RE: Cuckolding

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MizSuz -> RE: Cuckolding (7/15/2006 9:01:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: malakas I note that the dictionary definitions of "degradation" and "humiliation" you quoted indicate the two words are synonymous: "degradation" is one of the definitions of "humiliation." Consequently, the distinction you identify is your creature. There’s nothing wrong with that so long as what you are trying to communicate is not rendered ambiguous. Absolutely. That's one reason my explanation was as verbose as it was. I was discussing what works for me. It's why I said "I don't personally see humiliation as degradation." quote: ORIGINAL: malakas I agree there are possible cuckoldry scenarios in which the cuckoldress is debased - explicitly or implicitly - by the cuckold. I am uncomfortable using cuckold terminology for these scenarios because I don’t believe they apply. To me, cuckoldry presupposes that the woman affirmatively enjoys (figuratively and literally) the notion and the reality of having sex with other men - including all ramifications thereof - while the cuck remains monogamous. To me as well (with the exception of "all the ramifications" if one of those ramifications is to be devalued) cuckoldry presupposes that the woman affirmatively enjoys...as you say. It's a dynamic I have enjoyed for some time in one form or another. I do, however, think that the scenarios you eschew calling cuckoldry are in fact cuckoldry, just not in a form you and I particularly care for. As I mentioned, there are scenarios in which the woman gets a buzz from the 'humiliation' of the 'whore' role. More power to her, I say. If they're married (and/ or significant others) and she has sex with other people it's cuckoldry (admittedly probably not D/s based cuckoldry). It's just not my cup of tea. Apparently it's not yours either. quote: ORIGINAL: malakas I respectfully disagree with the generalization that "if the relationship is based in cuckoldry then the relationship is about the cuck's kink." I prefaced that sentence with "consider this" not "so let it be written, so let it be done." The intent was to pose it as food for thought, to consider the tone of the original post and to consider how often one may have seen that attitude. To examine whether it is a pitfall one would wish to fall into or avoid all together. It's an attitude I've seen with a similar frequency as the times I hear "let me serve you" when the hidden meaning is "please make me do exactly what I want to do." I think it warrants examination if for no other reason than to better understand our own motivations. I don't have a problem with a cuck who gets off on being cucked, in fact it would seem a pretty good match with a woman who gets off on cuckolding someone. For me, however, his getting off on it is not a good enough reason for me to do it and I don't especially need him to enjoy it for me to be able to enjoy doing it. I'd rather be with someone who isn't necessarily 'into it' but respects me and wants me to be happy, than with someone who is so into it that they can't see the woman for the fantasy. quote: ORIGINAL: malakas There are many permutations of cuckoldry in which the cuckoldress’ "personal preferences and enjoyment are what is paramount to him." The cuckoldresses I’ve known have all been driven by their personal preferences and enjoyment, which included the specific recognition that they were cuckolding a man in the process. Ain't it great?!? I'm happy for you that you have been saved the onslaught of the ever prowling "others." I wish I could say the same. quote: ORIGINAL: malakas Any time a man and a woman are independently turned on by the notion of cuckoldry before entering a cuckold relationship with each other, it can be said that to some extent the relationship is about the cuck’s kink. This doesn’t mean that the relationship is not also about the cuckoldress’ kink to the same or greater extent. I also completely agree and I think you put it beautifully. My point is that I'm not the sort to enjoy the type of relationship in which either partner devalues the other. I don't care if others enjoy it. It's just not for me. quote: ORIGINAL: malakas Based on your circumscriptions, it appears the only cuckold scenario that would pass muster is one in which the man is not a cuckold at the beginning and is turned by the woman into an accepting cuckold during the course of the relationship. This is analogous to deflowering a virgin in conventional sex: you may run across one, but I wouldn’t count on it. No, I don't have a bar that only guys who aren't into it must pass. In fact, while I get great satisfaction and quite turned on by someone giving me something they wouldn't give anyone else, the truth for me is that I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone who couldn't accept this part of me (whether he was 'into it' or not). As for the possibility of running into someone who isn't a cuck but ends up being quite happily cucked being slim - I was married to one for 10 years. It wasn't about the sex, it was about sharing and mutual respect. He was not submissive (although I still believe he had the heart and soul of a submissive), he was monogamous because that was right for him and he was respectful of my not being monogamous because that was right for me. Humiliation wasn't a part of this dynamic because he saw nothing shameful in my doing what was right for me, nor did he see it as a reflection of his inadequacy. He knew I loved him and that my commitment was to him. He may not have been a cuck in the fetish sense of the word, but I certainly cuckolded him in the traditional sense of the word. It was a non-issue for us. It can and does happen. Edited to fix the screwed up quotes.

malakas -> RE: Cuckolding (7/16/2006 10:29:40 AM)
MizSuz, Thanks for your cogent reply. I have a "food for thought" question not directed solely to you but to everyone. Why is it that everyone I've met with any interest in cuckoldry draws a sharp distinction and decries the garden variety cheating wife/female partner scenario in which the woman's extracurriculars are plain and obvious and no effort is made to conceal them but they are not expressly acknowledged or discussed while the man is held to monogamy? After all, is this not the scenario which the word "cuckold" originally described?

