RE: BDSM & kink

RE: BDSM & kink (Full Version)

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sistermargaret -> RE: BDSM & kink (8/30/2008 9:03:17 AM)
If you force men to jump through hoops for kinky sex-they WILL retaliate in kind when they get the upper hand. Wow. Yes, i can see that happening. It made me giggle. For me, that's what makes BDSM so much fun and why i'll never leave it. It was always like that when i played as a Switch, tho not in a sexual way but with very intense S&M. Now that D/s has arrived with a skilled and wise partner, the retaliation has a whole new twist & shout. sm

WhiplashSmile2 -> RE: BDSM & kink (8/30/2008 12:11:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross I've been wondering if this may be a generational thing- that most people get into this AFTER their vanilla dynamics and so they need to feel a way to distinguish their Ds dynamics from previous vanilla dynamics and so they bind kink and Ds together? On the other hand, I think future generations will be a lot happier to just enjoy the kink without feeling the need to be "serious" about Ds- not that they won't enjoy Ds or Ms dynamics, I just get the feeling we'll have a lot more people content to be bottoms and not peer pressured to be "more" as a sub. Exellently and simply put.

leadership527 -> RE: BDSM & kink (8/30/2008 1:48:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross On the other hand, I think future generations will be a lot happier to just enjoy the kink without feeling the need to be "serious" about Ds- not that they won't enjoy Ds or Ms dynamics, I just get the feeling we'll have a lot more people content to be bottoms and not peer pressured to be "more" as a sub. And, for that matter, a lot more people content to be doms and subs and not be pressured to be "more" as a top or bottom. I have to admit, I'm seriously starting to research where, exactly, the waters got so muddied (obviously long before me). In my historical research, it seems pretty clearly true that at one point it really was all about kinky sex. I'm wondering when all the relationship dynamic crap got tossed in. Or, alternately, was it always buried in there all along and it's only in very recent times that there's enough volume in the system to make these sorts of distinctions interesting and relevant? This is neat though, MaST is coming up next weekend and there's a few old-timers there. I've got some questions to ask now. I love asking history questions of the long-term fixtures.. not only do you get answers, but typically with very colorful stories to go along with them.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: BDSM & kink (8/30/2008 2:31:04 PM)
When near middle aged heteros came out in droves and decided they wanted their hot sex, but only within the confines of their safe, clean, secure relationship models they were already comfortable with.

leadership527 -> RE: BDSM & kink (8/30/2008 2:50:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross When near middle aged heteros came out in droves and decided they wanted their hot sex, but only within the confines of their safe, clean, secure relationship models they were already comfortable with. Man.... I SOOOOO want that choice on the profile... [ ] Dominant [ ] Submissive [ ] Slave [ ] Switch [ ] Inexperienced kid younger than Madrabbit [ X ] Near middle aged heterosexual [ ] What am I doing here and where's my walker? For me though, you'd have to turn it around. I want my alternate relationship model within the confines of the nice, tidy sex life I was already comfortable with laughs.

sistermargaret -> RE: BDSM & kink (8/30/2008 6:17:32 PM)
I'm wondering when all the relationship dynamic crap got tossed in. When Caveman chased cavegirl till she caught Him? i can't see any of this happening without some kind of relationship dynamic.

RCdc -> RE: BDSM & kink (8/30/2008 6:25:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross On the other hand, I think future generations will be a lot happier to just enjoy the kink without feeling the need to be "serious" about Ds- not that they won't enjoy Ds or Ms dynamics, I just get the feeling we'll have a lot more people content to be bottoms and not peer pressured to be "more" as a sub. I believe the happiness will occur when people not only accept that submission is a part of them, but that they can happily embrace being a top or bottom, sadist or whatever as well as... In other words, being a submissive doesn't restrict you to one single path. the.dark.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: BDSM & kink (8/30/2008 6:27:58 PM)
Great point Dark, I agree.

WhiplashSmile2 -> RE: BDSM & kink (8/30/2008 7:19:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross When near middle aged heteros came out in droves and decided they wanted their hot sex, but only within the confines of their safe, clean, secure relationship models they were already comfortable with. I somewhat agree with this, yet disagree with it. Kink Practices were going on way before the Gay Leather community. One example would be Germany both pre and post WWI and WWII, and it's spill over into America even.

Worldly1 -> RE: BDSM & kink (9/6/2008 2:40:27 PM)
It's whatever you want it to be for you. Most things in bdsm are kinky, but not all kinky things are bdsm. Don't get hung up on definitions and the opinions of others. Sometimes I have a vanilla day, and THAT'S KINKY!!! LOL

spanishkitten -> RE: BDSM & kink (9/7/2008 9:07:31 AM)
When first going into BDSM and talking to others to learn, I was told not to put anyone down for what they are into. But what I have been seeing is that others will put me down because of how I see and want my BDSM. Isn't it ok to have it different than how others have it. We are not clones of each other. So why is it that your BDSM has to be the same as mine? Why put me down because I have molded my BDSM into my likes, wants, my husband's likes and wants, just because my BDSM is different than yours? SpanishKitten

Worldly1 -> RE: BDSM & kink (9/9/2008 8:40:05 AM)
I was taught something quite a few years ago ykinnmkbykiokfy Your kink is not necessarily my kink, but your kink is ok for you.

tweedydaddy -> RE: BDSM & kink (9/22/2008 3:47:46 PM)
About the same difference as between vanilla and normal. If people want to, they will always find ways to hurt your feelings, whoever said that to you, do yourself a favour, don't bother talking to them again, if their petty comment spoiled one minute of your day, it was more than they were worth.

thedavezone -> RE: BDSM & kink (11/14/2008 12:40:13 PM)
BDSM = tied up and/or pain kink = everything else, like doing it outdoors, etc. Yes, there's a difference

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