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IvyMorgan -> RE: The "Ubers" (8/15/2008 6:57:49 PM)
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A thought on the word "level"...
I think there are "levels" of play. I think most people would agree that a single tail is more extreme than a clothespin, and so of a higher "level". Similarly, sticking needles in people is more extreme again. There's a little continum going on there. Where all the activities get placed on that line is up for discussion (is scat more, or less, extreme than needles?) and probably subjective (for me, less, for others, more). But the general principle still stands, you can say "X is more extreme than Y" and have people bradly generally agree with you.
I think therefore, it's perfectly fine to say, "I am a fairly heavy player, I like X,Y and Z". These being "higher level" activities than certain others. It doesn't mean you don't *also* like the clothespin.
There is, on the flip side, nothing wrong with saying, "I love that you love blood play, but that's way too out there for me, I'm a much less heavy player than you." There is no value judgement either on you as a person, or as a player, for making that statement. Because you have decided where on that contimum of play you fall, does not make you any better or worse than someone who falls somewhere else.
It just means that you're probably not as compatible for a play relationship as people who fall in a completely different place to you. Possibly.
I think we can talk of "levels" of play, sadsism, masochism, dominance, submission etc and not attach value judgements to those "levels". I think many people do do this. They say, "I like *** play" and it's just a statement about them, and not about anyone who doesn't. They don't imply that if you don't like *** play, you aren't as *good* as them, or you are inferior, just different.
I think we just need to be a bit more grown up about it.
Ivy, who is curious about eels, is forced to draw a line at drawing blood, is turned on by scat, and has "eating prawns" as a hard limit.
[mod edit]
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