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RE: What's with all of the lectures in the chat rooms? - 8/21/2008 7:18:15 AM

findingherway

Posts: 2
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

This is called Domestic Violence...which this lifestyle has no place for it..nor the vanilla
world. Had I been the one hit...His ass would have been confined behind bars. Thinks
any professed Dominant that cannot control His anger..need not be in this life..

(in reply to VirginPotty)

Post #: 41

RE: What's with all of the lectures in the chat rooms? - 8/21/2008 8:10:37 AM

CruelDesires

Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

To the OP.

Seriously? Its also about the fact that you lost control with someone who you were just playing with and with whom you had no emotional investment with. Do you wonder why people are so dismayed with your behavior that they are all lambasting you? Now take that one step further. What if you got angry at someone you DID have some emotional investment with. Someone you are in a relationship with so your emotions are more personal and have more depth. What you posted in such a cavalier fashion about your self raises a red flag to anyone who has been around for a while. Ergo the lectures and long responses that you have received so far. Deal with it.

C-D

_____________________________

Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.
Lois McMaster Bujold, "A Civil Campaign", 1999

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 42

RE: What's with all of the lectures in the chat rooms? - 8/21/2008 8:14:33 AM

rookey

Posts: 100
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Draythos
Last night I admitted to hitting a slave out of anger. I told the situation which is as follows:

She was a bitchy bottom, I told her I would not tolerate it, we singed a playlist stating that she would not do it but, she did it anyway so, I felt disrespected and lost my cool and punched her ass (literally). We appolagized to each other, her for doing what she contracted Not to do and me for hitting her. We haven't played together sense (it's been over a year).

You admit you made a bad choice and that you should have exercised better judgement. It sounds perhaps as though you're learned your lesson and have moved on. Or are at least trying to.

quote:

One of the more "experienced" Tops and an "exprienced" bottom gave me a 30 minute lecture because of it. If I wanted a good lecture, I would have gone to Harvard. OK, you "experienced" players my know more than some of the others but, you don't know everything and that does NOT give you the right to badger, patrinize and /or challenge (that's what made me her) others that are not as "experiencd" as you. I'm sure you've made mistakes, too. So, make your comments short, sweet and to the point.

Judging by this, plenty here on CM regard what you did as unforgiveable, hence the long lectures as you see it. I suspect there is an implication said folks may not want to know you. Perhaps they've been on the receiving end of something similarly unpleasant and find it hard to be sympathetic.

What I've written here is speculative stuff, I don't know all the hard facts because I wasn't in the chat room at the time. Hence my guarded comments.

That said, in this thread you come across though you're liable to blow your top given enough 'rabbit' from other people. The only way I can see to defuse this is either to just walk away from the long lectures or ask folks why they're giving you the lessons you say you've already learnt. What are they trying to achieve?

Another point is, how can you move on if others won't let you? Maybe it is a case of folks thinking you're bad news, good bye.

You're being honest about what happened should prevent a repeat performance; either someone getting into a relationship with you will know the pifalls upfront and so will take care to avoid them. Failing this they will avoid you altogether.

Any relationship is a potential minefield and having a map of where all the mines are goes a long way to avoid stepping on them. Hence the value of being honest upfront.

_____________________________

(in reply to Draythos)

Post #: 43

RE: What's with all of the lectures in the chat rooms? - 8/21/2008 8:17:26 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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How could any exchange of any sort go on for 30 minutes unless you were party to it?

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to rookey)

Post #: 44

RE: What's with all of the lectures in the chat rooms? - 8/21/2008 8:48:35 AM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

you hit a girl in a chat room?

that is the same as hitting a girl in real life....though if you did that in real life you would now be in jail or atleast charged with abuse.

this is why it is a serious matter even in a chat room.

_____________________________

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I am flawed.

Imperfect.

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SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 45

RE: What's with all of the lectures in the chat rooms? - 8/21/2008 8:53:56 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Draythos
make your comments short, sweet and to the point.

