RE: Looove???

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Looove???

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Looove???

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Looove??? - 8/22/2008 6:47:35 AM

susie

Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulPiercer

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie
I may be old but how on earth can you even consider saying "I love you" without even meeting someone. It would set off all sorts of alarm bells with me.

Am I the only person here who watches Oprah to learn what goes on inside the male, (and in a lot of cases, the female) brain?

They haven't met .. but he says "I love you"..

The romantic notion is .. "He's in love with the idea of you".

The reality is - He knows .. as long he keeps saying "I love you", you'll keep hanging around waiting for him to take his jammies off and get out from behind the keyboard.

Cynical? Yes. Based on the sad reality of the way a great many people behave? Another yes.

Jeesh you mean something actually goes on in the male brain? Well you learn something new every day.

(in reply to SoulPiercer)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Looove??? - 8/22/2008 10:12:13 AM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulPiercer

Am I the only person here who watches Oprah to learn what goes on inside the male, (and in a lot of cases, the female) brain?

They haven't met .. but he says "I love you"..

The romantic notion is .. "He's in love with the idea of you".

The reality is - He knows .. as long he keeps saying "I love you", you'll keep hanging around waiting for him to take his jammies off and get out from behind the keyboard.

Cynical? Yes. Based on the sad reality of the way a great many people behave? Another yes.

Well said!

_____________________________

HBIC

(in reply to SoulPiercer)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Looove??? - 8/22/2008 10:30:07 AM

Stechinye

Posts: 7
Joined: 8/21/2008
Status: offline

I guess I should have said that our previous attempt at a meeting "didn't work out", it was more like, I had to cancel because of a hurricane.

But what I can't get over is how he won't even listen to talk about D/s anymore....I had a bad experience with a previous Dom just up and dropping off the face of the earth..so I was much more hesitant to give myself over again...
He's got to still have those desires and urges, but he doesn't seem to want to involve me in them anymore..

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Looove??? - 8/22/2008 10:43:24 AM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

Well, obviously he's not a good fit for you anymore, since you don't want to be involved with him that way.

_____________________________

HBIC

(in reply to Stechinye)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Looove??? - 8/22/2008 11:47:31 AM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

Lots of men look for a partner, but don't want to, or are unable to, don't know how to, go through "normal" channels, courtship, stuff. So they use BDSM as a shortcut. I tend to steer well clear from all folks who use shortcuts, but then I don't know what you are looking for, in liiiiiife..

(in reply to Stechinye)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Looove??? - 8/22/2008 12:53:20 PM

E2Sweet

Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stechinye
But what I can't get over is how he won't even listen to talk about D/s anymore...

Hmm, perhaps he had a bad/scary personal experience involving BDSM during the time you were chatting online, and decided BDSM is not for him... The motivation for sudden change could a one or more of several things. Having not ever talked to him personally, all we can really do is speculate based on our own past experiences and what you're (the OP) sharing here.

_____________________________

E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

(in reply to Stechinye)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Looove??? - 8/22/2008 3:37:47 PM

lally3

Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stechinye

So most of us have clear distinctions beteen love and play on this website.
I have met a man who was the typical Dom/Master..not too extremem but definatly perverted.

After we have been in communication for many Months...he nw feels love for me..and has said directly, I loveyou, I don't see you as a sex object or a person to control. I see you as a mate.

Has anyone had an experience similar to this? Enlighten me.

correct me if im wrong, but are you asking if its normal for a D type to announce his love and denounce his kink, that because he loves you he couldnt possibly get kinky with you?

have you asked him if that is what he means.

i have had experience with that, he was kinky as hell, until he one day realised he respected me too deeply to continue - he was a vanilla.

vanillas are kinky too, are you sure youve met a D type - vanillas can get deeply confused by all of this, you might need to talk to him.

_____________________________

even doves have pride (Prince)

(in reply to Stechinye)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Looove??? - 8/22/2008 4:01:36 PM

batshalom

Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulPiercer

Am I the only person here who watches Oprah to learn what goes on inside the male, (and in a lot of cases, the female) brain?

They haven't met .. but he says "I love you"..

The romantic notion is .. "He's in love with the idea of you".

The reality is - He knows .. as long he keeps saying "I love you", you'll keep hanging around waiting for him to take his jammies off and get out from behind the keyboard.

Cynical? Yes. Based on the sad reality of the way a great many people behave? Another yes.

~getting a good chuckle~

I'm going to have to start watching Oprah or start getting you to translate for me.

(in reply to SoulPiercer)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Looove??? - 8/22/2008 6:03:06 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stechinye

So most of us have clear distinctions beteen love and play on this website.
I have met a man who was the typical Dom/Master..not too extremem but definatly perverted.

After we have been in communication for many Months...he nw feels love for me..and has said directly, I loveyou, I don't see you as a sex object or a person to control. I see you as a mate.

Has anyone had an experience similar to this? Enlighten me.

We have had some threads about love getting in the way when the sub is masochistic and the dom is afraid of "hurting" her because he loves her. So it does happen.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to Stechinye)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: Looove??? - 8/22/2008 6:05:20 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stechinye

So most of us have clear distinctions beteen love and play on this website.
I have met a man who was the typical Dom/Master..not too extremem but definatly perverted.

After we have been in communication for many Months...he nw feels love for me..and has said directly, I loveyou, I don't see you as a sex object or a person to control. I see you as a mate.

Has anyone had an experience similar to this? Enlighten me.

We have had some threads about love getting in the way when the sub is masochistic and the dom is afraid of "hurting" her because he loves her. So it does happen.

