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Being Busy!! - 8/20/2008 7:05:56 AM

KnightofMists

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Life is busy for most of us if not all. I don't relax well... sitting back on the beach enjoying the rays sounds nice in theory.. in practice... I last about 15-20 minutes and then I get figety. My way to relax is actually to being busy. I have been on holidays for the past 10 days. Most of the time I have spent finishing up my dungeon (re did the walls, wood paneling, built a couple shelves, laid a floor mat and afew other things) Next few days I am going to move a furniture around in the house... setting up the TV room downstairs and sitting room upstairs.

In my spare time from being busy... I am calling my boss. Finding out what is going on at work and making sure everything is going well and yeah... dealing with a few minor issues as well. This morning.. He's picking me up for coffee and we will deal with a few issues.

All this is very relaxing for me. It is because this is what I am Choosing to Do! I have found that when my time is govnered by others that I actually become Stressed! I suppose this is aspect of my Dominant nature. Wanting to make my choices of how I spend my time. Granted... I don't like to be idle. I am sure alot of Dominants are more than capable of being Idle.. I also expect their is alot of submissives that don't like to be idle either. For me the crux is who is making the choices on how you spend your time... be it relaxing or a busy bee!

So... Doesn't this mean submissives get less stressed when their time is governed by their Dominants. In theory.. maybe.. I suspect in practice for many they are like me. But I expect there are some that absolutely love it when their Dominant governs their time. What about Dominants.... do you find it stressful when someone else is governering your time?

So... are you busy.. can you relax? does it stress you when others dictate your time? or do you find it relaxing and enjoyable? What happens to you?

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

Post #: 1

RE: Being Busy!! - 8/20/2008 7:30:33 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
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quote:

I have been on holidays for the past 10 days.

I truly wish sometimes i could say this or something similar.

I run a pub, live in. I have only been here four weeks and its a shambles it really is. The downstairs bars were in desperate need of redecoration and a good clean, i've done it. The beer garden is overgrown, im in the process of doing it. The living accomodation has no carpets, needs redecorating and i don't even have a kitchen. I'm not kidding, no cooker, no sink etc. Luckily i brought a fridge freezer, a microwave and a tumble dryer. I bought a washing machine last week. I'm in the process of sorting all this out.

On the top of this there is only two members of bar staff here, myself and my live in kind of son lol. So we are both working a shift every single day which varies from between 4 hours to 8 hours plus. I also have paper work which needs to be done every day, line cleans weekly, general cleaning every day and weekly paper work which takes a few hours. On top of that lol my bank is miles away, the nearest supermarket is miles away and it takes nearly a whole day just to bank and shop.

When i do get chance to go away for a couple of days after arranging delieveries, a manager, staff etc etc i still have to deal with running the business from the end of the phone. Take this weekend for example i was away a total of one and a half days and i must have had ten / twenty phone calls to deal with. I basically do not get a holiday full stop.

Buttttttttttt i choose to do this and i love it.

quote:

So... Doesn't this mean submissives get less stressed when their time is governed by their Dominants. In theory.. maybe.. I suspect in practice for many they are like me.

I get stressed if unreasonable amounts of my time is governed.

quote:

But I expect there are some that absolutely love it when their Dominant governs their time.

Hell yes i love it.

quote:

So... are you busy.. can you relax?

Hell yes i'm busy.
And yes i relax working hard. Being idle sends me loopy.

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RE: Being Busy!! - 8/20/2008 7:31:45 AM

UR2Badored

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It is very difficult for my body to relax even when I lie down to go to sleep. For me, it is not a question of being idle or busy, rarely is my body is in a relax state and there are consequences to this. However, my mind can be content or peaceful while busy or my time being governed if that makes any sense.

< Message edited by UR2Badored -- 8/20/2008 7:35:54 AM >

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RE: Being Busy!! - 8/20/2008 7:31:47 AM

sub4hire

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
So... are you busy.. can you relax? does it stress you when others dictate your time? or do you find it relaxing and enjoyable? What happens to you?

For me relaxing is a few good friends in the hot tub and intellectual discussion. If there is no one around...its quiet time outside when I can hear all the animals. Time to think.
I make time to relax. It does not stress me when others dictate my time because it is only one other who does in my off time.

I have been the boss for years at work. Always the one in control. When I come home, I'm not. So that alone is refreshing having someone tell me what to do.

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RE: Being Busy!! - 8/20/2008 7:38:33 AM

leadership527

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Yes, I govern my girl's time... pretty much totally although certainly not in a micro-management sort of way. She likes it in general but obviously, likes it less if I'm not "on the ball" regarding her needs and moods.