You are trying to control how others post, how they should respond, what they should feel about your actions, etc. Put stuff out there and take what others dish back, or don't post. Maybe like you lost you cool and punched that girl others here lost their cool hearing what you did and verbally punched you - doesn't feel so hot does it?

< Message edited by velvetears -- 8/21/2008 8:54:23 AM >

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to Draythos)

Post #: 46

RE: What's with all of the lectures in the chat rooms? - 8/21/2008 9:12:40 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Is it ok for a woman to hit a man???

(in reply to velvetears)

Post #: 47

RE: What's with all of the lectures in the chat rooms? - 8/21/2008 9:13:24 AM

FlamingRedhead

Posts: 451
Joined: 3/4/2007
From: Georgia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Draythos

By bitchy I mean she continuosly challenged me, she was greedy, always wanted more than I could give her.

Umm...okay.....so you HIT her because dominating her was TOO FRIGGIN HARD?!? I'd die laughing right now if it was funny. What IS funny is that now you tell them to leave....which tells me you're still not a successful dominant.....and then get your boxers in a twist when experienced people (the bastards!!!!) try to teach you something. ha ha ha ha ha ha

*pictures a scene from Oliver*

"Please, sir, can I have some more?"

"WHAT?!?"

_____________________________

I'm so addicted to
All the things you do
When you're going down on me
In between the sheets
Or the sound you make
With every breath you take
It's unlike anything
When you're loving me

(in reply to Draythos)

Post #: 48

RE: What's with all of the lectures in the chat rooms? - 8/21/2008 9:16:49 AM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FlamingRedhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: Draythos

By bitchy I mean she continuosly challenged me, she was greedy, always wanted more than I could give her.

Umm...okay.....so you HIT her because dominating her was TOO FRIGGIN HARD?!? I'd die laughing right now if it was funny. What IS funny is that now you tell them to leave....which tells me you're still not a successful dominant.....and then get your boxers in a twist when experienced people (the bastards!!!!) try to teach you something. ha ha ha ha ha ha

*pictures a scene from Oliver*

"Please, sir, can I have some more?"

"WHAT?!?"

Excellent reply

_____________________________

Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Life is either a great adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller

50 NZ points

(in reply to FlamingRedhead)

Post #: 49

RE: What's with all of the lectures in the chat rooms? - 8/21/2008 9:30:16 AM

quickened

Posts: 20
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

*Insert Jaws music here*

C-D

Or perhpas Turkey in the Straw?

(in reply to CruelDesires)

Post #: 50

RE: What's with all of the lectures in the chat rooms? - 8/21/2008 9:31:23 AM

Satyr6406

Posts: 820
Joined: 3/27/2006
From: New Brunswick, N.J.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

you hit a girl in a chat room?

that is the same as hitting a girl in real life....though if you did that in real life you would now be in jail or atleast charged with abuse.

this is why it is a serious matter even in a chat room.

I apologize for the hijack but, are you equating chatrooms with real life? Seriously?

Peace and comfort,

Michael

_____________________________

Peace and comfort,

Michael

Former Vice-President Gore didn't invent the internet but, he DID make up global warming!

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 51

RE: What's with all of the lectures in the chat rooms? - 8/21/2008 9:35:50 AM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

quote:

I apologize for the hijack but, are you equating chatrooms with real life? Seriously?

why do you think the fbi always takes computers home from a crime scene...because the same shit happens in chat rooms that does in the real world and it can be used as evidence.

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to Satyr6406)

Post #: 52

RE: What's with all of the lectures in the chat rooms? - 8/21/2008 9:43:28 AM

Satyr6406

Posts: 820
Joined: 3/27/2006
From: New Brunswick, N.J.
Status: offline

Well, actually, while your assertion that people may have evidence of their real life behavior on their computer is correct. I would remind you the FBI agents, like many of us, need to justify their salaries and their job is to find crime, everywhere ('cause that's how the government likes us; ALL criminals. Don't believe me? Read the PATRIOT act).

I canNOT physically abuse you, in a chat room. I canNOT do a lot of things to you in a chat room. You have a choice to be there or not. Chat rooms are NOT real life.

