The "Ubers" (Full Version)

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mistoferin -> The "Ubers" (8/15/2008 8:20:05 AM)

I've been noticing a trend over the last several months on the boards here. We've got "ubers" coming out of the woodwork. Uber Masters, Uber Dominants, Uber Subs and Slaves, Uber Sadists, Uber Masochists. Everyone look at me!!!! I am one badass mo' fo'!!! Are you all paying attention?????

We all play harder than everyone else. We are waaaaayyyyy more extreme than you could ever hope to be. Safety? Who needs to think about that shit? Common sense? Who needs it? Fuck all of that...that's for pussies. You just gotta get out there and live. Like Nike says "Just do it". Throw all caution to the wind and find the most extreme person you can....nope, you don't have to know anything about them. Make sure you jump right in there with both feet and do things that most folks would consider insane. See, that's what proves how "real" you are. Those "other" people....the pussies...well we all know they're lesser...chicken shits that they are.

Added bonus, if you're on the Top end of the spectrum and you are an Uber....you will have a flock of google eyed starlets following you around like panting and drooling puppy dogs. After all, you're their validation...their "proof" of just how "real" they are.

Instead of quietly just doing what you do...and being who you are...you need the whole world to know. You need to use derogatory, demeaning and condescending words to make everyone else know how much better you are, how much more extreme, how much more "real".

The cock strutting and grandstanding is comical to watch. It's quite a grand show. Unfortunately though there is a sad aspect to it too. Some people come here looking for information and answers. I'm sure that a lot of them see the show and walk away thinking they just don't make the cut.



RavenMuse -> RE: The "Ubers" (8/15/2008 8:47:07 AM)

Whilst with some posts I'd agree that an element of that is present, I want to reverse that for a moment and address something else I have seen time and time again... on here and elsewhere. The majority enjoy less intense play, all fine and good. But when some of those who enjoy heavier play post about it, want to discuss it or even answer a post from their perspective... whilst there isn't ANY elitist attitude in their attitude (Typicaly the attitude is "What works for you works, thats the important bit. Here's how it works for Me") you get a proportion of others jumping on their high horse, calling them 'uber', making claims of elitism and bitching at them.

Rather like reverse snobery. The claims are not comming from the heavier players actual attitude but from the lighter players own insecurity.... no matter how many times the heavier player re-iterates that there is no value judgement other than if whatever is happening works for those involved and that They are simply giving their perspective..... they are attacked for giving that perspective. Many times it isn't the so-called 'uber' making a value judgement but the 'accuser' apparently doing so and projecting.

mist, " Instead of quietly just doing what you do...and being who you are...you need the whole world to know."... if you believe that then why are you on these boards? To discuss and share experiences I would assume.... why then should someone be pilloried for doing EXACTLY that, simply because they happen to play hard rather than soft? Personaly I thought it was a forum for discussing ALL the different aspects of WIITWD... thats the whole scale from using a feather to using the entire ostrich!



Abraxus -> RE: The "Ubers" (8/15/2008 8:51:43 AM)

Well Uber alas I am just me. I don't give a hoot what others think of how extreme I play or how mild my play is. My play is just what it is "my play" part of my life. As long as my partner and I are happy I  can care less what others think of it. 



SimplyMichael -> RE: The "Ubers" (8/15/2008 8:53:51 AM)

Just remember, NOBODY is more modest than I am!  I think I am pretty damn uber at a few things and I KNOW I suck at a few as well.  The ones on this board who I most admire and respect are VASTLY different than I am.  I just bent the ear of one for an hour or so getting advice on MY relationship, trying to get some perspective.  I love this place BECAUSE there is such diversity and in general, a lack of "chest thumping".

The uber's do learn, there are a few here who I hit on the nose when they first arrived and yet are ones with whom I now share respect.  Hell, there was this major asshole called "crappydom" and I remember how much shit he got when he first arrived and it turns out he isn't such an asshole after all.  So, hit the ubers on the nose, point them in the right direction, but MOST importantly, keep posting about real stuff, deep vulnerable things, show them that a "real" dominant is far from perfect and that perfect, is after all, just a goal.



mistoferin -> RE: The "Ubers" (8/15/2008 8:54:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse
mist, " Instead of quietly just doing what you do...and being who you are...you need the whole world to know."... if you believe that then why are you on these boards? To discuss and share experiences I would assume.... why then should someone be pilloried for doing EXACTLY that, simply because they happen to play hard rather than soft? Personaly I thought it was a forum for discussing ALL the different aspects of WIITWD... thats the whole scale from using a feather to using the entire ostrich!


