationship, but that's because my needs are changing.

So yeah, listen to what they're saying. Think realistically about what you can live with and what you -do- need. Accept that dominant people recognize that most submissive people are people too and that a relationship, by deffinition, requires both parties to be happy.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to pet4Mommy)

Post #: 30

RE: Is there any real Dommes left? - 7/31/2004 9:20:33 AM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

WHAT?!? No Caveat?

Who are you and what have you done with Sinergy?

*reloads Sinergy V2.0 with MsCaveat*

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 31

RE: Is there any real Dommes left? - 7/31/2004 9:48:47 AM

Sundew02

Posts: 457
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline

pet, We are dominant, and not without concern for those in our world who wish to be on the right side of the slash. But when you seek what you have never had, and we have experienced, we tend to send a blunt message. Like most who feel the draw of D/s you want it the way you have dreamed it will be NOW. Note I did NOT use the word fantascy. We all require hopes and dreams to sustain us, dominant and slave alike.
Enjoy getting to that goal, one step at a time. Ask questions, if not of Dominants, then of fellow sub/slaves. Experience short term situations, learn new skills that will attract the type of Dominant woman you seek. If ProDoms upset you put it in your profile, no professionals. If you feel this is too "assertive", then simply say no thank you, or do not respond to them.
Open your imagination to view the world with more tolerance. Sundew

_____________________________

~~~~~Enjoy the ride, the landing could get painful~~~~

(in reply to pet4Mommy)

Post #: 32

RE: Is there any real Dommes left? - 8/3/2004 11:44:16 PM

MistressZanthia

Posts: 88
Joined: 7/2/2004
From: Seattle, Washington, USA
Status: offline

Forgive me for being so blunt in making my point previously, but I truly do hope that:

A) This submissive gets out to a support group meeting in his area, before he labels himself a "slave".

B) He stops living in "slave fantasyland" as we Dommes are humans too and really generally don't like to micromanage our submissives (I could be wrong but it's the consensus of my Domme girlfriends).

C) He does some soul searching in order to redefine his actual wants and needs in a dominant lady and clarifies it. Because the truth is until he does define it, he is wandering in the dark expecting someone to take over his life for him, and that isn't likely to happen. Once again apply the "do me" rule. I don't cater to "do me subs" unless they pay me.

And as for this professional, I don't solicit submissives, they come to me. If any self-labeled "pro domme" emails you in order to sell you on herself, slap ignore on, you have a trolling web-Domme looking for easy money. Got it? Good.

_____________________________

~*Zan*~
www.zanthia.com

(in reply to Sundew02)

Post #: 33

RE: Is there any real Dommes left? - 8/4/2004 5:45:26 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

OOOH A 100% SLAVE!!! WOW!!! Those are soooo rare!!! I want!!!

I love those. Okay boy, since you asked for it. Go liquidate all your assets, empty your bank account and get a cashier's check for it all in my name and get yourself a bus ticket to my city and hitch a ride to my house. Oh and be ready to work, I have 8 acres needing fenced and a barn to be mucked out. Oh and the cow needs milking twice a day. Think you can handle that for starters? Good, because there's more.

You can sleep in the barn with the animals and I'll be sure to ask my local grocer for his spoilage (veggies and things too old to sell) in order to be able to feed you cheaply enough to warrant keeping you around. And then if I deem you worthy, maybe you'll be allowed inside the house for housekeeping training. You'll still eat off the floor and sleep in the barn shackled however. As I really don't have any personal chores I'd consider you worthy of. Isn't that sexy? Sure is, you get to serve a Goddess, but note, in her way only.

And as long as you continue to slave for me we'll be perfectly happy... oh what's that I hear? Is that a slave talking back to his Mistress? Is that a slave expecting something? Is that a slave wanting to be sexually gratified? I bet it is... not very romantic or sexy is it? Ah, but you wanted to be a slave, oh, you thought you'd be a "sex slave"? Sorry, I have a submissive I adore for those purposes.

I think you'll find in your search boy, that women generally don't "need" sex slaves, submissives are generally fine for those purposes. Odd though how the male mind romantisizes slavery... until it really is slavery.

Mistress Xanthia,

I would be honored if you could spare him to paint my house.

Regards,

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to MistressZanthia)

Post #: 34

RE: Is there any real Dommes left? - 8/4/2004 5:47:42 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

B) He stops living in "slave fantasyland" as we Dommes are humans too and really generally don't like to micromanage our submissives (I could be wrong but it's the consensus of my Domme girlfriends).

My second submissive used to want me to micromanage her life.

Im thinking (working 2 jobs, etc) I need MORE stuff to keep track of?

Always seemed to me that having a sub was supposed to make life better
for both of us.

*grumbles Dominantly*

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 35

RE: Is there any real Dommes left? - 8/4/2004 6:57:10 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: pet4Mommy

ok, what ever.

Hey now. As a non-dominant observer, they really are giving you excelent advice. They were maybe a bit harsh in they ways they went about it, but think about it.

They approached you with what you were looking for. Did you like it? Did it make you angry? I came into BDSM with the expectation that someone would just....take me over...so to speak. That I would be left with no choices but obedience, and that my fufilment would only come through the fufilment of my partners.

Harsh or not, I have to agree, pet4mommy.

You asked them a question, then made a rather peurile and sullen response
which anybody (including Dommes) reading these posts will read. If the initial question was based out of a desire to truly become what they are looking for, i.e. changing yourself, your response kinda indicated to me you have no intention of ever doing so.

I personally hope you find what you are looking for, but I would bet dollars to donuts you wont without changing your attitude.

Just me, could be wrong, etc.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 36

RE: Is there any real Dommes left? - 8/4/2004 10:19:39 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD
No one here
is a fake All are here to be what they want to be.
If what they want to be does not fit into your idea of
right we all have the option to move on and continue
to search.

Well said. I usually stop and read your posts Mistress Dread. Each is a winding journey but almost every time I find something interesting along the way. :)

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

Post #: 37

RE: Is there any real Dommes left? - 8/4/2004 10:32:38 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

If he talks back remove his tongue. What do you need it for?

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to MistressZanthia)

Post #: 38

RE: Is there any real Dommes left? - 8/6/2004 12:26:56 AM

MystressAna

Posts: 33
Joined: 6/14/2004
From: Sacramento California USA
Status: offline

There are many reasons for a top or dom/me to ask a potential bottom/sub/slave etc what their needs and interests are. I ask when I negotiate with someone because its the responsible thing to do. It helps me to establish a common vocabulary, to understand their needs, to understand their wants, to gather information on medical concerns that may be involved, to determine if we are kink compatible, to see if we are vanilla compatible etc.

Asking someone what their needs are is a good way to find out if they can communicate well and have thought through what they are looking for in a bdsm or D/s partner.

I suggest that you join some of your local real life groups and see how this is done in real life rather than talking to us here on collarme or folks on bondage. Talk to the folks who session bottoms. See the difference between tops and dominants. Perhaps you will be fortunate and there will be a master local to you. There really is no substitute for real life experience to teach one how to find a "real" domme.

Ana :)

(in reply to pet4Mommy)

Post #: 39

RE: Is there any real Dommes left? - 8/7/2004 6:16:40 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

If he talks back remove his tongue. What do you need it for?

To provide you with oral pleasure. Duh.

Get a vet to remove his vocal chords instead.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to MystressAna)

Post #: 40

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