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RE: Being Busy!! - 8/20/2008 7:48:26 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
What about Dominants.... do you find it stressful when someone else is governering your time?

So... are you busy.. can you relax? does it stress you when others dictate your time? or do you find it relaxing and enjoyable? What happens to you?

I CAN relax, I just dont get to often. I hate when someone else calls the shots on what I do with my free time. For me, a vacation has to involve more than sitting around the pool or I will go bonkers. Even when I was younger, when Mom and Dad were content to sit around, I was walking out to the library not far from our vacation villas to find something to do.
My ideal vacation is equal parts time to sleep in (or nap) and things to keep busy. Angel and I go to amusement parks. Fox and I do as well, and we visit friends or go to the zoo... never just sit around when we have the time to do something else.
I relax when I can spend time with the boys doing anything but work. Amusement parks, parks in general, photo shots with Fox, Church with Angel... thats my relaxation.

DV

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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
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VampiresLair

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RE: Being Busy!! - 8/20/2008 8:00:39 AM

CreativeDominant

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I guess I come at this in a different way. Or perhaps I am just expressing it differently.

Before my ex and I divorced, my practice was extremely busy. I saw from 80 - 90 patient visits a week and had 3 girls working for me, one full-time and two part-time. During and after the divorce, my ex outed me, resulting in a drop off from 80-90 visits a week down to 30. I had to let the girls go and I had to begin rebuilding my practice while, at the same time, rebuilding my relationship with my ums who had found out more about Dad than I ever wanted them to know. This resulted in me being extremely busy and no, I did not want anyone calling the shots. But during this last 9 years what I have found is this...if I do not take time to step away, if I do not take time to just sit sometimes and read my books or add additional writing to my own stories or experiment with my airbrushing or meditate, then I begin to feel the stress. I was in the hospital 5 years ago for heart palpitations and when the doctor asked what I did to relax, I just looked at him and tried running the spiel of "I relax...BUT I need to rebuild my practice, I need to stay on top of the billing, I...I...I..." and he told me "that's all well and good. But when would you like to die...sooner or later?" I got the point. Now, I have rebuilt my practice to where I see 65-70 visits a week and am aiming for 70-80. I'll get there. I do most of my own billing and my sister-in-law handles the books. I work long hours but I take time at the end of the day to watch something I really enjoy, to speak with friends, to listen to music, to airbrush or pinstripe. I occasionally take a full weekend off and I occasionally lecture on weekends.

In short, I have found the difference in being idle wherein nothing is accomplished and being idle in which nothing of import other than the joy it gives me and/or others.

< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 8/20/2008 8:02:19 AM >

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RE: Being Busy!! - 8/20/2008 8:06:33 AM

heartfeltsub

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Coming from the s-type perspective, at least for me, i never used to be able to relax or rest. i constantly felt like if i wasn't doing for someone else i was being a slackard or not doing my "job" and i didn't know how to rest, mostly because i never felt like i was doing good enough, so there was always more that i could be doing or rather should be doing. Although my marriage wasn't D/s per se, i was submissive to my husband and he taught me how to relax, which frankly was very frustrating at times because of the lack of self worth thing that was "forcing" a lot of my activity. Now i can relax, i know that i don't have to be constantly proving my worth and value. So now the only thing that frustrates me is when the D-types that i deal with aren't punctual. i find that frustrating because i am, to use my mother's description, "annoyingly punctual." Otherwise i don't have an issue that my time is not my own when dealing with the Dominants that i serve. In fact others have noted that i am good with the whole concept of "they also serve who only stand and wait", but that is only because of my ex-husband teaching me how to relax.

In fact my ideal vacation is to sit in a float in a pool with a bunch of books and a drink. i absolutely love that. And when i go on vacation with people who want to fill the whole vacation time with activities, i find the vacation more like work.
heartfelt

< Message edited by heartfeltsub -- 8/20/2008 8:19:08 AM >

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RE: Being Busy!! - 8/20/2008 8:17:23 AM

impishlilhellcat

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I'm so used to being busy. While I was in grad school I was working usually 12 hour days, studying, and then coming home and trying to maintain a social life usually ending up spending time with the dogs... i.e training classes, walks things like that. I've recently had a month long vacation and I am losing my mind. I don't know what to do with myself. My mom (whom I'm staying with at the moment loves it) I've been cooking , cleaning, landscaping, digging the holes for the fence post, and general yard labor constantly.

My way of relaxing was up until recently due to the change in location was going to boxing class two times a week and the Y. Hopefully I'll get back to the Y soon.

