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ORIGINAL: beargonewild

Being single is fine and have spent the majority of my adult life single though interrupted by a few relationships that ended disastrously. In many ways I do enjoy being single and having a greater sense of freedom to do what I please. What I found was it is also a very lonely way of life, especially when I do yearn to have one to call my partner/spouse.

I had learned over the years that I don't need another to give myself validation as I found validation in knowing I am a decent person who does have much to give to another. I believe what it all boils down to is I want and need to have a person in my life to share all I have to offer. I miss waking up in the morning alone and I hate going to sleep in an empty bed. I miss the simple comfort of going up to my partner and whispering in his ear "I Love You" or even having a minor tiff over where to go on a saturday night. This really hits home when I've went to a friend's wedding and I find myself sitting back and wondering if I'm destined to be single forever and if I'll ever be lucky enough to have someone whom I'd have no problems on making a commitment of that magnitude.

Mind you I know myself well enough that see I have a fulfilling life with family and friends who care for me and I care for them. Sometimes it just doesn't seem quite enough and there''s still something "missing." Yeah, underneath I am a hopeless romantic and I do get very sentimental. I don't see that as a bad thing, it's just a part of who I am as a person.

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ORIGINAL: cjan

Darn, and I was till pining for that shallow, meaningless sexual/ oral relationship. Ummm, we couldalso go to the movies , discuss books and I'd still cook for you, of course....and, and, don't forget the massages, tee.

*sigh*

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ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Damnit!. I only have a 10..... change anyone?

Jeff

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ORIGINAL: subtee

 
So let’s get specific:

Are you satisfied being single? ----No I am not satisfied being single, I dislike it. I miss the emotional closeness, physical contact, compainionship, and being wanted.

Are you pining for a partner? ----I am not pining but am actively looking for one.

If you feel like it, write to the statements below in detail.
 
I am ready and available for commitment: ----Yes, I am ready and avaiable for a relationship
 
I know what I want: ----Yes, I want a long term relationship, someone in for the long haul
 
I know my requirements: ----Yes,  I know the type of man I am looking for or someone close to what I am looking for.

I am satisfied with my work/career: ----Yes and no, I like my job working for the school system because I get the same time off as my kids.  I would rather be a stay at home mom/wife

I am healthy in mind, body, and spirit: ----As best as I can at this time in my life
 
My financial and legal business is handled: ----As best as I can at this time in my life

 My family relationships are functional:  ----Yes, not the ideal but it works for us  

I have effective dating skills: ----I hope so it has been a long while since I have been in the dating scene lol

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ORIGINAL: subtee
...So let’s get specific: Are you satisfied being single? Are you pining for a partner? If you feel like it, write to the statements below in detail....  

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I have been around the block seventy or eighty times, now

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ORIGINAL: subtee

Ha. I see all you coupled people. It’s okay you can play too, but I’d prefer your responses are specific to the status of singlehood. I know you worship your Master and have found beatitude with your slave; that’s for another forum, please.
 
It seems to me we are more likely to express satisfaction or even happiness with the circumstances in which we find ourselves. In other words, singles will express delight with being single, coupled folks will tell you it’s bliss to be together.
 
So let’s get specific: Are you satisfied being single? During the periods when I was single, yes I was happy. Are you pining for a partner? When I was single I was not pining for a partner.  Usually I had left a not so good situation. If you feel like it, write to the statements below in detail.
 
I am ready and available for commitment: I have no emotional or legal baggage from a previous relationship. My schedule, commitments and lifestyle allow my availability to build a new relationship. Yes though it took me a long time to get there.
 
I am happy and successful being single: I enjoy my life, my work, my family, my friends, and my own company. I am living the life that I want, and I am not seeking a relationship out of desperation and need. When I was single I enjoyed all of this save a highly dysfunctional family. I now enjoy them more as much of it has changed for the better; career, new friends and family. I never sought out a relationship from desperation or need but through want. I wanted it but could be happy without it.
 
I know what I want: I have a clear vision for my life and relationship. I can envision my perfect life in rich detail that feels strong, very real, and keeps me motivated. This is a key for me. It took me a long time to find my clear vision. I think I always had a clear vision but allowed myself to ''settle'' for less at times.
 
I know my requirements: I have a written list of at least ten non-negotiable requirements that I use for screening potential partners. I am clear that if any are missing, a relationship will not work for me. This is what changed everything for me.  It took me many years and a great deal of soul searching to really know and become friends with my requirements. Once I knew that I would not settle for less than 100% from a partner just as I was willing to give 100%, everything changed for me. I learned that what I wanted and valued was important and that I could not live without what I wanted and needed being met. I had to place (learn to) a high value on me before I could expect to find what I was worth in a relationship.
 
I am satisfied with my work/career: My work is fulfilling, supports my lifestyle, and does not interfere with my availability for a new relationship. I am in the middle of one of my career's changing and am very happy with my new direction finally. My other career writing will never change much and I am happy with that.
 
I am healthy in mind, body, and spirit: My physical, mental, or emotional health does not interfere with having the life and relationship that I want. I am reasonably happy and feel good. I am as good as I am going to get though am going through a very difficult period at the moment. Once this is resolved then I see no reason why I will not go back to my very happy and content status.
 
My financial and legal business is handled: I have no financial or legal issues that would interfere with having the life and relationship that I want. Yes.
 
My family relationships are functional: My relationships with my children, ex, siblings, parents, and extended family do not interfere with having the life and relationship that I want. My own family relationships within my family have never been functional, ever and still are not. However, my relationships with my Moroccan family are sublime, loving and highly functional.
  
I have effective dating skills: I initiate contact with people I want to meet, and disengage from people who are not a match for me. I keep my physical and emotional boundaries, and balance my heart with my head with potential partners. When I was single just before I met my husband, yes. Before that I needed a great deal of work on breaking a cycle of abusive relationships which I successfully accomplished. Again, it was a very long road of self searching. Boundaries were an issue years ago which were also conquered successfully.
 
I have effective relationship skills: I understand relationships, can maintain closeness and intimacy, communicate authentically and assertively, negotiate difference positively, allow myself to trust and be vulnerable, and can give and receive love without emotional barriers.A definitive yes.
[http://www.raleighrelationshipcoaching.com/quiz/]
 
More…(anything else you’d like to share)…and thank you