RE: Positive reinforcement--do you need and/or want it?

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RE: Positive reinforcement--do you need and/or want it? - 8/20/2008 5:42:23 AM

marieToo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

It has a lot of value-but loses something if it's only given for mundane things anyone would to as a matter of course.

I agree with this summation.

For me, the value of positive reinforcement would be completely lost if I received it all the time, or for mundane things.

Personally, I do better when the positive reinforcement is a little bit scarce, or when I've actually worked to earn it. It makes me strive harder that way, and it lights me up even more when I do get it. I think if he was giving me a "good girl, I'm proud of you" every other day, I'd start to roll my eyes.

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RE: Positive reinforcement--do you need and/or want it? - 8/20/2008 7:22:45 AM

kyraofMists

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Yes, I very much want and enjoy positive reinforcement.

I do not need it in order to be fulfilled. I need it in order to know if I need to make any changes in my behavior or if what I am doing is just right.

I am fulfilled in my relationship because it allows and encourages me to be exactly who I am.

Knight's Kyra

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RE: Positive reinforcement--do you need and/or want it? - 8/20/2008 10:59:55 AM

littleone35

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I don't need it beucause Our relationship is fulillfing enough the extra praise would not make a difference
That being said do i want it? Oh yeah and Master gives me praise.

It is not a need but a want.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Positive reinforcement--do you need and/or want it? - 8/20/2008 11:12:09 AM

IrishMist

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quote:

In your relationship with your Dom/Master/Domme/Mistress do you want to receive positive reinforcement

In my past relationship...No, I did not want it

quote:

Do you need to receive positive reinforcement for the relastionship to be fulfilling for you?

Again the answer is no; I did not need it either.

quote:

If you do not get any positive reinforcement how to you find fulfillment in your relationship?

I was given the chance to finally be me; without fear of the consequences. That was more fulfilling than being told how 'good' I was or how 'good a job' I was doing.

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RE: Positive reinforcement--do you need and/or want it? - 8/20/2008 11:36:45 AM

girlivy

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for this one, it is a need, to both give and recieve ......it helps keep the circle going, feeding off the energy, growing in a positive direction together... the laws of attraction, and being a product of your environment comes to mind here....

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RE: Positive reinforcement--do you need and/or want it? - 8/20/2008 2:15:05 PM

TheTXRanch

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The question is often posed when first talking to someone in the lifestyle... "what are you kinks?" For me the answer is simple..."pleasing my Master". I've been called a chameleon because I other than a few hard limits, my Master's kinks become my kinks. I have had the opportunity to experience a wide variety of kinks and the most enjoyable for me have always been the one that really excites my current Master. So the answer is... yes, I crave the positive reinforcement, because when I mess up there is no one harder on me than me.

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RE: Positive reinforcement--do you need and/or want it? - 8/20/2008 4:09:04 PM

softness

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I dont always want to be told thankyou, and told well done, and praised.
but I do need it ... sometimes I need to be made to hear it, and not just be present when it is said ... there is a difference

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RE: Positive reinforcement--do you need and/or want it? - 8/20/2008 4:28:29 PM

sambamanslilgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DelightnDevotion

In your relationship with your Dom/Master/Domme/Mistress do you want to receive positive reinforcement?

no i don't however Daddy does it anyway to show how much he cares. i have received praises and small gifts/allowances.

quote:

Do you need to receive positive reinforcement for the relastionship to be fulfilling for you?

i do fine without it. it's like my band/music reviews, i let my good reporting and observation speak for me. it's all about the bands

quote:

If you do not get any positive reinforcement how to you find fulfillment in your relationship?

knowing that Daddy takes prides in what i've accomplished in a short time with Him ...knowing that He's proud of me

actually, i'm the one giving Him positive feedback each time thanking for all He has done for me.

.

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RE: Positive reinforcement--do you need and/or want it? - 8/21/2008 11:59:04 PM

atypicalsub

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When my former relationship was struggling to survive she finaly told me that, "you don't thank people for doing what they are expected to do". What that translated to was that whenever another responsibility got added to what she expected of me, she would no longer show any appreciation for the work getting done. The more I did, the more she expected of me, and the less positive reinforcement I received for it. Eventualy it got to the point where I was expected to do more than I could handle and she saw no reason to thank me for any of it.

In my current situation I receive a lot of positive reinforcement, and the more encouragement I get the more I want to please. Just hearing Mistress say 'good boi' makes me light up and squirm. When she runs her fingers through my hair I just purr. She knows she can then ask me anything. Most of my limits have been quickly melted away by a few kind words and gentle strokes. I may not always be eager for what she asks of me, but afterward when she says, 'my sweet boi' then suddenly it was all worth it. When she actualy bragged about me to another Domme I was soaring for days!

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RE: Positive reinforcement--do you need and/or want it? - 8/22/2008 2:01:33 AM

pinnipedster

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I certainly want the occasional positive reinforcement -- hey, what can I say, I'm insecure. There would be no greater real punishment for me than for a Domme to leave me not knowing if my actions were pleasing her or not.

Of course, what comprises "positive" reinforcement in a BDSM relationship may be non-standard. A certain kind of smack on the ass, or being allowed to kiss her feet or act as her footrest, or getting to spend an hour or two caged or bound in a good position, might be much more effective than a pat on the head.....(though a pat on the head, or better still, a scritch and ruffling of the hair, is awfully nice....)

And I love being told "good girl" too -- at least if she's letting me be a girl. :)

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RE: Positive reinforcement--do you need and/or want it? - 8/22/2008 4:45:56 PM

mimkyodar

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To original topic:

Yes.

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RE: Positive reinforcement--do you need and/or want it? - 8/22/2008 5:23:34 PM

katie978

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~Fast reply~

The best reward/positive reinforcement I can get it his continued presence and obvious physical pleasure. Everything else is just icing.

However, 'cause of the way my brain works, I can accept different types of positive reinforcement. For example, if someone shows me how to do it, then, after I do it properly, they give me lots of nit-picky little details to fix, I'll interpret this as it was meant to be interpreted: "You are very smart and good and did what you're told, I know now that you're smart enough to do it even better." I don't necessarily need it spelled out.

< Message edited by katie978 -- 8/22/2008 5:28:10 PM >

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RE: Positive reinforcement--do you need and/or want it? - 8/22/2008 5:41:08 PM

charlie63

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He is not overly demonstrative, so when He gives me praise I know it is heartfelt and it means the world to me. Knowing He is pleased with me motivates me like nothing else could. The positive feedback feeds my affection and desire to please. A sharp word or reprimand to let me know He's displeased also motivates me. The balance of the two works really well for me.

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RE: Positive reinforcement--do you need and/or want it? - 8/23/2008 6:22:57 PM

Daddyssweetpea

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Positive reinforcement is essential to me. Nothing makes me happier than pleasing Daddy. When he tells me that i'm a good girl, i am on top of the world. when he tells me i am in need of discipline, i feel very small, but also glad that Daddy gives me the means to be back in his good graces.

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