MizSuz -> RE: Cuckolding (7/16/2006 3:26:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: malakas Why is it that everyone I've met with any interest in cuckoldry draws a sharp distinction and decries the garden variety cheating wife/female partner scenario in which the woman's extracurriculars are plain and obvious and no effort is made to conceal them but they are not expressly acknowledged or discussed while the man is held to monogamy? After all, is this not the scenario which the word "cuckold" originally described? I can't speak for everyone else or everyone you've met, but I would be averse to the scenario you describe because there is not an openly discussed consent. I've never had this sort of relationship so I can only formulate an opinion as an outsider looking in. I don't especially agree that the original intent of the word by default had anything to do with whether or not the activity was acknowledged. In fact I've never seen that qualifier in a definition of cuckold before.

malakas -> RE: Cuckolding (7/16/2006 3:46:41 PM)
You're right. Notwithstanding my intentions, my post did not make a point but only expressed my subjective views based on my personal experience. I didn't think the question through before posing it. Sorry to waste your time in pointing out what should have been obvious to me before I posted.

MizSuz -> RE: Cuckolding (7/16/2006 4:50:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: malakas Sorry to waste your time in pointing out what should have been obvious to me before I posted. <smile> You don't have the power to waste my time, but I appreciate your taking the time to offer the apology.

IronBear -> RE: Cuckolding (7/17/2006 3:33:19 PM)
Fast Reply: If traditionally a man wears a green hat to show his wife is screwing around, what message is being given out on the St Patrick Day gatherings? On the same vein, does Green Beer mean that the pub serving it is screwing you?

MizSuz -> RE: Cuckolding (7/17/2006 5:43:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear If traditionally a man wears a green hat to show his wife is screwing around, what message is being given out on the St Patrick Day gatherings? On the same vein, does Green Beer mean that the pub serving it is screwing you? BAAAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! Man, that was funny.

mechbot972007 -> RE: Cuckolding (12/7/2006 4:00:10 PM)
"What this period of correspondence made me realise is that Martin's fantasy has now become reality. I really do now regard him as being deficient in the bedroom, and I'm no longer playacting when I think of his cock as being small. I'm not pretending when I say I want a real man, a non-submissive, adequately-pricked lover who will screw me in every way imaginable until I'm too exhausted to take any more. Above all though, I want to have this man take me while Martin is there watching. Martin made me enjoy the idea of humiliating him by offering myself to others, and that's exactly what I now intend to do. This is so important for you, the reader, to understand. It's not sufficient for me just to have sex with another man. Yes, I want this, I want it very badly. But also I want the intense sexual pleasure that will come from taunting my husband as he watches a better-endowed lover give me pleasure that he will never be able to match. I want Martin to endure the experience of witnessing his wife openly begging another man to have sex with her in ways that he could never have imagined in even his deepest fantasies. On the introductory page to my diary I said that I love my husband dearly, and now I'm telling you that not only do I enjoy dominating him physically, but that I want him to suffer the mental agony of knowing that another man's sperm has ejaculated inside me. Maybe a psychologist could reconcile these conflicting emotions, but all I know is that they simultaneously exist - the love I have for Martin, and the need to cuckold and humiliate him. " a quote from a ladies blog..were her husband martin "pushed/forced" her to cuckold him http://www.mariasdiary.com/md151005.html hope this helps nic Respectfully, chris

LTRsubNW -> RE: Cuckolding (12/9/2006 4:01:46 PM)
I'm confident that CM will not be averse to a competing (hardly) site as to a sub catagory. http://www.cuckoldplace.com/ If you're into cuckolding, as some are...this has a world of information...at least kink. (Enjoy)

AcademyForSlaves -> RE: Cuckolding (12/9/2006 5:14:14 PM)
Hi. Sure I own and train male slaves that are into being chastised and cuckolding. I own their penis and control their orgasms and they in turn focus not on serving their penis but on serving me.