And I think that a lot of that comes from how "objective" an owner can be, in seperating societal stereotypes from the actual dynamics needed to keep the relationship with such a person solid.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to proudsub)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: Looove??? - 8/22/2008 7:46:10 PM

dodedo

Posts: 48
Joined: 11/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I have to see someone as long term useful to define them as a possible "mate".

And *I* have to try them out long term before deciding whether or not I would want them as a mate..

Personally, the "Love" line has been a deal breaker with me before. I've literally cancelled meetings due to someone telling me that they were in love with me before they met me. It speaks of insincerity to me.

Additionally, what happens if he's chatting with someone else down the line, and that magical connection happens with them through IM's and webcam and he realizes THEY'RE the one? I don't trust anyone who can fall in love over a computer.

(in reply to Leatherist)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: Looove??? - 8/22/2008 8:57:08 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

I think the term "in love with love" has been mentioned more than once in these forums.

I see it continually in profiles, "The ONE who will *complete*" me...."

The fantastical neediness of it makes me throw up in my mouth a little every time I come across it. No one deserves to be objectified into someone's "perfect" fantasy construct.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to dodedo)

Profile

Post #: 32

RE: Looove??? - 8/22/2008 10:53:27 PM

Stechinye

Posts: 7
Joined: 8/21/2008
Status: offline

DoDeDo...
I love your honesty, Thnk you for it.

On a completly unrelated subject..
DOes it mak any of ya'll uncomfortable when someone types "I love u" as opposed to "I love you"
Maybe that's just semantics...

(in reply to Leatherist)

Profile

Post #: 33

RE: Looove??? - 8/22/2008 10:59:33 PM

Emperor1956

Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Lynnxz: Personally, I try to wait at least until I've met the guy before the L word. O.o

You are SO old school.

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Profile

Post #: 34

RE: Looove??? - 8/23/2008 3:28:00 PM

Kobane

Posts: 26
Joined: 8/21/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stechinye

So most of us have clear distinctions beteen love and play on this website.
I have met a man who was the typical Dom/Master..not too extremem but definatly perverted.

After we have been in communication for many Months...he nw feels love for me..and has said directly, I loveyou, I don't see you as a sex object or a person to control. I see you as a mate.

Has anyone had an experience similar to this? Enlighten me.

Clint Eastwood said, "Everyone has a right to be a sucker once."

(in reply to Stechinye)

Profile

Post #: 35

RE: Looove??? - 8/23/2008 3:34:04 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stechinye

On a completly unrelated subject..
DOes it mak any of ya'll uncomfortable when someone types "I love u" as opposed to "I love you"
Maybe that's just semantics...

No that's just spelling.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor
You are SO old school.

E.

I know... I'm getting old and stuff

_____________________________

HBIC

(in reply to Stechinye)

Profile

Post #: 36

RE: Looove??? - 8/23/2008 9:38:47 PM

atypicalsub

Posts: 284
Joined: 4/11/2008
From: an atypical sub
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I think the term "in love with love" has been mentioned more than once in these forums.

I see it continually in profiles, "The ONE who will *complete*" me...."

The fantastical neediness of it makes me throw up in my mouth a little every time I come across it. No one deserves to be objectified into someone's "perfect" fantasy construct.

This only serves to remind me that not everyone means the same thing when they say they are in love with someone. I could not have fallen in love with my Mistress without seeing some of the flaws that made her human.

Also, being in love with someone doesn't always mean you think they are 'the one'. I've always been of a polyamorous mindset so I've never taken seriously the idea that there existed one person who could be everything to me.

_____________________________

Polyamorous, solitary eclectic pagan, pansexual slut, and personal pet of MistressYes

"Do not do anything you are ashamed of, and don't be ashamed of anything you do"
(although I'm sure my bio-family wishes I did less and was ashamed of more)

(in reply to Leatherist)

Profile

Post #: 37

RE: Looove??? - 8/23/2008 9:42:04 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: atypicalsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I think the term "in love with love" has been mentioned more than once in these forums.

I see it continually in profiles, "The ONE who will *complete*" me...."

The fantastical neediness of it makes me throw up in my mouth a little every time I come across it. No one deserves to be objectified into someone's "perfect" fantasy construct.

This only serves to remind me that not everyone means the same thing when they say they are in love with someone. I could not have fallen in love with my Mistress without seeing some of the flaws that made her human.

Also, being in love with someone doesn't always mean you think they are 'the one'. I've always been of a polyamorous mindset so I've never taken seriously the idea that there existed one person who could be everything to me.

My comment was to remind me to avoid getting involved with basket cases.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to atypicalsub)

Profile

Post #: 38

RE: Looove??? - 8/24/2008 8:35:59 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

You can't know anyone over the internet - you can only know what they choose to tell you , and you hope what they tell you is truth. Since no-one is going to tell you over the internet that they fart three times during breakfast every day, and don't use toilet paper, you can only know a very romanticised version of who they are - and romance is very easy to love. After all , its perfect!

For someone to fall in love with a computer image would suggest that they aren't wholely in touch with reality, and all the trials of really living together 24/7. I would suggest a mediocum of caution before throwing my heart into this relationship - the Other might find dirty socks and morning breath to be a deal breaker.

(in reply to Leatherist)

Profile

Post #: 39

RE: Looove??? - 8/24/2008 1:06:32 PM

Sandyshores29718

Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline

*fast reply*
Sir has told me he loves me in the middle of a scene. When I asked him when he first knew he love me he said the very first time we talked on the phone before meeting. Said that he just knew right then and there. I do believe its possible to love someone before meeting them or fall in love with the person you think they are.

(in reply to Leatherist)

Profile

Post #: 40