RavenMuse, I agree that many times it is the insecurity of the reader....but that is not what I am talking about in this thread. What I AM talking about is the condescention by some. This is a forum to share experiences and ideas, and I have certainly done my share of that and gleaned many good things from the posts of others as well. I have shared some things that some would consider to be on the more "extreme" end of the spectrum too....and I'm not a big fan of all of the safety measures myself either. But I don't post something "extreme" and follow it with statements that imply I'm above everyone else or downright name calling to everyone who doesn't play at the same level. THAT'S what I'm talking about.



Leatherist -> RE: The "Ubers" (8/15/2008 8:55:35 AM)

I agree.

"fluffy bunny elitists" are just as annoying.

If not more so.



GreedyTop -> RE: The "Ubers" (8/15/2008 8:56:27 AM)

IMO.. the 'name calling' is aimed at the people that want to (as RM said) pillory those who post about more extreme stuff.



housesub4you -> RE: The "Ubers" (8/15/2008 8:57:48 AM)

All I know is I Could Start a better thread than this [8D]

Opps.... hit the Ok key by mistake.

I think that some of the claims or questions asked by the "ubers" tend to come to an end rather quickly, most people can spot the BS from a distance and if anything call the people out on it. 




mistoferin -> RE: The "Ubers" (8/15/2008 8:58:13 AM)

Michael, I have gotten a world of good things from the stuff you post about. You reach levels of honesty about yourself that are refreshing and inspiring. But I have never seen you do the "I'm better than you because I'm more extreme" thing.



faerytattoodgirl -> RE: The "Ubers" (8/15/2008 8:58:14 AM)

all i know is im uber sexy with an uber hot voice.



GreedyTop -> RE: The "Ubers" (8/15/2008 8:59:27 AM)

I wonder how many pages this will be up to when I get up from my nap?



BitaTruble -> RE: The "Ubers" (8/15/2008 9:00:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin


The cock strutting and grandstanding is comical to watch. It's quite a grand show. Unfortunately though there is a sad aspect to it too. Some people come here looking for information and answers. I'm sure that a lot of them see the show and walk away thinking they just don't make the cut.


I believe the ones who don't frighten easily have a better shot at being prepared for the nitty gritty of r/t scenes and such. Some folks will read that post and get hot .. others will read it and run away. If a simple post in cyber space scares ya .. then r/t might be a bit too much for such delicate sensibilities. I tend to run with the group that considers those exploring are adults who can makes sensible decisions for themselves and if they're looking for something that is bright and shiney they needn't worry about those who enjoy caves, hooks or blood as they are not threatening, better, worse etc. It's simply another way of living life to the fullest and doesn't really enter into their personal relationships at all.





sirsholly -> RE: The "Ubers" (8/15/2008 9:00:57 AM)

FR

my feeling...if one has to brag (or call themselves "urber", which in my opinion sounds like a condition which requires Rolaids) they really are not what they claim.



Leatherist -> RE: The "Ubers" (8/15/2008 9:03:27 AM)

I guess what I find really amusing is the "bunny collectors"
 
Guys who follow the "ubers' around screaming "Danger Will Robinson!!!!!, Danger Will Robinson!!!!"
 
Trying to impress the lighter players with how "nice" and "safe" they are-purely to get laid.



sistermargaret -> RE: The "Ubers" (8/15/2008 9:06:13 AM)

OK, i'm new here. i put 'uber' in the search box and got the little screen that says, screw you, you're an idiot :)
What is an 'Uber'?
sm



mistoferin -> RE: The "Ubers" (8/15/2008 9:07:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin


The cock strutting and grandstanding is comical to watch. It's quite a grand show. Unfortunately though there is a sad aspect to it too. Some people come here looking for information and answers. I'm sure that a lot of them see the show and walk away thinking they just don't make the cut.


I believe the ones who don't frighten easily have a better shot at being prepared for the nitty gritty of r/t scenes and such. Some folks will read that post and get hot .. others will read it and run away. If a simple post in cyber space scares ya .. then r/t might be a bit too much for such delicate sensibilities. I tend to run with the group that considers those exploring are adults who can makes sensible decisions for themselves and if they're looking for something that is bright and shiney they needn't worry about those who enjoy caves, hooks or blood as they are not threatening, better, worse etc. It's simply another way of living life to the fullest and doesn't really enter into their personal relationships at all.