When I'm really stressed having someone else dictate my time is really hard for me to handle. I feel the need maintain control when I feel like my world is spinning out of control or I'm just stressed time wise... More often than not though since I tend to be a little ADD meaning I do several things at once and often have many projects started, many different books I'm reading all at one time it's nice to have someone help me prioritize or to get organized or even someone to say Focus.

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Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book - Unknown

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RE: Being Busy!! - 8/20/2008 9:52:40 AM

Dnomyar

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Hi Impy. Nice to see you again. Congrads on your finishing school.

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RE: Being Busy!! - 8/20/2008 10:13:21 AM

impishlilhellcat

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Thanks Dnomyar!

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RE: Being Busy!! - 8/20/2008 10:18:42 AM

Dnomyar

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Give me a fishing pole and a place to fish or my rifle and woods to hunt in. I don't care if I catch or shoot anything. Being outdoors sorting out my thoughts is all that matters.

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RE: Being Busy!! - 8/20/2008 10:32:14 AM

Lynnxz

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From: Atlanta
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I like my job. I've gone from working my ass off in retail and restraunts- and having crap to show for it, to being able to work when I want, for who I want. I take care of everything myself, and it's great. However, if I have nothing else to do besides work, I think I might lose my mind.

Soo... I fill my time up with 'volunteer' work- a bit for the Humane society around here (Fix your #$%^& cats ppl) and a lot for a haunted house in the area- that place is my baby.

On a side note.... Misst- what's a beer garden? O.o

And yes, I get very stressed when people dictate my time. I know one person in particular who I used to play around with occasionally. He'd try to take things to the next level- sending me texts to call him RIGHT NOW! and demanding that I make the drive over to see him. It irked me to the point where I don't contact him anymore.

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RE: Being Busy!! - 8/20/2008 10:41:24 AM

IrishMist

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I have never been able to relax; too much energy running around inside. Even on vacations I can say with honesty that I have never relaxed enough to enjoy them...boredom inevitably sets in and once that happens, I go looking for trouble

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RE: Being Busy!! - 8/20/2008 11:45:49 AM

subtee

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If you need a rest, head on over to the "Sexually Disconnected Doms" thread; that'll put you in a coma by page 47...

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Don't believe everything you think...

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RE: Being Busy!! - 8/20/2008 11:54:45 AM

KatyLied

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quote:

If you need a rest, head on over to the "Sexually Disconnected Doms" thread; that'll put you in a coma by page 47...

It should be subtitled: The BJ, on which date should you gift it?

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RE: Being Busy!! - 8/20/2008 11:55:48 AM

ShiftedJewel

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We spent the largest part of Scooters last vacation working around the house and yard. We actually got a lot done. I know it doesn't sound like much of a vacation but we got to sleep in, stay up late and do what we wanted to do. Going someplace for a vacation is a lot of work!!

How do I relax? Well, I've discovered that if I stop for any length of time I tend to fall asleep... that's real irritating. I play with my beads, or sew, in cold weather I work on my cross stitching or crochet. Or I work on the house, painting, mudding.. that sort of thing. Drywall mudding is actually like a zen thing to me.

Jewel

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RE: Being Busy!! - 8/20/2008 12:01:32 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

What about Dominants.... do you find it stressful when someone else is governering your time?

So... are you busy.. can you relax? does it stress you when others dictate your time? or do you find it relaxing and enjoyable? What happens to you?

One of my -least- favorite things about being back in the corporate world is having to answer to someone else for my time (and my location--not being able to choose WHERE I work and HOW I work makes for major work stress!)

That being said, I'm happiest when I'm busy, but because of my health, I have to make sure that I relax on a regular basis -- for myself, I read fiction to relax. I take on a lot of projects, and am happiest when there is a lot going on to keep my mind busy (otherwise, I lay around with "high head syndrome" and have trouble shutting my brain off at the end of the day.)

CFB

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***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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RE: Being Busy!! - 8/20/2008 12:05:28 PM

subtee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied
It should be subtitled: The BJ, on which date should you gift it?

LOL - literally

"Dom Dating for Dummies"
"The Idiot's Guide to 'It's Better to Give than to Receive'"

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Don't believe everything you think...

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RE: Being Busy!! - 8/20/2008 12:39:26 PM

batshalom

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

So... are you busy.. can you relax? does it stress you when others dictate your time? or do you find it relaxing and enjoyable? What happens to you?

I manage my time much better when I have many things to do but I am also a very talented procrastinator, so I tend to stress myself out. I don't like having nothing to do either, however - I get antsy and borderline churlish. The only time I relax and do nothing well is when I have a couple of hours to nap. In other words, to relax with nothing to do, I have to be unconscious.

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