LTRsubNW -> RE: Cuckolding (12/9/2006 5:25:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves Hi. Sure I own and train male slaves that are into being chastised and cuckolding. I own their penis and control their orgasms and they in turn focus not on serving their penis but on serving me. You're a commercial entity. You have no basis as far as I'm concerned.

liks2plzlf -> RE: Cuckolding (12/10/2006 1:04:07 PM)
Although there are a few on here who do enjoy cuckolding, I believe it is 99% a man thing. Since many men request it, and only a few Dominas like it, the interest has to be generated by men. Reading from a site submitted by LTRsubNW, all but one of the stories were written from the male's prospective.I love the attitude from some of the Dominas, that her slave will do what ever she wants, peroid. To enter into a tpe, or slavery, which are the same thing to me, I would expect that being in love would be essential. Being involved with cuckolding, or foot worship, or whatever,would not be exciting to me, if the Domina did not also enjoy some aspect about it. Even in a vanilla relationship, doing something with your partner, that you knew she did not share you enjoyment in, looses its flavor. As a slave I expect sometimes, possibly frequently, I may be required to do things I don't like, just for the Dominas pleasure. One question I would like to ask someone who has experience in cuckolding, pertains to the one cuckolding story, written from the womans perspective. She claimed that there was aadditional excitement in her arousal, and a prolonged or more intense orgasm from having her lover in her, and having her slave husband, licking her at the same time. Men can't enjoy that! Is there any truth to this? What slave wouldn't want to provide his mistress with that kind of excitement, or pleasure?

Morrigel -> RE: Cuckolding (12/10/2006 8:16:26 PM)
My own bias against cuckolding is completely personal and goofy: I just think it's too much damn work. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like men, and I like sex as much as the next girl--but man, I can barely stand the effort it takes to find ONE guy. As a cuckoldress you have to find the one guy and then another and another and another. If I had a cuckslave, he would have to be the most insanely proactive cuckslave in the world--working all the time to find other men to amuse me. shakes her head I just don't have the energy to do all that myself... --M

liks2plzlf -> RE: Cuckolding (12/10/2006 10:00:45 PM)
I totally agree, it would seem like too much work, and there would be the saftey issue.. I would be thinking more of a situation, where the Domina happened to meet and get involved with someone, probably for the long term, and the idea of cuckolding her current slave appealed to her..Very infrequently, unless it was her desire. If it did not interest her, it would have no appeal for me either. In the case of those who are into it as a lifestyle, I would assume thier lovers were someone they were involved in for more than a one nighter.I would also think it would be hard for the woman to find men who would not be turned off by it.

LTRsubNW -> RE: Cuckolding (12/11/2006 3:17:25 PM)
(It's a good thang [8D])

jdtallfem -> RE: Cuckolding (12/14/2006 12:19:44 PM)
Yes, I'm wondering about situations where the Domme has a slave at home and cuckholds only one male stud? Perhaps a Friends with Benefits type situation, rather than constantly getting new studs? Has anyone heard of that? I'm just curious. Have been reading this post out of curiosity. Do not have cuckholding on my list, but I would think a FWB would be a lot safer.

cuckmeagain -> RE: Cuckolding (8/3/2007 9:35:33 PM)
I was married to a wonderful dominant woman for over 20 years. At her suggestion, we began what is now called a cuckold relationship. I am not, was not and never will be a small dicked inadequate lover. For us it was not about anything lacking on my part, but more about her desires to be able to enjoy the physical attentions of other men without fear of discovery or guilt. She was not they type of woman to go out to bars and pickup strange men. She did not have multiple other lovers. She would only be involved with one other man other than me. Even then she might go a long time between affairs. This was about her being free to control her own sex life. I loved this woman. I wanted her to have everything she desired. I would never have tried to deny her something that was as much a part of her as any physical aspect of her body. Did we incorporate this into our B/D relationship. Not at first. But after time, yes we did and it was awesome. We are not together any longer. Was it because of the lifestyly we led? No. As in any vanilla relationship, there are many forces that affect our lives and relationships. We split up because of things totally unrelated to the cuckolding. I felt we had a very successful relationship. 22 years together, 20 of them married, 15 of them in a cuckold relationship. It was awesome. We talked and shared everything involved. We became very close and she was truly my best friend. Would I do it again all over? You bet I would. Just look at my name. cuckmeagain

MzAri -> RE: Cuckolding (8/3/2007 11:16:21 PM)
I haven't much patience for having one man around -- why would I want to have to go out and hunt for more once I have one? I am a lusty wench as well as a demanding Mistress; and if the boy I have can't keep up with my libido he's not likely to last long in my life. I don't tend to keep spares of things when one can do what I need; one can opener, one computer, one television, one slave.

Stephann -> RE: Cuckolding (8/4/2007 3:50:39 AM)
Holy ancient thread! Why do I have the feeling someone's trolling.... Stephan

nick2020 -> RE: Cuckolding (8/4/2007 5:04:18 AM)
Dear malakas: Please refer to the start of this thread. It had nothing to do with you!! The world does not revolve around malakas.

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