I guess I'm still not getting across right. I don't care how extreme someone wants to be. I don't care how extreme of stuff they want to post about. The ONLY thing that I'd like to see less of is people putting other people down for not being at the same level.



LaTigresse -> RE: The "Ubers" (8/15/2008 9:08:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

IMO.. the 'name calling' is aimed at the people that want to (as RM said) pillory those who post about more extreme stuff.


I know that this occasionally happens from some siren wielding "OMG your not being safe!!!! I am calling the BDSM police on you!" ignoramous.

However, I also see the elitest attitude of "If you don't place as rough as me, if you are not as bad as me.....your not real and true, get the fuck away from me!" crap an awful lot.

Neither is acceptable. However, I see nothing wrong with telling either of them that their attitudes suck green rotting swamp water.

I have the capacity to do, and have done, some pretty extreme stuff in my day. There are also some things that I will not do that others do not see as extreme, just because they either do not interest me or gross me out on some level.

The difference is I am not going to say I am better or worse than anyone that either will not do what I will, or does things I won't do. That is the part I find wrong. I also think it's wrong to defend bad behaviour with other bad behaviour, or as an excuse for it.



ResidentSadist -> RE: The "Ubers" (8/15/2008 9:11:50 AM)

Anyone who posts anything is guilty of shouting “look at me” including you and this troll bait thread you cooked up.  I can only hope when I grow up, your finger is pointed at me with comments like this. 
It is old school protocol to help newcomers into the lifestyle because in keeps our ranks full and community alive… despite the more noble sounding and altruistic BS that it is because of our kind hearted nature help one another.  So mentoring noobs you don’t plan to fuck is part of the old school credo.  Hence the reason you see some of us on these very forums. 


“You just gotta get out there and live. Like Nike says "Just do it". Throw all caution to the wind and find the most extreme person you can....nope…”
You call say the ubers call people pussies?  You bet your ass they do.  How does this post of yours educate someone and help someone into the lifestyle?  You can bet your ass its “get out there and just do it”… did you read this thread? 

First Social

I am sure dreamofthemoon is proud to be a soft and beautiful guppy/butterfly/kitten.  I bet she thinks guppies and kittens are cute instead of getting some psychotic personalized emotional response to being honest about what breed she is.  She submits (keyword here) to the fact she is a fluffy noob and gets along fine with uber types instead of trying to compete with them in a twisted battle of wits or teach them.  She met Asian Master who is one of those uber Doms that is behind the scenes, helping organizing munches, parties and other events that help noobs into the lifestyle like his fellow uber Doms do.  The rest of you pretty goldfish/sparrows/puppies should follow suit.  But remember, to get along with ubers like dream does, you actually have to be polite, and well mannered.  Some people with competitive ego complexes think being polite is submissive and they don’t like being called submissive by anyone other than themselves any more than they like calling a gentleman sir.



GreedyTop -> RE: The "Ubers" (8/15/2008 9:12:04 AM)

fair enough, LaT..
If erin's post here was spurred by the post that I think it was, all I can say is that I saw it more as a personal manifesto than a condemnation of others.



Maxwell67 -> RE: The "Ubers" (8/15/2008 9:15:34 AM)

I have some very hardcore fantasies, but I am not out to make them all reality.  That would get me a long and well deserved prison sentence.  I am only as intense as Mine can handle, and not a whit more (though she can handle more than she realizes.. showing her that is part of the fun).  It works for us.  Could I be more intense?  Sure.  But that is not what this play is about for us. 

Yes, I play safely.  I am interested more in the well-being of Mine than in putting her through hell.  Maybe ther are others who want to say that makes what I do somehow 'less uber' but I am not going to start being reckless just because some other dominant wants to play chicken with his sub's life.  Then again, I am not going to judge anyone elses kink either.  If both parties are in it as informed consenting adults, then I have no problems with whatever deadly games they decide to play, as long as they do not affect me and Mine.

That being said, there is nothing wrong with a bit of shameless self-promotion once and again.  There are a lot of us D types that like to strut and posture and such, and that is the natural way of things.. Yeah, we roar and beat our breasts.  We like to make noise and attract attention and show that we have the most elegant (or scarey) plumage on the block.  What is your point?  I am not going to say I am "uber" anything but when the parade starts I am not going to keep my beautiful float in the garage either.



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