So, what you're saying is; if I came into a chat room where you are and typed: *smacks faerytattoodgirl in the face and throws her down and rapes her* I'm guilty of a CRIME? Puh-lease! I may be guilty of being a complete asshole but, that isn't criminal behavior (yet).

Peace and comfort,

Michael

_____________________________

Peace and comfort,

Michael

Former Vice-President Gore didn't invent the internet but, he DID make up global warming!

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 53

RE: What's with all of the lectures in the chat rooms? - 8/21/2008 9:54:13 AM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

fact remains the fbi and other agencies are all over chat rooms watching this kind of behavior and catching criminals.

mental abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. chat room=mental. its not just words on a screen. it can really hurt someone.

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to Satyr6406)

Post #: 54

RE: What's with all of the lectures in the chat rooms? - 8/21/2008 9:55:45 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Satyr6406
So, what you're saying is; if I came into a chat room where you are and typed: *smacks faerytattoodgirl in the face and throws her down and rapes her* I'm guilty of a CRIME? Puh-lease! I may be guilty of being a complete asshole but, that isn't criminal behavior (yet).

I think she was yanking your chain....but it did remind me of something that happened a couple of years ago. My girlfriend got a phone call from a newbie that she had offered to help out with any questions she might have. One night this newbie called her crying hysterically. She told my friend she had been gang raped and now feared she may be pregnant. Well, my friend frantically rushed to her aid....only to find out the whole thing took place in a chat room. Believe it or not that's a true story.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Satyr6406)

Post #: 55

RE: What's with all of the lectures in the chat rooms? - 8/21/2008 9:57:02 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

fact remains the fbi and other agencies are all over chat rooms watching this kind of behavior and catching criminals.

mental abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. chat room=mental. its not just words on a screen. it can really hurt someone.

Then again....maybe she wasn't yanking your chain.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 56

RE: What's with all of the lectures in the chat rooms? - 8/21/2008 9:57:24 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

This is called Domestic Violence..

Chatroom domestic violence? This is some funny stuff.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to findingherway)

Post #: 57

RE: What's with all of the lectures in the chat rooms? - 8/21/2008 9:59:07 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

This is called Domestic Violence..

Chatroom domestic violence? This is some funny stuff.

Noooooo Katy....the violence didn't happen in the chat room....he was telling people in the chatroom about the violence he inflicted on his girlfriend.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 58

RE: What's with all of the lectures in the chat rooms? - 8/21/2008 10:00:56 AM

Satyr6406

Posts: 820
Joined: 3/27/2006
From: New Brunswick, N.J.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

fact remains the fbi and other agencies are all over chat rooms watching this kind of behavior and catching criminals.

mental abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. chat room=mental. its not just words on a screen. it can really hurt someone.

People need a little thicker skin when it comes to words, anyway but, having said that; chat rooms are NOTHING BUT "words on a screen" until someone ACTS THEM OUT.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: Satyr6406
So, what you're saying is; if I came into a chat room where you are and typed: *smacks faerytattoodgirl in the face and throws her down and rapes her* I'm guilty of a CRIME? Puh-lease! I may be guilty of being a complete asshole but, that isn't criminal behavior (yet).

I think she was yanking your chain....but it did remind me of something that happened a couple of years ago. My girlfriend got a phone call from a newbie that she had offered to help out with any questions she might have. One night this newbie called her crying hysterically. She told my friend she had been gang raped and now feared she may be pregnant. Well, my friend frantically rushed to her aid....only to find out the whole thing took place in a chat room. Believe it or not that's a true story.

That's my point. Your friend's life was "interrupted" (I put it mildly because of the outcome; not the hell I'm sure she was going through, as it was happening) because some person can't differentiate between real life and damned chat room. I pity those folks.

_____________________________

Peace and comfort,

Michael

Former Vice-President Gore didn't invent the internet but, he DID make up global warming!

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 59

RE: What's with all of the lectures in the chat rooms? - 8/21/2008 10:01:45 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

you hit a girl in a chat room?

that is the same as hitting a girl in real life....

i hope she takes a picture of the cyber bruise to use in cyber court

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(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 60

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