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LadyLou -> RE: How hard is it to say "No thanks; I'm not interested"? (8/26/2008 5:56:21 AM)
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I will not respond to someone who obviously didn’t take the time to read my profile. I will not respond to one-liners. I will not respond to emails where most of the characters used in that email, consist of someone’s email address. I will not respond to obvious form mails.
I will always try and respond to someone who obviously put in some effort, but I found them incompatible. I even respond to those inept emails, if it seems they put effort into reading my profile. I will even respond to some form emails that made some decent specific reference to my profile.
I get so much useless email from those that mail me purely because I‘m logged in and am a woman, and don‘t bother checking my profile, that I appreciate it if someone takes the time and courtesy to do so. I send a polite note, that basically says thanks, but no thanks.
Am I rude in not replying to some? I don’t think so. Were they rude to email me, particularly if had they read my profile they would of found that it was inappropriate to do so? Yes, I believe they were.
Are you reading profiles, and emailing ladies selectively and appropriately? This will increase your chances of a reply. Is your approach as edgy as your attitude seems in this post? A minor irritation that escalates into a general sense of anger towards the demographic you seek, is a turn off for most people, and thus counter-productive.
If you see a lady you fancy in the real world, how do you approach her? I am going to assume you have decorum and tact, and you approach them as humans you take a genuine interest in…. just convert that into email.
But something I should point out is that it may just take time for someone to respond, even if they have read your mail. For example, I am always very busy, and I rarely respond immediately to strangers, or people I have had little contact with, even though it may show I have read the mail. It may take me several days or more for me to respond. So, just because you are not getting that immediate contact doesn’t mean you were ignored.
I see the argument for and against it being rude to ignore emails. But, no one is compelled to respond to you, even if your mail was appropriate, thoughtful and heartfelt. Some people, rightly or wrongly, feel it more appropriate to not reply; as has been said here, no response is often a response. We are all strangers here, and owe each other nothing but the most basic of common courtesy - and for some, that includes being kind enough not answer an email; it is not easy to basically say ‘I don’t like you’. For others it’s the decent thing to say ‘thanks but no thanks, good luck’. Its all down to someone’s moral compass, which is not for you to dictate. You consider it important in your moral compass to give a ‘thanks but no thanks’ response - those who don’t show you that kind of courtesy obviously weren’t compatible with you, so it is rather fortuitous they didn’t reply, isn’t it?
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